Friend spending the night

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The thing is. If a married man who’s wife was away had his single friend (woman) stay, that would be odd…
 
Sky_River said:
You don’t think overnight sleeping has an appearance of evil? I’m not talking about putting your head on somebody’s shoulder, I mean sleeping together during the night.
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First of all, I don’t think that is what the OP was saying was going to happen.

And secondly, is that really what people do? I see a female visiting the house of my neighbor and I speculate on what I **think **might be going on in their house? I think my problem would be worse for me to be the one thinking up “evil” that never actually happens. And then, I can make it worse by talking about them to others, **even though I do not actually know the truth. **

Sometimes people need to just mind their own business.🤷
 
Tim_D said:
No, I really don’t. You see, most people have to sleep at night and most humans sleep in enclosed places. When people have a friend or an acquaintance who needs a place to stay for the night in a safe, secure, clean and friendly environment, we often offer the resources we have available. The word is hospitable.

To my thinking, the type of people who presume that overnight sleeping has an appearance of evil are those who either harbor evil thoughts and desires within themselves or are too immature to think like a rational adult. Believe it or not, but not everyone in this world is consumed with carnal desire for any and every person who becomes available to them.
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You don’t agree with this post?

acem.ca/en/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=336:should-dating-or-engaged-couples-travel-together
Even if you refrain from actual intercourse, or sleep in separate beds, you should not room together by yourselves because it’s a matter of maintaining purity. Consider this: Would you allow another man sleep next to your girlfriend or wife? Of course not. No matter how they defend or justify it, you would maintain that is is inappropriate. And that’s what I’m trying to get at: It’s not as much about what kind of physically boundaries we can cross as much as it is about what are we saying about the marriage commitment when we stay in one room. When you stay in a room together before marriage, you are attempting to enjoy the benefits of marriage without the commitment of marriage. This is both dishonoring to God and harmful to your long-term relationship.
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Two_of_Clubs said:
I have a friend who’s traveling and is going to stop by and visit.

Some relevant details: First, this is my parents’ house, so we wouldn’t have the place to ourselves (I don’t own my own apartment.) Second, I’d sleep in the family room, and she would take my room—no sleeping in the same bed.
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Sky_River said:
You don’t agree with this post?

acem.ca/en/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=336:should-dating-or-engaged-couples-travel-together
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Sky River, the link you posted is not a Catholic site. And again, it’s content does not apply to the OP’s case. I have included his post to refresh your memory.
 
Tim_D said:
No, I really don’t. You see, most people have to sleep at night and most humans sleep in enclosed places. When people have a friend or an acquaintance who needs a place to stay for the night in a safe, secure, clean and friendly environment, we often offer the resources we have available. The word is hospitable.

To my thinking, the type of people who presume that overnight sleeping has an appearance of evil are those who either harbor evil thoughts and desires within themselves or are too immature to think like a rational adult. Believe it or not, but not everyone in this world is consumed with carnal desire for any and every person who becomes available to them.
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Well said–and–I also agree with your post, too.
 
Sky_River said:
You don’t agree with this post?
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No, I don’t.

If a couple is immature enough to where they can’t trust themselves with each other behind closed doors, then they should avoid such circumstances.

If a couple is mature, then I don’t see a problem. There are times when options are limited by circumstances. I don’t see why a couple should pay for 2 expensive hotel rooms for the night when they can get 1 for half of the price. If they can’t trust each other in that situation, then there is no trust in any situation.

And often times, evil is in the eye of the beholder. What should be no business of others should also not be a cause for scandal or gossip.
 
Tim_D said:
No, I don’t.

If a couple is immature enough to where they can’t trust themselves with each other behind closed doors, then they should avoid such circumstances.

If a couple is mature, then I don’t see a problem. There are times when options are limited by circumstances. I don’t see why a couple should pay for 2 expensive hotel rooms for the night when they can get 1 for half of the price. If they can’t trust each other in that situation, then there is no trust in any situation.

And often times, evil is in the eye of the beholder. What should be no business of others should also not be a cause for scandal or gossip.
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The article says this.
Consider this: Would you allow another man sleep next to your girlfriend or wife? Of course not. No matter how they defend or justify it, you would maintain that is is inappropriate. And that’s what I’m trying to get at: It’s not as much about what kind of physically boundaries we can cross as much as it is about what are we saying about the marriage commitment when we stay in one room.
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You don’t think staying in different rooms is more in accordance with what pleases God?
 
Sky_River said:
The article says this.

You don’t think staying in different rooms is more in accordance with what pleases God?
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No. What pleases God is when we avoid sin. The manner in which we do it is inconsequential. By these examples, one could arrive at such far fetched conclusions as to saying that unmarried persons should not ride in the same car together unless there is some sort of “chaperon.” Ridiculous. If one is so immature that a few moments behind closed doors with a member of the opposite sex is an occasion of potential unbridled intercourse, then I would say that those people have bigger issues. You must realize that the issue is greater than just finding yourself alone with a member of the opposite sex. If a person, male or female, would engage in sex simply because the occasion presents itself, then they aren’t trying very hard to live a moral life. Just as there are men and women who would not engage in that sort of activity, there are many others who would. I’m sure that there are many male saints who, if tossed into the Sultan’s harem, would remain a paragon of virtue and morality.

Do you honestly think that God is more “pleased” with a man and woman who slept in different rooms without engaging in sex than a man and a woman who slept in the same room and did the same?
 
Tim_D said:
No. What pleases God is when we avoid sin. The manner in which we do it is inconsequential. By these examples, one could arrive at such far fetched conclusions as to saying that unmarried persons should not ride in the same car together unless there is some sort of “chaperon.” Ridiculous. If one is so immature that a few moments behind closed doors with a member of the opposite sex is an occasion of potential unbridled intercourse, then I would say that those people have bigger issues. You must realize that the issue is greater than just finding yourself alone with a member of the opposite sex. If a person, male or female, would engage in sex simply because the occasion presents itself, then they aren’t trying very hard to live a moral life. Just as there are men and women who would not engage in that sort of activity, there are many others who would. I’m sure that there are many male saints who, if tossed into the Sultan’s harem, would remain a paragon of virtue and morality.

Do you honestly think that God is more “pleased” with a man and woman who slept in different rooms without engaging in sex than a man and a woman who slept in the same room and did the same?
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You don’t agree with the quote?
 
Sky_River said:
Why is a situation like this at nighttime considered an appearance of evil but the daytime isnt?
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I’m not sure either one is, really. I wouldn’t assume a man and a woman are having sex if they slept in the same building at night, unless I knew them to be romantically involved.

And I’m not sure his friend needs to sleep under a bridge just because some nosy neighbor might jump to a dumb conclusion.
 
Tim_D said:
No I think it is nonsense. Only people who are so susceptible to bad actions need to think like that. An innocent mind does not even consider it.
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What about the marriage commitment quote.
 
Sky_River said:
whats that?
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It’s essentially where, instead of renting a room in an established hotel, you rent out a room in someone’s house. Some listings may specify the gender of the host; some may not. There’s also the risk that someone might be renting out multiple rooms.

I’m curious if people would consider renting from a member of the opposite sex to be an issue. For that matter, long-term rentals in people’s houses are also a thing, which could again lead to, say, a single young woman living in the house of a married couple.

Does the financial relationship make a difference?
 
Two_of_Clubs said:
I have a friend who’s traveling and is going to stop by and visit.

I’m male and she is female.

In any case, she would need to stay the night.

Some relevant details: First, this is my parents’ house, so we wouldn’t have the place to ourselves (I don’t own my own apartment.) Second, I’d sleep in the family room, and she would take my room—no sleeping in the same bed.

But I’m unsure whether I’d be committing a sin or not even under these circumstances. Any (name removed by moderator)ut would be appreciated!
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Do you think the night has more appearance of evil than the daytime?
 
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