Foreplay when pregnant a sin if it doesn't go any further?

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nancy_dalrymple said:
Do you want to realy know what I think?I think it is no one’s business! And I’m gunna stick with that! You know who.👍
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Nancy. It really isn’t anyone else’s business… but the couple’s with what God intended. It’s these intentions. God does not intend that we use one another, even mutually. Sex is a gift he gave married people for two purposes. One is procreation and the other is couple unity. We are expected to honor the rules of engagement, so to speak so that we don’t end up using one another for only the pleasurable aspects of intercourse.

There are fun things to do as well as somethings that might be pleasurable, but not really mutually self-giving. Is this making sense? Love, and the marital relationship do have rules so that we remember that it’s all about love. I suggest you pick up “Love and Responsibility” or “Theology of the Body for Beginers” to get a better understanding about “those crazy Catholic rules.” Trust me. It is common sense, once we come to our senses!😉

Peace to you!
 
newbetx said:
Nancy. It really isn’t anyone else’s business… but the couple’s with what God intended. It’s these intentions. God does not intend that we use one another, even mutually. Sex is a gift he gave married people for two purposes. One is procreation and the other is couple unity. We are expected to honor the rules of engagement, so to speak so that we don’t end up using one another for only the pleasurable aspects of intercourse.

There are fun things to do as well as somethings that might be pleasurable, but not really mutually self-giving. Is this making sense? Love, and the marital relationship do have rules so that we remember that it’s all about love. I suggest you pick up “Love and Responsibility” or “Theology of the Body for Beginers” to get a better understanding about “those crazy Catholic rules.” Trust me. It is common sense, once we come to our senses!😉

Peace to you!
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HI newbext, how do you know that your partner is not thinking of the girl next door? you cannot get into a persons brain and pick it, and i have seen people who thought their spouse realy loved them and only went with them and that was a shock because they lied so good. Everytime I go anywhere on the forum there is a book maid by man and not God, to read. You read more book’s that man has done then the Bible how come you trust in man so much? There must a reason?
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
Thank You as I am not up to par on the laws of the church,trust me i am taking RCIA classes. Now what is a valid marraige? and I agree with the rest,in #3 if it starts out that way, and if it does not end that way is that OK?
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A valid marriage is a marriage that is given with free consent between two people who are free to marry and in accordance with the laws of the Church.

The intent has to be for the man to ejaculate in his wife’s vagina. The only way that it should not finish that way is if there is an accident or interruption and the act goes unfinished. It is immoral for a man to puropsly ejaculate in another place.

You really should read some of the suggested materials. Get “Theology of the Body for Beginners” by West or “Holy Sex!” by Popcak.
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
HI newbext, how do you know that your partner is not thinking of the girl next door? you cannot get into a persons brain and pick it, and i have seen people who thought their spouse realy loved them and only went with them and that was a shock because they lied so good. Everytime I go anywhere on the forum there is a book maid by man and not God, to read. You read more book’s that man has done then the Bible how come you trust in man so much? There must a reason?
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You seem to be asking me two different questions…

As for what or who a spouse thinks of when they make love, I can offer no guarantees. If their hearts are true, they would only think about their spouse. It’s when porn, adultery and improper sexual attitudes sneak in that something else may happen.

Yes people lie. They lie with their mouths, eyes, bodies… A proper relationship and trust within a marriage is vitally important for the couple. When that is broken, there is much hurt.

As for men writing books. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe that man can be inspired to write very good books. To say that man, today, can not be inspired by the holy spirit to write good books is to say the same that a man can not be inspired by the spirit to say the right thing at the right time. We all can be inspired to say the right thing at the right time if we open ourselves to the sprit’s power.

The books I suggested are written by a couple of men I think very highly of for their live long dedication to scripture study and prayer. One is John Paul II. This is one very humble man. He didn’t just invent Theology of the Body (TOB). It comes from scripture. All of it. JP II studied scripture, prayed alot and became our church leader. Christopher West, while I agree, he can be over the top sometimes, has dedicated his life to studying and making TOB understandable to those with a less than scriptural heritage. His books have the proper church approval, too.

We all look for something to make sense of the world in which we live. When we find something that melds with our experience AND calls us to be people of God by living as those in scripture do, this is good stuff.
 
kage_ar said:
A valid marriage is a marriage that is given with free consent between two people who are free to marry and in accordance with the laws of the Church.

The intent has to be for the man to ejaculate in his wife’s vagina. The only way that it should not finish that way is if there is an accident or interruption and the act goes unfinished. It is immoral for a man to puropsly ejaculate in another place.

You really should read some of the suggested materials. Get “Theology of the Body for Beginners” by West or “Holy Sex!” by Popcak.
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I did not get married in a Catholic church so I am not married? Does that mean my children are bastards? Boy buddy I hope not because if that is the way you think I am leaving for good. A mad mom!:mad:
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
I did not get married in a Catholic church so I am not married? Does that mean my children are bastards? Boy buddy I hope not because if that is the way you think I am leaving for good. A mad mom!:mad:
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The church considers marriage outside the church valid in some circumstances.

Regarding your children, I think your language is a bit harsh, and i believe the church does not consider anyone that term.
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
I did not get married in a Catholic church so I am not married? Does that mean my children are bastards? Boy buddy I hope not because if that is the way you think I am leaving for good. A mad mom!:mad:
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A quick answer, then, some advice.

When you began RCIA, the Priest and RCIA leader (if they are different people) talked to you. They asked you questions about your marriage. They helped you then know if your marriage is valid.

As long as neither you or your husband had not been married before to any living person and neither of you was baptized Catholic when you married outside the Church, your marriage is presumed valid. Should there be problems (prior marriage or one of you was a Catholic for instance), your Priest and RCIA director are assisting you in the processes to regularize your marriage.

The term you use asking of your Children is one that was used by some legal systems, it has nothing to do with anything in the Church and is very cruel.

Perhaps English is not your first language, that is why some of your posts seem abrupt in the tone?

Last thing, it is proper internet forum ettiquite to stay on topic of the original question/topic. When you want to ask a question on a different topic, start a new thread. That keeps threads from drifting all over the place.
 
ComputerGeek25 said:
The church considers marriage outside the church valid in some circumstances.

Regarding your children, I think your language is a bit harsh, and i believe the church does not consider anyone that term.
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I told you the way it was told to me, by a Catholic, and I know the language was not good but I was told it that way, and I was mad, and that is another reason I stayed away from the church. Pardon me if that is wrong but,ive herd that word used just yesterday on this forum it is nothing new! only when someone new say’s it. You know I dont even care right now so dont barther answering this because I’m deleting all my threads I am in because all you can do is find fault, your no help.BY BY
 
Read through the Catechism and brush up on the definitions of grave and mortal sin! Also, familiarize yourself with John Paul II’s Theology of the Body by Christopher West’s writings. Then you should be able to analyze your own actions well-informed and follow your well-formed conscience. 🙂
 
nancy_dalrymple said:
I told you the way it was told to me, by a Catholic, and I know the language was not good but I was told it that way, and I was mad, and that is another reason I stayed away from the church. Pardon me if that is wrong but,ive herd that word used just yesterday on this forum it is nothing new! only when someone new say’s it. You know I dont even care right now so dont barther answering this because I’m deleting all my threads I am in because all you can do is find fault, your no help.BY BY
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Nancy,

Don’t leave over something like this… I agree the word bastard shouldn’t be use, even if a marriage was invalid. It doesn’t sound like that was the case in your marriage anyway.

Prayerfully,
Joe
 
all this sexual stuff is making me sick…

Why would a person put their personal sexual business out in the public like this??:confused:

and furthermore, i think it is inconsiderate… Some people here suffer from problems… like being tempted to self-gratify… Obviously talking about sexual acitivity like this doesn’t help. :mad:

(and no, i am NOT speaking of myself. I know how bad that sin is & avoid it like the plague… but others here have shown, time and again, that they are struggling/tempted).

I frankly think this kind of talk should not be allowed on CAF…

you?
 
This is a message board where people come to get religious advice from their peers on many many different issues. If you or someone you know struggles with a certain sin… don’t read those post. It’s a easy as that.

The truth is many people need to talk about these things but don’t feel comfortable in person but can be more open in the anonymity of the Internet. I think it’s fantastic, better to find out all the information you can than wallow in ignorance.

Joe
 
The forums are a discussion place for adults-- for all topics pertaining to our faith.
 
jwashu said:
This is a message board where people come to get religious advice from their peers on many many different issues. If you or someone you know struggles with a certain sin… don’t read those post. It’s a easy as that.

The truth is many people need to talk about these things but don’t feel comfortable in person but can be more open in the anonymity of the Internet. I think it’s fantastic, better to find out all the information you can than wallow in ignorance.

Joe
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i don’t see where people need advice about this particular kind of thing… I mean, get real… We need others’ advice on how to do such things? Doesn’t it come naturally, for crying out loud… and if you are walking with Jesus, you will have the Holy Spirit to guide you in what is acceptable and what isn’t… not to mention the Church… people can read the encyclicals… Theology of the body, etc…

i think a lot of these posts are pornographic…

a lot of pepole (no, ALL people) are weak… sinners… i don’t think its right to put temptation in their pathway… They will not always look away… or whatever… you know: Curiosity…

if it offends me, it offends others…
 
If murder is discussed do you think people will be tempted to murder?

I’m tempted to not even use that analogy because murder is a sin, while sex b/t married couples is not.
 
distracted said:
i don’t see where people need advice about this particular kind of thing… I mean, get real… We need others’ advice on how to do such things? Doesn’t it come naturally, for crying out loud… and if you are walking with Jesus, you will have the Holy Spirit to guide you in what is acceptable and what isn’t… not to mention the Church… people can read the encyclicals… Theology of the body, etc…

i think a lot of these posts are pornographic…

a lot of pepole (no, ALL people) are weak… sinners… i don’t think its right to put temptation in their pathway… They will not always look away… or whatever… you know: Curiosity…

if it offends me, it offends others…
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This is the exact point: We assume the original questioner is walking with Jesus and is being guided by the Holy Spirit and still does not know the most holy course of action.

What do you think they should do to take the holiest course of action?

Anthony
 
kage_ar said:
One of the posters earlier told me that we cannot expect normal Catholics to read encyclicals or TOTB. 🤷
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Why, isn’t coincidental that I should be checking in this morning? lol

No, this is not exactly what I said. What I said was that Catholics should not have to read those documents since the major teachings are in the CCC. If there is something huge missing from the CCC (like a grave sin), then the CCC needs to be updated to include it (and I have a really hard time believing that it would have been published with an error like that).

You insisted that the CCC was just a reference book and that Catholics need to refer to the documents also because the CCC doesn’t include all of the teachings. The CCC may not have every single word ever written about Church teaching, but it does include the most critical things to know. Catholics don’t need to refer to the documents to learn about the major teachings of the Church. They may refer to the documents if they wish to learn more about them.

And lol that this thread is still alive…
 
Threads like these remind me again and again that these forums need to be heavily moderated to prevent scruples from being passed off for legitimate Catholic moral teaching. Although many posters bring up helpful and relevant texts on the purpose of sexual acts related to unity and procreation (and the definition of lust as sexual arousal isolated from these purposes), I have not seen one spokesperson for the Church (Bishop, Cardinal, Pope or authoritative text, etc) interpret these texts in the highly scrupulous ways the majority of posters here intend for them to be interpreted. The validity of this interpretation is essential, and Church approval of validity must be appealed to here because orthodox Catholics - Catholics who believe everything the Church teaches - disagree on how best to understand the limits of a married couple’s romantic behavior when no sex is intended.

Given the lack of clear teaching on the subject, couples may exercise a free (and unscrupled) conscience with respect to foreplay. Catholics reading this thread should NOT be encouraged to adopt the highly scrupulous consciences of those posting here - and should consult a seasoned and orthodox confessor to discuss matters of conscience like this.

For those who want to read more into this, the topic was debated extensively a long time ago in a different thread: here. Needless to say, the discussion was effectively put to a halt when a statement with an imprimatur was found directly contradicting the scrupulous interpretation of the texts (mentioned above - the notion that ‘foreplay only’ is a grave matter): Here.
 
nobeerinheaven said:
Needless to say, the discussion was effectively put to a halt when a statement with an imprimatur was found directly contradicting the scrupulous interpretation of the texts (mentioned above - the notion that ‘foreplay only’ is a grave matter): Here.
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The document to which you link is clear and something that the OP may find as a good guide.
 
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