Ever change your first impression of someone's looks, or anything else?

[LethalMouse]

MacDonalds made me grow horizontally, does that count

I meant that too lol.

But that Filet-o-fish friday is delicious

 

[Lea101]

I meant that too lol.

But that Filet-o-fish friday is delicious

Do y’all have spicy mcnuggets there? It’s soooooooo good. (Although I like to pretend that i have no idea how nuggets are made)

 

[Lea101]

But we digress

 

[LethalMouse]

But we digress

Tis the “spice” of life

 

[ToeInTheWater]

I may be an anomaly among women, but I really don’t care at all what a man’s height is in relation to myself. Although I am on the short side for a woman (I like to say 5 feet 2 inches but I’m really rounding up when I say that), I have actually met a fair number of men who were about my height and I did find some of them attractive. Of course, most men are taller than me.

So, even very common preferences are not universal. After all, even actual “little people” often do marry those of “average height”. And it’s not just the women. The younger Roloff boy married a woman of average height. So did Peter Dinklage.

ETA: I guess one could argue “but those guys were celebrities, of course women would go for them” but that still shows that even strong dating preferences can be overridden by other factors.

 

[bitterhope]

I may be an anomaly among women, but I really don’t care at all what a man’s height is in relation to myself. Although I am on the short side for a woman (I like to say 5 feet 2 inches but I’m really rounding up when I say that), I have actually met a fair number of men who were about my height and I did find some of them attractive. Of course, most men are taller than me.

So, even very common preferences are not universal. After all, even actual “little people” often do marry those of “average height”. And it’s not just the women. The younger Roloff boy married a woman of average height. So did Peter Dinklage.

ETA: I guess one could argue “but those guys were celebrities, of course women would go for them” but that still shows that even strong dating preferences can be overridden by other factors.

A couple at church is pretty mismatched height wise. The lady is about 5’ 11" (she’s taller than my 5’ 10" husband so I’m guessing that’s about her height) and her husband is only slightly taller than me. As I mentioned before I’m 4’ 11". I’m guessing they like each other at least a little bit. They just celebrated their 65th anniversary and have 12 children. These are certainly not celebrities. Just normal everyday farmers. Being am Army wife I’ve met several tall women married to short men. It seems infantry men are often quite short and attractive to very tall women. I really don’t see height as much of a factor in things, but as I’ve mentioned before, overall looks don’t really matter to me either.

 

[AbideWithMe]

A couple at church is pretty mismatched height wise. The lady is about 5’ 11" (she’s taller than my 5’ 10" husband so I’m guessing that’s about her height) and her husband is only slightly taller than me. As I mentioned before I’m 4’ 11". I’m guessing they like each other at least a little bit. They just celebrated their 65th anniversary and have 12 children. These are certainly not celebrities. Just normal everyday farmers. Being am Army wife I’ve met several tall women married to short men. It seems infantry men are often quite short and attractive to very tall women. I really don’t see height as much of a factor in things, but as I’ve mentioned before, overall looks don’t really matter to me either.

Neat story. I have to wonder if male self-confidence helps in height matches like that.

 

[bitterhope]

Neat story. I have to wonder if male self-confidence helps in height matches like that.

Probably does. I truthfully have never met an infantryman who didn’t have a napolean complex. To me it’s not attractive. But short men are fine with me. The sweet man at church I mentioned reminds me of a cute little leprechaun. He’s a very good man and the type of dad any kid could ever pray for. I’m sure he’s a good husband. My husband is a giant compared to me but he’s definetly a gentle giant. I grew up working with horses and thought I would marry a jockey so I obviously like short men. My husband likes tall ladies. We work together though. None of the preferences really matter in the long run. It’s more about the way two souls fit together

 

[Lea101]

Probably does. I truthfully have never met an infantryman who didn’t have a napolean complex. To me it’s not attractive. But short men are fine with me. The sweet man at church I mentioned reminds me of a cute little leprechaun. He’s a very good man and the type of dad any kid could ever pray for. I’m sure he’s a good husband. My husband is a giant compared to me but he’s definetly a gentle giant. I grew up working with horses and thought I would marry a jockey so I obviously like short men. My husband likes tall ladies. We work together though. None of the preferences really matter in the long run. It’s more about the way two souls fit together

They don’t matter in the long run, but attraction to someone’s physical appearance imo is the first “spark”. Then the personality is what sustains it

 

[SilverShadow22]

They don’t matter in the long run, but attraction to someone’s physical appearance imo is the first “spark”. Then the personality is what sustains it

Actually, the Potential Suitor and I did it the other way about

 

[SilverShadow22]

I won’t say looks don’t matter to me; at some point, in some way, they matter to everyone but the blind.

But I never spent time formatting a narrow criteria. I was and am quite capable of finding a rather broad range of male types at least theoretically attractive. But it doesn’t click over to actual attraction without a deep emotional connection.

Which is how Brad Pitt (or other applicable celebrity) could walk past me and I’d actually draw away, thinking, “Oh, I guess he’s supposed to be handsome. But why is he HERE?”

Without an emotional context, beauty is just a shell.

 

[Lea101]

I won’t say looks fine matter to me; at some point, in some way, they matter to everyone but the blind.

But I never spent time formatting a narrow criteria. I was and am quite capable of finding a rather broad range of male types at least theoretically attractive. But it doesn’t click over to actual attraction without a deep emotional connection.

Which is how Brad Pitt (or other applicable celebrity) could walk past new and I’d actually draw away, thinking, “Oh, I guess he’s supposed to be handsome. But why is he HERE?”

Without an emotional context, beauty is just a shell.

Yeah I get what you mean, I guess. You can find someone handsome and not be attracted to him, but I guess we are talking about is the general idea of beauty, not strictly attraction?

 

[SilverShadow22]

Yeah I get what you mean, I guess. You can find someone handsome and not be attracted to him, but I guess we are talking about is the general idea of beauty, not strictly attraction?

Well, if we’re talking about how beauty LEADS to attraction… Only if you let it.

To me, off limits is off limits. If someone is taken or otherwise out of reach, no amount of objective attractiveness warrants dwelling on it in such a way as to become emotionally entangled.

I actually evaluated every eligible potential not in a ‘is he hot’ kind of way, but ‘would I find this attractive once there’s an emotional connection’ which for me is fairly broad and focuses more on health and an overall balanced look than particular traits widely considered ‘attractive’.

All things being equal, I could be attracted to any healthy (eligible) male with the rest of the traits I desire.

But once in committed to ONE in particular… Every other man basically ceases to exist - in the sense of disappearing from the realm of possible attraction.

I’m single minded that way - one at a time

 

[Lea101]

Well, if we’re talking about how beauty LEADS to attraction… Only if you let it.

To me, off limits is off limits. If someone is taken or otherwise out of reach, no amount of objective attractiveness warrants dwelling on it in such a way as to become emotionally entangled.

I actually evaluated every eligible potential not in a ‘is he hot’ kind of way, but ‘would I find this attractive once there’s an emotional connection’ which for me is fairly broad and focuses more on health and an overall balanced look than particular traits widely considered ‘attractive’.

All things being equal, I could be attracted to any healthy (eligible) male with the rest of the traits I desire.

But once in committed to ONE in particular… Every other man basically ceases to exist - in the sense of disappearing from the realm of possible attraction.

I’m single minded that way - one at a time

Ohhh

For most of the people I know, they kind go “oh he/she is cute”, if they are lucky enough to talk to the person, then they’ll evaluate whether they are compatible or not.
They cannot seem to ignore the “ugly” part even if the person is amazing in every other aspect (I’m talking about ugly, not plain people)

In fact there was someone who posted recently about how he likes this girl but he think she’s ugly. People like that make me sooo afraid to be in a relationship lol. I don’t want my boyfriend or husband thinking that he could do better. People like that usually leave if a prettier girl shows interest. But again I digress

 

[LethalMouse]

Ohhh

For most of the people I know, they kind go “oh he/she is cute”, if they are lucky enough to talk to the person, then they’ll evaluate whether they are compatible or not.
They cannot seem to ignore the “ugly” part even if the person is amazing in every other aspect (I’m talking about ugly, not plain people)

In fact there was someone who posted recently about how he likes this girl but he think she’s ugly. People like that make me sooo afraid to be in a relationship lol. I don’t want my boyfriend or husband thinking that he could do better. People like that usually leave if a prettier girl shows interest. But again I digress

There is always someone “better” at any ONE thing.

There is always the chance that man or woman can aquire the person “better” at that thing.

It is all total person concept.

If you meet a wonderful, handsome and wealthy man.

I can guarantee that somewhere there is some guy who has more money who would date you, some guy who looks better, and some guy who seems nicer or deeper or smarter.

But it will be a serious non guarantee that there is anyone who will outshine him in all the categories, and when you have lept for what is “better” now note. The gjy you left will have that thing that is better than the new one

Same logic applies to him with you. There is some girl better at any one thing about you, but there is one thing about you that is better than her

And hey, Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie.

I think Jennifer Anniston is way more attractive

Who knows why people do what they do.

 

[pensmama87]

Ohhh

For most of the people I know, they kind go “oh he/she is cute”, if they are lucky enough to talk to the person, then they’ll evaluate whether they are compatible or not.
They cannot seem to ignore the “ugly” part even if the person is amazing in every other aspect (I’m talking about ugly, not plain people)

In fact there was someone who posted recently about how he likes this girl but he think she’s ugly. People like that make me sooo afraid to be in a relationship lol. I don’t want my boyfriend or husband thinking that he could do better. People like that usually leave if a prettier girl shows interest. But again I digress

I think some of this is a reflection of your age and your peers. A lot will change in 10-15 years. A few won’t grow up - some never do - but many will.

 

[Bill_Martin]

I have a very close friend whom I considered average, maybe even below average in the looks department when I met her. After getting to know her, and discovering her awesome personality, I became much more attracted to her, to the point where I consider her extremely beautiful.

 

[SilverShadow22]

I think the best way is just to have a range, with leeway on the edges. If someone is in your range of attraction, or close enough, give everyone an equal chance until who they are tilts the scales either for or against them.

If we go after the MOST (handsome, beautiful) guy/girl of our particular group… Once we’re exposed to a different group, there’s a new top target. This is the behavior of those who trade in their spouses for a younger or hotter version of the same type.

I think you need to have a broad range of attraction that isn’t hard and fast, not have too many definitions, and let attraction have just as much to do with the totality of the person as any specifics of the outside.

And then, just try to be decent human beings and the rest will work itself out.

 

[AbideWithMe]

If we go after the MOST (handsome, beautiful) guy/girl of our particular group… Once we’re exposed to a different group, there’s a new top target. This is the behavior of those who trade in their spouses for a younger or hotter version of the same type.

And then it becomes clear that people who do that are not lovers, they’re consumers. Or else very insecure seventh graders.

 

[SilverShadow22]

And then it becomes clear that people who do that are not lovers, they’re consumers. Or else very insecure seventh graders.

Well, yes.

So I meant you basically need ‘good enough’ (take those words separately and they won’t sound so dismissive) in the sense of what you want/accept, and everyone needs to realize that pretty much no one can have the ‘best’ of any particular class of… Anything.

After all, there is, strictly speaking, only one ‘best’ of anything, which means only one person can have it…

I think when we stop believing we deserve the ‘best’ of whatever we’re seeking, it’s easier to be satisfied, and therefore, happy.
You are my ‘good’; therefore I want you.
You are ‘enough’; therefore I do not seek more.

Therefore, you are good enough.