For all married Catholics and single Catholics considering marriage

[TheWarriorMonk]

Here is the thing. Catholics, for whatever reason, are a religious group for whom interfaith marriage is not likely to increase their chances of divorce.

Many factors play into this because “Catholic” includes many (likely a great many) that are non-practicing. I’ll bet that the divorce statistics between lifelong practicing Catholics that outright reject divorce are going to be different from those than the general Catholic population.

If one is serious about their religion, I strongly, strongly recommend marriage within the faith. Marrying someone that is not can create major problems down the road, especially if this non-Catholic/non-practicing-Catholic party believes that divorce is an option.

I am overly sensitive to this issue because my first wife divorced me and couldn’t care less about the consequences because she isn’t Catholic. I had no fault in the divorce, yet bore the full brunt of the consequences of her choice. I will never make that mistake again. I subsequently remarried a practicing Catholic woman that believes we are in it until the end.

Lastly, common sense rules. If we were to ask a faithful, practicing Catholic to write a list of characteristics they would like to see in a spouse, I doubt “not a Catholic” would be at the top of the list.

 

[smallgirl01]

That’s fantastic. However have you talked about religion, or tried to find out which one is more correct than the other? why do you settle with “agree to disagree” on issues as important as religion?

We all have the same book (Bible) so someone is more right than the other, we can’t all be right with completely different interpretations of the same book.

If both your parents studied the same mathematics text book and one of your parents said 2+2=4 and the other said 2+2=5, What would you think of learning mathematics? because even your parents who are apparently educated on mathematics can’t even agree.

Why don’t you look into Catholicism? than you can make an informed decision in which faith is correct or not and be on a united front with your spouse.

If you do wish to look into Catholicism, I strongly recommend reading Scott Hahn’s conversion story. Or discuss issues with others here in which you disagree on, because our faiths are based on the same book, so someone is right and someone is wrong.

God Bless

Thanks for reading
Josh

 

[_Angelino]

Hi all!

I’ve been a long time reader of the forums, but this thread finally convinced me to register so I could share my experience.

**Simply put, mixed marriages can and do work. **

My grandparents were a mixed marriage (my grandfather was actually studying to be a Methodist minister before he met my grandmother). They raised two ethical, decent, and conscientious Catholic children; one of whom was my mother.

I’m in a mixed marriage too (to a Unitarian Universalist ) and we intend to do the same with our children, God willing we have them.

From what I have seen among other mixed marriages and experienced in my own life, the ethics, moral disposition, and personality of the person you marry matters MUCH more in a successful, loving marriage than the particular denomination that person happens to have.

 

[Gidge]

Hi all!

**Simply put, mixed marriages can and do work. **

While I would say that they can work, I think the above is a bit too optimistic.

I married a protestant and she converted after the birth of our first child (Deo gratis).

Married people should have as their primary goal to get their spouse and their family to Heaven.

 

[EasterJoy]

One of the things I’ve discovered (and creeps into many of my posts) is that the vows between Catholics and Protestants are simply not the same vows. Catholics are brought up one way; Protestants are brought up another. They may say the same words at the wedding, but they mean different things to each party. The blatantly obvious one deals with divorce. As I found out, the vows to my ex meant “til death do us part, or until I decide to get a divorce.”

Can these marriages work? Of course, but people tend to get along better when they agree on fundamental issues, such as religion.

The flip side, however, is that with a billion Catholics in the world, you can’t just assume that everyone who’s been baptized (or even confirmed) agrees or even knows about what the Church teaches. Sometimes a non-Catholic is more willing to defer to their spouse’s sense of what it means to be Catholic than another Catholic would be.

You do have to marry someone who understands marriage to be for life. How their parents and extended family have viewed divorce is an indication of that (but only an indication). It is hard to live what you have never seen working up close.

Still, marriage to a non-Catholic (or a non-practicing Catholic) has difficulties, and those shouldn’t be downplayed. It isn’t an insurmountable obstacle, there are a lot of successful interfaith marriages, but the issue usually presents some amount of trial.

 

[_Angelino]

While I would say that they can work, I think the above is a bit too optimistic.

I respectfully disagree. Again, from my own experience, and that of my family and friends who are in inter-faith marriages, they can and do work.

I married a protestant and she converted after the birth of our first child (Deo gratis).

Congrats!

Married people should have as their primary goal to get their spouse and their family to Heaven.

I’m absolutely with you on this one. Which is why I’ll take an ethical, moral unbaptized person that lives their life in a Christ-like manner over a baptized Catholic that does the opposite any day.

 

[Gidge]

I’m absolutely with you on this one. Which is why I’ll take an ethical, moral unbaptized person that lives their life in a Christ-like manner over a baptized Catholic that does the opposite any day.

People can and do change, but I understand what you mean here.

I was courting a woman before I met my wife who was Catholic and I suggested that we say a short prayer for some intention, she got uncomfortable and angry and said something along the lines of “Why don’t you just become a priest ?”
The relationship started going south after this.

Sadly, many are only “cultural” Catholics and do not practice the faith.

 

[eyesopening]

Sadly, many are only “cultural” Catholics and do not practice the faith.

Going along these lines, I would add that many (I didn’t say all) Catholics who consider marrying non-Catholics are probably not deeply immersed in their own faith. I am a Church Organist. I have been working in the Catholic Church for less than a year (since my conversion) and I have played several weddings. ALL of these weddings have been between young Catholic women and non-Catholic men. When I speak to these women during the music consultation I am struck by a total indifference toward the particulars of the Catholic Rite of Marriage. Its really just a stage for their fancy wedding, not a sacrament to them.

As you said, many of these are just “cultural” Catholics (and I know its not just women) but are truly as indifferent to Catholicism as they are any other religion. This is tragic in and of itself, but often a few years go by and (as I see posted over and over on this forum) these people will decide to get back into their faith. They want to go to confession and begin practicing NFP, or they want their children to be taken to mass weekly or whatnot. At this point, their non-Catholic spouse shows a mean side and “feels betrayed” because they were really hoping for a completely non-religious home environment.

I know it works out sometimes, but the Church has a VERY GOOD REASON for Catholics to not marry non-Catholics without a dispensation. Frankly, I think the dispensation is handed out too liberally, but of course, if they didn’t give it, these people would just go marry outside the Church. Simply put, Catholics should not marry non-Catholics. (I’m not saying anyone should split from their non-Catholic spouse.) I don’t understand why a serious Catholic would even date someone who is not Catholic. Say “no” to the first date!! Don’t get involved! Don’t pursue marriage for marriage sake, but wait until God brings the right person into your life.

 

[_Angelino]

People can and do change, but I understand what you mean here.

I was courting a woman before I met my wife who was Catholic and I suggested that we say a short prayer for some intention, she got uncomfortable and angry and said something along the lines of “Why don’t you just become a priest ?”
The relationship started going south after this.

Sadly, many are only “cultural” Catholics and do not practice the faith.

Unfortunately, this is something I often see among friends who were raised Catholic but, because they disagree with with the Church’s stance/actions on a certain issue (treatment of gay people within the Church, the sexual abuse scandal, role of women, etc.) they extend those feelings onto all things religious. In my mind, I don’t see why a discomfort or disagreement with one facet of the faith would ever justify scrubbing one’s life of religion altogether.

Conversely, and related to the topic of this thread, one of the things that I admire most about my wife is that she started her life with no religion whatsoever (her parents, one Jewish and the other Protestant, fell into the category of “let the child decide when he/she grows up”) but still found her faith later in life. That she was able to not only sense, but respond to God’s call (in the best way she knew how), surrounded by both a secular culture and family is, in my opinion, truly admirable. Had our roles in life been reversed, I am not sure I could have been able to do the same.

In the interest of full disclosure, however, I admit that prayer together is one of the aspects of our marriage that has taken some work. Firstly, there is our difference in belief regarding the Trinity and the divinity of Christ. Moreover, her faith doesn’t have a strong tradition of spoken prayer, let alone “set” prayers like the Lords Prayer or Hail Mary. We deal with this in two ways: First, we set time aside to pray together silently. Second, when we do pray together aloud, we pray in the form of our common understanding of God. For example, one of our favorite prayers is the wedding night prayer in Tobit 8:4b-9 (which was also the Old Testament reading at our wedding ).

 

[EasterJoy]

Going along these lines, I would add that many (I didn’t say all) Catholics who consider marrying non-Catholics are probably not deeply immersed in their own faith. I am a Church Organist. I have been working in the Catholic Church for less than a year (since my conversion) and I have played several weddings. ALL of these weddings have been between young Catholic women and non-Catholic men. When I speak to these women during the music consultation I am struck by a total indifference toward the particulars of the Catholic Rite of Marriage. Its really just a stage for their fancy wedding, not a sacrament to them.

As you said, many of these are just “cultural” Catholics (and I know its not just women) but are truly as indifferent to Catholicism as they are any other religion. This is tragic in and of itself, but often a few years go by and (as I see posted over and over on this forum) these people will decide to get back into their faith. They want to go to confession and begin practicing NFP, or they want their children to be taken to mass weekly or whatnot. At this point, their non-Catholic spouse shows a mean side and “feels betrayed” because they were really hoping for a completely non-religious home environment.

I know it works out sometimes, but the Church has a VERY GOOD REASON for Catholics to not marry non-Catholics without a dispensation. Frankly, I think the dispensation is handed out too liberally, but of course, if they didn’t give it, these people would just go marry outside the Church. Simply put, Catholics should not marry non-Catholics. (I’m not saying anyone should split from their non-Catholic spouse.) I don’t understand why a serious Catholic would even date someone who is not Catholic. Say “no” to the first date!! Don’t get involved! Don’t pursue marriage for marriage sake, but wait until God brings the right person into your life.

Years of looking for Catholic men made me more willing to consider someone who was more supportive of the practice of my faith than they were. Just sayin’.

 

[eyesopening]

Years of looking for Catholic men made me more willing to consider someone who was more supportive of the practice of my faith than they were. Just sayin’.

I can certainly understand. We’re in a sad situation these days. It is harder and harder to find faithful Catholics, especially for a spouse. That being said, the rule about Catholics not marrying outside the faith is a good rule.

 

[EasterJoy]

I can certainly understand. We’re in a sad situation these days. It is harder and harder to find faithful Catholics, especially for a spouse. That being said, the rule about Catholics not marrying outside the faith is a good rule.

Let us put it this way: The priority ought to be on finding someone who will make it as easy as possible for you to live the faith and rear your children in the faith. Although a non-Catholic can (and in several cases I know does) serve as a guardian of a faith he does not have himself, the proper co-guardian of a Catholic’s family and faith life is normally going to be another Catholic, yes. The dispensation exists because there are exceptions, but exceptions that prove the rule: that is, the normal state is and ought to be that Catholics ought to seek to marry other Catholics, yes, with exceptions being made when the reasons a Catholic is to be preferred are satisfied. That is the idea behind granting dispensations.

 

[eyesopening]

Let us put it this way: The priority ought to be on finding someone who will make it as easy as possible for you to live the faith and rear your children in the faith. Although a non-Catholic can (and in several cases I know does) serve as a guardian of a faith he does not have himself, the proper co-guardian of a Catholic’s family and faith life is normally going to be another Catholic, yes. The dispensation exists because there are exceptions, but exceptions that prove the rule: that is, the normal state is and ought to be that Catholics ought to seek to marry other Catholics, yes, with exceptions being made when the reasons a Catholic is to be preferred are satisfied. That is the idea behind granting dispensations.

Oh of course! I absolutely agree with you! I do not think that dispensations should be abolished at all! I just think that too many (mainly non-practicing) Catholics do not think of marriage as a holy vocation, but rather as a free pass for romance.

People tend to get married nowadays because they think marriage is all about “being happy” but you and I realize that often marriage is anything but a barrel full of Ho-Hos. Marriage is a job (sometimes easy, sometimes hard) just like entering a religious order will require work. Just as I would say that someone should not enter a religious vocation out of a desire to “be happy” but rather out of a desire to make a sacrifice and give oneself FULLY to the Church, I would similarly say that one should marry out of a desire to give oneself FULLY to the other person and work diligently for that person’s salvation. We talk about this a lot where contraception is concerned but we rarely talk about why the Church suggests that Catholics marry other Catholics. My RCIA director (who was wonderful, not like some of the liberal Catholics I hear about) said that “Husbands, it is your responsibility to make sure your wife gets to heaven, and wives, vice versa!”

I guess my point (and I’m not really in disagreement with you I think) is that marriage is more than finding someone to be happy with until you die. It is the person that you will work to get to heaven together! To marry someone who is a different religion than you seems to have given up on this notion from the very beginning! If my wife died and I had to start over, I would not marry a non-catholic. I would die single or go into a religious order before I did that. I don’t hate non-Catholics, but I could never get close enough to someone who doesn’t share my religious convictions to ever feel romantic about them. Sorry that was so long!

 

[WitnessSpouse]

Once again, I am truly sorry if I offended anyone. Please accept my apologies.

Hope,

I don’t think anyone here is offended, and I am glad you returned to the post.

In my situation, I would have to agree with you! If my marriage were to fail and I obtained an annulment, I would not get involved with anyone who is not Catholic. This doesn’t mean that a mixed marriage doesn’t work, because mine is at this point (and I think a Catholic-JW marriage is the strongest recipe for disaster), but it is the Ministers of Marriage (husband/wife) that make it work. It doesn’t work just because it is a marriage.

That situation has great POTENTIAL (everyone I said “potential”, not recipe, not guarantee, but “potential”) to create a difficult path for a married couple.

I would recommend Engaged Encounter retreats or a long series of pre-marital couseling with a priest, not to mention an strong Catholic couple to mentor those who are considering Marriage.

The bishop told my parents before he married them (54 years ago) that marriage in an 80%-80% proposition. Both of you have to be willing to give 80% all of the time, and when the other is having difficulty you need to take up the slack.

It sounds to me that you more than held up your part of the bargain. Hold your head high. The next Mr. HopeEternal will be a fortunate man!

I hope that you use this as an opportunity to grow closer to God.

Peace

 

[VanSensei]

Finding faithful Catholic young women my age (19-20) is difficult, I admit, so in this part of Minnesota, marrying non-Catholic is my only choice because the faithful God-fearing future wives here are Lutheran or non-denom.

 

[EasterJoy]

Oh of course! I absolutely agree with you! I do not think that dispensations should be abolished at all! I just think that too many (mainly non-practicing) Catholics do not think of marriage as a holy vocation, but rather as a free pass for romance.

People tend to get married nowadays because they think marriage is all about “being happy” but you and I realize that often marriage is anything but a barrel full of Ho-Hos. Marriage is a job (sometimes easy, sometimes hard) just like entering a religious order will require work. Just as I would say that someone should not enter a religious vocation out of a desire to “be happy” but rather out of a desire to make a sacrifice and give oneself FULLY to the Church, I would similarly say that one should marry out of a desire to give oneself FULLY to the other person and work diligently for that person’s salvation. We talk about this a lot where contraception is concerned but we rarely talk about why the Church suggests that Catholics marry other Catholics. My RCIA director (who was wonderful, not like some of the liberal Catholics I hear about) said that “Husbands, it is your responsibility to make sure your wife gets to heaven, and wives, vice versa!”

I guess my point (and I’m not really in disagreement with you I think) is that marriage is more than finding someone to be happy with until you die. It is the person that you will work to get to heaven together! To marry someone who is a different religion than you seems to have given up on this notion from the very beginning! If my wife died and I had to start over, I would not marry a non-catholic. I would die single or go into a religious order before I did that. I don’t hate non-Catholics, but I could never get close enough to someone who doesn’t share my religious convictions to ever feel romantic about them. Sorry that was so long!

I’m not sure why people get married, and in the few cases where I have actually polled people about it, they’re kind of fuzzy, too. Many did not even have marriage on their minds–sometimes did not even have dating on their minds!–when they met their spouse. Take that one person out of their life, and marriage might not even be something they were looking for. Others are at the other extreme–they want a life with children in it (or even the social life of half of a couple), and therefore they want to marry. This extreme wants the peripherals of that go along with the state of being married even more than they want a spouse. Then there are people who want whatever it is that they believe the marital commitment implies.

I guess it isn’t two extremes, really. Maybe it is three points of a triangle. I don’t know that your particular idea of what you most automatically want out of marriage matters as much as what you understand that you’re promising to put into it and what you will need from your spouse. I think sometimes the latter can get obscured–love conquers all!–but sometimes it becomes clear that a marriage failed because more than one of the spouses have to have the maturity and intention to give the relationship what it needs. There is a limit to what one spouse can do to make up for the necessary contribution from the other, and sometimes a very real (and good) willingness to sacrifice for the other obscures that reality.

 

[josh987654321]

Thank you

Hi all!

I’ve been a long time reader of the forums, but this thread finally convinced me to register so I could share my experience.

I must have pushed all the right buttons than, haha

**Simply put, mixed marriages can and do work. **

I agree.

My grandparents were a mixed marriage (my grandfather was actually studying to be a Methodist minister before he met my grandmother). They raised two ethical, decent, and conscientious Catholic children; one of whom was my mother.

If you granfather was studying to be a Methodist minister, why did he raise his kids Catholic?

I’m in a mixed marriage too (to a Unitarian Universalist ) and we intend to do the same with our children, God willing we have them.

From what I have seen among other mixed marriages and experienced in my own life, the ethics, moral disposition, and personality of the person you marry matters MUCH more in a successful, loving marriage than the particular denomination that person happens to have.

Yes, that matters, but religion also matters alot, if religion doesn’t matter alot, my first question would be why? so I wouldn’t downplay it.

Please read my first post for the OP -

Don’t do that, I for one, am glad you shared.

Religion is an important factor when it comes to marriage I think. Many brush over it. I know before I enter into marriage, religion will certainly be a topic “open” for discussion. There will be no “agree to disagree.” If me and my future wife whoever she may be, cannot work out our religious differences with me and be on the same page with religion, than what hope would we have for future issues?

I don’t think you must date only Catholic’s for better chances, I just think next time, if you do get the annulment, don’t leave things like religion unchallenged, if they are Christian, why are they not a devout Christian? because you face the same dangers with a Catholic. Just because they claim to be Catholic or Christian doesn’t remove this danger.

Do you think a woman in the same denomination of Christianity that he claimed to be in would have had any better chances? Id say no, because he renounced his Christianity anyway and said he was more Agnostic.

So I think it’s important that they are a practicing Christian/religious, than both parties should decide to work out their religious differences and be on a united front, because if both parents are saying different things about Christianity, than what hope do their kids have? they are more likely to just through the whole thing out the window because their parents can’t make up their own minds. So I would say, “We are going to discuss this, we will discuss it until either you convert to my religion or you can convince me to convert to your religion.”

I think it’s important that they don’t settle with “agree to disagree.” Because as Abraham Lincoln said “A house divided cannot stand.”

Matthew 12:25
25 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.

God Bless

Thanks for reading
Josh

I would simply ask, do you settle with “agree to disagree” on important matters such as religion with your spouse? are you content with religious division?

As I said before, we all have the same book (Bible) so someone is right and someone is wrong, we can’t all be right with completely different interpretations of the same book.

If both your parents studied the same mathematics text book and one of your parents said 2+2=4 and the other said 2+2=5, What would you think of learning mathematics? because even your parents who are apparently educated on mathematics can’t agree.

I think with any issue, it’s very important for parents to be on a united front when raising their kids, if your not on a united front it presents all kinds of difficulties and the kids will play on your division.

I would like to ask, how does religious practice work? do you go to a Catholic Church and your husband goes to another Church? than what Church will your kids go to? and if your husband goes to your Church, than he cannot participate in recieving the Holy Eucharist, that enourmous gift where Christ comes down and feeds us with his body, blood, soul and divinity, so than he is missing out.

Also as others have said, marriage is a sacrament, so if you both believe different things about marriage, than you are both signing completely different contracts.

Now in saying all of this, I am not trying to have a shot or anything like that, I am trying to inspire you to not be content with “agree to disagree” on matters as imporatant as religion, because there is truth, someone is right and someone is wrong, I want to encourage you to be on a united front with you and your husband when it comes to religion.

If he is protestant, I strongly recommend him listening to Scott Hahn’s conversion story on youtube here - youtube.com/watch?v=FrQN8LHYg5g

I would also maintain the focus on the Holy Eucharist, it is in the absolute truth of the Holy Eucharist where people find the absolute truth to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

I simply want to encourage you not to be content with “agree to disagree” on matters as important as religion, because there is much more fulfilment in a united marriage than a mixed marriage. I know many people will probably take exception to this, but I think it’s absolutely true and very important.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[josh987654321]

Going along these lines, I would add that many (I didn’t say all) Catholics who consider marrying non-Catholics are probably not deeply immersed in their own faith. I am a Church Organist. I have been working in the Catholic Church for less than a year (since my conversion) and I have played several weddings. ALL of these weddings have been between young Catholic women and non-Catholic men. When I speak to these women during the music consultation I am struck by a total indifference toward the particulars of the Catholic Rite of Marriage. Its really just a stage for their fancy wedding, not a sacrament to them.

After debating Christians on these forums who support same sex marriage, I don’t doubt that for a second.

As you said, many of these are just “cultural” Catholics (and I know its not just women) but are truly as indifferent to Catholicism as they are any other religion. This is tragic in and of itself, but often a few years go by and (as I see posted over and over on this forum) these people will decide to get back into their faith. They want to go to confession and begin practicing NFP, or they want their children to be taken to mass weekly or whatnot. At this point, their non-Catholic spouse shows a mean side and “feels betrayed” because they were really hoping for a completely non-religious home environment.

I know it works out sometimes, but the Church has a VERY GOOD REASON for Catholics to not marry non-Catholics without a dispensation. Frankly, I think the dispensation is handed out too liberally, but of course, if they didn’t give it, these people would just go marry outside the Church.

Simply put, Catholics should not marry non-Catholics. (I’m not saying anyone should split from their non-Catholic spouse.) I don’t understand why a serious Catholic would even date someone who is not Catholic. Say “no” to the first date!! Don’t get involved! Don’t pursue marriage for marriage sake, but wait until God brings the right person into your life.

I absolutely agree with all of your post, accept for this bit.

Simply put, Catholics should not marry non-Catholics.

I’m not too sure what I think about this, I don’t think I agree with it, because there are many mixed marriages where they have converted their spouse to become a very devout united marriage, so I wouldn’t quite say that.

(I’m not saying anyone should split from their non-Catholic spouse.) I don’t understand why a serious Catholic would even date someone who is not Catholic. Say “no” to the first date!! Don’t get involved! Don’t pursue marriage for marriage sake, but wait until God brings the right person into your life.

I completely disagree here.

I would date a devout protestant who I could educate about Catholicism over a cradle Catholic any day.

I don’t think people should date only Catholics, because many have simply never heard of the Catholic Church or have many misconceptions of the Catholic Church.

It’s like someone being admit that 2+2=5, you can show/educate them on how 2+2=4 and they will take it on board, rather than someone who say’s “I think 2+2=5 however I don’t really care, it’s not a big deal so if you say 2+2=4 than okay, I’ll accept that.”

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[eyesopening]

I completely disagree here.

I would date a devout protestant who I could educate about Catholicism over a cradle Catholic any day.

I don’t think people should date only Catholics, because many have simply never heard of the Catholic Church or have many misconceptions of the Catholic Church.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

Josh, Thank you for your kind comments and your agreement on certain key issues. Concerning the part that you disagree: I may be reading you wrong but you seem to imply that you would date a protestant for the purpose of converting them. Now, this happens all the time, I’m sure, but dating is (in my humble opinion, and the opinion of the apologists here on CAF) a time for marital discernment. In other words, to date someone means to seriously consider marrying them. Now, you might decide not to marry them and then you break up, but if you are compatible, you probably get married. If your reason for dating them was just to convert them, I’m not sure your period of marital discernment (aka dating) is fulfilling its purpose. In other words, marriage is a vocation, not a mission field. I hope I haven’t misrepresented what you were trying to say.

 

[josh987654321]

Josh, Thank you for your kind comments and your agreement on certain key issues. Concerning the part that you disagree: I may be reading you wrong but you seem to imply that you would date a protestant for the purpose of converting them. Now, this happens all the time, I’m sure, but dating is (in my humble opinion, and the opinion of the apologists here on CAF) a time for marital discernment. In other words, to date someone means to seriously consider marrying them. Now, you might decide not to marry them and then you break up, but if you are compatible, you probably get married. If your reason for dating them was just to convert them, I’m not sure your period of marital discernment (aka dating) is fulfilling its purpose. In other words, marriage is a vocation, not a mission field. I hope I haven’t misrepresented what you were trying to say.

Your reading me wrong

I’m saying that just because they are not Catholic doesn’t mean we should cross them off of our list, that’s like saying “I refuse to date someone who doesn’t know that 2+2=4 or is admit that 2+2=5.”

My sister dated a devout protestant, who is now converting to Catholcisim, she didn’t date him in order to convert him, but she didn’t refuse to date him because he was a devout protestant either.

My father was a devout protestant who married my Catholic mum, in his efforts to prove my mother wrong in Catholicism, he ended up proving her right and became a roman catholic. He was also not content with “agree to disagree” and knew that it’s important to be on a united front in marriage, which is what I want to emphasise in this thread.

I’m saying that what ever the religious differences, people should work through them, it’s no different to any other issue, both husband and wife should be on a united front when going into any marriage or currently in any marriage.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh