Formally Defected from the Roman Catholic Church?

  • Thread starter Thread starter KnightErrant
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
KnightErrant said:
It’s been about three months now and no one has bothered to check in on me to see how I’m doing or anything from my parish.
Click to expand...
I do find that rather odd, as it was in my own case, though at that time the church I was involved with was going through great upheaval and many members dropped out. However there was a period of time before that when ill health prevented me from going to church for nearly three years. As a reclusive introvert I did not want a flurry of phone calls inquiring as to my health, but did find it strange that I received only one such call in all that time. They either greatly respected my privacy or found themselves at a complete loss as to how to approach it.
 
In the end, I was quite pleased that they chose to leave me alone. 🙂
 
Actually in my situation(the parishes in my county got absorbed into a consortium), I have a couple of priests.

Both told me that they didn’t have time to talk to me (both at the specific time I asked them and in the foreseeable future so scheduling a time to meet was off the table). Never had a problem with them before this. Note: This isn’t the reason I’m considering leaving the Church.
 
In the case of the folks I know, I was told by them that they were pretty much “cultural Catholics” who were baptized in the Church and did the formal things like baptism and first communion when they were young, but otherwise faith for them was just a set of rules and duties and not much else when they were Catholic. As Al Kresta sometimes says, I suspect they were catechized but not evangelized, although I realize that is not the case for all Catholics, especially on this forum.
 
Last edited:
KnightErrant said:
Actually in my situation(the parishes in my county got absorbed into a consortium), I have a couple of priests.

Both told me that they didn’t have time to talk to me (both at the specific time I asked them and in the foreseeable future so scheduling a time to meet was off the table). Never had a problem with them before this. Note: This isn’t the reason I’m considering leaving the Church.
Click to expand...
I was wondering what you were wanting to talk to the Priests about? Had you said you wanted to formally defect?
 
Thanks for asking. I wasn’t at the point yet that I wanted to formally defect but the questions were about the problems I was having with the Church, at the local level and higher up. I wasn’t accusing them or anything, I was having a dilemma of faith and wanted a little guidance is all.
 
KnightErrant said:
I just lost faith in what was supposed to be “His” church because of “His” ministers.
Click to expand...
Not to pry, but you joined the Church by conversion either last year or the year before. Surely you knew about the priest abuse scandal before then. What else changed?
 
KnightErrant said:
Thanks for asking. I wasn’t at the point yet that I wanted to formally defect but the questions were about the problems I was having with the Church, at the local level and higher up. I wasn’t accusing them or anything, I was having a dilemma of faith and wanted a little guidance is all.
Click to expand...
If you can try and see it from their point of view. If you were having problems with them and the ‘higher ups’, it would probably be more prudent to address that to the parish council or the archdiocese. It’s really hard for Priests today. My cousin is a priest in Sydney at the moment and makes a point of continuing to wear his clerical collar in public. Inevitably he is stopped to hear about someones opinion of the Church or to be called to account just because he is a Priest. They don’t have all the answers or the ability or authority to address everyone who has a problem with the Church personally.
 
@KnightErrant

I joked with you about the Hotel California to lighten the mood, but I beg you to please, please re-study what our Catholic Beliefs are. Please? I’m praying for you.

There’s no possible way that you could understand fully and then walk away. Talk to a priest in another parish? Talk to us at CAF? Maybe sit through an RCIA class in another parish? Maybe immerse yourself into the comfort of a men’s retreat?

Could you not spend an hour or two in Adoration? Talk to Jesus part of the time; pray part of the time; and just let the mystery of the Holy Eucharist soak into your bones. Please try it a few times—for your happiness here and now, and for your eternal soul in the hereafter. Please.
 
KnightErrant said:
40.png
Tis_Bearself:
No, he just wanted to find a formal way of leaving that would make him feel better.
Click to expand...
You are right in a sense. It sure would feel better to leave in such a way that is more final than just drifting and allowing the RCC use non active Catholics (including those baptized and confirmed but no longer practicing) to boost their statistics.
Click to expand...
Trust me, where I live the Catholic diocese doesn’t to this at all. Every October they conduct an official “census” when they count everyone who attended a Sunday Mass (including the Saturday vigil Mass) in October and average it out to calculate the official headcount of each parish. So if you didn’t attend a Mass, you wouldn’t be counted as part of the Catholic Church.

And if you are officially registered at a parish, you can always call the parish office to request that you be taken off their registration list.
 
I appreciate what you people are trying to do (if not always the means by which you are trying to do it.). I don’t mean to appear like I’m not appreciative of it.

I wanted to and planned on talking to a priest in a different parish, (in my case the closest parish that isn’t part of the consortium is in a different diocese) and start going there but there isn’t any way to do so without any drama (The anonymity of the internet allows me to talk about these things to strangers.). In fact when I asked on here how much moral obligation a person had to stick out troubles in their parish before switching to a new one, I was not taken seriously.

I’m pretty sure the first time I would go to confession at the new parish, some of the things I’m avoiding talking about here (my reasons for wanting to leave the church) would come up and I would have to deal with in person the same kind of nonsense that I’ve dealt with on different parts of this site.

One thing that came up was that a couple months ago my consortium hosted a weekend long paid conference. Mass was only offered at this conference in my county so effectively you had to pay to attend mass. In order to go to a different parish and fulfill my Sunday obligation (yes, even the Vigil service), I would have had to drive at least an hour to attend due to the geography of the region. The conference didn’t cost much to attend but the fact that you had to pay to attend mass didn’t sit well with me. There was no one to appeal to about this either as everyone up to the Bishop was involved. This is the kind of thing that people go around nailing essays to church doors about.

There are other reasons but I don’t really care to get into those. I’ll continue to pray and study as I have done throughout all this, with fear and trembling. I’m not sure much else discourse will be productive. My initial question got an answer and for that I am grateful.
 
Last edited:
@KnightErrant I am very, very sorry that you’ve had this experience. I’m flat-out astonished. I will also add your parish and hierarchy to my prayers, along with your intentions. Hang in there, KE, it WILL get better, but, please, do keep our faith.
 
In many Protestant churches, it’s considered good form to formally resign from church membership by writing a letter to that affect. This is especially important if you are leaving under discipline. By resigning, you basically reject the church covenant and that church’s right to discipline you and many churches have provisions that end judicial processes once a member resigns.
 
Last edited:
You do, but what many people want is to force the church to acknowledge their defection by striking their baptism from the records. This happened in France where a judge tried to get the Catholic Church to recognize someone’s “debaptism”. At that point, it’s an infringement on the Catholic Church’s right to define what baptism is and forcing it to deny something that happened.
 
Last edited:
So this has been a most interesting thread. One point not mentioned is that in countries where (weirdly) religions are supported by the state (e.g. in Europe) you can register and unregister your religion. No church can stop you, but if you leave you take your funding with you and it goes to another church if you join up. From memory it is of no use to people like me who are unbelievers - you have to join a church with a god(s).

How I would put the situation is: The Catholic Church believes that if you are baptised you are a Catholic forever, even after you die.

If a Catholic leaves and ceases to believe in the authority of the Church to decide this point what the church believes matters not at all. As far as that person is concerned, Catholics believe something she does not. Not a surprise. She left the Church.

The ‘problem’ applies to everyone whether they were ever Catholic or not. Take a life-long unbaptised atheist. The Church thinks he is immortal. He does not. What does he care? What does it matter to anyone by Catholics?

Similarly I suspect some of my ancestors have been taken through a ‘sealing’ ceremony by members of the LDS. Why would I worry? They believe it. I don’t.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top