Ex Husband is a Baptist Preacher to marry a Catholic Woman

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No double standard. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear, the one who committed adultery isn’t allowed to remarry. It clearly states in the New Testament that whoever commits adultery, and remarries causes that person to sin also.
Even if your interpretation is correct (which I am not conceding), I still don’t see how this is a concern of yours. You divorced your husband, you moved on and remarried. How is this a concern of yours? Perhaps he is sinning, even if that is the case, did God appoint you to be his judge?
 
Every time I think that I can forgive him, he does something else or he lets her influence him a negative way with our kids and then “forgiveness” just seems to fly out the window. But you are right, I know that somehow, some way and someday I have got to find a way to forgive him.
I think perhaps participating in the nullity process might be a good way for you to find the means to do that. It’s going to require a lot of reflection and introspection from both of you.
 
Every time I think that I can forgive him, he does something else or he lets her influence him a negative way with our kids and then “forgiveness” just seems to fly out the window. But you are right, I know that somehow, some way and someday I have got to find a way to forgive him.
Then you are doing what God wants us to do and he will make that way. Here is one hard thing that will help - pray for him and her.
 
Even if your interpretation is correct (which I am not conceding), I still don’t see how this is a concern of yours. You divorced your husband, you moved on and remarried. How is this a concern of yours?
If they have kids, especially minor children, their lives are still intertwined. In that case she certainly has every right to be concerned about her ex’s remarriage, especially if the new woman has caused problems in her family.
 
jlaw,

I am certain that the catholic annulment process must be very confusing to you.

First, let me offer you my sympathies and prayers regarding your first husbands awful betrayal. I have been there. I know the devastating feelings.

Secondly, as many have said, no matter what the catholic church rules in the annulment process, your children would never be termed ‘illegitimate’. God creates no ‘illegitimate’ children. That is an ugly human term.

If I could offer any advice (having lived through infidelity) it would be to seek acceptance of the situation. Your husband treated you awfully. It had NOTHING to do with you. It was his inadequacies, his weaknesses and his disloyalty that led to HIS betrayal. You are a victim. You can be a survivor.

Don’t let him continue to cause you pain.

God bless you.
I guess you are right, everytime I remember the hurt, I re-live the pain. I have got to find a way to put it behind me. I am a very sentimental person, I think that’s why this entire issue has been so difficult.
 
Even if your interpretation is correct (which I am not conceding), I still don’t see how this is a concern of yours. You divorced your husband, you moved on and remarried. How is this a concern of yours? Perhaps he is sinning, even if that is the case, did God appoint you to be his judge?
Like I said earlier, I was trying to find out what the process was for an anullment. It’s hard to explain this to someone who hasn’t been through it and unfortunalely because I had kids with the man, we will always have to be in each other’s lives. And no, God did not appoint me to be his judge…he should be thankful…🙂
 
May I encourage you to investigate the annulment process for your own benefit. As others have stated (or tried), it can provide a lot of healing for you. Some additional counseling might be beneficial as well. Your words just seem to carry a lot of feeling for your ex-husband in them (and understandably so). I encourage you to do these things because your new husband deserves a whole wife. I detect that there is still some brokenness hanging around.

May God bless you, your healing, and your new marriage.
 
Even if your interpretation is correct (which I am not conceding), I still don’t see how this is a concern of yours. You divorced your husband, you moved on and remarried. How is this a concern of yours? Perhaps he is sinning, even if that is the case, did God appoint you to be his judge?
I’ve seen this attitude more than once in this short thread. Please, no one is in this womans shoes. Here you accuse her of judging yet you are doing the same to her!🤷

I think a little more charity is due this poor woman.
 
to the OP i just wanted to say that you are brave to come here to the Catholic forums and seek info. i will pray that you will be able to forgive and heal. our unforgiveness towards others hurts us more than the other person
my parents annulled their marriage so i know how this affects families
 
I guess you are right, everytime I remember the hurt, I re-live the pain. I have got to find a way to put it behind me. I am a very sentimental person, I think that’s why this entire issue has been so difficult.
It is similar for me. I have found that sometimes, when I remember the hurt, I actually swim in the pain intentionally.

Something that has help me was to train myself that, when those thoughts began to surface, to focus on my life today and my blessings. Reliving the pain brings nothing but misery, why do it?

I know, easier said than done.😉
 
To gain mercy and forgiveness from God, one must be forgiving and merciful. Pray for the Grace of forgiveness-your children will grow, graduate from schools, marry, have children,etc. and you will always be tied to this man-find some way to have peace between you and him.

And, you might want to consider how your present husband feels about your holding on to the pain of your first husband’s infidelity -how can you move forward with your new relationship if you carry around all this baggage from the other one.

You do not have to like your ex or his behavior, but you must strive to love him as a child of God. Pray about this, and try not to bad mouth the ex in front of the children
(not saying that you do)

In forgiving him you will become closer to God .

IMHO
 
to the OP i just wanted to say that you are brave to come here to the Catholic forums and seek info. i will pray that you will be able to forgive and heal. our unforgiveness towards others hurts us more than the other person
my parents annulled their marriage so i know how this affects families
I appreciate your advice and your prayers. I agree with you about unforgiveness, it’s like an open wound that won’t heal. I’m sorry to hear about your parents annullment. Thank you for your concern.
 
To gain mercy and forgiveness from God, one must be forgiving and merciful. Pray for the Grace of forgiveness-your children will grow, graduate from schools, marry, have children,etc. and you will always be tied to this man-find some way to have peace between you and him.

And, you might want to consider how your present husband feels about your holding on to the pain of your first husband’s infidelity -how can you move forward with your new relationship if you carry around all this baggage from the other one.

You do not have to like your ex or his behavior, but you must strive to love him as a child of God. Pray about this, and try not to bad mouth the ex in front of the children
(not saying that you do)

In forgiving him you will become closer to God .

IMHO
Thankfully my kids are young adults now, so they are able to form their own opinions. And yes, I have learned that I have got to get over the hurt from my first marriage in order for my new marriage to grow.

I came on this forum to seek answers to some questions that I have had. I appreciate everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
I appreciate your advice and your prayers. I agree with you about unforgiveness, it’s like an open wound that won’t heal. I’m sorry to hear about your parents annullment. Thank you for your concern.
thank you but to this day i’m grateful for my parent’s annulment. living with them married to each other was horrible. there were many years of pain and heartache but it occurred when i was young, so by the time i married so much healing had taken place. i know many friends who had to deal with 2 parents that can’t stand to be in the same room at their wedding. my parents are very respectful and put it all aside for us. of course that took some time to accomplish. the greatest wedding gift i received was not having to worry about all that.
 
No, I did not get an anullment prior to my marriage. I was faithful in our marriage the entire 21 years, unfortunately he was not. The Bible says that adultery is the only basis for a divorce and you can remarry if your spouse has committed adultery against you. God did not intend for the person who was the victim in the relationship to be totally destroyed or penalized because the spouse chose to ruin the marriage. I am not Catholic, I am Baptist.
Where in the bible does it say that you can remarry? It doesn’t.

An annullment says that the marriage wasn’t valid in the first place. If you think it was valid, why did you remarry?
 
And no, God did not appoint me to be his judge…he should be thankful…🙂
:rotfl: Having an ex who was an utter jerk to my kids and me, yes, he should indeed be thankful.

I hope if he does decide to go through the process, you will fill out the paperwork. And no matter what hogwash he lays on you, he can’t do anything to your kids through a decree of nullity. You just tell him you’ve been to Catholic Answers, and you know better.👍
 
No, I did not get an anullment prior to my marriage. I was faithful in our marriage the entire 21 years, unfortunately he was not. The Bible says that adultery is the only basis for a divorce and you can remarry if your spouse has committed adultery against you. God did not intend for the person who was the victim in the relationship to be totally destroyed or penalized because the spouse chose to ruin the marriage. I am not Catholic, I am Baptist.
Where in the bible does it say that you can remarry if your spouse committed adultery? It doesn’t.

An annullment says that the marriage wasn’t valid in the first place. If you think it was valid, why did you remarry?
 
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