I know that some of the marriage at all cost post give me a feeling of hopelessness. Do I have to be miserable and emotionally unstable for the rest of my life because I made a stupid decision 20 years ago when i was messed up and God was not even part of my life.
Hello cviolette,
I pray that you will consider that one who chooses to honor the vows they spoke before God and remains faithful to a spouse who they have been forced to separate from, or have been abandoned by, does not need to remain miserable and emotionally unstable.
It certainly is a cross but that cross can become light as we allow Him to carry it through us. It is actually freeing. Deeply liberating. The Truth does set us free.
Before one of our retreats we were doing for our CCD kids a lady stopped me and said, “Bryan, you always seem so happy.” Well, I have many things to be thankful for. One does not happen to be a wife who chooses to love me or even remain with me, but there are so many other ways I have been blessed way beyond what I “deserve.” (I responded also to her that my children may not always agree with what she said; )
I have been deep down in the “I just want to let go of the wheel and hit those trees and let my life insurance take care of my wife and kids” valley and He took me by the hand (felt like “ear” sometimes) and lifted me out of it.
I cannot imagine having the peace and joy that He has blessed me with if I chose not to be faithful to my wife.
I know that people will encourage us to “seek an annulment.” The majority of priests I have talked to encouraged this (not because there was anything I told them that indicated my marriage was really not valid, but because they thought I would “feel better” if I were allowed to “marry” a woman who would choose to love me, and they wanted me to “feel better.”)
But the peace that it brings my children when they hear me lovingly talk about my wife (their mother) is priceless to me. My children are witnessing what saying “until death do us part” means. My children are witnessing, although, definitely imperfect, what it means to choose to love someone even when they choose not to love you. My children are learning what it means for a husband to be faithful to his wife for life. My children are learning, although definitely imperfect, what it means to have faith, hope and love.
I pray my pre-teen daughter is given confidence that she too will have a husband who will choose to love her for life. I pray her younger brother will learn that a true man of God honors the marital commitments he makes to the wife of his youth. Even when they become difficult to honor.
I was blessed with a very faithful priest who tried telling me these things several years ago. I wasn’t exactly ready to sign at the “you are likely going to remain celebate for the rest of your life” dotted line but I am so very blessed to have had him in my life. He was able to see things that I couldn’t see at the time.
Bryan
LOVE SO AMAZING