For singles: Why are you single?

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Because I do not find dating and marriage worth my time or effort. :mad:
 
I’m 34 now. When I was in my late teens early 20’s I thought I would definately be married by my mid to late 20’s and when I wasn’t it made me almost depressed. Well, not really depressed but unhappy. I’m so happy now that I didn’t marry then because I know I would have married the wrong man. For the last 2 years I have deliberately stayed single because I knew that with the career I have chosen and the studies I have undertaken I would have to leave the country I am living in at the moment in order to work in my chosen field. I’m moving in late September, so from then on I will be on the look out!! 😉
 
peregrinus_WA said:
Because I do not find dating and marriage worth my time or effort. :mad:
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I’d think it ought to be worth the time and effort, given that its how God made it.

I’m still single because… erm… I still feel like I’m a kid inside? 😛 (only 21 this month)
 
Magicsilence said:
I’d think it ought to be worth the time and effort, given that its how God made it.

I’m still single because… erm… I still feel like I’m a kid inside? 😛 (only 21 this month)
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But God didn’t make everyone the same either. I can’t speak for anyone else, but me, personally, I don’t, for the most part, enjoy being around people. Granted, when I’m forced to, I can put up a front, that hides my true feelings, but would it be fair to a woman to date someone like that? I don’t think so. And let’s face it, for any major life decision, people choose their actions based on how it makes them feel. No one would get married if they didn’t believe it would make them more happy than are being single. If someone doesn’t think marriage would make them happy, it wouldn’t be fair for that person’s potential spouse to be married to them.
 
Lots of women too. (Look at the posts above yours – more women than men are expressing that feeling…)

Some people are called to marriage and some aren’t. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Morwenna said:
Lots of men these days seem to feel that way … more’s the pity 😦
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ack said:
Lots of women too. (Look at the posts above yours – more women than men are expressing that feeling…)

Some people are called to marriage and some aren’t. There’s nothing wrong with that.
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Well …

Yes and no.

I think a large part of the problem stems from the fact that the secular world has such a profound effect on attitudes toward marriage, even among deeply religious people. I think that many (consciously or unconsciously) listen to the words of ‘the world’ rather than God’s call. (NB: I’m not implying that this applies to any specific person(s) on this thread; I’m speaking generally, here).

As an example, folks hear the “50/50 divorce rate” statistic trotted out time & time again, and after hearing it over and over, they (unsurprisingly) become very cynical about marriage … after all, why bother, if you have only a 50% chance of staying married? A second example might be the glamorization of the self-centered single life (“Sex in the City” and such). Having these messages drummed into us from all sides can certainly (and I believe, HAS certainly) lead to the de-valuation of marriage and the consequent marriage-phobia of today.

And in reference to the number of male vs female respondents on this thread … well, speaking from my own life experience, I’ve known many more women who deeply wished to be married and could not find a man to marry them, than the other way 'round.

YMMV 😉
 
Morwenna said:
And in reference to the number of male vs female respondents on this thread … well, speaking from my own life experience, I’ve known many more women who deeply wished to be married and could not find a man to marry them, than the other way 'round.
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Well, you should realize that many men are not likely to express these feelings when women are around. (In fact, many men won’t even express these feelings when other men are around.) I’m sure you’ve heard that men don’t talk about their feelings as much as women do. That’s just the way it is.
 
ack said:
Well, you should realize that many men are not likely to express these feelings when women are around. (In fact, many men won’t even express these feelings when other men are around.) I’m sure you’ve heard that men don’t talk about their feelings as much as women do. That’s just the way it is.
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Depends on the men in question 😉

As I said, YMMV 🙂

Pax Christi
 
ack said:
Well, you should realize that many men are not likely to express these feelings when women are around. (In fact, many men won’t even express these feelings when other men are around.) I’m sure you’ve heard that men don’t talk about their feelings as much as women do. That’s just the way it is.
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Hmm…darn men and their reluctancy to talk about feelings…

Its a good thing I’m not-…oh wait, I AM a man…😃

Hmm…then why do I have no trouble talking about my feelings?
LOL

I seriously want to get married. I first want to court the woman, and get to know her deeply. I don’t like being single!!
 
Very early twenties here, with very few catholic males in my parish and general area that are around my age (everyone’s either way too young, way too old or already taken 😦 )…and frankly, I really don’t want to date a non-catholic.

That’s the most important thing, 'cuz its tied into so many other things. For instance, most non-Catholics or non-Christians won’t understand why I’m not wanting to have sex 'til marriage… not to mention there are lots of anti-Catholic people out here that can give (and have given) me flak about being Catholic…which is cool while I’m doing Legion of Mary work but not cool when I’m trying to find the love of my life.
 
Lack of opportunities I believe is the reason for my current state of singleness. There is a massive, gaping hole in the world where there should be intelligent, faithful Catholic men. I know they must exist, but I have to meet any single, practicing Catholic since my conversion. I’m not willing to settle for someone with whom I do not share my faith and so I find myself without a husband and without even a single prospect in sight.
Good, single, Catholic men, where are you hiding?!?!
 
Ladylinguist, Thunderbird.
There are good Catholic men everywhere

You two will find your own soon! I’ll pray for you!!
 
I just received my decree of nullity in January of this year, and now I am dragging my feet. I feel like I am called to marriage, but I am doing very little about making that a reality, and I am not yet convinced that it is God’s will for me to marry. I have been much more focused on my faith and my physical health these days.

I don’t spend enough time with Catholics. Most of my friends are Protestant or non-practicing Catholics. Most of their friends are Protestant or non-practicing Catholics. Because of what happened in my first “marriage”, I don’t even want to go on dates with women who are not practicing Catholics. I’m not willing to test myself with such temptation because I know how weak I am.

So for now, I just try to lead a good moral life and trust that God will help me along the right path.
 
Why am I single? Well, I was once married for 11 years. I have been divorced for 16 years. Also, I am getting up there in age: 60.

Anyhow, to an answer the question. I think one stumbling block is that my social skills leave a lot to be desired and I am a loner, private type person. My dating life over the years has been practically non-existent. I don’t know where to meet eligible women. If I did know I wouldn’t know how to approach them or what to say.

I am getting set in my ways. I have had my own apartment for 4 years now and am content & fairly comfortable. Sure, the idea of romance and the like does enter my mind but I try not to think about it too much.

Looking back I don’t think I was called for the sacrament of matrimony. I failed miserably at it. So, I think I will remain single.

John
 
I’m single because I am young, in school, and just starting to gain financial independence (I’m paying taxes for the first time in my life). I’m not ready for marriage just yet. I have quite a few guy friends, a couple of whom pronounced me “classy” and “a lady” (yes, they’re very sweet Catholic/other Christian boys), but they see me as like their sister (who they want to protect from the boys, lol).

I’m also open to discerning religious life, so I want to explore that avenue first. And I have a lot of growing up to do before I get married. That’s a huge commitment that I’m not ready to make at this point in time.
 
HI all,
Well, I think I’m single mostly just because of my insane schedule. Even though I would like to meet some to marry, it would probably be near impossible to have time to get to know them right now. I teach all day, and then attend graduate school at night. On the weekends, I’m usually just playing catch up with homework, laundry, bills,etc.and am exhausted! Though I still squeeze in time for mass on Sundays 😉 But - I will finish my master’s degree next summer and I’ll only be 25 then so I figure I’ve got plenty of time. I kinda plan to start looking more seriously for a mate after all this grad school business is over - and if I’m meant to find someone I will. It does bother me to be single sometimes, but usually I’m so busy- I don’t have time to think about it!: 🙂
 
Okay, some people are saying they are waiting for God to provide them with a mate.
Do you think that since there are avenues like www.avemariasingles.com and other Catholic dating sites God expects us to “exhaust” all opportunities and put in the work ourselves? Like, instead of sitting back and waiting for God to send me a new job, I should get out there and put in my resumes, go on interviews and so forth? I feel uncomfortable with online dating sites but wonder if that is being foolish since I do want to date a Catholic guy. I picture God thinking, Okay, you want to date a Catholic guy, but you won’t go on to dating sites and expect me to send you someone??
 
I am glad someone brought up the subject of Catholic singles. A few years ago I signed up for one on the Net and got nowhere which for me is par for the course. What I found a bit unusual about it was that a few women did show an interest in me but lived no closer than 3,000 miles away. Now, was I suppose to take a plane and meet them for dinner? Perhaps, this is a standard M.O. for these cyberspace dating sites. I don’t know. Has anyone else had this experience?

John
 
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