End-of-pew blockers

[Angelsflight]

I will admit that I am a bit claustrophobic also, and I do have some social anxiety.

I usually would stand up immediately to let someone in, but if someone came along and asked me to scoot over, I would also do so without hesitation. I might be a little uncomfortable during mass, but it will certainly not kill me.

 

[shutterbugmom27]

Well, I am in RCIA and our Faith Formation instructor asked us to sit on the end so when we are dismissed, we don’t have to step over people. Easier that way. I also sit on the end because I have a couple of kids with me who cannot take communion yet because they are not Catholic. So while I am gone at dismissal for RCIA, my children can easily step out of the pew and let those taking communion pass by without being stepped over. If it was up to my 15 year old (who only comes to Mass to keep her younger sister company while I am at dismissal) they would sit at the far back corner so when the peace be with you’s come, there are less people trying to shake her hand. She does not like being touched.

Heather

 

[Actaeon]

It does not matter one iota…as long as there is a place. The pews I’m talking about are loooong enough for 20-25 people. They are blocked by 1 or 2 people at each end. There are 2 rows of 30 pews.

I’m a bit confused… you’re worried that they’re blocking the entrance to the pews, but instead of wanting entrance, you want them to slide over and give you their preferred seating simply because you have children?

What would be wrong with asking if they can slide out of the pew for a moment so that your family can go into the middle?

Perhaps this is not the way you mean to come off, but what it appears to me is that you want the aisle seat, you show up late because of having a family, so you want others to give up their aisle seat (rather than just wanting a place to sit in the pews). I have a strong feeling that if you were merely asking people to get past them into the center of the pews, this would not be a problem and we would not be hearing about it…

 

[chaela_may]

Why? Oh, why do people block the ends?..Plenty of room (sadly) to slide towards the center. Singles and couples mostly do this at our parish.

Yes, yes I know…‘Get there earlier’ ‘They are older’ ‘Ask them nicely to slide over’ and all that. Why is the onus on us (4 kids ranging from 4 months to 15 years). It is a small miracle that we even make it on time. We are usually stressed out enough after all the prep work that goes into Sunady mornings! Then I have to be the bad guy and beg some relaxed, well rested and care-free person to slide over?

A rant. Bad mood today and I’m gonna face this situation again Sunday. Maybe I should do a prayer request instead.

i don’t understand. are you upset that you have to ask people to move because they didn’t anticipate your needs?

 

[zab]

apparently, op is doing what God ordained. the sacraments are unwarranted and unmerited gifts that God doles out at His discretion. yes, there is free will involved so op made that choice, but God’s will is not for you to deny, neither is it for you to diminish his work and the work of his wife in the way that they serve God just because they do not serve Him in the same way that you do.

All the person is saying is that they (the OP) chose the married life and part of married life is having children and having to make sacrifices “Accept it and offer it up”. There is nothing in that statement to suggest the diminishing of another’s vocation. He/she was only asking for a little respect for his/her own status in life.

 

[KROMOLOW]

Deo Gratias42
Rour answer to Armour of Light was cold and unsympathetic.
Children are one of God’s greatest blessings for parents, and for the world.

You were a child once, how would you react if someone said what you just stated to your mother? Have more compassion for mother’s with children. If the Blessed mother with the infant Jesus came to church, and asked you to move over, what would you do? Give them the same answer? Think about it.

I pray to the Holy spirit for the gifts of Wisdom and Fortitude to be bestowed upon you.
Also for humilty. Soften your approach, pal. Seems like your attitude causes you problems not only in this forum, but I suspect in your personal life, too.

GBY brother

 

[maryjk]

Why? Oh, why do people block the ends?..Plenty of room (sadly) to slide towards the center. Singles and couples mostly do this at our parish.

Yes, yes I know…‘Get there earlier’ ‘They are older’ ‘Ask them nicely to slide over’ and all that. Why is the onus on us (4 kids ranging from 4 months to 15 years). It is a small miracle that we even make it on time. We are usually stressed out enough after all the prep work that goes into Sunady mornings! Then I have to be the bad guy and beg some relaxed, well rested and care-free person to slide over?

A rant. Bad mood today and I’m gonna face this situation again Sunday. Maybe I should do a prayer request instead.

I can see the baby causing you to run late, once in a while. But why would a 15 year old play into that? Certainly a 15 year old would not only get themselves ready, they could also help getting the younger children ready.

So, when you show up, is it that you don’t think you should have to ask someone to move? Or that you think they shouldn’t stand up to let you by, but should instead “slide” down the pew?

Sorry, but I don’t slide down the pew. If I do, my skirt ends up twisted around me, and dragging down the pew. Sorry, but I don’t need to dust the pew with my skirt. Rather, I stand up and let you move in. (Well, actually I do neither, since I sit in the front pew and no one ever wants to sit there. Unless it is Easter Vigil and people coming into the Church are in the front.)

 

[RyanBlack]

All the person is saying is that they (the OP) chose the married life and part of married life is having children and having to make sacrifices “Accept it and offer it up”. There is nothing in that statement to suggest the diminishing of another’s vocation. He/she was only asking for a little respect for his/her own status in life.

I disagree. The post was entirely lacking in consideration for the needs of families with young children.

 

[zab]

I disagree. The post was entirely lacking in consideration for the needs of families with young children.

I disagree. I can see where the OP’s post could come off as equally offending. And I know what it is like taking a large family to Church. I have ten, all adults now.

 

[RyanBlack]

I can see the baby causing you to run late, once in a while. But why would a 15 year old play into that? Certainly a 15 year old would not only get themselves ready, they could also help getting the younger children ready.

So, when you show up, is it that you don’t think you should have to ask someone to move? Or that you think they shouldn’t stand up to let you by, but should instead “slide” down the pew?

Sorry, but I don’t slide down the pew. If I do, my skirt ends up twisted around me, and dragging down the pew. Sorry, but I don’t need to dust the pew with my skirt. Rather, I stand up and let you move in. (Well, actually I do neither, since I sit in the front pew and no one ever wants to sit there. Unless it is Easter Vigil and people coming into the Church are in the front.)

According to your profile, you are a mother yourself. Can’t you understand that that are circumstances where families with small children need to have an aisle seat if at all possible? Of course there are other reasons why people in other categories also need an aisle seat. I don’t like sitting in the middle of a crowded pew (which is something I virtually never have to do in my very small parish), but if I were at Divine Liturgy without my wife and son, I would gladly give up an aisle seat to a family with young chilren. It just seems to me to be the decent thing to do.

 

[Julia_Mae]

Why? Oh, why do people block the ends?..

Because we suffer from anxiety disorders. Because we are old and often have to leave to get the bathroom. Because that’s where we want to sit.

Judge not lest ye get old and incontinent and someone gives you a dirty look because you won’t “slide over.”

I won’t.

 

[RyanBlack]

I disagree. I can see where the OP’s post could come off as equally offending. And I know what it is like taking a large family to Church. I have ten, all adults now.

The post showed a complete lack of even attempting to understand the struggles that families with young children face. Instead of speaking from a position of ignorance, the poster would have done better to write nothing at all, regardless of whether the OP might have come across as offending.

 

[Jeanne_S]

Extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist and people who have been asked to take up the gifts normally sit at the end of the pew so they can get out easily. There are also some people with health issues that feel more comfortable sitting at the end of the pew so they can get out easily if need be.

This!

 

[zab]

The post showed a complete lack of even attempting to understand the struggles that families with young children face. Instead of speaking from a position of ignorance, the poster would have done better to write nothing at all, regardless of whether the OP might have come across as offending.

The OP was asking the question “Why?” and she answered. Should we not attempt to understand her position?

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I’m a bit confused… you’re worried that they’re blocking the entrance to the pews, but instead of wanting entrance, you want them to slide over and give you their preferred seating simply because you have children?

What would be wrong with asking if they can slide out of the pew for a moment so that your family can go into the middle?

Perhaps this is not the way you mean to come off, but what it appears to me is that you want the aisle seat, you show up late because of having a family, so you want others to give up their aisle seat (rather than just wanting a place to sit in the pews). I have a strong feeling that if you were merely asking people to get past them into the center of the pews, this would not be a problem and we would not be hearing about it…

Nope…You missed it. There was a little rant in my original post, but I really wanted to know the reasons people have for not sitting towards the middle by default. I neither expect nor ask for special treatment because of my (large in my parish, small for a traditional parish) family. When I have asked people to move (thank God I don’t have social anxiety or I’d remain silent) they have been gracious. The reasons people are giving are different than what I expected, so I’m learning something!

 

[maryjk]

According to your profile, you are a mother yourself. Can’t you understand that that are circumstances where families with small children need to have an aisle seat if at all possible? Of course there are other reasons why people in other categories also need an aisle seat. I don’t like sitting in the middle of a crowded pew (which is something I virtually never have to do in my very small parish), but if I were at Divine Liturgy without my wife and son, I would gladly give up an aisle seat to a family with young chilren. It just seems to me to be the decent thing to do.

Interestingly enough, I showed up early for Mass back then. Yep. I got up earlier and earlier until I knew how much time it would take to get ready and get there early enough to get a seat. The OP has 4 children, you can’t tell me after 15 years he still hasn’t figured out how long it takes to get a baby ready for Mass.

The OP didn’t say he wanted an aisle seat for any reason other than he didn’t think he should have to ask people to slide over.

So, OP, what are you looking for? People to fill the church from the center of pews out? For people to know you want the end of the pew and move when they see you? Or is it okay to stand up, move out of the way and allow your family to slide down the pew?

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I disagree. I can see where the OP’s post could come off as equally offending. And I know what it is like taking a large family to Church. I have ten, all adults now.

Thanks for the support from the post by Gratias…No worries. I answered that one myself. I’m glad he or she was honest and admitted his or her reasons and shown a light on the subject. Now, I can pray for him or her!

 

[Actaeon]

Nope…You missed it. There was a little rant in my original post, but I really wanted to know the reasons people have for not sitting towards the middle by default. I neither expect nor ask for special treatment because of my (large in my parish, small for a traditional parish) family. When I have asked people to move (thank God I don’t have social anxiety or I’d remain silent) they have been gracious. The reasons people are giving are different than what I expected, so I’m learning something!

Okay, just thought I’d check since a lot of people don’t feel inclined to slide to the middle after they’ve clearly chosen the aisle seat.

Personally, I sit on the center aisle for two reasons:

1. I have a bad knee, which makes kneeling sometimes difficult. I look young for my age (almost 30 now… wow), so it might be hard to understand for some people that getting back up is sometimes a fairly painful experience. The pews in our church have arm rests, and being able to grab onto that and push helps me to stand.
2. I’m also in the military, and I think in terms of threat assessment. If a threat comes into the parish, the only way I’d be able to engage it is to be near an aisle, and near the door into the nave… hence my taking an aisle seat at least 2/3rds of the way back from the sanctuary (at my parish, the front seats are the most popular). A stupid reason, sure, but the bottom line is that psychologically I feel more comfortable being near the aisle, especially since being catholic and in the military makes me feel like if there ever was a threat for whatever terrible reason, I would want to be the person to respond to that.

Well, that and I have a notoriously small bladder and sometimes have to get up in the middle of mass…

 

[zab]

Thanks for the support from the post by Gratias…No worries. I answered that one myself. I’m glad he was honest and admitted his reasons and shown a light on the subject. Now, I can pray for him!

 

[Armor_of_Light]

Interestingly enough, I showed up early for Mass back then. Yep. I got up earlier and earlier until I knew how much time it would take to get ready and get there early enough to get a seat. The OP has 4 children, you can’t tell me after 15 years he still hasn’t figured out how long it takes to get a baby ready for Mass.

The OP didn’t say he wanted an aisle seat for any reason other than he didn’t think he should have to ask people to slide over.

So, OP, what are you looking for? People to fill the church from the center of pews out? For people to know you want the end of the pew and move when they see you? Or is it okay to stand up, move out of the way and allow your family to slide down the pew?

The issue has come back to light recently because we have moved farther away and are still getting a handle on things. Also, my boys are older now and not around every weekend. Plus…they don’t exactly ‘help’ anything, but that is a rant for another time!