I’m sorry to hear you are going through this, but as someone who broke up with another person that I loved over this exact issue, perhaps I can help you out with some of the (possible) reasons why she was so affected by the revelation that you lied to her about your addiction:
- Assuming you were really in love (I was) it’s 100,000 times harder to hear about an issue like this than it would be with someone you are casually dating. Multiply this exponentially if you kept this issue from her until later in the relationship.
- You mention that you looked at porn frequently before dating her and then less and less as you got to know her. Whether you realise it or not, she was becoming your substitute for porn which is not healthy. It doesn’t mean you gave up the addiction just that you found a substitute - something more interesting - for now.
**3) Porn addictions destroy marriages and absolutely annihilate a person’s ability to love another in a normal, healthy way. It may seem harmless but it is not - it does awful damage, conditioning the person who watches it to treat person they love into an object to be used. Your girlfriend probably understood this and realised the potential damage that could occur from affirming your behaviour by remaining in the relationship. **
- This addiction isn’t a silly habit that you can simply give up or get over on your own. It requires serious prayer, guidance from a Priest and, if necessary, therapy. When you are in a state of addiction like that it is not good to be in a relationship where your addiction can harm others (whether you realise it or not).
I am am saying all of this in the utmost charity. For the sake of your future girlfriend(s) and spouse, please get help now. Don’t treat this as a minor issue because the longer you expose yourself to the influences of porn, the more it will damage your ability to enter into a Christlike relationship with a woman. **Find a good Priest, get rid of your computer if necessary (internet access is less important than your eternal soul) and start NOW. **
I will say a prayer for your intention.