Even grandma had premarital sex, survey finds

[LittleRose]

The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past.

Big deal. The women born in the 40’s reached their teens and twenties during the late 50’s and the 60’s, which means these were the people that started the sexual revolution! Surprise, Surprise! We’re at a point in time where grandma may have been a hippie.

But apparently, the generation before that one was more chaste, or they’d be touting that in their little article too.

 

[StratusRose]

I’m not much of a supporter of abstinence only, but abstinence based programs instead. Ignorance never does anyone good. I am against against contraception (and pre-marital sex), but I would not have been against either if I had not learned about both. I think teens need to learn about contraceptives so if a friend starts to have sex they can tell them about how it can fail and why!! I learned in class that condoms break and have a failure percentage. I don’t know where else I would have learned that. Mom and I didn’t talk about that sort of thing. Just my $.02 though. I see the point why kids shouldn’t learn about it, also.

You know what really works? When I was in sex-ed classes in the 10th grade my teacher showed us pictures of STD infected genitalia. That scared the “you know what” out of us. I bet kids in my class thought twice about “doing it.”

Back on topic, this article didn’t really surprise me. But it had a “everyone else is doing” message. I didn’t like that. What’s right isn’t always popular and what’s popular isn’t always right.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

But the people having pre-marital sex aren’t 3 years old. They tend to be in their teens and older. If you want people to choose abstinence, make it more attractive, don’t just lie and hide the other options.

Haha. I certainly didn’t say that people having pre-marital sex are three years old. I certainly hope not!

And I don’t advocate lying or hiding the facts. Which is precisely why I oppose the idea that “condoms will protect you.”

 

[beckers]

I think this is very mis leading
So what if 95% of people had sex before marriage? If everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it too?

This article completely leaves out those who have had sex in past relationship and then changed their lives and became chaste. Not only do times change but so do people. Praise God that we are forgiven for are sins!

 

[steveandersen]

I think this is very mis leading
So what if 95% of people had sex before marriage? If everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it too?..

The point is obviously for public health policy makers

It is a pragmatic study rather than a normative one.

 

[Mac6yver]

IMO, (I know I am going to get flack for this, especially on this forum.) teaching a child about safe sex is similar to teaching them about using a seat belt. You hope that they never have to use it, but if they do you will be glad they did.

 

[didymus]

Yes frequency does equal normal in a way. Normal only means that a behavior or belief is toward the norm (or the average) of what people’s behaviors or beliefs are.

True, but you could have a society in which the statistically “normal” belief set is totally abhorrent, e.g. Nazi Germany – or in some aspects the present-day West.

So if 90% of people are having pre-marital sex then yes, it would be to the norm or normal. Normal is not a word that implies moral approval.

Acually it does, at least tacitly. Divorce used to be a scandal but some time after WW II divorce became common enough to be “normal” and no longer something to be ashamed of. The same goes for out of wedlock births.

 

[Benedictus]

The fact of the matter is that no matter how many times you tell teenagers about abstinence a certain percentage (and not a small percentage) will have sex. Thus, I think they need some basic information about condoms and other contraceptives.

 

[WenckebachCath]

I wonder how many people wailing about premarital sex were virgins when they married? Probably not many. Yes, it’s easy once the fires have cooled to blithly condemn young people for many things, including their sexual escapades.

 

[hasikelee]

I think everyone arguing about teen education is really missing an important piece of info here: hello, who learns this stuff from sex ed?

Are you kidding me, teens don’t learn about condoms, pills, jellies, positions, stds and more from a teacher. Half of them already know it and you can get both the products and the knowledge anywhere.

What they are never presented with is a clear, strong and focused plan to think about their life, what their goals are, and how to take care of their bodies and learn self-control so they can be a part of society. It’s called growing up and it is being seriously delayed.

I say, if kids have to learn how to use a condom and take birth control, why don’t we have kids learning how to load a gun and aim properly? Why aren’t kids allowed to learn how to properly shoot up and clean their needles? Kids might just do these things, too.

Of course, some kids do have a learning curve. The 20yo coworker who had an abortion has been sex free for several months now, after sexual activity since she was 16. She gets the picture now. Too bad no one could educate her for real before she had to go through multiple abusive partners, sensitivity to ABC with possibly permanent infertility and a traumatizing abortion.

 

[kim3260]

I think everyone arguing about teen education is really missing an important piece of info here: hello, who learns this stuff from sex ed?

Are you kidding me, teens don’t learn about condoms, pills, jellies, positions, stds and more from a teacher. Half of them already know it and you can get both the products and the knowledge anywhere.

What they are never presented with is a clear, strong and focused plan to think about their life, what their goals are, and how to take care of their bodies and learn self-control so they can be a part of society. It’s called growing up and it is being seriously delayed.

I say, if kids have to learn how to use a condom and take birth control, why don’t we have kids learning how to load a gun and aim properly? Why aren’t kids allowed to learn how to properly shoot up and clean their needles? Kids might just do these things, too.

Of course, some kids do have a learning curve. The 20yo coworker who had an abortion has been sex free for several months now, after sexual activity since she was 16. She gets the picture now. Too bad no one could educate her for real before she had to go through multiple abusive partners, sensitivity to ABC with possibly permanent infertility and a traumatizing abortion.

I totally agree. That’s the problem, everyone looks for the bandaid solution. Sure the “bandaid” will stop the bleeding but isn’t it better to avoid getting “cut” in the first place Same with premartial sex, we look for the solution much to late.

 

[fix]

The fact of the matter is that no matter how many times you tell teenagers about abstinence a certain percentage (and not a small percentage) will have sex. Thus, I think they need some basic information about condoms and other contraceptives.

Why not abortion too?

 

[puzzleannie]

NEW YORK - More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past.

women born in the 1940s, like myself and other boomers, were the first generation to experience the effects of the so-called sexual revolution, the first to have reliable woman-controlled ABC available, and the first to attend college in an atmosphere of dorms turning from places to sleep into places to experiment sexually in an atmosphere tolerated, if not actively encouraged by the administration.

We were the generation that spawned radically feminism, turning a 100-yr-old movement to secure women’s civil rights into a movement to change the meaning of gender and femininity, which its leaders characterized as an attack on the “tyranny of biology”.

We are also the generation that now, in the retirement years, is facing the consequences of no fault divorce, the guilt of earlier abortions, and the breakdown of marriages that crumble once their earlier bases–physical attraction, on-demand sex with no consequences, “satisfying my needs”–are gone.

This article does nothing more than prove the devastating damage done to women and to families that the sexual revolution spawned.

 

[Nohome]

They tend to be in their teens and older. If you want people to choose abstinence, make it more attractive, don’t just lie and hide the other options.

I taught science to 11, 12 and 13 year olds in a Catholic school. They were having sex. I was forbidden to teach contraception, it didn’t matter. They knew all about their options.

My coworkers, many of them single, were having sex too. In one case with each other! Being married, I was the only person in the building having legitimate sex!

I have no answers, but I would say the statistic from this study are consistent with my experience. I would also say the abstinence I taught was a complete failure.

Nohome

 

[irenaeus1]

While I think you are correct, you won’t much support for that view on this forum (except for me ). Believe me, I’ve tried.

Of course he won’t find much support for that view on this forum - many of whom are faithful Catholics… what do you expect? Support from dissenting Catholics is another story as you have clearly demonstrated.

In Christ,
Irenaeus

 

[irenaeus1]

While premarital sex is certainly not optimal, it’s happening. 95% statistic is pretty telling. You can’t keep your head in the sand, and neither can the Church.

As I mentioned, chasity should always be the 1st choice, but young folks and all folks need to be educated on the other choices.

AIDS, STDS, unwanted pregnancies, abortions are all up. I would much rather see a person wear a condom that will probably prevent a pregnancy, than have somebody get an abortion or have that child live in poverty and misery.

God has to feel the same way.

God does not feel that way because the end does not justify the means if the means are evil.

 

[irenaeus1]

While premarital sex is certainly not optimal, it’s happening. 95% statistic is pretty telling. You can’t keep your head in the sand, and neither can the Church.

So if we can get more men to cheat on their wives (what’s the target - 95%?), then adultery should be acceptable too.

 

[irenaeus1]

Why do I even bother? By you asking those questions in relation to this subject tells me what your state of reality is.

:banghead:

BTW, using the good sense that God gave us all to try to stop terrible diseases, children wallowing in poverty and abortions is not evil. However, you have to put that good sense to work.
In fact, not trying to stop these things when you have the methodology available is more evil IMO.

Putting rubber on your gentials as you crudely put it is not a end all beat all solution, I admit. However, doing nothing except preaching chasity certainly isn’t cutting it either.

So let’s give intravenous drug users sterile needles while you’re at it.
:banghead:

 

[fix]

I taught science to 11, 12 and 13 year olds in a Catholic school. They were having sex. I was forbidden to teach contraception, it didn’t matter. They knew all about their options.

My coworkers, many of them single, were having sex too. In one case with each other! Being married, I was the only person in the building having legitimate sex!

I have no answers, but I would say the statistic from this study are consistent with my experience. I would also say the abstinence I taught was a complete failure.

Nohome

Success is not the only issue. We teach kids not to cheat on their taxes, many still do. That does not mean we ought to teach them better ways to avoid not getting caught while doing it.

Everyone wants a good result and that is understandable. The problem is too many want to obtain that good end any way possible.

 

[irenaeus1]

IMO, (I know I am going to get flack for this, especially on this forum.) teaching a child about safe sex is similar to teaching them about using a seat belt. You hope that they never have to use it, but if they do you will be glad they did.

No, it’s not like wearing a seatbelt… using a condom is more like hoping that when playing Russian Roullette, the cartridge lands on an empty chamber before pulling the trigger.