Y
YinYangMom
Guest
oh, ok. Sorry I misunderstood.
- Status
J
johntkd
Guest
No problem i even clarified with that edit button in my post but i type much slower than you do lol
A
AngelRose81
Guest
Please, Please, Please, don’t leave the Church. Can you cut down on some of your commitments (other than Sunday Mass & Holy Days of course!) so that you can spend more time with your Mom??
My feeling is that Satan is tryint to tear you away from the Church…please don’t give into him!!!
Please reconsider!! I’ll be praying for you!!
My feeling is that Satan is tryint to tear you away from the Church…please don’t give into him!!!
Please reconsider!! I’ll be praying for you!!
K
kage_ar
Guest
Edited my above post, I though I had been clear - my response was to the person who claims to love family more than God, not to the OP.
L
LilyM
Guest
No - God is in his creatures only to a limited extent, the higher good is in following his will rather than being overly attached to any creature, even your children.
Do you think Jesus wasn’t attached to his mother? Do you think her heart wasn’t broken when he was crucified? But if he’d put concern for her above his obedience to God then the good his death did in terms of saving all of us would have been lost. No-one, including Mary, would have made it to heaven, which would be worse for her than the temporary pain she went through during the crucifixion.
Look, God isn’t really cruel, neither does he demand the literally impossible of us, but he does ask us to recognise where all the good in our lives TRULY comes from, and it isn’t the people around us.
J
johntkd
Guest
Kind of a strange post isnt it,Jesus did everything for his “Father”
including let himself be captured, tortured, and killed,And in turn God ( his Father) gave him all them powers, gave him ever lasting life, etc etc, yet we are supposed to be denied the same things they did themselves,and further yet according to what some believe here because of our feelings towards our kids and mate we will rot in hell, hmmmm makes me wonder if i really want a trip to heaven in the first place, starting to sound like a not so nice place really, I dont know anyone in heaven never talked to anyone in heaven so have no clue what its about factually only can go by what people say they THINK it is,
I will have to put this into some perspective.
If we do not put God first and our families last we rot in hell.
( yep I am loved)
if we dont go to church every sunday we also get to rot in hell because some man made sin ( yep thats true love as well)
He came down by scripture to tear apart families???
how is that love for us? seriously
is there not anything that hurts more than your family coming apart and yet thats what he came to do?
and we follow this line of thinking why???
I am very seriously confused now
this is what everyone wants to be a part of causing havoc, confusion, and removing love? something is not right in denmarc here…
Maybe we are just cattle for a higher life form as was put to me one time its sounding more and more like it… dang now i am letting you guys make me question my faith grrrrrrr
C
chevalier
Guest
Do not leave the Church just because someone tells you to. Does your mother want all your time so much that she won’t have you go to mass on Sunday? Or do you feel you can’t stay in the Church if you don’t get involved in some ministries or apostolates? A mass a week and some prayer time every day is not any amount of time that could not be set aside even by a very, very occupied person. The only possibility of that would be if your mother wanted your whole time. And I don’t think you could put up with that, could you? Don’t leave the Church just because you may not be able to spend more time on Church-related activities than Sunday mass itself.
And if your mother doesn’t mean the time alone, she shouldn’t be citing it as the reason. That’s not honest with you. Don’t give in to anything you feel she’s doing wrong, anyway. Remember her demands are unreasonable, your own desires are different, and it’s your salvation we’re talking about, and your spiritual life.
And if your mother doesn’t mean the time alone, she shouldn’t be citing it as the reason. That’s not honest with you. Don’t give in to anything you feel she’s doing wrong, anyway. Remember her demands are unreasonable, your own desires are different, and it’s your salvation we’re talking about, and your spiritual life.
L
LilyM
Guest
Putting God first doesn’t mean ignoring or treading on our families to the extent you seem to think it does. Indeed, 99% of the time loving service to our families and friends is the very thing that God wills us to do. And yes, sometimes that includes martyrdom or a certain amount of sacrifice.
That’s why we’re advising the lady here to make as many concessions as possible to her mother’s wishes.
But if there’s a question of real unresolvable conflict between what God commands of us and what our families and friends wish us to do then there should be no question that the Creator of the universe and everything in it, from whose hand come everything you have, including those families and friends, should come first.
If your family asked you to murder someone in cold blood, throw yourself off a bridge or into a fire would you really do that? Or do you think you owe more than that to the God who made your body and commanded you not to murder?
Well, God commanded us ALSO to spend a minimal amount of time each Sunday and a handful of Holy Days in public worship, and to confess once a year - and a handful of other very easily do-able rules. That’s what we do purely for God alone, because he deserves worship and obedience in his own right. All we’re asking is that she not disobey those commands.
Where is Jesus ever shown sinning - going against God’s commands or will for him and jeopardising his immortal soul -for the sake of his family or friends? Quite the opposite - he *refused *to sin when to do so would have made their lives and his own much easier and smoother.
K
katieq
Guest
Hold tight to the Church…Recieve Eucharist as often as possible. Our Lord will give you strength! God bless you!
L
LeahInancsi
Guest
Thank you for all of your well meaning comments and suggestions. Obviously, I need to do a little more explaining to a few of you.
I’ve put up with her little snide comments for the past year and last night I came to the end of my rope. She doesn’t seem to understand why I should want to spent more than one obligatory hour a week on religion. I’ve been called to make hand knotted twine rosaries to give to those who wish to learn to pray the rosary. Needless to say, it take a good amount of time and effort to make these rosaries. In a fit of feeling sorry for herself, she wanted to know why “I have to spend so much more time on church than other people.” I asked her three times what she wanted me to do, but she said she didn’t know. I offered to give up the Church because that seems to create the most competition for my time.
There’s history behind this Catholic-Protestant issue between us. Her mother’s family was very devout Irish Catholic. When her mother left the Church to marry a Protestant (my grandfather), it caused a fracture in the family. It just so happened to be between my grandmother and her oldest full-brother. This uncle of my grandmother’s was the only aunt or uncle to have children. My mother wasn’t allowed to see her six cousins who lived a short distance away because of the situtation between her mother and their father. She also felt like an outsider in a Catholic family because she was Protestant eventhough all of the other aunts and uncles were very nice and loving toward her.
My mother was not a strong Protestant. I grew up with no formal religion, at all. Catholicism was the only religion I was drawn to because of my family history. Catholicism didn’t make my great uncle mean, he was just a nasty guy. Catholicism was in my grandmother’s blood till the day she died eventhough she didn’t practice it. That’s what made her so wonderful in my mind, her Catholic values. The main attraction of the Church is the opportunity to see my grandmother and mother again in heaven. Everlasting life is secondary.
I’m not afraid of my mother, but she is the only living blood relative I have. I can’t just walk out on her. She cannot live on her own because she is 80 years old. She has made be all the good that I am. My late father contributed nothing, but minimal child support. Also, I’m not married. There’s so much involved that I can’t just walk away.
When my mother is gone, I will come back to the Church. It will be all I’ll have in my life and in the world
:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: serioulsy!
I’ve put up with her little snide comments for the past year and last night I came to the end of my rope. She doesn’t seem to understand why I should want to spent more than one obligatory hour a week on religion. I’ve been called to make hand knotted twine rosaries to give to those who wish to learn to pray the rosary. Needless to say, it take a good amount of time and effort to make these rosaries. In a fit of feeling sorry for herself, she wanted to know why “I have to spend so much more time on church than other people.” I asked her three times what she wanted me to do, but she said she didn’t know. I offered to give up the Church because that seems to create the most competition for my time.
There’s history behind this Catholic-Protestant issue between us. Her mother’s family was very devout Irish Catholic. When her mother left the Church to marry a Protestant (my grandfather), it caused a fracture in the family. It just so happened to be between my grandmother and her oldest full-brother. This uncle of my grandmother’s was the only aunt or uncle to have children. My mother wasn’t allowed to see her six cousins who lived a short distance away because of the situtation between her mother and their father. She also felt like an outsider in a Catholic family because she was Protestant eventhough all of the other aunts and uncles were very nice and loving toward her.
My mother was not a strong Protestant. I grew up with no formal religion, at all. Catholicism was the only religion I was drawn to because of my family history. Catholicism didn’t make my great uncle mean, he was just a nasty guy. Catholicism was in my grandmother’s blood till the day she died eventhough she didn’t practice it. That’s what made her so wonderful in my mind, her Catholic values. The main attraction of the Church is the opportunity to see my grandmother and mother again in heaven. Everlasting life is secondary.
I’m not afraid of my mother, but she is the only living blood relative I have. I can’t just walk out on her. She cannot live on her own because she is 80 years old. She has made be all the good that I am. My late father contributed nothing, but minimal child support. Also, I’m not married. There’s so much involved that I can’t just walk away.
When my mother is gone, I will come back to the Church. It will be all I’ll have in my life and in the world
:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: serioulsy!
P
PatienceAndLove
Guest
Leah-
I am sorry that your mother feels as she does. Perhaps she sees the love of Christ and His Church within you, and envies it.
And you do not spend more time with Church than others. Perhaps you need to give up the rosaries, and just give God your weekly obligations.
Are you not with her when you are making these rosaries? Sit with her while you make these. I have a 2.5 year old, and I make rosaries while she is watching a movie at night to wind down. She knows this as her and my time to just sit and be with one another after a long day. Don’t isolate yourself from her when you are doing “churchly” things. Involve her.
I will pray for you, Lovey.
As for waiting for her to pass on to continue with the Church, you mother could live to be a hundred, or past.
It sounds horrible, I know, but is there a community she could live in so she would be with others her age, and still receive the care she needs? Is there a community you both could move to that would provide this?
Ask St. Helen for her help
http://www.iconarts.com/images/Icon_Gallery/St.Helen.jpg
Although, I might have the Saint wrong.
I am sorry that your mother feels as she does. Perhaps she sees the love of Christ and His Church within you, and envies it.
And you do not spend more time with Church than others. Perhaps you need to give up the rosaries, and just give God your weekly obligations.
Are you not with her when you are making these rosaries? Sit with her while you make these. I have a 2.5 year old, and I make rosaries while she is watching a movie at night to wind down. She knows this as her and my time to just sit and be with one another after a long day. Don’t isolate yourself from her when you are doing “churchly” things. Involve her.
I will pray for you, Lovey.
As for waiting for her to pass on to continue with the Church, you mother could live to be a hundred, or past.
It sounds horrible, I know, but is there a community she could live in so she would be with others her age, and still receive the care she needs? Is there a community you both could move to that would provide this?
Ask St. Helen for her help
http://www.iconarts.com/images/Icon_Gallery/St.Helen.jpg
Although, I might have the Saint wrong.
L
LeahInancsi
Guest
I make rosaries while I’m watching Dallas Mavericks games with her. Other than that, she only watches CNN and QVC. I sit with her watching those shows as much as I can tolerate. It just seems that she prefer that I do nothing with my hands or my mind while I’m watching TV with her
I’ve never been the type of person who can just sit and stare at a TV set. Mostly, I listen and watch about half the time, but I’m always working on something else.
She didn’t mind when I spent most of my time of genealogy. Apparently, that was different because it wasn’t religion.
I’ve never been the type of person who can just sit and stare at a TV set. Mostly, I listen and watch about half the time, but I’m always working on something else.
She didn’t mind when I spent most of my time of genealogy. Apparently, that was different because it wasn’t religion.
P
PatienceAndLove
Guest
Like I said, perhaps she is jealous?I make rosaries while I’m watching Dallas Mavericks games with her. Other than that, she only watches CNN and QVC. I sit with here watching those shows as much as I can tolerate. I just seems that she prefer that I do nothing than having something to do with my hands while I’m watching TV.
I’ve never been the type of person who can just sit and stare at a TV set. Mostly, I listen and watch about half the time, but I’m always working on something else.
She didn’t mind when I spent most of my time of genealogy. Apparently, that was different because it wasn’t religion.
Is there a group for older parishioners at your parish that she could become involved with?
L
LilyM
Guest
I wonder if there’s any way you could get out of the house on your own to do these things without specifically telling your mother that they’re church-related since that particularly seems to be what upsets her.I make rosaries while I’m watching Dallas Mavericks games with her. Other than that, she only watches CNN and QVC. I sit with here watching those shows as much as I can tolerate. I just seems that she prefer that I do nothing than having something to do with my hands while I’m watching TV.
I’ve never been the type of person who can just sit and stare at a TV set. Mostly, I listen and watch about half the time, but I’m always working on something else.
She didn’t mind when I spent most of my time of genealogy. Apparently, that was different because it wasn’t religion.
If it’s stuff you do inside the house, possibly sneak in a bit of time while she’s asleep or something?
Whatever you do, please do still go to Mass of a Sunday and confession when you need it. Do your duties as EMHC take any additional time outside of Mass? Perhaps you can just do them at Mass instead, as your way of still making a contribution to your church community.
L
LilyM
Guest
If she isn’t particularly religious herself then it probably won’t be her cup of tea to hang around with people who are. Especially those of a denomination she isn’t really fond of!
I think that’s kinda the problem, that she sees no point in activities to do with religion.
P
PatienceAndLove
Guest
True. I think I am too sleep deprived at this point to think straight.
I don’t know if there is anything you, Leah, can do to make her happy. But leaving the Church is not going to make you happy.
C
chevalier
Guest
If your mother won’t accept your company because you’re religious, it’s she who deprives herself of you, not you who deprive her of yourself. She has no right to dictate what you believe in. There’s no need for you to stop going to church or cut a mental link with the Church just because you can’t do more than Sunday mass in your current situation. It’s not like membership and Sunday mass is not worth it because you can’t do more. 
Y
YinYangMom
Guest
I understand your devotion to your mother, however, never presume you will outlive anyone on this earth. This is what concerns me most about your reasoning that you can put your Catholicism on hold until a later date.
It is the rosary making which is upsetting your mother. You admit yourself that it requires a time commitment. Though it is odd that doing it in her presence makes no difference to her. Still, as the other poster noted, perhaps it’s just seeing you do something for the church which irritates her.
Please continue to attend Mass once a week and on Holy Days of Obligation, the Eucharist when you attend (if you’re in the right state to recieve), and reconciliation as needed so that you may participate in the Eucharist whenever you are at mass.
Your devotion to your mother demonstrated by the care you offer her and the sacrifice you are making of not giving more of yourself to the church as you would desire will be justly noted and rewarded at the proper hour, however, making a conscious decision to not receive the sacraments and meet your obligations to God through His church because of your is not something I see God as favoring.
Trust in Him to give your mother the peace she will need to be without you one hour a week and an occasional hour or two beyond that. You are His beloved and He wants to sustain you at this trying time. Please turn to him one hour a week so that you may have life and peace within you while you are here.
I
Island_Oak
Guest
…and if your mother made some other obviously irrational request of you–like asking you never to leave the house–would you comply? The answer, I hope, is of course no. You would kindly explain–maybe with some humor and a laugh–‘Oh, mother, I know you don’t really mean to ask me to do something like that,’ and go on with your business. The appropriate response to an irrational request made by an elderly relative is to use your self-restraint, patience and humor, but not to cave to **their **irrationality.
It is not disrespectful to your mother to have a religious commitment to the Catholic faith. She obviously trained you to have a moral conscience, which you find fulfilled through your faith. While I understand religious affiliation has caused some distinct trauma in your family, it is also a part of history which you (and she) should want no part of perpetuating. I think if you sat with her and explained how painful it would be not to practice your faith and asked if she really wanted to bring back all the conflict she saw in her own family years ago over religion, she would deny that was her intent and would accept your reassurance that you are there for her and will always help her.
Best wishes…you are clearly loyal and loving to this woman. Show her you can also be strong in your convictions.
It is not disrespectful to your mother to have a religious commitment to the Catholic faith. She obviously trained you to have a moral conscience, which you find fulfilled through your faith. While I understand religious affiliation has caused some distinct trauma in your family, it is also a part of history which you (and she) should want no part of perpetuating. I think if you sat with her and explained how painful it would be not to practice your faith and asked if she really wanted to bring back all the conflict she saw in her own family years ago over religion, she would deny that was her intent and would accept your reassurance that you are there for her and will always help her.
Best wishes…you are clearly loyal and loving to this woman. Show her you can also be strong in your convictions.
J
jmcrae
Guest
Leah;
My husband has a similar history to that of your mother’s - Catholic relatives who shunned him because his mother was Protestant. His father was excommunicated because he married a Protestant outside the Church. My husband is still very angry about those things.
We don’t discuss religion at home.
This does not prevent me from being an active Catholic, because I don’t see his issues as being my issues. They can have the power to keep him out of the Church, because he allows that, but I will not allow them to keep me out of the Church. I refuse to be bullied by a bunch of people who have been dead for a really long time, now.
As far as I am concerned, my husband is welcome to accompany me to Mass at any time, but his choice not to do so does not prevent me from going by myself. My attitude is, “I’m going to Mass - would you like to come? No? Okay - I’ll see you when I get back.”
My husband has a similar history to that of your mother’s - Catholic relatives who shunned him because his mother was Protestant. His father was excommunicated because he married a Protestant outside the Church. My husband is still very angry about those things.
We don’t discuss religion at home.
This does not prevent me from being an active Catholic, because I don’t see his issues as being my issues. They can have the power to keep him out of the Church, because he allows that, but I will not allow them to keep me out of the Church. I refuse to be bullied by a bunch of people who have been dead for a really long time, now.
As far as I am concerned, my husband is welcome to accompany me to Mass at any time, but his choice not to do so does not prevent me from going by myself. My attitude is, “I’m going to Mass - would you like to come? No? Okay - I’ll see you when I get back.”
- Status