For those who use it...does NFP really truly work?

  • Thread starter Thread starter raphaela
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

raphaela

Guest
I’m having a hard time believing this…and i can’t think of any reason to convice my fiance either…he’s a condom guy like his protestant dad tought him to be. He doesn’t think its possible that this would work. He also thinks it’s too much work and takes the spontaneity out of intimacy…is this true? Does it really work as well as some claim? Is there any draw backs?

thanks
 
Yes it really works. Two kids in 12 years and I know EXACTLY when they were started.
 
I’ve been using NFP to prevent pregnancy for 4 cycles now. So far its worked in preventing pregnancy. I’ll have to admit that I haven’t followed it to the letter, but thats because I’m very open to life. I also hear that the rate of success when followed correctly is better than the “pill”. I bet there will be many more responses with much more experience than myself.
 
go to onemoresoul.com

Yes, NFP “works” it works to delay/avoid pregnancy it works with your body not against it.

Unless your “spontaneous” time is first thing in the morning it won’t take out the “spontaneity” nearly as much as remembering which drawer the box of condoms is in. You will know first thing in the morning if this is a good day or not and if it is then you can be much MORE spontanious.

The only draw back is cyclical abstinence… which in and of itself can be a good thing… a little fast whets the appetite so to speak… and a greater degree of self-discipline is required.
-D
 
Thanks…keep it coming…I want to be able to convince my fiance!!!
 
Also, is it wrong to practice NFP before your married…I know having sex is wrong, but to just using NFP to get the hang of it?
 
Most certainly not… in fact I would recommend it if you have need to use it right away once you are married, unless you think that knowing that it would be unlikely for you to get PG would increase your temptation.

-D
 
Doctors have a name for women who use NFP:

they call them “mothers.”

Everyone I know personally who has relied on NFP as contraception has 4-5 children.

Your fiance is right: it cuts down on spontaneity, and believe me, you will feel like a gatekeeper. I found it intolerable.

Naprous
 
Naprous, maybe women who use NFP have more children because they are more selfless than women (and men) who insist on artificial birth control.

If a couple insists on artificial birth control so they can have intercourse whenever they want without the inconveniece of children happening, they are focusing on themselves alone: not children, not God, not the sacramentality of marriage. No wonder they have fewer children.

Raphaela, go to onemoresoul.org (I think that’s it!) they have WONDERFUL resources!! Get the CD called: contraception: why not? by Janet Smith. Get other stuff too!!
 
The number of children people who use NFP have is not an indicator of “failure” with NFP. People who use NFP usually are more open to children then those who are contracepting.

-D
 
NFP when used right has a 98+% effective right, which is better then then Pill, condems or any other birth control method, except abstinance. First off you need to make sure you know what NFP is. A lot of people ASSUME that NFP is the Calendar method. That is not what NFP is.

Depending on who you learn it from, there are numerous signs of fertility used to determine when you can and can’t have intercourse.

Couple to Couple league teaches the Sympto-Thermo method which uses a combination of temperature, mucus levels, and cervix opening to determine the phase of the cycle you are in.

To naprous, just because someone has 4-5 kids and used NFP doesn’t mean they are using it wrong, they may want 4-5 kids. You need to know whether they were using it right and whether they were using it at the time. They may have been using NFP to conceive, NFP isn’t just for “avoiding” pregnancy.

To the person that asked about using NFP while engaged. First off, remember having sex during engagement is a sin, but taking the training and starting taking the NFP measurements (i.e. temperatures, mucus readings, etc.) is highly encouraged. Officially you are supposed to go at least 1 complete cycle without intercourse the first cycle you use NFP. If that cycle is during a time when you aren’t supposed to be having sex anyway, even better.

If you have any questions feel free to ask, we are still a pretty new at this ourselves, but everything has been great so far.
 
I can see where the mistake would be made…I know my fiance and his family assume that NFP has higher failure rates than birth control because of the number of children NFP couples have. It’s hard not to assume that given the observation.

I went to onemoresoul.com, it’s a good site, I’m gonna have to read it more in depth though, because I’m not really in a reading mood today.

One question though. NFP is good to space out children so when practicing NFP and on the days that you are unlikely to get pregnant, would you be able to where a condom as well, since the effects are the same (no pregnancy?) ??? I’m only asking this (your opinion) because i know this will be one of my fiance’s arguments!!! It’s good to think ahead!!!
 
no…

no condoms, period, no artifical brith control… it is NEVER licit.

-D
 
So far, I have used NFP to avoid pregnancy for a total of 43 cycles, and have a 100% effectiveness rate. So you know you’re dealing with someone who is fairly likely to get pregnant otherwise, here’s the other stat: Of the 9 months that I was neither pregnant nor trying to avoid pregnancy, I conceived 3 times. In other words, the NFP worked very well for me.

Yes, there is a degree to which spontenaity is reduced. The requirement to discuss your fertility with your spouse before you engage in the marital act can be challenging at times. The fact that when we do have relations when I am fertile, I am very aware of the higher likelihood of conceiving, does make it less spontaneous.

On the other hand, Overcoming these challenges (such as communication) is making my relationship with my husband stronger. My increased awareness of the conception that may be happening helps me be awestruck by the miracle of life. The other thing to consider, is how necessary it is to use any method (including NFP) to avoid a pregnancy. The only way to be truly spontaneous is to not use any method at all, and just be open to whatever life comes your way.

As far as it being too hard to use: As someone who has never used anything but NFP, the idea of all the downfalls of condom use (not the least of which is that it is LESS effective than NFP) or any other contraceptive, is very daunting to me. I’m so glad I don’t have to be responsible for keeping enough on hand, or watching the expiriation date, or taking a pill every day, or having physical side effects, or never knowing what the real act of marriage really feels like since there is always a barrier there… There is no difficulty-free way to avoid pregnancy. Your fiance is just deciding that he’d rather stick with the difficulty he’s familiar with.

God Bless,
TKC
 
40.png
raphaela:
One question though. NFP is good to space out children so when practicing NFP and on the days that you are unlikely to get pregnant, would you be able to where a condom as well, since the effects are the same (no pregnancy?) ??? I’m only asking this (your opinion) because i know this will be one of my fiance’s arguments!!! It’s good to think ahead!!!
Click to expand...
Not only is condom use not allowed for Catholic reasons (you are totally removing the procreative aspect from intercourse, NFP still allows for that possability), but it is not permitted to use it during NFP because it messes with your “readings”. Part of NFP is determining your mucus levels. If you have sex with a condom during a time when you aren’t you will be artificially changing those levels.

In addition to the site that was already suggested, you may want to look at the Couple to Couple League site at:
ccli.org
 
Thanks marauder!! That is a great answer…do you mind if I use it in my conversation if/when the question comes up?
 
Well, when I was using NFP, I was definitely not very open to having children, so that does affect the way I feel about it. I did/do not want 4-5 children.

I HATED charting. Every minute of it. Taking my temperature every morning, monitoring cervical fluid… the whole thing. Really a drag. And add to it the fact that I have a relatively low sex drive, and am most likely to be “interested” when I’m ovulating – and you have a recipe for someone who is not likely to be happy with NFP as a method of contraception.

That being said, I know lots of people who have found charting VERY helpful when they are trying to get pregnant. It certainly increased my knowledge about my own body.

I just think Raphaela should know what she’s getting herself into. And if she has a Protestant fiance, i.e., someone who is not as committed to NFP as the rest of you are, I suspect that NFP will cause problems in their marriage. I recommend REALLY doing some talking about it!

Naprous
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top