Engaged/birth control

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Ruthcloud

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Hi everyone, Let me introduce myself. I am 19 years old and engaged to be married in the next 4 months.
It is an exiting and nerve racking time in my life!
My husband is a devoted Catholic and I converted to Christ a few years ago.
So to make a long story short, as the wedding is coming closer and closer, the wedding night came up, and all that comes along with that 😛
We have had a few talks with the father about married life and much of the subject of birth control and contraception was alien to me.
It was a little shocking to me at first but little by little it has made sense to me…I think we need not be cultural imitators, who are closed to life, but we should be transformers of our culture to be open to life.
I have also been reading my bible and it is clearly opposed to a society that chooses cars and big screen TV’s over life.
So more and more I am accepting the churches view before our marriage.
I do have some reservations as most people think I am too young to be married and the critisicm would increase if I became pregnant soon.
I am glad there is a forum like this as I grew up in foster homes and don’t have any role models that are close to talk to.
 
Ruthcloud said:
I do have some reservations as most people think I am too young to be married and the critisicm would increase if I became pregnant soon.
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I know it is difficult, but it is a lesson you must learn-- letting criticism roll off your back. You cannot please everyone, and frankly you need not try. Your marriage and family are your business, and no one else’s. The sooner you stand up for yourself in this regard, the sooner people will figure out that their criticism is ineffective and they will stop it.
Ruthcloud said:
I am glad there is a forum like this as I grew up in foster homes and don’t have any role models that are close to talk to.
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Welcome!
 
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

My baby sister was also married at 19. They had hoped for a honeymoon baby, but it did not work out. However, she did have a baby within a couple of years. They have been married for over 13 years now and have four lovely children.

My other sister was 20 when she married, and they, too, have four beautiful children and have been married for over 15 years.

Your age does not disqualify you from being sufficiently mature to marry, and it is a truly good thing to see that you are coming to understand the Church’s positions and why She holds them.

You sound like a sweet young woman, and I pray God’s blessings on you and your marriage.
 
Ruthcloud said:
Hi everyone, Let me introduce myself. I am 19 years old and engaged to be married in the next 4 months.
We have had a few talks with the father about married life and much of the subject of birth control and contraception was alien to me.
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Congratulations!! Will you two be able to take a class on Natural Family Planning from your parish or diocese? You may find the teachers very helpful.

Blessings to you both.
 
First, welcome and congratulations.

Second, I would not let other people’s concerns bother you. My wife was 19 and I was 22 when our oldest daughter was born. We got the “you’re too young” and “it’ll never last” speech a couple dozen times the first year. Well 18 years and 5 kids later we are still married. Listen and trust God’s guidance. It will get you much further than the psycho babble you hear most days about “knowing yourself” before getting married.
 
Usige said:
First, welcome and congratulations.

Second, I would not let other people’s concerns bother you. My wife was 19 and I was 22 when our oldest daughter was born. We got the “you’re too young” and “it’ll never last” speech a couple dozen times the first year. Well 18 years and 5 kids later we are still married. Listen and trust God’s guidance. It will get you much further than the psycho babble you hear most days about “knowing yourself” before getting married.
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Dittos on the above !
 
First, welcome!!! And congratulations!!! My wife and I have been married 11 years, we have 4 absolutely awesome Catholic kids! We use NFP and my wife was 19 when we married!!! I am a stay at home dad and we homeschool. My wife is a plant scientist. We are both converts.
Biggest advice:

ENROLL IN AN NFP CLASS!!!
Ruthcloud said:
Hi everyone, Let me introduce myself. I am 19 years old and engaged to be married in the next 4 months.YAY!!!
It is an exiting and nerve racking time in my life!yup!👍 And it only gets more exciting from here!
My husband is a devoted Catholic and I converted to Christ a few years ago.What does converted to Christ mean? You are Catholic? Protestant? Converted from what to what? I also converted to Christ but I converted to the Catholic Church when I came to Christ. Perhaps you could clarify because it can matter, especially raising kids and having kids. If you aren’t Catholic but your husband is serious about his faith you should really look into the Church, what is holding you back?
So to make a long story short, as the wedding is coming closer and closer, the wedding night came up, and all that comes along with that :pHow refreshing that a young couple has a “wedding night” be something special. That is awesome!!
We have had a few talks with the father about married life and much of the subject of birth control and contraception was alien to me.Me too, but you will find the Church is absolutely logical, and correct on this issue
It was a little shocking to me at first but little by little it has made sense to me…I think we need not be cultural imitators, who are closed to life, but we should be transformers of our culture to be open to life.Absolutely!!! You sound awfully Catholic to me…👍
I have also been reading my bible and it is clearly opposed to a society that chooses cars and big screen TV’s over life.True
So more and more I am accepting the churches view before our marriage.Which Church? THE CHURCH? hmmmmm you sure sound Catholic to me. I hate to keep harping on the same point but…
I do have some reservations as most people think I am too young to be married and the critisicm would increase if I became pregnant soon.LOL Yup, my family hates that we have more than two kids. They are all non Catholic and we get comments and judgements and we are fully grown adults. I’m sorry to tell you it could get a lot worse for you. But honestly, if you are following Christ and His will who cares what they think!!!
I am glad there is a forum like this as I grew up in foster homes and don’t have any role models that are close to talk toHopefully your betrothed is a good rolemodel for you. The main job of a spouse is to help you and your kids get to heaven. That is what my wife does for me and I for her…
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Did anyone else catch her referring to her “husband”? but she’s engaged?
 
Ruthcloud said:
Hi everyone, Let me introduce myself. I am 19 years old and engaged to be married in the next 4 months.
It is an exiting and nerve racking time in my life!
My husband is a devoted Catholic and I converted to Christ a few years ago.
So to make a long story short, as the wedding is coming closer and closer, the wedding night came up, and all that comes along with that 😛
We have had a few talks with the father about married life and much of the subject of birth control and contraception was alien to me.
It was a little shocking to me at first but little by little it has made sense to me…I think we need not be cultural imitators, who are closed to life, but we should be transformers of our culture to be open to life.
I have also been reading my bible and it is clearly opposed to a society that chooses cars and big screen TV’s over life.
So more and more I am accepting the churches view before our marriage.
I do have some reservations as most people think I am too young to be married and the critisicm would increase if I became pregnant soon.
I am glad there is a forum like this as I grew up in foster homes and don’t have any role models that are close to talk to.
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Congratulations!
 
I did call him “husband” I was wondering what you guys were talking about, I had to go back and read it.
Cheezy is right, I look at my hunk as my Husband…I have never been more sure in my life!
It has been such an awakaning, I thought like most girls, that I would go on the pill and have a career KWIM. I did not know there was another way.
I feel honored that I have a “fiance” that is willing to take care of me, and this is not just a financial arrangement KWIM?
 
Ruthcloud said:
I did call him “husband” I was wondering what you guys were talking about, I had to go back and read it.
Cheezy is right, I look at my hunk as my Husband…I have never been more sure in my life!
It has been such an awakaning, I thought like most girls, that I would go on the pill and have a career KWIM. I did not know there was another way.
I feel honored that I have a “fiance” that is willing to take care of me, and this is not just a financial arrangement KWIM?
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Did you look at marriage as simply a form of financial means until you met your sweetheart?
 
I don’t think I viewed marriage this way intentionaly, just referring to how popular culture knida views it.Don’t get married young get your career in order,have a fulfilling sex life while you are waiting for Mr. Or Mrs right and then settle for marriage and wait for kids until all the pieces fit together…usually in the form of material stuff or money.
I think faith needs action, I can believe in something but should act on it.

As for my viewpoint as being a ward of the state most of my life, I was always just a dollar sign, I was in someones home for monetary gain and it was very apparant.
I feel overwhelmed that my husband loves me and I am not a further ends to a means, take away birth control and I really am more of a liability as my earning power goes away, I am not a sexual, money making object in his eyrs KWIM
 
Too funny, I did it again! I called him “Husband”. It is also hard as the wedding is coming up and we also live together.
 
I just wanted to say how happy I am for the two of you and congratulate you on your upcoming marriage and of course also your conversion to the Faith, and a true Christian way of life. It’s really awesome that you found it each other at such a young age and now you will be able to enjoy your youth together to the fullest.

As mentioned before, you two should look into NFP (natural family planning), and if you can stay in touch with your priest also after the wedding if you have any questions or need advice.

I sincerely wish you all the very best for your life! I’m sure you’ll make some beautiful kids too 🙂
 
Thank you very much for the compliments, it is so nice to have found a group so pro life and pro family…it is such a breath of fresh air!
I should also add that although we live together we have never had marital relations, we are both virgins, a little embarassed to state this in public…a little shy and naïve!
I met my fiance at a fitness class we both attend and he was my customer at a beauty salon that I work for. He bought a house and needed a renter and things blossomed from there
🙂
As for NFP I did look into it and studied it, but I can’t justify waiting this long (he’s 25) and not being able to fill our boots to our hearts desire after our wedding. Why not have some fun and let our hair down to reeward ourselves for showing such disclipine! I would like to give all of myself to him after we are man and wife and hold nothing back. The only reason I can think for not being open to being pregnant would be vanity, my figure. We have a house and my fiance brings home a very good living.
Have any of you married couples done the same? How did it work out?
 
Ruthcloud said:
Thank you very much for the compliments, it is so nice to have found a group so pro life and pro family…it is such a breath of fresh air!
I should also add that although we live together we have never had marital relations, we are both virgins, a little embarassed to state this in public…a little shy and naïve!
I met my fiance at a fitness class we both attend and he was my customer at a beauty salon that I work for. He bought a house and needed a renter and things blossomed from there
🙂
As for NFP I did look into it and studied it, but I can’t justify waiting this long (he’s 25) and not being able to fill our boots to our hearts desire after our wedding. Why not have some fun and let our hair down to reeward ourselves for showing such disclipine! I would like to give all of myself to him after we are man and wife and hold nothing back. The only reason I can think for not being open to being pregnant would be vanity, my figure. We have a house and my fiance brings home a very good living.
Have any of you married couples done the same? How did it work out?
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Look, NFP is not only used to avoid. Sadly many use it this way. If you study NFP and learn your body you will know when to conceive, and you will also learn about your cycles and signs BEFORE you need to avoid. By all means, if you feel the need to procreate, do it. But NFP is a time learned method and there may be a Post Pardum time in your life that you will wish you knew your body better. Take the class, put in the effort. Do it right.

NFP is not something you just learn when you need it. It takes time and can help you in your sex life.
 
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