Frustrated by husband’s views

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Sorry for your loss Tis bear.

halogirl… I agree with Tis try to take what good you get from hubby, even if he doesnt ever convert. Believe me even the ladies in church who do have husbands of the faith (or those of us happily single) often have family member’s that are lost to us, so there is quite likely to be open wounds of this nature all around you. You’d likely find nothing but empathy if you spoke about it to your fellow pew mates. My brother is lapsed and it is like a thorn in heart all the days, I do nothing but pray for my and occasionally add a word here and there. If I can get may parents to go to mass with me (we don’t live that near to each other and their attendance is sketchy but hopeful) my brother’s absence is a whole in my heart, my parents feel this too. So keep on praying and give the sadness and your concerns for your husband and his faith to God who will heal both of you, as you are of course one. God bless
 
This is probably not what you want to hear, but sometimes a conversion can take decades. I’ve seen it happen and I’ve heard people’s testimony of it happening; however, it is not quick. I wouldn’t lose sleep over your husband’s views. 😴

Strangely, I often see ladies sitting alone at church with a beautiful ring on their finger. Other than quietly saying to myself “Oh, too bad, that one is taken…”, I don’t think much else other than seeing them as a fellow Christian.
 
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Aw that’s sweet Jack 🙂 I’m not too worried how long it takes as long as it’s all ok in the end: will pray for you to find a nice lady 🙂
 
@Tis_Bearself there were some nuns at mass today and hubby whispered ‘ I dare you to go over there and say ‘ I loved you in The Conjuring’. ‘
 
I’m actually lucky as I know a young woman who discerning her vocation at the moment. She is going to live with an order soon for a trial period and she’s funny, quirky, and just loves the Lord so much. We are gutted to be losing her in our workplace but what a woman of God she will be
 
As one who converted more than a decade before her husband, I pushed and cajoled and tried - then I gave it all to God.

The Holy Spirit does the drawing. Your job is to be such a joyful person that your husband wants to know what you have.

There are some resources, like articles over at Strange Notions website (Trent Horn is a frequent contributor), the weekly podcasts by John C Wright & “Max Kolbe”, that can be interesting points of conversation to really whet the appetite for the truth. Maybe download the JCW/MK podcast about the Shroud of Turin and just listen to it on your next car trip or in the kitchen while you guys cook dinner (honestly, that one blew me AWAY).

I was you for years. When the Holy Spirit finally moved on my husband, when he was ready to come into full communion, at the very last Mass before his reception I began to cry because I had prayed all of these years for his conversion. “What will I have to pray for now?” brought me to tears.
 
TheLittleLady said:
The Holy Spirit does the drawing. Your job is to be such a joyful person that your husband wants to know what you have.
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Oh heck! I’m a worrier to the max and as such I don’t know that he sees that in me :confused: I am honestly a trial to him sometimes. I will
be stressing out about something and he will laugh and encourage me to go to confession or give me a cuddle but he doesn’t want to be a Catholic. Literally if two people were to meet us I think they would see God in him before they did in me. And they would wonder what God does for me
 
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We always put on ubi et orbi and he takes part but I don’t know how much he’s doing it for himself rather than for me
 
It is a process and a journey. You are still a “baby Catholic”, and this is an important time in your spiritual life. Keep growing 🙂
 
You’ve really hit the nail on the head 🙂 I am one of those people who wants everything to be perfect, and yesterday ! 😆 I pick things up quickly and I get frustrated if I am not the perfect whatever, by a certain time. I have ridiculous expectations and timelines in a lot of areas.
 
halogirl said:
You’ve really hit the nail on the head
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A start.

Light candles.

Big ones.

That way, if he won’t see things as you show him, you have a heavy candlestick holder with which you. can, uhm . . .

:crazy_face:🤣😱

hawk
 
Besides prayer & setting a good example (obviously, they come first), get some Green Scapulars, have them blessed, and give one to your husband. If he’s not amenable to wearing it, hide one in the bedroom, kitchen, car - any place he frequents, and pray the Green Scapular prayer for him:

“Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.”

If you can’t find a good Catholic bookstore near you, then try this:

https://www.greenscapular.com/

God bless!
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Just pray for your husband and meet him where he is.
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Exactly. All we can do. Realize God is here, watching over us. Never giving more than we can handle but preparing us for the glory yet to come.
halogirl said:
He’s wonderful but I’m just getting worried I’m always gonna be that lady at mass without her husband
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My biggest obstacle to holiness, I believe, is that I think everything is about me. Thinking about your situation I feel as if God may be asking you to bear through this for a reason. I don’t know what that reason is. & I don’t think it’s important to dwell on it, trying to figure it out.

Just trust Him, bear this for the love of God. All things work toward good for those who love God.
 
You can turn that around. I’ve been brought to thinking that choosing a catholic wife would be wise. But then the woman God has put in my path haven’t been catholic.

So, if I do go for a wife that isn’t catholic I’m preparing myself for what that means. And I’m more worried about accepting her as she is than about conversion which experience has taught me to leave up to God. Since being a good “other half” plus a good Christian is hard enough.
 
halogirl said:
He has a much less complex relationship with God than me. He is thankful and loving to all. I’m the judgemental overthinking one
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Sounds like a match made in heaven. Seriously! You complement each other. Because you have different strengths, you each have something to give that the other needs. I think that’s what marriage is all about.

My wife and I are a bit like that. I once told a priest that I thought I was more religious than my wife. (We’re both Catholic, but miles apart in our approach.) He gently suggested that my wife is close to God in her own way, and holier than I might think. He is absolutely right!
 
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