For the married, is it permissible to send intimate photos to your spouse?

[edward_george1]

I think we can all agree that if sending intimate photos creates frustration it isn’t healthy and shouldn’t be done.

I think you’re going in a bunch of different directions with this to try to maintain your position, and you miss the point.

The point is not time, it’s not frustration, it’s not whether the act can be completed, or anything.

It’s that you or your spouse are taking what rightly belongs in the bedroom between you and making a record of it and abstracting it from its proper context.

Some things aren’t meant to be photographed. If you would read my response above, you would see my reasoning.

 

[phil19034]

tafan2:

phil19034:

• Turning spouse on in person - fine.
• Turning spouse on when he/she cannot do anything about it - puts your spouse in a near occasion of sin (because they can have lustful thoughts) and places the spouse who sent them in the sin of scandal.

I agree with this completely, only saying that it could be used in a scenario where he/she can do something about it.

I disagree.

If turning your wife on is a sin, it’s a sin no matter when and how you do it.

If it is fine for my wife to turn me on at the house, it is fine for her to turn me on over the phone. As long as we both know that it is oriented to the marital embrace. Either when I get home or when the kids go to bed.

How is getting aroused in a hotel room, in a separate place from your spouse oriented towards the martial embrace?

It’s not.

Just like Father said - you can’t receive the sacraments over telecommunications and you cannot engage in sexual activity over telecommunications.

The way chemicals in our body work during sexual arousal, it requires touch. Without touch, it frustrates the body and can cause sexual addiction and sexual disorders.

This is NOT just a matter of theology. It’s also a matter of science in regarding the way the sexual organs work & how porn/sex addiction start and affect the brain.

 

[tafan2]

I gave an example. It’s could be a “fun” way if initiating the marital act. In my experience, spouses sometimes get a little creative in their requests for sex.

Again, I am just saying in specific circumstances, it may be all well and good, we should not make absolute statements that it’s immoral.

If it’s nudity, I think it’s almost certainly wrong, but other scenarios may be ok.

Now, that doesn’t make it side considering the threat if the photos getting out thru hacking it list phone.
At any rate, that’s likely all I have to say in the matter. God bless.

 

[edward_george1]

This is NOT just a matter of theology. It’s also a matter of science in regarding the way the sexual organs work & how porn/sex addiction start and affect the brain.

I don’t think this is quite as important, to be honest, since this deals with the consequence of the action rather than the nature of it. As Catholics, we’re not consequentialists when it comes to morality, we’re more concerned with the fonts of morality:

1. Object
2. Intention
3. Circumstances

I’m trying to make the point that taking intimate photos (which really is a contradiction in terms; once it’s a photo, it’s not intimate anymore) is not rightly ordered according to those fonts of morality. It might have absolutely disastrous results, or it might have excellent results in some way, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is whether the act is good or not.

 

[phil19034]

Are you married?

The purpose is the build up and anticipation of the marital embrace.

Yes, I’m married. Been married for 15 years and I’ve lived with my wife (regretfully) for almost 20 years.

I know (from experience), if my wife sent pics to me exactly what would happen. I would fantasize about being with her, and have lustful thoughts about her. It would be very difficult for me to focus on my responsibilities and I would be looking at that photo FAR more than I should be. Looking at the photo would eventually lead me to bond with a fantasy version of my wife instead of the real person.

As someone who suffered from sex/porn addiction - IT IS NOT GOOD.

 

[phil19034]

phil19034:

This is NOT just a matter of theology. It’s also a matter of science in regarding the way the sexual organs work & how porn/sex addiction start and affect the brain.

I don’t think this is quite as important, to be honest, since this deals with the consequence of the action rather than the nature of it. As Catholics, we’re not consequentialists when it comes to morality, we’re more concerned with the fonts of morality:

1. Object
2. Intention
3. Circumstances

I’m trying to make the point that taking intimate photos (which really is a contradiction in terms; once it’s a photo, it’s not intimate anymore) is not rightly ordered according to those fonts of morality. It might have absolutely disastrous results, or it might have excellent results in some way, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is whether the act is good or not.

OH, I totally agree, Father.

Thank you for weighing into this discussion!

 

[edward_george1]

I am rather concerned about this too. @Theresalux, is there some reason why you raise this question again?

 

[tafan2]

I will be to your opinion Fr. Others can disregard my posts.

 

[Theresalux]

I am rather concerned about this too. @Theresalux, is there some reason why you raise this question again?

I was unmarried then, and I am married now. It also didn’t get as many responses as I would have liked and it didn’t generate as much of a debate as it did a year ago. I’m glad I posted again, as I feel like I’ve gained greater insight. I have sent suggestive photos to my husband with the understanding that it was perfectly fine and totally chaste. I decided to ask again because I had some bit of a doubt, and I wanted to see what other Catholics had to say in the matter.

I am involved with a few catholic groups online (forum type) that frequently discuss such things and this topic was always spoken of lightly and in a good light. Truly I didn’t think anything of it! Had I have any inclination that it was even remotely unchaste I would not have sent my husband any such pictures! I guess I will have to confess it next time I go to confession! Thank you for your involvement in this discussion!

 

[Beryllos]

I’m glad you are getting more responses in this thread, 70+ as compared to only 13 last March, and glad that you are gaining further insights. God bless you!

 

[CatholicSooner]

CatholicSooner:

I think we can all agree that if sending intimate photos creates frustration it isn’t healthy and shouldn’t be done.

I think you’re going in a bunch of different directions with this to try to maintain your position, and you miss the point.

The point is not time, it’s not frustration, it’s not whether the act can be completed, or anything.

It’s that you or your spouse are taking what rightly belongs in the bedroom between you and making a record of it and abstracting it from its proper context.

Some things aren’t meant to be photographed. If you would read my response above, you would see my reasoning.

I disagree. Which is fine. I read your reasoning. I just think there is a lot of fallacy in it

 

[edward_george1]

Please identify what kind of fallacy I’ve committed.

 

[CatholicSooner]

CatholicSooner:

tafan2:

phil19034:

• Turning spouse on in person - fine.
• Turning spouse on when he/she cannot do anything about it - puts your spouse in a near occasion of sin (because they can have lustful thoughts) and places the spouse who sent them in the sin of scandal.

I agree with this completely, only saying that it could be used in a scenario where he/she can do something about it.

I disagree.

If turning your wife on is a sin, it’s a sin no matter when and how you do it.

If it is fine for my wife to turn me on at the house, it is fine for her to turn me on over the phone. As long as we both know that it is oriented to the marital embrace. Either when I get home or when the kids go to bed.

How is getting aroused in a hotel room, in a separate place from your spouse oriented towards the martial embrace?

It’s not.

Just like Father said - you can’t receive the sacraments over telecommunications and you cannot engage in sexual activity over telecommunications.

The way chemicals in our body work during sexual arousal, it requires touch. Without touch, it frustrates the body and can cause sexual addiction and sexual disorders.

This is NOT just a matter of theology. It’s also a matter of science in regarding the way the sexual organs work & how porn/sex addiction start and affect the brain.

This is the issue I have with your reasoning. You keep assuming situations that nobody mentioned. Nobody mentioned having phone sex. Nobody mentioned porn. Nobody mentioned frustration. You are assuming all of these cases.

 

[CatholicSooner]

phil19034:

This is NOT just a matter of theology. It’s also a matter of science in regarding the way the sexual organs work & how porn/sex addiction start and affect the brain.

I don’t think this is quite as important, to be honest, since this deals with the consequence of the action rather than the nature of it. As Catholics, we’re not consequentialists when it comes to morality, we’re more concerned with the fonts of morality:

1. Object
2. Intention
3. Circumstances

I’m trying to make the point that taking intimate photos (which really is a contradiction in terms; once it’s a photo, it’s not intimate anymore) is not rightly ordered according to those fonts of morality. It might have absolutely disastrous results, or it might have excellent results in some way, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is whether the act is good or not.

You guys do realize there are apps to protect your pictures right?

You keep getting hung up on the privacy and Digitle aspect of it. There is a very very minute chance that anyone would elver see the photo. There is a better chance that my neighbor would look in the window and see us than a photo getting hacked. That doesn’t make the embrace wrong.

Should we only make love in concrete rooms with padlocks on them?

 

[CatholicSooner]

CatholicSooner:

Are you married?

The purpose is the build up and anticipation of the marital embrace.

Yes, I’m married. Been married for 15 years and I’ve lived with my wife (regretfully) for almost 20 years.

I know (from experience), if my wife sent pics to me exactly what would happen. I would fantasize about being with her, and have lustful thoughts about her. It would be very difficult for me to focus on my responsibilities and I would be looking at that photo FAR more than I should be. Looking at the photo would eventually lead me to bond with a fantasy version of my wife instead of the real person.

As someone who suffered from sex/porn addiction - IT IS NOT GOOD.

So for you, it would not be good.
But that is because you know you couldn’t handle it. For others, they wouldn’t have the same issues. You are looking at your issues and transposing them to everyone.

 

[childinthefaith]

We been married 30 years, been Catholic for 5.
I’ve studied as much Teaching as I’ve been able, & best I could guess is that as long as it is in the confines of the man and wife (privacy concerns abound), and neither spouse is doing anything in the picture outside of Church Teaching, it’d be fine. I mean ya know what each other look like anyway, so I fail to see where sin could be.
Lust? nope, it’s your spouse

That said, if you’re exchanging these pics and using them for anything other than your viewing pleasure, then you get into the possibility of sinfulness (with yourself)…

But the question was “exchange pictures,” so I’d think it’d be no worries, at least I’d not be concerned if it was my spouse and I.
Simply remember though, we’ve only been Catholic 5 years and I’m nowhere close to an expert on such things…

 

[edward_george1]

Did you miss the part of this where I said the technological aspect is not that important to my point? I’m not talking about privacy and consequences, I’m talking about the ordering of the act.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

So for you, it would not be good.
But that is because you know you couldn’t handle it. For others, they wouldn’t have the same issues. You are looking at your issues and transposing them to everyone.

Why are you so anxious to defend the practice of spouses exchanging intimate photos of themselves with each other?

It’s not hard to see how it could cause problems for a lot of people, including being a temptation to masturbate if you’re not with the spouse. If you’re the rare kind of person who can enjoy a naked picture of your wife as just being a piece of art, then that’s between you and your wife, but the average person wanting to look at a naked picture of their romantic partner is doing it with arousal in mind. Why is this so hard for you to accept?

 

[edward_george1]

This is a gross mischaracterization of Catholic sexual morality and of Theology of the Body.

 

[Matthew25]

You certainly can, but why? There are too many ways for that to become public. I wouldn’t send anything you wouldn’t want the world to see.