This part is understandable. It is very hard to leave a place that you have called home, where people know you and you know them for so long. Some people can actually go into a state of depression.
I remember being assigned to a mission up in the Andes Mountains. I did not want to go. However, we have a policy. Unless the superior asks for your opinion, you never express it. I had never lived in such a remote area. I was a diplomat’s son. Even though I’m originally from central VA, I lived in such cities as Rome, Hong Kong, Bogotá, Quito and Washington DC.
Within a week I was very depressed. Within two weeks I was having asthma attacks. I had not been asthmatic in my life. I grew up with cats, dogs and a sister who had very long hair.

She shed more than they did. All you had to do was look at the kids’ bathroom in my home.
At that time, we had a policy in our constitutions that said that we were never to speak about our life before we entered… You couldn’t think about it and reminisce about the things that made you smile.
I finally ended up being rushed to a major city to be hospitalized for my asthma. They couldn’t find allegies or respiratory disease. The superior asked me to stay in the city for a month, to recover. Within a wee, I was happy, laughing and energetic. It became clear to my doctor that my asthma was psychologically induced. It was real. I could have asphyxiated. The point is that tearing a person away from what is familiar to him and what makes him feel safe is easier said than done. That’s why many communities have a rotation schedule where people are moved every three to six years. Even then, the local superior keeps a close watch to ensure that everything is OK. If it’s not, he communicates it to the Major Superior.
I don’t hold this against anyone who has been living in a place for such a long time. Such a change can take a toll on the person. Some people are more resilient than others. With the help of an understanding superior, the support of a fraternity that loves you and a lot of prayer, you can gradually adapt. I adapted to my mountain mission by starting a school of theology for the local seminarians. This way, they didn’t have to go to the big city for school. Since I loved teaching, it kept me busy and happy.
On the other hand, the one assignment that I could never sink my teeth into was parish work. I was assigned to two parishes. When I was finally pulled out of the second one I told my spiritual director that I now knew what a soul feels like when being liberated from purgatory. To this day, I volunteer to help at the local parish a few hours a week. I travel to parishes to give talks and run seminars. However, I am very happy with my homeless, my expectant fathers, and my novices… I can’t ask not to go to a parish. I can’t even pray that it won’t happen. I just thank God that it has not happened.
My point is that there is discomfort and suffering involved in leaving what one has adopted as home. It takes time and patience to adapt to the change. This is neither an unusual experience nor an unreasonable one.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF