The task before me (and one i hope you will fight at my side to win, Chuck) is to determine what attributes or acts of love are
not forgiveness. If you and i learn this, then, by process of elimination, we will know what acts or attributes of love are forgiveness.
I asked God this morning how you and i might approach this battle for the truth about forgiveness so as to win the victory. Certainly we would need the sword of the Spirit (which is our weapon of reason, truth, the Word of God, and the Holy Spirit of God). In addition, we would need a battle plan. This is what came to me: We should consider an example of loving someone who has done nothing to warrant forgiveness. Any way that we might love such a person who does not need to be forgiven by you and i could safely be assumed to be love that is not forgiving.
The example i hope you will consider with me, Chuck, is that of a Monsignor i once knew. When i was a teen, this Monsignor visited our home. He was a kind and gentle man with a generous smile, a peaceful tone, and a humble attitude. I do not recall what he said, but i remember being impressed by the man as he spoke to my parents. I even envied his peaceful and joyful attitude. Now, this man was the perfect guest. He did nothing to me or my parents that we would have any need to forgive. How, then, should i have loved him in return without having to forgive him?
As mentioned earlier, we should love as St. Paul prescribes:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)I did not need to forgive Monsignor, so how could i love him in ways that did not require forgiveness? I could have loved him by being
- patient
- kind
- not envious
- not boastful
- not proud
- not rude
- not selfish
- not easily angered
- not delighting in evil
- rejoicing with the truth
- always trusting (or believing in) him
- always hoping for the best from him
- always persevering for him
- never failing to love him
The only two acts of love i could not appropriately give to Monsignor the day i met him were to
- not keep a record of wrongs
- always protect
Now, am i able to remove either of these from the list of ways of love that require forgiveness? Yes, if a fire were to break out in the house and the Monsignor fell trying to get out and my father and i carried him outside the house to safety, then we would be loving him by protecting him, and no forgiveness would be necessary in this case, either.
By process of elimination, then, you and i are left with only one attribute or act of love that requires forgiveness, Chuck. So, unless you see some truth about forgiveness to which i am blind, i believe it is right to say that
Forgiveness is only that attribute or act of love that keeps no record of wrongs. All other attributes or actions of love are ways that we love those we forgive, but are also ways that we love those who do not need our forgiveness. We should, of course, love those we forgive by being kind and patient with them. Being kind, however, is not forgiveness, it is kindness. Likewise, being patient is never forgiveness, it is patience. The only kind of love that is forgiveness is keeping no record of wrongs.
This seems to be the way that God Himself forgives us, as well, for my good friend St. David once sang that our Merciful Lord
… does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.(Psalm 103:10-12)And the writer of Hebrews quotes God as saying
“… I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”(Hebrews 8:12; see also Hebrews 10:17)Unless you have a reason to object, Chuck, i think we should say that we forgive as God forgives by remembering the sins of those who sinned against us no more. To forgive is to, in a sense, forget the wrongs done to us. It is to pardon and not penalize one for the sins she commits. This is what it means to “keep no record of wrongs” i believe. What do you think?