etiquette at Mass

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Karl Keating:
I’d give such folks more slack.

Some may have physical problems, such as bad legs, that may not be obvious.

Others may have a kind of problem that may force them to leave Mass in a hurry, such as unruly intestines, and they won’t want to crawl over anyone.

And others may suffer from agoraphobia or otherwise have trouble even being in crowds, and they need that extra “space” at the end of the pew.
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Oh Karl–I’m afraid you did catch me in gripe and not a legitimate etiquette suggestion. The venting of a frustrated usher–I want to be welcoming to large families who need seating-but when people set themselves as bookends-it can be a little awkward. I am often distracted during mass when people are left standing and there are wide open spaces in the middle of the pews.
I will work on giving people a little slack-I have had the joy of worshipping with our brothers and sisters in Haiti-They know how grateful they are for a seat when many of them have walked over an hour with their Sunday shoes slung over their shoulder-that you practically sit on one anothers laps. When it comes to intestinal problems the majority of the congregation suffers from worms. It has been wrong of me to compare the two different ways of life. I apologize for using this forum to vent. I count it as a blessing that the beam in my eye glows neon before I can bang anyone over the head with it.
 
Maybe you need some instruction from a skilled usher …

I don’t mean Jerry (Usher). I mean me.

At my previous parish, after the other usher had packed his side of the church to what he was sure was maximum capacity, I’d go over and show him how to get nine chubby tourists into a pew built for eight regular people. (The parish was in a state historic park, and 80% of the people at Mass were from out of town.)

I had no compunctions about dragging latecomers all the way up the side aisle to the front pew. Of course, I wouldn’t tell them that the only open spot was in the front. I’d point sort of toward the middle and motion for them to follow me. I’d stop at the middle, and, when they had caught up, I’d walk to the front, motioning them again. They were stuck–and served them right for being late.

No one was allowed to put a young child or a purse or a coat on the pew, to take up space when someone else needed to sit. My thinking was: “You wanna sit? Fine, but don’t make this pregnant woman stand or this elderly man lean against the wall. You can put your belongings or your toddler on your lap. That’s why God made laps.”

You let people stand even though there was room in the middle of a pew? You wouldn’t have passed the usher test at my parish. All you need to do is to go to that pew, lean close to the guy hugging the end, and ask him to move in.

If he scoots in, keep waving him down the pew until his elbow hits the rib of the person at the other end. If he doesn’t move, smile at him, lean down, tilt up the kneeler, and wave in the family with four kids and two car seats.

The secret: Just be pushy. Real pushy. (Pretend you’re assigned to pack commuters into a rush-hour Tokyo subway.)

Of course, if the person at the end of the pew is there for an obvious medical reason, you smile a lot and say “Thanks” repeatedly, but you still tilt up the pew and wave the others in.
 
Sometimes you can’t help being late though. I think I have finally got in through the head of my Protestant husband (who sometimes has to drive me) that I MUST get there in time to get a good seat and to have a time of prayer. Once I barely got into my seat and didn’t even have a chance to sit down before it started…and it was HIS fault. 😛 He’s gotten better at leaving earlier though…

When someone doesn’t want to scoot over I don’t force it. Before the Easter Vigil I didn’t receive and it was so much easier for me to sit on the end and get up and let everyone out than for people to stumble over me because I was forced into the middle of the pew.

dream wanderer
 
Karl Keating:
Maybe you need some instruction from a skilled usher …

I don’t mean Jerry (Usher). I mean me.

At my previous parish, after the other usher had packed his side of the church to what he was sure was maximum capacity, I’d go over and show him how to get nine chubby tourists into a pew built for eight regular people. (The parish was in a state historic park, and 80% of the people at Mass were from out of town.)

I had no compunctions about dragging latecomers all the way up the side aisle to the front pew. Of course, I wouldn’t tell them that the only open spot was in the front. I’d point sort of toward the middle and motion for them to follow me. I’d stop at the middle, and, when they had caught up, I’d walk to the front, motioning them again. They were stuck–and served them right for being late.

No one was allowed to put a young child or a purse or a coat on the pew, to take up space when someone else needed to sit. My thinking was: “You wanna sit? Fine, but don’t make this pregnant woman stand or this elderly man lean against the wall. You can put your belongings or your toddler on your lap. That’s why God made laps.”

You let people stand even though there was room in the middle of a pew? You wouldn’t have passed the usher test at my parish. All you need to do is to go to that pew, lean close to the guy hugging the end, and ask him to move in.

If he scoots in, keep waving him down the pew until his elbow hits the rib of the person at the other end. If he doesn’t move, smile at him, lean down, tilt up the kneeler, and wave in the family with four kids and two car seats.

The secret: Just be pushy. Real pushy. (Pretend you’re assigned to pack commuters into a rush-hour Tokyo subway.)

Of course, if the person at the end of the pew is there for an obvious medical reason, you smile a lot and say “Thanks” repeatedly, but you still tilt up the pew and wave the others in.
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Yes-I am an usher in training-I do get a chuckle when I seat latecomers in the front pews–Is this what Jesus meant about the last being first??? Thank you for taking time to respond.
 
I have never seen the movie … but after seeing Liturgical Dancer’s - I don’t think I will see it
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Please don’t let that keep you from seeing The Music Man - it’s great! The wonderful rythyms will have you prancing for days. And Karl’s comparision of the Grecian urns to liturgical dance will be even funnier. 😃
 
Actually, it reminds me more of that old Disney flick: Trouble with Angels: the Gypsy Rose Lee scene with “willows! willows! You’re all so gawky, so graceless . . . I’ll need $10 for leotards” 😃
 
I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion, people trimming their finger-nails. AAAAAHHHHHHH! Some were adults even!
 
Men who don’t remove their hats. Yes, I have seen this a couple of times. They were on the other side of the church otherwise I would have politely asked them to remove their hats. How come the people closer didn’t asked them to take their hats off???
 
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Kat24:
One thing that bugs me is when people are putting the kneeler down and they let it drop on purpose. It makes such a loud noise! I understand when it drops on accident, but it happens three or four times every Sunday. Does that bug anyone else???
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My husband is 6’4" and when kneeling sometimes his feet will knock the kneeler in the pew behind us down. He tries to watch but sometimes his mind is into the mass and forgets.
maggiec
 
At our parish we actually have a man who sits in the Handicapped Only pew in his golf clothes and jumps up frequently to answer his cell phone. I wish I could get his cell phone number. I would post it for all of you to call…
 
Altar servers wearing flip flops or sneakers – no excuse for it. What takes the cake, though, was the altar server wearing a ponytail high on her head and curlers in her hair. Sure, she tried to hide it under a scarf, but ---- COME ON!!! I spent half the Mass being distracted and wondering, "Is she wearing …? Nooooooooo… wait, yes she is. Or is she? If I could just get a closer peek . . . "

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Truly unbelievable, dontcha’ think? :eek:
 
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Sheen:
Altar servers wearing flip flops or sneakers – no excuse for it. What takes the cake, though, was the altar server wearing a ponytail high on her head and curlers in her hair. Sure, she tried to hide it under a scarf, but ---- COME ON!!! I spent half the Mass being distracted and wondering, "Is she wearing …? Nooooooooo… wait, yes she is. Or is she? If I could just get a closer peek . . . "

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Truly unbelievable, dontcha’ think? :eek:
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THAT TAKES THE CAKE!!! THANKS FOR THAT ONE. I WOULD SAY IT IS UNBELIEVABLE–BUT I’M CONSTANTLY SURPRISED BY THOSE FLIP FLOPS SO CURLERS ARE ONLY A FEW SUNDAYS AWAY—
 
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davy39:
Has anybody seen things at Mass that gets under your skin? Such as gum chewing? Let’s hear about them.
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Incessant gabbing before and after Mass.
 
Karl Keating:
You let people stand even though there was room in the middle of a pew? The secret: Just be pushy. Real pushy. (Pretend you’re assigned to pack commuters into a rush-hour Tokyo subway.)

Of course, if the person at the end of the pew is there for an obvious medical reason, you smile a lot and say “Thanks” repeatedly, but you still tilt up the pew and wave the others in.
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Man, i wish we had this problem!:gopray:
 
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pelekeeper:
At our parish we actually have a man who sits in the Handicapped Only pew in his golf clothes and jumps up frequently to answer his cell phone. I wish I could get his cell phone number. I would post it for all of you to call…
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Now… that’s not nice 😦

Couldja mention it to him that it’s distracting at Mass?
 
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davy39:
Has anybody seen things at Mass that gets under your skin? Such as gum chewing? Let’s hear about them.
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It must be pointed out that gum chewing during Mass (at least) for those intending to receive the Blessed Sacrament, (per Canon 919) have broken their one hour fast and thus should not receive. Seems inevitable however, they always do.
 
I am amazed by all the people who come in late and leave early, and for parents who allow their children to leave during Mass to get a drink of water or use the toilet. It would be fine if these things happend ocassionaly, but it is so common each week. We are so blessed to have Jesus truly present with us each week; could we show our reverence for an hour or so?
 
Having to hold hand and shake hands is my biggest pet peeve. I don’t want to shake hands with people after they have finished picking their noses or their seats or who knows what else. We get all these health instructions about avoiding contact to avoid colds, flu and other communicable, respiratory diseases, yet we are expected to make close, somewhat extended contact with people we don’t know at Mass!

Regarding chewing gum and fasting. Chewing gum is flatly disrespectful, just like a man wearing a hat in church. As for fasting, when I was young parents were careful not to let children eat before Mass; now that seems almost quaint with a lot of folks stopping by the Starbucks for a latte or a biscotti and coffee before going on to the church.
 
Irishsh:
It must be pointed out that gum chewing during Mass (at least) for those intending to receive the Blessed Sacrament, (per Canon 919) have broken their one hour fast and thus should not receive. Seems inevitable however, they always do.
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Dear Irishsh-My mother is not Catholic but she has come with me. One time we pulled in the parking lot and she pulled out her gum-I said “You can’t chew gum!!??!!” She said she wasn’t Catholic-but I said it didn’t matter-she would look like a heathen. She put it away- and I am sure she has received many graces for having such a pest for a daughter.😛
 
The things that bug me the most during Mass are: 1) immodest and inappropriate dress, 2) ringing cell phones, 3) noisy and unruly children, 4) the sound of drums and tambourines, 5) adults talking, 6) priests preaching their socially just homilies while wearing Superman shirts and police uniforms, and 7) priests who refuse to abide by the rubrics. Great Caesar’s Ghost, I sound like that old Lithuanian man with the big moustache who slapped me when I was 4 for misbehaving during Mass. I never misbehaved again. So maybe he had the right idea! Only kidding! On second thought let me cogitate on this for a while.
 
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