Foreplay when pregnant a sin if it doesn't go any further?

[nancy_dalrymple]

It took me a while to understand why foreplay alone is a sin, and I have to come to realize that the reason it seems so alien to us is because our world has completely perverted, in every sense of the word, what marital love is. We have reduced sex to basically a toy, something to make us feel good. We have made it a very selfish act and instead of life giving, it has actually come to destroy life. A major reason for sex is to, of course, strengthen the bond between a husband and wife, but it must always, always, always be open to life. The relationship between a husband and wife mirrors the relationship between God and the Church, and God’s relationship with the Church is always open to life, specifically, new spritual life. To not be open to life in the physical act of sex is to take the precious gift that God has given us and trash it. In a physical way it is akin to desecrating the Blessed Sacrament.

It is true that if you are already pregnant, you have certainly been open to life. But you can’t just take the precious act of marital love and trash it now, perverting it.

Thank God that the Catholic Church still has this understanding and how not thrown it away, as the rest of the world has.

Mary

I was passing by and noticed this thread, after i began reading I have to disagree with your notion that it is a MORTAL sin to make love with your spouse. Itn’t that carring it a little to far? Paul said better to bo married then to Burn. Why should you burn if your married Who made up this?You are not to with hold from each other Right? And dont look at me like I might have done this, I have not but for other reasons, not because someone said so. Alot of men go out and cheat on their wives because they can’t touch what is theirs? God Be with You Nancy

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Has anyone here a mind of their own? Does what goes on in the bedroom have anything to do with a priest? You believe in naturel birth, natural conseption, what ever happened to doing what comes naturally? If you are married and in your own home it is between you your spouse and God. Not man. Why are you so afraid to live? I don’t understand? Do you think you are going to hell for loving each other? God Bless Nancy

 

[lizziebits]

Has anyone here a mind of their own?
Yes

Does what goes on in the bedroom have anything to do with a priest?
No, but it has everything to do with God

You believe in naturel birth, natural conseption, what ever happened to doing what comes naturally?
? I’m just not sure what you are talking about here

If you are married and in your own home it is between you your spouse and God. Not man.
Yes, this is correct. Hence, the trying to determine what God thinks on the matter. An excellent way of obtaining this information is Scripture and Tradition.

Why are you so afraid to live?
I’m certainly not afraid to live. I rather enjoy it.

I don’t understand?
What in particular?

Do you think you are going to hell for loving each other?
****Absolutely not. Quite the opposite in fact.

---

God Bless Nancy

 

[ac_claire]

I was passing by and noticed this thread, after i began reading I have to disagree with your notion that it is a MORTAL sin to make love with your spouse. Itn’t that carring it a little to far? Paul said better to bo married then to Burn. Why should you burn if your married Who made up this?You are not to with hold from each other Right? And dont look at me like I might have done this, I have not but for other reasons, not because someone said so. Alot of men go out and cheat on their wives because they can’t touch what is theirs? God Be with You Nancy

Hi Nancy. My advice is to calm down and read the rest of the thread, attentively. Nobody has claimed that it’s a mortal sin to make love with your spouse.

Has anyone here a mind of their own? Does what goes on in the bedroom have anything to do with a priest? You believe in naturel birth, natural conseption, what ever happened to doing what comes naturally? If you are married and in your own home it is between you your spouse and God. Not man. Why are you so afraid to live? I don’t understand? Do you think you are going to hell for loving each other? God Bless Nancy

Who is afraid to live? Who said anyone is going to hell for loving eachother…?! If you could just narrow down what exactly you are replying to it would make actual discussion with you possible.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

OK Here goes, First, Is foreplay a sin to Catholic’s? when you are Pregnant? And why do you have to ask the question? Did someone tell you it is wrong? Why would you even discuss this, does the church teach of this? That you must ask a priest before you are intimate with your husband? Is making love only to produce? If so then I dont understand. Does this answer why I asked?

 

[lizziebits]

OK Here goes, First, Is foreplay a sin to Catholic’s? when you are Pregnant? And why do you have to ask the question? Did someone tell you it is wrong? Why would you even discuss this, does the church teach of this? That you must ask a priest before you are intimate with your husband? Is making love only to produce? If so then I dont understand. Does this answer why I asked?

Nancy

1. No, foreplay is absolutely not a sin.
2. It is not a sin when you are pregnant.
3. The discussion was based on foreplay when it was NOT followed by actual intercourse. The discussion was long, but I think can be summed up in the statement that foreplay that is not followed by intercourse is alright as long as it is loving (not lustful) and does not lead to orgasm. To clarify – foreplay is great, orgasm is great, sex is great, and married couples should engage early and often. The debate was foreplay that was NOT followed by intercourse.
4. The Church has a lot to teach about sex, and not because they want to keep people from having fun. They teach about it because it is so very fundamental to us as persons, and God has a very good plan for it.
5. No, you do not have to ask a priest before you are intimate with your husband. Sex between a husband and a wife is not a sin – it is a very good thing.
6. Sex is both unitive and procreative – it’s purpose is bonding and babies.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Hello Lizzebits, First and foremost, I want to wish you the very best with your boundle of joy! and may God Bless this child with good health and happyness. Now my next question is: what you said about foreplay and not having an organism,or intercourse? Does that mean you dont do that because you are pregnant, and could harm the baby? lOL Nancy

 

[lizziebits]

Hey Nancy,

Actually, pregnancy has very little to do with the discussion. Intercourse and orgasm are both perfectly wonderful while you are pregnant (unless of course restricted by your doctor).

The question really boils down how far a married couple should go if they have no intention of completing the act of intercourse.

The answers seems to be, according to Catholic teaching, that if a couple has no intention of completing the act of intercourse, that they should 1) not be lustful, but always loving and 2) not get to the point where one is tempted to orgasm outside of intercourse.

That line is different for different couples.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Hey Nancy,

Actually, pregnancy has very little to do with the discussion. Intercourse and orgasm are both perfectly wonderful while you are pregnant (unless of course restricted by your doctor).

The question really boils down how far a married couple should go if they have no intention of completing the act of intercourse.

The answers seems to be, according to Catholic teaching, that if a couple has no intention of completing the act of intercourse, that they should 1) not be lustful, but always loving and 2) not get to the point where one is tempted to orgasm outside of intercourse.

That line is different for different couples.

Thank You Lizzebits, I hear what you are saying, everything is done together. Nancy

 

[atassina]

My question is, if you’re already pregnant, is it still a sin if you have foreplay without completely making love? You already have life inside of you, so you’re not opting out of creating life.

Just a thought that I would like answered b/c my husband and I engaged in foreplay and it stopped there. I knew by how tired we were that it would likely just be foreplay also.

Did we still sin?

A real moral theologian needs to answer this question. use “ask an apologist” who probably can get a clear ruling on this interesting question.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Atassina, Hello, why on earth would you need a theologan to discuss what you do in the bedroom? I dont understand,is it not between two people what they are comfortable with? Why would you need a third party to make your decisions? LOL Nancy

 

[ac_claire]

Atassina, Hello, why on earth would you need a theologan to discuss what you do in the bedroom? I dont understand,is it not between two people what they are comfortable with? Why would you need a third party to make your decisions? LOL Nancy

No theologian, or canon lawyer, or priest has any interest in the specific, personal things you and your husband do int he bedroom. You are mischaracterizing the issue and the Church’s teaching. It’s something that is beautiful. Whether you accept it or not there are moral dimensions to everything you do in your life, including sexuality. Theologians and priests care about that moral dimension. You may not like it (or more likely, you may not understand it), but as a Catholic you really need to accept it if you’re going to be happy.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Hello Ac Claire, could you please explain what you are saying? I honestly did not understand.Please excuse my ignorance. Thank You Nancy

 

[kage_ar]

Hello Ac Claire, could you please explain what you are saying? I honestly did not understand.Please excuse my ignorance. Thank You Nancy

She is saying that there are moral laws given by God about sex.

These are very simple.

Sex is only to take place inside a valid marriage.

It can only involve the husband and wife, no other people either live or via pornography.

The couple must begin the act with the full intent for the husband to ejaculate inside his wife’s vagina.

No artificial contraception.

That is it, 4 simple rules.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

She is saying that there are moral laws given by God about sex.

These are very simple.

Sex is only to take place inside a valid marriage.

It can only involve the husband and wife, no other people either live or via pornography.

The couple must begin the act with the full intent for the husband to ejaculate inside his wife’s vagina.

No artificial contraception.

That is it, 4 simple rules.

Thank You as I am not up to par on the laws of the church,trust me i am taking RCIA classes. Now what is a valid marraige? and I agree with the rest,in #3 if it starts out that way, and if it does not end that way is that OK?

 

[Clergy_brisbane]

I am viturally unshockable but I am concerned how we can see foreplay in marriage (even without procreation) as a worry. If this is so, and I respect where people are at I am hoping that a open and creative conversation can support people to move beyond worry. While I respect people actively seeking to inform themselves as to teachings and then live accordingly I cant help noting from the viewpoint of being a psycho-therapist how concerned people are - using terms like “licit” to describe acts of joyous senuality between partners (when these are acts between married couples). I find this quite interesting and perhaps it points to where some are in terms of seeing this is all as more a law issue than a wonderous one. I continually encounter who are very concerned as to form over substance and perhaps get a little too worried about law. An unrelated metaphor may help here…I see people who sit at the back of church openly worried and so caught up in a pre. Vatican II sense of liturgy (and thats OK provided it doesnt turn them into judges and Pharisees!) that they (seemingly) takes notes, report the Presider and perhaps cant just move to enjoy and enter into the wonder of worshiping God together creatively as a faith community - whatever the form!
Pax

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

I am viturally unshcokable but I am concerned how we can see foreplay in marriage (even without procreation) as a worry. If this is so, and I respect where people are at I am hoping that a open and creative conversation can support people to move beyond worry. While I respect people actively seeking to inform themselves as to teachings and then live accordingly I cant help noting from the viewpoint of being a psycho-therapist how concerned people are - using terms like “licit” to describe acts of joyous senuality between partners (when these are acts between married couples). I find this quite interesting and perhaps it points to where some are in terms of seeing this is all as more a law issue than a wonderous one. I continually encounter who are very concerned as to form over substance and perhaps get a little too worried about law. An unrelated metaphor may help here…I see people who sit at the back of church openly worried and so caught up in a pre. Vatican II sense of liturgy (and thats OK provided it doesnt turn them into judges and Pharisees!) that they (seemingly) takes notes, report the Presider and perhaps cant just move to enjoy and enter into the wonder of worshiping God together creatively as a faith community - whatever the form!
Pax

Where have you been? You are so right, I have never herd of this in my life, i was curious and asked as to why this is a thread or subject to discuss. I know I’m not to smart but I am trying to understand the way people (Cathoilc’s) think. AM I a nut? You are loved Nancy

 

[distracted]

I’m not sure. I’m no canon lawyer, nor a priest.

I just know that every sexual act has to be “open to life”.

Sexual pleasing the man, with the climax outside the vagina, is not permissible. It’s not open to life. I suppose that there is the chance (??) that the woman could possibly be pregnant again? I dunno. I don’t know female biology.

It’s my understanding that all sexual pleasure must be open to life, and “finishing” the man outside the vagina is not open to life, any way you spin it.

if you think about it, the Church’s teachings are not much more than common sense…

and yet we humans are not very into common sense, which is why we need the Church to show us the way. I’m glad you are a “sheep” who follows the Church… instead of a goat who kicks against its every teaching…

anyway… a man doing as you say… is self-gratifying and that is wrong. Sex is not only for procreating but for creating unity… so this act goes against the unitive And the procreative aspects of sex…

any act that doesn’t involve the other partner is masturbation, in my (catechized more/less) opinion… don’t think the Church would disagree…

 

[distracted]

I am viturally unshockable but I am concerned how we can see foreplay in marriage (even without procreation) as a worry. If this is so, and I respect where people are at I am hoping that a open and creative conversation can support people to move beyond worry. Pax

this “worried” attitude is better than th anything-goes attitude of the world… by a long country mile…

I’m glad people are wanting to do things God’s way…

True, it is going too far when people say, for example, that you cna’t have sex while pregnant because there’s no chance of creating new life… That is NOT what the Church teaches, though…

the Church has a beautiful teaching about sexuality…

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

this “worried” attitude is better than th anything-goes attitude of the world… by a long country mile…

I’m glad people are wanting to do things God’s way…

True, it is going too far when people say, for example, that you cna’t have sex while pregnant because there’s no chance of creating new life… That is NOT what the Church teaches, though…

the Church has a beautiful teaching about sexuality…

Do you want to realy know what I think?I think it is no one’s business! And I’m gunna stick with that! You know who.