Ever change your first impression of someone's looks, or anything else?

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Lea101 said:
Yeah it’s funny how people think short=sweet.

I remember after yelling at a guy for touching my wallet, he called me a chilli padi- small but spicy (bird’s eye chilli)

Such a weird moment but it is true. Haha
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Oh yes. I am quite familiar with these tiny chillies. Pack quite a punch for their small size.

Local cuisine in Hawaii uses a lot of those in the form of chili water.

Me, I was called Thai dragon once, which is quite inaccurate.

I’m not even Thai.
 
Sarcelle said:
Oh yes. I am quite familiar with these tiny chillies. Pack quite a punch for their small size.

Local cuisine in Hawaii uses a lot of those in the form of chili water.

Me, I was called Thai dragon once, which is quite inaccurate.

I’m not even Thai.
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Seems alot of pride going around in being dragon like vs Jesus like 😦
 
bitterhope said:
It isn’t always like that (thankfully!) and it shouldn’t be that way either. Physical appearances mean nothing, not just with people but other things in life as well. Have you ever noticed a beautifully kept home but the family there is a royal mess? The fact that they have a nice place hasn’t done a thing for them because they have focused on the wrong things to keep it that way. It’s so much better to have a cluttered yard and a house in need of minor repairs that is full of love and happiness. Have you ever seen a very well maintained car with the family riding in it are fussing at each other? Sometimes we are so interested in how things appear to those around us that we don’t actually take the time and effort necessary to make things work. Looking beyond exteriors when firming opinions is very important.
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You are so right!!
 
LethalMouse said:
Seems alot of pride going around in being dragon like vs Jesus like 😦
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A Thai dragon is a variety of chili pepper. Dragons do not exist.

I was playing off the chili pepper theme from Lea’s post yet your judgemental post makes me exhale fire.

You don’t even know me yet you judge my spiritual state as being prideful.

Why do you do that?
 
Sarcelle said:
A Thai dragon is a variety of chili pepper. Dragons do not exist.

I was playing off the chili pepper theme from Lea’s post yet your judgemental post makes me exhale fire.

You don’t even know me yet you judge my spiritual state as being prideful.

Why do you do that?
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I didn’t know that was a pepper, and he may not have, either.

Regardless, I took it as teasing…which is I responded in kind. 🤷
 
LethalMouse said:
Mild bit of both 😛 I am not “judging your spiritual state”

And it was more in jest than not 🙂

But you know what they say about much protest 😛
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Okay.

Yeah I was spewing fire there for a moment.

Sorry for snapping at you.
 
Getting back on topic, there were two times I went through this. Both occurred back in college and neither of the girls ever crossed my mind as anything other than a friend at first. Neither was at all attractive, one even moreso than the other (strictly objectively speaking). I got to be good friends with each of them and each time found my opinion of them changing drastically as I got to know them better. In each case, things never worked out timing wise and we were never more than friends.

At the same time, has any of you ever changed your impression in a negative way? I’ve had this happen much more often, although I can only think of two instances where there was any possibility of a relationship. In each case the girls were absolute knock-outs and I felt they were way out of my league, to be honest. However, each of them saw something in me and in each instance there was a distinct possibility of more than just a friendship. As time went on, though, I got to see just how terrible they really were. Suddenly, those looks not only didn’t mean that much, but I no longer found them attractive. The one was so awful that, to this day, when I see women with similar looks my instant reaction is closer to revulsion than anything else, which likely has something to do with why I’m not a fan of a couple actresses.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
Getting back on topic, there were two times I went through this. Both occurred back in college and neither of the girls ever crossed my mind as anything other than a friend at first. Neither was at all attractive, one even moreso than the other (strictly objectively speaking). I got to be good friends with each of them and each time found my opinion of them changing drastically as I got to know them better. In each case, things never worked out timing wise and we were never more than friends.

At the same time, has any of you ever changed your impression in a negative way? I’ve had this happen much more often, although I can only think of two instances where there was any possibility of a relationship. In each case the girls were absolute knock-outs and I felt they were way out of my league, to be honest. However, each of them saw something in me and in each instance there was a distinct possibility of more than just a friendship. As time went on, though, I got to see just how terrible they really were. Suddenly, those looks not only didn’t mean that much, but I no longer found them attractive. The one was so awful that, to this day, when I see women with similar looks my instant reaction is closer to revulsion than anything else, which likely has something to do with why I’m not a fan of a couple actresses.
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Attractive as in you’re attracted to spend more time with her, then yes, all of us probably have these experiences be it with friends or partners

But attractive as in looks-wise, the beautiful girls are still beautiful, ugly girls are still ugly, plain girls are still plain.

I don’t know whether you would say that the ugly girls become beautiful (in terms of looks, not inner beauty) bc you did not explicitly say that, but that’s kind of the problem I guess other girls and I have

But there are always exceptions of course 🙂

I wonder what that girl did for you to be “scarred”:eek:
 
Gordon_Sims said:
At the same time, has any of you ever changed your impression in a negative way?
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I’ve had that happen a few times, especially when I was younger. Not often based on looks, really, but other factors. I learned pretty quickly that just because a guy is intelligent and is teacher’s pet doesn’t always mean he’s a good guy. And just because a woman seems friendly and sweet around certain people doesn’t mean she’ll be a good friend when those people aren’t around. And similar scenarios.

As far as appearances, I have found that just because someone looks grouchy or angry, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are. 😃
 
Lea101 said:
Attractive as in you’re attracted to spend more time with her, then yes, all of us probably have these experiences be it with friends or partners

But attractive as in looks-wise, the beautiful girls are still beautiful, ugly girls are still ugly, plain girls are still plain.
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I disagree. While their looks didn’t objectively change, my subjective opinion of them certainly did. As a result, I was quite attracted to their non-conventional looks. The only thing that changed was my perception.
I wonder what that girl did for you to be “scarred”:eek:
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With her it was how she treated others–not me–that did it. I’d never met anyone that mean-spirited, self-centered, conniving, etc. Unfortunately, because of her looks, she was able to keep on using and mistreating others until she’d worked her way through a good number of the people I knew, leaving them all horribly miserable.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
Getting back on topic, there were two times I went through this. Both occurred back in college and neither of the girls ever crossed my mind as anything other than a friend at first. Neither was at all attractive, one even moreso than the other (strictly objectively speaking). I got to be good friends with each of them and each time found my opinion of them changing drastically as I got to know them better. In each case, things never worked out timing wise and we were never more than friends.

At the same time, has any of you ever changed your impression in a negative way? I’ve had this happen much more often, although I can only think of two instances where there was any possibility of a relationship. In each case the girls were absolute knock-outs and I felt they were way out of my league, to be honest. However, each of them saw something in me and in each instance there was a distinct possibility of more than just a friendship. As time went on, though, I got to see just how terrible they really were. Suddenly, those looks not only didn’t mean that much, but I no longer found them attractive. The one was so awful that, to this day, when I see women with similar looks my instant reaction is closer to revulsion than anything else, which likely has something to do with why I’m not a fan of a couple actresses.
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Yes, it’s very possible to be attracted to someone at first and then later on down the line find something in them that is intolerable.

I knew a couple of guys in high school who were bullies. To this day, whenever I see a man who shares their look, my first reaction is also revulsion. Of course, I acknowledge this as irrational so I try hard not to give in to this first impression.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
I disagree. While their looks didn’t objectively change, my subjective opinion of them certainly did. As a result, I was quite attracted to their non-conventional looks. The only thing that changed was my perception.

With her it was how she treated others–not me–that did it. I’d never met anyone that mean-spirited, self-centered, conniving, etc. Unfortunately, because of her looks, she was able to keep on using and mistreating others until she’d worked her way through a good number of the people I knew, leaving them all horribly miserable.
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Whew, you must have dodged a bullet on that one. You must have come across a narcissistic sociopath. You can know if you met one by the amount of damage they do to the people around them.
 
Sarcelle said:
Whew, you must have dodged a bullet on that one. You must have come across a narcissistic sociopath. You can know if you met one by the amount of damage they do to the people around them.
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Her life took a decided turn for the worse several years later. I can’t say that upset me. Oddly, a couple of the guys she chewed up and spit out are still so infatuated with her all these years later that they refuse to believe how she turned out and get a wistful, faraway look in their eyes if anyone brings her up to them. Crazy.
 
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