Finally told my parents I'm going to Catholic Mass

[Chiefsinner]

I envy you cradle Catholics born into the faith…

I don’t think there is any difference between cradle catholic and converts. Its the faithful catholic that matters the most

There are so many cradle catholic who know nothing about their faith and end up leaving the church.

Welcome

 

[JRKH]

I don’t think there is any difference between cradle catholic and converts. Its the faithful catholic that matters the most

There are so many cradle catholic who know nothing about their faith and end up leaving the church.

Welcome

This is so very true…Personally I am so grateful for the converts in the Church.
They are here because they have chosen to be rather than having been “born into it”.
Plus - they bring a vibrancy that can be lacking in those of us who have only known the “Catholic way”.
The Church is so much richer for such converts.

Peace
James

 

[Chiefsinner]

This is so very true…Personally I am so grateful for the converts in the Church.
They are here because they have chosen to be rather than having been “born into it”.
Plus - they bring a vibrancy that can be lacking in those of us who have only known the “Catholic way”.
The Church is so much richer for such converts.

Peace
James

Same I agree with your post they certainly bring Vibrancy and I love reading stories of converts either read their stories ( coming home network - chnetwork.org/‎) or watch them on YouTube ( Journey home)

They are wonderful

 

[Peter_J]

My mom is still crying every day.

I just don’t understand why she’s taking it so personally.

I’m starting to doubt whether I did the right thing in telling my parents. I hope and pray that the emotional wounds will heal over time.

Not sure why I feel so adamant about converting to the Catholic Church even in face of family opposition. My excuse is I want to follow Christ, but if I were truly zealous, I would not sin as much as I do or give in to temptation. I just wish I had certainty that my intent was right before God in telling them…

Perhaps I should have prayed more and wait for God’s timing instead of negligently deciding to drop the bomb. I figured sooner the better…

Holy Spirit, please change their hearts and grant them understanding that my faith must be nourished through the Church.

It’s hard to know without having been there for the conversation. However, one thing at least seems clear: that you mother places far too much emphasis on our differences. Possibly she has never listened to anyone emphasize our similarities.

One thing I was going post here the other day, but then forgot, was that Billy Graham has always had a pretty positive view of Catholics (or at least that what I’ve heard, I’m certainly no expert on him). Do you know whether your mother if a fan of his?

 

[iepuras]

My mom is still crying every day.

I just don’t understand why she’s taking it so personally.

I’m starting to doubt whether I did the right thing in telling my parents. I hope and pray that the emotional wounds will heal over time.

Not sure why I feel so adamant about converting to the Catholic Church even in face of family opposition. My excuse is I want to follow Christ, but if I were truly zealous, I would not sin as much as I do or give in to temptation. I just wish I had certainty that my intent was right before God in telling them…

Perhaps I should have prayed more and wait for God’s timing instead of negligently deciding to drop the bomb. I figured sooner the better…

Holy Spirit, please change their hearts and grant them understanding that my faith must be nourished through the Church.

I am so sorry your mother is laying on the emotional blackmail big time. Her reaction and any breakdowns are her issues, not yours. It gets better with time. It is not your job to make her happy.

My parents completely flipped out when I told them that we were leaving the LDS church. They were shocked and sad. My mother probably did (and still does) have many days where she cried and wondered where she went wrong. I give her a lot of credit for not engaging in too much emotional blackmail. I know that she has put a lot of blame on herself, and I have told her she has done absolutely nothing wrong. She may not believe me now, but I hope she does someday. Your mother may be blaming herself for “not doing enough” or “doing something wrong”.

I’m not telling you that you need to do the same thing I did, but for me, I had to leave my former faith because of my search for truth and the True God. That search led me to leave the LDS church and begin my journey into the Catholic Church. I would be lying to myself and God if I didn’t go down this path. I certainly haven’t stopped sinning, but I am on a journey to become more holy.

You know your mother best so do what you know to be right. I don’t know your mother nor your relationship with her so what I have to say may not be completely applicable.

I encourage you to stand strong and do what you believe is right. Will it be easy? No. Will your relationship with your mother be the same? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

 

[Peter_J]

My other question is: if I have a desire to be Catholic but cannot because my mother will suffer emotional and physical breakdown if I do, can I decide to convert after my parents have passed? Is that presumption and inconstancy or some other sin of lack of faith and following Christ? Can I still be saved if I have a desire but cannot fulfill full conversion due to this circumstance?

Honestly, I wouldn’t even try to decide whether you are going to wait until your parents are no longer living. I think you should instead ask yourself “Should I convert right away, or should I wait a while?”

Having said that, I think you should also keep in mind the limitations of web-discussion forums. That’s not by any means intended to invalidate the advice that I or others have/will give you here, but just to keep it in perspective.

 

[steve_b]

My mom is still crying every day.

I just don’t understand why she’s taking it so personally.

I’m starting to doubt whether I did the right thing in telling my parents. I hope and pray that the emotional wounds will heal over time.

Not sure why I feel so adamant about converting to the Catholic Church even in face of family opposition. My excuse is I want to follow Christ, but if I were truly zealous, I would not sin as much as I do or give in to temptation. I just wish I had certainty that my intent was right before God in telling them…

Perhaps I should have prayed more and wait for God’s timing instead of negligently deciding to drop the bomb. I figured sooner the better…

Holy Spirit, please change their hearts and grant them understanding that my faith must be nourished through the Church.

I have always felt that what you describe is what I felt was the meaning behind Jesus statement Luke 14:26

No thing or no body (including our closest family and friends) is to get in our way of truly uniting with Our Lord on His terms not ours.

 

[EIF5A]

I have always felt that what you describe is what I felt was the meaning behind Jesus statement Luke 14:26

No thing or no body (including our closest family and friends) is to get in our way of truly uniting with Our Lord on His terms not ours.

I’d rather get disowned and make a clean break. But for some reason, my mother seems to put me above God, because she looks to me as her only hope for living.

This is wrong. God is above all else, anything else, anyone else. Also, it’s a tremendous burden.

But if I continue on this path, she will have a psychological and physical breakdown. I’ll be responsible for it.

My desire is an angel appear in her dream to tell her to let me go on the path Jesus has set before me…but things don’t really work the way I want it to.

She just doesn’t understand why I need to break with the “family religion” if Catholicism believes the same essential things. If I tell her I believe Catholicism is right and her Protestant church is in error, she’ll take that as my rejecting her decades of faith and the faith I grew up in.

I know where I should go…but I’m prevented from going there.

I’ll try to talk to the parish priest. I’m just not sure how to approach them because I’m not even Catholic and part of their Church.

 

[JRKH]

…

I’ll try to talk to the parish priest. I’m just not sure how to approach them because I’m not even Catholic and part of their Church.

Just give the parish office a call and ask for an appointment…Then just tell him what you have told us…

Peace
James

 

[jmcrae]

My parents are sola scriptura Protestants of the evangelical persuasion.

Today, I told them I’ve been attending Catholic Mass since July and that I believe the Catholic Church is the Church established by Christ Himself.

In response, I was told:

• The Catholic Church started off right but is now heretical.
• Mary is worshipped.
• The Catholic Church changed the Ten Commandments.
• The Catholic Church added books to the Bible.
• The Pope claims to be Christ’s representative.
• Nothing outside of Scripture should be believed. (Good thing I didn’t mention private revelations.)
• That the Real Presence of the Eucharist is just a matter of faith, so whether or not they believed that in the beginning is not relevant.
• God gave us freedom after resurrection of Christ, so no need to “nitpick” on details.
• All you need to do is belief in Jesus to be saved, so why am I complicating things?
• And finally, that I’m disturbing the peace of the family by not following the church that I grew up with and that I’m causing my mother grief.
• (Plus other things I can’t remember at the moment…they brought up the 15-7th century corruption of the Church (e.g., indulgences) and the Inquisition and killing of heretics…which I stated that impeccability is not infallibility as guided by the Holy Spirit)

I tried my best to counter all the arguments, as I’ve heard most of these before, but they don’t seem to listen (or want to listen). They are convinced they are right. They asked me why I decided to convert and told them I felt led by the Holy Spirit after reading written accounts and inspired writings. They balked that the Holy Spirit would cause disturbance within the family.

They forbade me from going to Church/Mass. (I don’t live with them — only visiting for the week, so in practice, they can’t really forbid me.)

On the one hand, I have to follow what I believe to be the Church established by Christ. On the other hand, my parents are getting old and not of the best health — I feel bad causing grief and pain. They seem to take this very personally. I was close to telling them I have to follow Jesus even at the expense of parents (per Jesus’ commandment), but I refrained as I thought they would break out in tears and be broken.

Please pray for me that I remain constant in my faith and that one day, they may open their eyes and accept the faith of the Church. I tried to explain to them that I find fuller richness of truth in the Catholic Church from the unbroken 2000 year lineage. But then we’re back to the “They were right in the beginning, but they are corrupt and heretical now” spiel.

I envy you cradle Catholics born into the faith…

My only advice would be, don’t get into debates with your parents. This doesn’t mean that you stop going to Mass, even if you happen to be at their home when it’s time to go to Mass, but you don’t stop and argue with them about it. You just go.

Equally, you don’t stop believing what the Church teaches, but you don’t argue with your parents about it; you just believe it.

As their child, it is not your role to catechize your parents. You can certainly invite them to sit in on RCIA classes, if they express an interest, but other than that,show them respect, and stick to subjects of mutual interest.

 

[Peter_J]

She just doesn’t understand why I need to break with the “family religion” if Catholicism believes the same essential things.

Yeah, it can take people some time to find their way in between the two extremes of overemphasizing and underemphasizing our similarities.

 

[steve_b]

I’d rather get disowned and make a clean break. But for some reason, my mother seems to put me above God, because she looks to me as her only hope for living.

This is wrong. God is above all else, anything else, anyone else. Also, it’s a tremendous burden.

But if I continue on this path, she will have a psychological and physical breakdown. I’ll be responsible for it.

My desire is an angel appear in her dream to tell her to let me go on the path Jesus has set before me…but things don’t really work the way I want it to.

She just doesn’t understand why I need to break with the “family religion” if Catholicism believes the same essential things. If I tell her I believe Catholicism is right and her Protestant church is in error, she’ll take that as my rejecting her decades of faith and the faith I grew up in.

I know where I should go…but I’m prevented from going there.

I’ll try to talk to the parish priest. I’m just not sure how to approach them because I’m not even Catholic and part of their Church.

What Protestant group does she belong to? name / denomination? If the door is really open for you to talk about this, run your thoughts by people here and talk about the objections you get.

You might help your mom greatly?

 

[Jon_S_1]

I’d rather get disowned and make a clean break. But for some reason, my mother seems to put me above God, because she looks to me as her only hope for living.

This is wrong. God is above all else, anything else, anyone else. Also, it’s a tremendous burden.

But if I continue on this path, she will have a psychological and physical breakdown. I’ll be responsible for it.

My desire is an angel appear in her dream to tell her to let me go on the path Jesus has set before me…but things don’t really work the way I want it to.

She just doesn’t understand why I need to break with the “family religion” if Catholicism believes the same essential things. If I tell her I believe Catholicism is right and her Protestant church is in error, she’ll take that as my rejecting her decades of faith and the faith I grew up in.

I know where I should go…but I’m prevented from going there.

I’ll try to talk to the parish priest. I’m just not sure how to approach them because I’m not even Catholic and part of their Church.

It may seem like you are the cause of her upset. But please do not beat yourself up. Your mother has control over herself and it is her choice to feel and act this way. I would not doubt if she is overreacting in hopes of manipulating you back ( I’m not discounting that she is truly hurt, but the way she chooses to display it is in question IMO) you can’t take in other peoples emotions as hrs as it is. You’ve done nothing wrong and should not feel overly burdened by this. Don’t let the enemy take hold that way.

If your parents are typical baptist/evangelical types…

Sit down with your mom, look her in the eye and tell her that you have asked Jesus into your heart to be your Lord and Savior, that you believe he died on the cross for your sins, that he is God, and that all you do is in pursuit of him. Tell her the Catholic Faith is the way you have found to truly put your Faith in action and live for Christ.

Thank her for the Christian upbringing they sent you out on and let her know this is not a change of path, but a continuation of the path they helped lay for you by giving you a heart for Christ.

Set all the apologetics aside, and have a heart to heart like this to ease her soul.

She should have no complaints if you assure her this is where your heart lies.

Don’t let them derail you into worshiping Mary type of questions. Tell her this conversation is purely about sharing my heart for Christ with you and rejoicing in our essential core beliefs that we hold in common.

What else could a good evangelical ask for ?

 

[Jon_S_1]

OP

Can I ask how old you are?

Also, you may need to remind her that at some point her ancestors broke with “the family faith” probably multiple times.

 

[Edmundus1581]

If your parents are typical baptist/evangelical types…

Sit down with your mom, look her in the eye and tell her that you have asked Jesus into your heart to be your Lord and Savior, that you believe he died on the cross for your sins, that he is God, and that all you do is in pursuit of him. Tell her the Catholic Faith is the way you have found to truly put your Faith in action and live for Christ.

Thank her for the Christian upbringing they sent you out on and let her know this is not a change of path, but a continuation of the path they helped lay for you by giving you a heart for Christ.

Set all the apologetics aside, and have a heart to heart like this to ease her soul.

She should have no complaints if you assure her this is where your heart lies.

Don’t let them derail you into worshiping Mary type of questions. Tell her this conversation is purely about sharing my heart for Christ with you and rejoicing in our essential core beliefs that we hold in common.

What else could a good evangelical ask for ?

 

[Porknpie]

I’d rather get disowned and make a clean break. But for some reason, my mother seems to put me above God, because she looks to me as her only hope for living.

This is wrong. God is above all else, anything else, anyone else. Also, it’s a tremendous burden.

But if I continue on this path, she will have a psychological and physical breakdown. I’ll be responsible for it.

My desire is an angel appear in her dream to tell her to let me go on the path Jesus has set before me…but things don’t really work the way I want it to.

She just doesn’t understand why I need to break with the “family religion” if Catholicism believes the same essential things. If I tell her I believe Catholicism is right and her Protestant church is in error, she’ll take that as my rejecting her decades of faith and the faith I grew up in.

I know where I should go…but I’m prevented from going there.

I’ll try to talk to the parish priest. I’m just not sure how to approach them because I’m not even Catholic and part of their Church.

I would encourage you to continue your journey. The joy that you will have in receiving Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, knowing that he is truly present and instituted the sacrament to give you grace, will outshine all the darkness with your mother. The same is true with receiving the sacrament of reconciliation. You will know great peace in knowing the Jesus Christ himself, through the Priest absolves you of your sins. My sense is that in time, her emotions will settle down as she gains acceptance that you are being moved by the Holy Spirit and your conscious.

Have confidence that Great Peace and Joy Await.

PnP

 

[philv]

My parents are sola scriptura Protestants of the evangelical persuasion.

Today, I told them I’ve been attending Catholic Mass since July and that I believe the Catholic Church is the Church established by Christ Himself.

In response, I was told:

• The Catholic Church started off right but is now heretical.
• Mary is worshipped.
• The Catholic Church changed the Ten Commandments.
• The Catholic Church added books to the Bible.
• The Pope claims to be Christ’s representative.
• Nothing outside of Scripture should be believed. (Good thing I didn’t mention private revelations.)
• That the Real Presence of the Eucharist is just a matter of faith, so whether or not they believed that in the beginning is not relevant.
• God gave us freedom after resurrection of Christ, so no need to “nitpick” on details.
• All you need to do is belief in Jesus to be saved, so why am I complicating things?
• And finally, that I’m disturbing the peace of the family by not following the church that I grew up with and that I’m causing my mother grief.
• (Plus other things I can’t remember at the moment…they brought up the 15-7th century corruption of the Church (e.g., indulgences) and the Inquisition and killing of heretics…which I stated that impeccability is not infallibility as guided by the Holy Spirit)

I tried my best to counter all the arguments, as I’ve heard most of these before, but they don’t seem to listen (or want to listen). They are convinced they are right. They asked me why I decided to convert and told them I felt led by the Holy Spirit after reading written accounts and inspired writings. They balked that the Holy Spirit would cause disturbance within the family.

They forbade me from going to Church/Mass. (I don’t live with them — only visiting for the week, so in practice, they can’t really forbid me.)

On the one hand, I have to follow what I believe to be the Church established by Christ. On the other hand, my parents are getting old and not of the best health — I feel bad causing grief and pain. They seem to take this very personally. I was close to telling them I have to follow Jesus even at the expense of parents (per Jesus’ commandment), but I refrained as I thought they would break out in tears and be broken.

Please pray for me that I remain constant in my faith and that one day, they may open their eyes and accept the faith of the Church. I tried to explain to them that I find fuller richness of truth in the Catholic Church from the unbroken 2000 year lineage. But then we’re back to the “They were right in the beginning, but they are corrupt and heretical now” spiel.

I envy you cradle Catholics born into the faith…

You’re not alone - I was in the same boat and was a convert from the Seventh-Day Adventist church. It’s that step of faith Christ wants from us. What I had to do was unlearn to learn, and now it’s teaching opportunities that I can give to Protestant friends. You’ll learn more about church history and can use that to counter all Protestant arguments. One said: if one learns their church history, he or she ceases to be Protestant. That was true in my case. But overall, it’s still about love that changes hearts.

By the way, Christ said the Gates of Hades will never prevail against his church. So to say the church fell is a lie from the devil himself. It’s still here 2000 years and counting Praise God!

 

[EIF5A]

I had been mulling over for several days about what it means to follow Christ in this particular case.

I agreed to attend my former church, but I’m still going to Catholic Mass (the latter part my parents don’t know about — I just simply agreed to attend the previous church, not to abandon Mass.)

There will be no partaking of communion in either case (although I really can’t get excommunicated from the Church I never joined in the first place), as it seems right to acknowledge that there is true Sacrament and one that is a shadow of it.

I pray for their conversion, but they are really, really, really stubborn. God help them.

Previously, I mentioned talking to a Protestant pastor. It was his belief that all Christian traditions are valid (except for the “obvious” heretical churches) and that no tradition is the truth and more right than another. Personally, I think one tradition has to be at least closer to the fullness of truth than another…otherwise, everything is just relative. Of course, in terms of salvation, we cannot delineate God’s mercy and judgment.

He stated that the Roman Catholic Church, as it is now, formed really during the 12th century and that the Marian dogmas are problematic in his point of view, and that Scott Hahn doesn’t really attempt to defend them but only acknowledges that they are teachings of the Church.

What drew me to the Catholic Church was not theology. It had always been how to live a life closer to what God desires of all humanity, because in the end, our limited knowledge will not save us.

Maybe circumstances will change later, and I’ll just take the plunge to join officially, but as of now, things are a bit more complicated. My fear is that I’ll die before absolution of my sins or partaking of the Eucharist that gives life. At this point, I can only pray and hope for God’s mercy.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

Just to be a pest: Is the belief that “no tradition is more true than another” more true than another?

Why would he suggest a belated formation of Roman Catholicism if all traditions are equally true (or untrue)? It sounds as though he was trying to reduce your perception of the Church’s reliability by putting a late date on it; wouldn’t that make his church even less reliable, since it came even later? What Christian tradition would he accept as dating all the way back to the first century, if he believes that Catholicism does not? And if such a tradition exists, how could it not be “more true” than a Christian tradition that formed within the past few centuries?

 

[EIF5A]

I think he subscribes to some variation of sola scriptura, so whatever is not explicitly or implicitly recorded in Scripture is a doctrinal innovation (e.g., Immaculate Conception of Mary). He claims Scripture says brothers/sisters because there’s a separate word for cousin/relative that could have been used but wasn’t.