Friend getting an abortion on friday, need help ASAP!

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as per someones advice earlier, im going to fast tomarrow…i’d appreciate every one whos following this thread to please, say one prayer for the ‘unborn babies’ each nite this week until friday…if you already do this ((i do)) then im sure that’ll cover her and her child as well…i’d really appreciate it…thnx everybody…
 
***i’ve already hit her with all kinds of ***‘what about the babys future’ and ‘you knew what you were doing when you had unprotected sex’…and thats ‘your baby so what if he doesnt stick around’…and ‘what if something goes wrong and you cant have babies anymore?? what if this is the last gift God has for you, and you kill it??’

but, im not sure its working…shes too worried about the fact that she’d have 2 kids from different guys, and doesnt want to look bad…and shes got her school…etc…

im dying…someone send me some links, personal stories…anything i can bombard her with please…
Charlotte, you asked for us to give us our ideas of what to tell her. You’ve told her all the moral reasons why she is committing murder. The below quote for this website tells us that trying to convince women having abortions of what is plain to you and I (that this is murder, and they should have known better) just doesn’t work.

afterabortion.org/sermon1.html

"Indeed, studies show that 70 percent of the women choosing abortion believe it is morally wrong. This fact alone tells us that women are choosing abortion not because they think it is the right thing to do, but because they think, due to whatever pressures they are facing, that it is the only thing they can do. They feel trapped. "

So, as I said in my first post on this thread, all you can do besides praying for the soul of the baby and the protection of the angels and Blessed Mother on that soul- is to offer her love and make the greatest effort not to convey judgement.

If that doesn’t work, then this was outside of your control, and there is nothing more you can do, but you can rest easy that you’ve done all you can.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
as per someones advice earlier, im going to fast tomarrow…i’d appreciate every one whos following this thread to please, say one prayer for the ‘unborn babies’ each nite this week until friday…if you already do this ((i do)) then im sure that’ll cover her and her child as well…i’d really appreciate it…thnx everybody…
Charlotte I’ll for sure keep your friend and her baby on my prayers and will have my kids say some too. Keep us posted.
 
I know a young couple (mid/late 20’s) that my wife and I go to church with who are actively seeking to adopt right now. They are dedicated Catholics, are financial stable and would make beautiful parents.

If for some reason they couldn’t adopt this child, my wife and I would make any sacrifice necessary to adopt a child if it meant saving a life and I’m sure there are many many many people on CAF who would do the same. I hope and pray that your friend realizes this too.
 
Charlotte, grab your friend and take her to a pregnancy center to see the baby on an ultrasound imaging screen! This is not a time for doom and gloom, get her out of that mood, she is going to have a baby, and it’s gonna be fun! Her older child will get a little sister (or brother), and if they can tell the gender of the baby (if they can see on the ultrasound), you could already imagine the two children playing together and pick some colors as well. Besides, you could probably become the baby’s baptismal God-mother!

I say, keep it positive, and never even bother about what are people going to say. If they will criticize her, so what? Nasty people tell nasty things, but who cares? Good people will surely not criticize your friend, they will rather rejoice seeing her children with whom God blessed her. Hey, God can bring out blessings even from a mistake, and your friend’s baby is a gift and blessing from God!
 
I agree with those that have mentioned adoption. Although I am technically pro-choice (I am an agnostic, here for learning not because I am a Catholic myself), I think abortion should be a last resort really, and there is actually a lack of young babies up for adoption in the Western world these days - so for infertile couple who really wish to adopt a child to be ‘theirs’, she would be doing a very good and very selfless thing to go through the pregnancy and birth then give the baby up for adoption.

The fact she already has a child makes me think it’s more society’s expectations that are worrying her (2 kids by diff fathers) rather than the inability to cope with a child.

However, it takes two to tango - maybe (if you can) you should contact the father to persuade him to support her. It is pretty rough for her to be pushed into raising a child alone when it is as much his fault as hers.

L x
 
ok so…i talked to her…sent her an email with all those links and numbers that you guys gave me…we’ll see…

shes crazy…i just cant even relate…and it hurts my heart so bad to think that she could even think about doing this…ooooh…whewwww…

she just got her degree…and wants to go for her BACH…and im like, you know, when i got pregnant, i didnt have ANYTHING…i was ESTACTIC when i got my own studio…

but her…shes already got one kid…shes got housing so she pays NADA for rent…she just got her degree…shoot girl shes got a 2 foot headstart already!! she can get a good job…finish up her BACH at her leisure…having a kid isnt going to ruin her life…

and as far as her having a kid by two different men i told her she shoulda thought about that when she had unprotected sex with two different men… but…you know…you’d think that’d be common sense…ugh…its just frustrating…i cant understand it…and i have to be honest if she does it i dont know if i can look at her the same way…

i told her what about other options??? what about adoption??

shes like, ‘oh no, i could never give my kid away’

WELL HECK girl you would rather KILL your child than have someone else raise it???

i dont understaaaand…

Lord grant me the serenity…

Grant me the serenity…

😦
This approach worked very well when I was counseling in a Crisis Pregancy center:

Tell he she is not giving her child away. She had the rare privelege of helping God complete his plan for a loving couple. God has a plan for all of us and for most people that plan is for a loving couple to raise a child. There are some couples who are unable to have a child on their own-the only way they can complete Gods plan for them is with the help of those like you friend.

BTW-never use the term “give you child up for adoption”. Always say “place your child for adoption”. Words matter.
 
Do you know any adoptive parents? Maybe you could introduce her to them. I am an adoptive Mom and we have talked to my son about his biological Mom (although we do not have an open adoption). We tell my son how she loved him so much and that we are so grateful to her for the wonderful thing she did for all of us even though it was difficult for her. I still think he might be able to meet her someday and if he wants to, I will do everything in my power to help him. I think knowing that she can still have hope of a connection to the child may help. Adoption was one of the best things we have ever done right alongside the birth of our 2 biological children. Take her information, especially on open adoptions where she maintains contact throughout the child’s life.
 
BTW-never use the term “give you child up for adoption”. Always say “place your child for adoption”. Words matter.

We always used “make an adoption plan for your child”
I know it’s a little thing, but you are right words do matter
 
Charlotte, grab your friend and take her to a pregnancy center to see the baby on an ultrasound imaging screen!
👍

I had a friend who had an abortion scheduled the spring of 2003, and once she learned about baby development (from a book), she said quietly, “Oh, I didn’t know it had a heartbeat already. I can’t kill a heartbeat.” Her son is 6 now.

My brother tried to pressure his ex-girlfriend for 2 abortions (they have 2 children now, ages 4 and 1). I calmly and gently asked him why he thought abortion was okay, and then asked him at what point it would be unacceptable. He said, “When it has a brain or heart or whatever.” I let him know that at week 5, which is generally when a woman’s period is one week late, blood is already pumping through a tiny body. He was shocked and upset that “we didn’t learn that in school.” I told him that it’s okay, he knows now, and he’ll never offer abortion as an alternative to anyone else. He agreed.

Neither my friend or my brother are religious people, so I found that the best way to approach the situation was simply using science and educating them in basic biology. If you haven’t tried this yet, Charlotte, I encourage you to give it a shot!
 
Yes, yes, and when you see your baby, a little human being doing the things that babies do, it speaks to your heart in a way that’s unimaginable. I remember hearing an interview with a couple, where the doctors found out that the baby was going to have spina bifida and be wheelchair-bound. They offered to “terminate the pregnancy”, but fortunately they also offered to show the couple their baby on the ultrasound imaging machine. These machines are like video cameras, they create very life-like motion picture of the baby. So, the couple looked at the screen and they saw their little girl, sucking her thumb, and looking directly at them (which in all fairness was an illusion because the babies have their eyes closed but their eyelids are thin and it creates the impression that they have their eyes open and that they are looking at you). Anyway, once the couple saw their baby, they immediately denied to “terminate” her, and they never regretted their decision. At the time of the interview, their daughter was 13 y.o., a vivacious and likeable sweet girl, and she was a source of great joy in their life, in spite of being wheelchair-bound as predicted by the doctors.
 
Dear Charlotte,

Please pray for your friend. I suggest the rosary. I will keep her in my prayers. Referring her to a crisis pregnancy center is the next thing after prayer. She is scared and probably feeling very alone. Showing her that you want what is best for her and her unborn child while avoiding sounding judgmental will help her feel less alienated. I oppose abortion but think that deep down most “pro-life” woman decide to have abortions because they feel like they have no other option. Help her realize she can turn this surprise into a big blessing by considering adoption if she decides she cannot care for the child herself.

If she does have an abortion, please refer her to Rachel`s Vineyard, and please keep treating her in a loving way. No matter what she decides, she is really going to need a friend.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
What I would let your friend know is that

She alone is the only one that can save the life of her baby. She alone. Right now all she has to do is allow that little soul to grow in her womb, because she is the ONLY ONE that can do that. She is this baby’s only MOTHER.

So many woman feel helpless when they learn of an “unplanned” pregnancy. Some may feel very trapped. Out of control. They mistakenly think that a abortion will give them back the control in their life. But an abortion is not a “do over”. There is nothing that is going to change the fact that there is a baby in her womb that is completely dependant on her for life right now. An abortion does not give her control, it just kills her baby.

It is a decision that she will never be able to undo, there is no way out, no redo, no option after it is done. By choosing to have a abortion, a Mother away all of her control. She willingly gives all control to someone that only intends to take her money and kill her baby. And then they will leave her to deal with the emptiness and grief for the rest of her life.

She alone is the only one that can save the life of her baby. She is the only one that can make this decision. She is the only one that is responsible for this decision.

She is already a MOTHER.

Her path may not be easy, bringing her baby into the world, but at the very least, she will have options. Ones that SHE can make out of love, not out of fear or shame, decisions that she can be proud of. SHE IS A MOTHER. Who else could be this brave? She can do this. She is her baby’s only hope.

She may not realize that she will be taking away a part of her daughter’s mother if she makes the decision to abort her baby. The pain that post-abortive mothers carry leaves little room for a true relationship with anyone else. Numbness tends to be the only refuge. How exactly can one be a mother while trying to remain numb? That is also not to mention the moments that the grief can take over, especially when one day her daughter might innocently ask if she is ever going to have a little brother or sister. Those are the moments that she will not expect, but that can feel like they will stop her heart in a breath.

She may wonder one day if she should share with her precious daughter of the decision that she had made possible years before. About how she has spent that last … 20 years… trying to forget, trying to deny or defend and then and then finally admitting that it was a decision that she has been regretting every day since. Knowing that her daughter will realize at that moment that she might have had a brother or sister in this world…

In regards to whether or not she knows who the father is… She is certainly not the only woman that has had sex with more than one man in a period of time. But regardless of who the father is, SHE is this baby’s one and only MOTHER. It makes her no less of a MOTHER than any other mother. The child that is safe right now and growing in her womb, is her child, her baby. And she is the only one that can keep her baby safe.

She alone is the only one that can save her baby. This needs to be her decision.

May we all pray that through God’s grace, your precious friend will realize how much our Lord loves her. The this baby is exactly what will save her life. She deserves this baby, her daughter deserves this baby, the world deserves this baby. She just needs to allow God’s will to be done, one day at a time. May she realize how she will be abundantly blessed if she just allows God to carry her through this.

Our Lord, God gave her this precious gift. Please Lord, may she see the gift for what it is before it is too late. The gift is HER baby. Please Lord, save them both.
 
I came across a flyer this morning which contained the following old man’s testimony. It speaks to us all, and in a particular way to those who may be discouraged into feeling helpless, divided, confused, or ineffective in regard to abortion.

“I lived in Germany during the Nazi holocaust. I considered myself a Christian. I attended church since I was a boy. We had heard the stories of what was happening to the Jews, but like most people today in this country, we tried to distance ourselves from it. After all, what could we do to stop it? A railroad track ran behind our small church. Each Sunday morning we would hear the whistle from a distance and then the clacking of the wheels moving over the track. We became disturbed when one Sunday we noticed cries coming from the train as it passed by. We grimly realized that the train was carrying Jews. They were like cattle in those cars! Week after week that train whistle blew. We would dread to hear the sound of those old wheels because we knew that the Jews would begin to cry out to us as they passed our church. It was so terribly disturbing! We could do nothing to help these poor miserable people, yet their screams tormented us. We knew exactly what time that whistle would blow, and we decided that to keep from being so disturbed by the cries we would start singing our hymns. By the time the train came rumbling past our church, we were singing at the top of our voices. If some of the screams reached our ears, we would just sing a little louder until we couldn’t hear them. Years have passed and no one talks about it much anymore, but I still hear that train whistle in my sleep. I can still hear them crying out for help. God forgive all of us who called ourselves Christians, yet did nothing. Now so many years later, I see it happening all over again in America. God forgive you as Americans for blocking out the screams of millions of your own children. The holocaust is here. The response is the same as it was in my country–Silence!”

The flyer then went on to remind us that everyone can do at least something:

"If the Christians in the old man’s church had done something, they probably would have been killed. That is not the case with us today. We don’t even have that excuse for our silence.

What can I do?
  1. Pray for an end to abortion.
  2. Wear the “Precious Feet” pin. It is the exact size and shape of an unborn baby’s feet at 10 weeks.
  3. Volunteer your time with Pro-Life groups or Pregnancy Care Centers and support them financially.
  4. Start a Pro-Life group at your church.
  5. Share your convictions with your children and grandchildren.
  6. Donate Pro-Life books, videos or fetal models to local libraries and schools.
  7. Participate in Pro-Life events being held in your community."
Whatever we do, let’s not just “sing a little louder” and excuse ourselves from meaningful action. Even if all we can do is pray, prayer alone is meaningful action.
OK…so…i saw this thread yesterday, and i sent it to my friend…just like it is above, i told her i thought it was an excellent, allegory, short story, whatever, i thought it really put it in perspective…well, i guess her brother in law is there in the room when its opened and HE writes me back:

"Babies born every day to families that cannot afford them just so they can become lost causes of a broken system is wrong.Making laws to Force you’re ideals on other people just because u don’t agree with them is UN-AMERICAN! Abortion is and always should be the choice of the mother and no one elses. Keep the government out of the home or u will regret it. Once u give up ur rights u will not get them back. I am German and I know my history is a dark one but do not use and twist the mistacks made in the past to help further you’re own agenda. Too many people (Jews,Germans,American soldiers,etc… have shed blood for that. It aint right and I don’t appreciate it.

It’s a WOMANS choice! Lets keep it that way!
I’m PRO CHOICE and I hope that never changes being a right."

the rest of her family is pro-life, but just turning the other cheek…what can you say to c**p like this?? its like, my words, cant even fall on *deaf *ears, because she has all these prochoicers standing inbetween us, shutting me down??? im so fustrated…im so sad…im so FREKN hungry…

im sooooo frekn sad…i just lost hope…there it went…im sorry guys 🤷

:crying:
 
Oh Charlotte - it went right over her brother’s head. He just doesn’t get it. This must be so frustrating for you. All this talk of rights…but nothing of the right of the child to be born.
I wish I had words to change their hearts…but if I did, there wouldn’t be millions of deaths every year.

Tomorrow is the big day, I will continue to pray for the life of this child.
St. Therese, pray for us.
 
O

im sooooo frekn sad…i just lost hope…there it went…im sorry guys 🤷

:crying:
There is still hope-just keep praying and being there for her. And if she goes thorugh with the abortion you need to continue to be there for her. when the reality of what she has done sinks in all her pro-chaoice friends will desert her-it will only be those who realize the horror of what she is doing that will be there to comfort her , pray with her and help her repent.
 
Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for this mother and her unborn child.

Saint Gianna Molla, who gave your own life to save the life of your unborn child, pray for them.
 
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