Ever change your first impression of someone's looks, or anything else?

[Lea101]

Her life took a decided turn for the worse several years later. I can’t say that upset me. Oddly, a couple of the guys she chewed up and spit out are still so infatuated with her all these years later that they refuse to believe how she turned out and get a wistful, faraway look in their eyes if anyone brings her up to them. Crazy.

Well, that’s the advantage of being beautiful

I’m not nice to look at and as a result people think I am mean and stupid. All of my friends at one point or the other have told me that they were shocked to see that I was quite smart and funny :crying:

 

[Sarcelle]

Well, that’s the advantage of being beautiful

I’m not nice to look at and as a result people think I am mean and stupid. All of my friends at one point or the other have told me that they were shocked to see that I was quite smart and funny :crying:

:hug1:
Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As you grow older and see more of the world, you will see what I mean.

I don’t know about the beauty standards of Singapore but if it is anything like the other Asian nations it is rather quite narrow. At least here in the West it is a lot more diverse.

 

[Lea101]

:hug1:
Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As you grow older and see more of the world, you will see what I mean.

I don’t know about the beauty standards of Singapore but if it is anything like the other Asian nations it is rather quite narrow. At least here in the West it is a lot more diverse.

Beauty standards are the same as the West (we are heavily influenced by them), and so the pretty ones are usually half white/or some other non asian race or they are blessed with “European features” while the rest of whine about our looks

 

[Sarcelle]

Beauty standards are the same as the West (we are heavily influenced by them), and so the pretty ones are usually half white/or some other non asian race or they are blessed with “European features” while the rest of whine about our looks

You noticed that too huh?

I’m afraid European women are the standard of beauty used in this world. The rest of us non European women will have to live with that. Anyway, I am not here on this earth to win a beauty contest. Good thing about being Christian, it gives us the correct perspective of life. There’s more to la woman’s life than being considered conventionally pretty.

If that is a feminist perspective than so be it.

 

[chevalier]

I think I might have asked a similar question ages back, but I have noticed many posters stating as fact, that the less attractive among us have no chance of even being considered as dating or marriage material. And many have reassured them that no, it is possible to become attracted to someone later on, even if the first impression was not of overwhelming attraction.

However, I do wonder how common this actually is. It has happened to me more than once, but I am a woman, and it seems most of the comments about physical attraction being a pre-requisite to dating, are based on assumptions that men are “wired” in a way that if they don’t find a woman attractive on first glance, they will never give that women a second glance, and so a woman who is not that attractive, have no, or at least very little chance, to find a mate.

I find such a bleak view of dating to be, well, extreme. On the other hand, most of the “homely” people I know who are happily married or partnered, are older. So maybe people need to mature a bit to look beyond looks? Or maybe all that means, is that these people were more attractive when they were younger?

Though I guess a cynical view would be, most men aren’t shallow enough to dump a woman they’ve come to love, even if she later loses her earlier beauty. But they still must have been attracted to her at some point to even consider them as a possible spouse.

Two things, or, well, three:

1. Yes, most ‘homely’ people end up being in a relationship or married. Life laughs at stereotypes.
2. Yes, I’ve changed my initial opinions, including on a woman’s looks.
3. However, men are generally more front-loaded in this regard than women, who are more gradual. We’re also likely to be more visual than women. Being more visual and more front-loaded would gravitate toward first impressions mattering a lot and being relatively stable. (Except that most people who have not been gifted with great or even average looks generally are in a romantic relationship anyway, so, again, life laughs at this sort of thing.)

 

[Estevao]

I used to have a oneitis thing with a girl, but then I realized she was a feminist and I lost all attraction for her. When somebody holds disgusting beliefs like Nazism or feminism it makes whatever physical attraction they may have lose its power. I’ve also experienced the attraction for virtuous women who are physically plain jane looking, which was also interesting. It’s almost like a foretaste of heaven in a way, the beauty of God shining through.

 

[Lea101]

I used to have a oneitis thing with a girl, but then I realized she was a feminist and I lost all attraction for her. When somebody holds disgusting beliefs like Nazism or feminism it makes whatever physical attraction they may have lose its power. I’ve also experienced the attraction for virtuous women who are physically plain jane looking, which was also interesting. It’s almost like a foretaste of heaven in a way, the beauty of God shining through.

That ‘disgusting belief’ basically means to want equality for both genders…
Unless she’s one of those secular feminists that’s all for abortions, nudity etc.

And even then, that doesn’t speak for feminism globally. Don’t generalise, dude

 

[SilverShadow22]

That ‘disgusting belief’ basically means to want equality for both genders…
Unless she’s one of those secular feminists that’s all for abortions, nudity etc.

And even then, that doesn’t speak for feminism globally. Don’t generalise, dude

Feminism is generally taken to mean things that are disgusting beliefs, most particularly in this context.

Even ‘equality’ needs to be defined. The sexes are not equal in nature or ability and pretending such hurts both. Here in America much is made out of ‘things that still need done’ but the laws already mandate equal opportunity and all that.

No one can legislate personal preference or bias and there will always be something somebody doesn’t like. And the way I see it, the more bitter women there are pushing for their vengeance, the more misogyny and disharmony we’re going to create.

 

[Xantippe]

Feminism is generally taken to mean things that are disgusting beliefs, most particularly in this context.

Even ‘equality’ needs to be defined. **The sexes are not equal in nature or ability and pretending such hurts both. **Here in America much is made out of ‘things that still need done’ but the laws already mandate equal opportunity and all that.

No one can legislate personal preference or bias and there will always be something somebody doesn’t like. And the way I see it, the more bitter women there are pushing for their vengeance, the more misogyny and disharmony we’re going to create.

So, if women are being mistreated, they’d better shut up because otherwise, they’re going to get it REALLY bad?

Also, nobody is equal to any other human being in nature or ability–there are no two identical human beings, even twins. But we are equal in dignity and value to our creator.

 

[SilverShadow22]

So, if women are being mistreated, they’d better shut up because otherwise, they’re going to get it REALLY bad?

Also, nobody is equal to any other human being in nature or ability–there are no two identical human beings, even twins. But we are equal in dignity and value to our creator.

Here I thought that’s exactly what I said.

Forget it. Just… Forget it.

 

[LethalMouse]

So, if women are being mistreated, they’d better shut up because otherwise, they’re going to get it REALLY bad?

Also, nobody is equal to any other human being in nature or ability–there are no two identical human beings, even twins. But we are equal in dignity and value to our creator.

If me and you have equal qualifications

We apply for a job

We both get denied and Joe gets hired bc he has 3 more years experience than me and you.

I walk away and look for another job

You cry sexism and seek a law that forces you to get the job over Joe.

That is feminism, and that is as evil and equal to the other side of inequality.

 

[SilverShadow22]

So, if women are being mistreated, they’d better shut up because otherwise, they’re going to get it REALLY bad?

Also, nobody is equal to any other human being in nature or ability–there are no two identical human beings, even twins. But we are equal in dignity and value to our creator.

In using the word ‘vengeance’ , I thought I made myself fairly clear…

Trying to ‘get back’ at men in general just makes women into very undesirable objects, good only for sex-and-run… Because what kind of man wants to actually live with a woman who (acts like or says she) hates men? Usually not the good ones…

If it’s vengeance you actually want… Then I bow out because I can’t do anything with that.

 

[Lea101]

That is feminism, and that is as evil and equal to the other side of inequality.

That is someone using feminism for her own benefit. Unless she didn’t know he had more work experience, which is quite common, I mean we don’t read everyone’s resume do we? What normal feminists are doing in most scenarios are:

Say we both apply for a job. Both equally qualified, same experience, same everything. I get denied a job because I’m female, because idk, I can get pregnant and take paid leave, because maybe some woman hurt him in the past, because he thinks my PMS would get in the way or because he thinks I’m more irrational than you.

Or choosing men for managerial positions because of stupid prejudices such as “women don’t know how to lead” or something. Which is very common here

(This is just examples in the workplace since you brought that up)

There are many evils of feminism (which I brought up earlier) but that’s not representative of the movement. Are you going to tell a feminist fighting for the right to have education that feminism is evil? Or the group of Indian women begging not to be raped because they don’t have a male companion to follow everywhere?

When you shun feminism as a whole, you are shunning these women who actually face sexism. And chances are, those people who do so aren’t doing anything to protect women’s rights.

Most women would rather have an actual movement that can spark change (Emma Watson giving a speech to the UN for example) with has some negative side effects than a Catholic that says “feminism is evil, God sees both of us as equal” and then move on with his/her day.

Catholics gotta start being active if they want people to adopt a more “catholic gender equality”

Anyway let’s not hijack this thread. We keep going off topic

 

[Estevao]

I just meant my point to be about how a virtuous woman can be more beautiful than one who is full of vices. My swipe at “feminism” was trolling, which I should not partake in as it gets in the way of discussion, my apologies.

 

[LethalMouse]

That is someone using feminism for her own benefit. Unless she didn’t know he had more work experience, which is quite common, I mean we don’t read everyone’s resume do we? What normal feminists are doing in most scenarios are:

Say we both apply for a job. Both equally qualified, same experience, same everything. I get denied a job because I’m female, because idk, I can get pregnant and take paid leave, because maybe some woman hurt him in the past, because he thinks my PMS would get in the way or because he thinks I’m more irrational than you.

Or choosing men for managerial positions because of stupid prejudices such as “women don’t know how to lead” or something. Which is very common here

(This is just examples in the workplace since you brought that up)

There are many evils of feminism (which I brought up earlier) but that’s not representative of the movement. Are you going to tell a feminist fighting for the right to have education that feminism is evil? Or the group of Indian women begging not to be raped because they don’t have a male companion to follow everywhere?

When you shun feminism as a whole, you are shunning these women who actually face sexism. And chances are, those people who do so aren’t doing anything to protect women’s rights.

Most women would rather have an actual movement that can spark change (Emma Watson giving a speech to the UN for example) with has some negative side effects than a Catholic that says “feminism is evil, God sees both of us as equal” and then move on with his/her day.

Catholics gotta start being active if they want people to adopt a more “catholic gender equality”

Anyway let’s not hijack this thread. We keep going off topic

I fix what is wrong, not punish the innocent.

If I see a woman treated unfairly I have no problem doing something about it.

The difference is that even here for me I would not fight for myself, bc I already know the evils entailed. Better to die a hero than live to be the villain.