etiquette at Mass

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Karl Keating:
Whenever I hear of liturgical dancers, the image that comes to mind is from “The Music Man.”

The mayor’s wife, Mrs. Shinn, and her old-biddy friends are putting on a “cultural presentation” at the social being held in River City’s park. The women float around the outdoor platform, gowns billowing, hands extended in the air. They come together in the center and strike a pose: “One Grecian urn!” They flit around a bit and strike another pose: “Two Grecian urns!”

If you’ve seen the movie, you know how closely this comes to liturgical dance.
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:rotfl:

Karl…that was my image, too…maybe because I ws in the chorus and was one of the Ladies Auxiliary in that play. I was a grecian urn…(oy!).

And you’re absolutely right.
–Ann
 
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Forgiven:
Great thread!

People coming late to Mass really irk me. I have seen them come in thirty minutes late! It is so rude to all of us who arrived on time or early, and mostly rude to Our Lord, of course. It is incredibly disruptive. They should attend another Mass if they are going to be late.

It bothers me when people talk all the way through Mass, or if they are using their normal voices instead of whispering, at the very least. Adults should know better.

Loud children and crying babies. When my son was a wee baby I sat in the rear of the church and if he started fussing we went out of the church. I never allowed him to cry and cry the way some mothers do. It is just too disruptive to the rest of the parishioners.

And of course, cell phones ringing in Mass. This happens nearly every Sunday at our parish, even though there are signs everywhere in the vestibule and an announcement is made at the beginning of Mass. It is so rude. I always turn mine completely off before coming in to Mass. I always wonder when one goes off: where did that person think they were going? where do they think they are?? Turn them off, folks, before Mass!!! Simple!
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As a new mom, I found your post interesting.

I always try to get to mass on time. I really, really do. In fact, I’m usually early. However with the baby it’s been increasingly difficult when I haven’t slept the night before and at times I’ve wandered in after the opening hymn. 😦

If I get to church a little late I sit in the back. Hard part is, you got some of the people in the back who like to sit on the end and not move over. :confused:

Anyway, my kid is generally good. He makes little squawks now and then. No biggie. If he REALLY starts to fuss, my husband or I walk him out because we don’t want to disturb people. But a little squawk now and then isn’t a big deal, and people around us generally smile (he is a smiley, happy guy…and a real charmer).

My pet peeve - truly ill-behaved kids in church. I mean…the ones that are running around, squealing, eating food like cheerioes (a bottle I can understand, but c’mon!!), playing with toys like cars and such. One Sunday we had the horrible experience of sitting in the cry room, which is the “baby ghetto”. Never again. One three year old boy was running around the room. At the end of mass, he ended up next to him mysband, hanging upside down on one of the chairs. My husband looked down at him with the “evil eye”.

He ran crying to his mother.
😃
–Ann
 
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Gertrude:
Well, when I’ve taken the last of the cup it’s because the Eucharistic minister whispered, “Drink it all!!” I’m not going to argue . . . 😃
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Firstly, he/she is not a Eucharistic Minister, but an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion.
Secondly, he/she is not to say anything, other than the words: “The Body of Christ,” or “the Blood of Christ.”

Pax Christi. <><
 
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Sparky:
As a new mom, I found your post interesting.

I always try to get to mass on time. I really, really do. In fact, I’m usually early. However with the baby it’s been increasingly difficult when I haven’t slept the night before and at times I’ve wandered in after the opening hymn. 😦

If I get to church a little late I sit in the back. Hard part is, you got some of the people in the back who like to sit on the end and not move over. :confused:

Anyway, my kid is generally good. He makes little squawks now and then. No biggie. If he REALLY starts to fuss, my husband or I walk him out because we don’t want to disturb people. But a little squawk now and then isn’t a big deal, and people around us generally smile (he is a smiley, happy guy…and a real charmer).

My pet peeve - truly ill-behaved kids in church. I mean…the ones that are running around, squealing, eating food like cheerioes (a bottle I can understand, but c’mon!!), playing with toys like cars and such. One Sunday we had the horrible experience of sitting in the cry room, which is the “baby ghetto”. Never again. One three year old boy was running around the room. At the end of mass, he ended up next to him mysband, hanging upside down on one of the chairs. My husband looked down at him with the “evil eye”.

He ran crying to his mother.
😃
–Ann
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Hi Ann,

I didn’t mean the simple small squaks of wee babies, I mean out and out shrieking! Or very, very loud crying. I don’t understand why one of the parents doesn’t remove their child from the room so everyone else may possibly hear the priest…??? At my parish, numerous parents allow their small babies to cry and cry and cry and cry–it’s unbelievable. And then there’s the kids who run all over the place in and out of the pews, to the bathrooms, up and down the aisles–where are their parents??? This sort of stuff I just do not understand. For some reason this has been tolerated in my huge urban parish, but when one of the little ones come my way I ask them to go sit by their parents!

As for coming late to Mass, the best remedy for this is to get ready earlier! Even with a small baby this is possible. I understand your feelings of being exhausted but coming late effects everyone else around you when you do so. Perhaps you can attend a later Mass. And as for the rude people at the end of the pews who won’t move over, just say excuse me and start going into the pew! I know many of the folks who sit on the ends of the pews get there early so they may do so, but I believe that they should be charitable when there is room next to them and let you in or at least they could step out of the pew and let you in, or they could scoot over, for silly’s sake! I also like to sit on the end of the pews but in my overflowing parish this is simply not possible! People come in late all the way up to Holy Communion…very disturbing, but it happens all the time. So, Ann, if these rude people will not make room for you just say excuse me, I need to sit down with my baby, please!! You shouldn’t have to do that, but it sounds like you might have to in your case! --or get there earlier–!!! God bless you and yours, Ann!

Geraldine
 
What really bothers me (more than cell phones) is parents who don’t take their young crying or yelling children back to the narthex, which was established when our church was built a few years ago as the place to go with children. There is also a childcare room for at least one Mass that not enough parents take advantage of. Also, when people come dressed for going out to a fast food joint.
 
I am in favor of babies and kids of all ages at Mass, which is where they will learn how to behave, but I draw the line at parents who change their diapers in the pews. Visited a church in another state yesterday, beautiful new building, lots of seating in the narthex for parents with unruly kids, church was packed, they have large, convenient bathrooms, both mens and womens have baby changing stations, plus there are two sets of bathrooms in the adjacent parish hall. I saw no less than 4 babies being changed in the pews, two during Mass, one before, one after. At least they took the dirty diapers with them. Is there a parent out there who can suggest some justification for this?
 
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asquared:
I am in favor of babies and kids of all ages at Mass, which is where they will learn how to behave, but I draw the line at parents who change their diapers in the pews. Visited a church in another state yesterday, beautiful new building, lots of seating in the narthex for parents with unruly kids, church was packed, they have large, convenient bathrooms, both mens and womens have baby changing stations, plus there are two sets of bathrooms in the adjacent parish hall. I saw no less than 4 babies being changed in the pews, two during Mass, one before, one after. At least they took the dirty diapers with them. Is there a parent out there who can suggest some justification for this?
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Okay, that’s just gross. Yuck. Even when our parish only had one toilet/sink in a closet-sized room for the ENTIRE parish, I never saw anyone change a diaper in the pew (we’ve only had our nice new bathrooms for a few months).
 
this thread made me sad a little. it seems that the overall theme is that somehow during mass, people pay more attention to the little things and get bothered by meaningless actions than paying attention to the mass itself.

if someone doesn’t move over in a pew, i go to another pew.
if someone dresses in a miniskirt, be thankful you had the good sense not to.
if someone leaves early and arrives late, that’s their choice. they have to answer for their own actions, maybe their loved one is dying and they just got a text message saying ‘get to the hospital now’ - you never know the reasons.
if someone chews gum, maybe they’re embarrassed by bad morning breath and would rather not offend those around them.
if they stop and get a coffee before mass, at least they’re doing it as a family, something lacking in the world today.
if someone wears flip flops, quite frankly, so did Jesus.
if someone wore curlers under a scarf, she still threw a scarf on and was responsible enough to get to the mass to SERVE, more stewardship than those sitting in pews.
if someone brings cherrios for a child, that shows a devotion to raising a child in the Catholic faith by actually BRINGING them to mass instead of deceiding its ‘easier’ to just stay at home because the kids don’t behave. perhaps the child is diabetic and needs to eat.
if people clap for the song the choir sang, say thank you to God for that talent he loaned to you that makes people feel good enough to applaud you.
if a cell phone rings, maybe they just forgot to turn it off or on vibrate, people make mistakes.

i’m the kind of person i stay focused on my thoughts and remain in my own head, i never get aggrevated or upset…so in mass, i see none of this, i am at mass to worship, satan himself could be leading a marching band outside the doors, and my focus would remain on the reason i am there. Jesus.
 
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asquared:
I am in favor of babies and kids of all ages at Mass, which is where they will learn how to behave, but I draw the line at parents who change their diapers in the pews. Visited a church in another state yesterday, beautiful new building, lots of seating in the narthex for parents with unruly kids, church was packed, they have large, convenient bathrooms, both mens and womens have baby changing stations, plus there are two sets of bathrooms in the adjacent parish hall. I saw no less than 4 babies being changed in the pews, two during Mass, one before, one after. At least they took the dirty diapers with them. Is there a parent out there who can suggest some justification for this?
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EEEEW! Then you have to shake hands with these folks, and then take Communion in the hand. Talk about a great way to spread viruses and disease!
 
Mike C:
to thechrystmaster:

Those are just excuses not answers.
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forgive people for their shortcomings 7x700.
any tension, anger, resentment, hatred or anger toward another person doesn’t come from Christ.
 
My list:
  1. People who keep their sunglasses on during Mass. Here a lot of people wear them on the top of their heads but a few each Sunday keep them over their eyes.
  2. Although I have (once) forgotten to turn my phone to silent mode, I was disturbed when someone was talking behind me a few Sundays ago. When I snuk a peek, she was carrying on a conversation on her cell phone.
  3. People who come to Mass with a non-English speaker and translate the whole thing, homily and all in a loud voice. Sorry, but even my kids know that if you *absolutely have to talk * - you whisper.
 
From what I’ve read so far of Catholic Etiquette by Kay Lynn Isca, every person who attends any Catholic service, whether it be mass, wedding, baptism, funeral, etc. should read the correct portions of this book first. It can be useful to Catholics, but also to non-Catholics attending an event for the first time.
 
We had a family once where the teenage girl would read a novel, and I think one not in such good taste, during mass. I was pretty appalled at the parents.
 
I have one that just burns my bottom. Sometimes my KofC council will sell raffle tickets after masses at the various churches in the area. We will set up in the lobby of one local church about 15 minutes prior to the end of mass (the lobby is actually part of the school). I see, every time I do this, people enter the church at communion (enter directly into the line), and leave without so much as 1 genuflection or planting their rear end in a pew for a moment. Its not one or two either, but 5 to 10 at every mass. I may just being petty, but this seems very disrespectful to me.
 
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thechrismyster:
if someone brings cherrios for a child, that shows a devotion to raising a child in the Catholic faith by actually BRINGING them to mass instead of deceiding its ‘easier’ to just stay at home because the kids don’t behave.
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Thank you, Chrismyster :yup: You’re very understanding. Teaching kids to behave is a process that takes time. Kids will never learn how to behave at mass if they don’t go…
 
QUOTEOne of our parishoners always brings a ‘picnic’ bag. He sets up his beaker of water on the pew in front and then during the Mass will open the flask and take a good ould drink of water. He will sit after the Gospel as the Priest is praying the Prayers of the Faithful and do it at this time.

Now I do not think that any human can not go 30 mins without a sup of water???

Maybe I am wrong but it is very annoying indeed.

God Bless,
Fergal
Naas
Ireland

Just was curious on this thought! My sister has cancer and receives treatment and she has to drink water alot of it because of the chemo. Is it possible that this may be a medical problem also.:confused:
 
kmktexas said:
My list:
  1. People who keep their sunglasses on during Mass. Here a lot of people wear them on the top of their heads but a few each Sunday keep them over their eyes.
  2. Although I have (once) forgotten to turn my phone to silent mode, I was disturbed when someone was talking behind me a few Sundays ago. When I snuk a peek, she was carrying on a conversation on her cell phone.
  3. People who come to Mass with a non-English speaker and translate the whole thing, homily and all in a loud voice. Sorry, but even my kids know that if you *absolutely have to talk * - you whisper.
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I’m just curious as to why you would need a translator for Mass when all Mass’s structure are the same throughout the world. I suppose I could see one having a translator for the homily, but after, that why? It’s just in a different language.

Oh, what bugs me is people talking through out the whole Mass. It’s hard to concentrate when you have people behind you saying very nasty things to each other.
 
catholic_teen said:
I’m just curious as to why you would need a translator for Mass when all Mass’s structure are the same throughout the world. I suppose I could see one having a translator for the homily, but after, that why? It’s just in a different language.

Oh, what bugs me is people talking through out the whole Mass. It’s hard to concentrate when you have people behind you saying very nasty things to each other.
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Dude this thread is from '04 that’s six years ago. Please refrain from bringing up very old topics. If you want to talk about the subject please start a new thread and leave old one be.
 
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