Frustrated with talking during Mass

[StRoch]

hello, I just feel the need to vent a little about my frustration with talking during Mass at my parish. Is it just me or does there seem to be more and more talking during Mass these days? To me there is nothing more frustrating than sitting in front of a family that is chatty during Mass. I understand that young children can get squirmy and bored at Mass, I didn’t really like going to church either as a kid, but when you get the adult continuing to talk to the child during the Mass, and carry on conversations instead of letting them know not to talk during Mass, it just drives me crazy!!! Sometimes I feel like turning around and saying “Why are you here if you’re going to talk!!!” Sometimes I’ll turn my head a little and sorta look behind me trying to give them a hint, but that usually doesn’t do anything. I try to block it out and have said prayers trying to give me more patience to help ignore it, but sometimes it just really bugs me. It’s disturbing to the people around you and not to mention rude towards either the priest or the lecture who is speaking. Is it really that difficult to be quiet for one hour once a week!!! ugh! Is there anyone else out there feeling the same way? Or am I being too sensitive. Thanks for reading, needed to vent.

 

[PazzoGrande]

I hear you. I used to use it as an opportunity to enhance my concentration abilities, just being able to tune them out. I read John Paul II was the same way when there would be a noisy kid visiting the Papal Chapel.

Sometimes I just have to move to another seat. I hate doing that because it signals irritation to the other person and could make them feel bad, but on the other hand they shouldn’t be talking anyway and my worship experience matters more.

I can do you one worse though. In my parish, we have monastic seating, so the two sides are facing each other. There used to be a lady who used to go to Mass and did weird things (raised her hands exaggeratedly, kneeled when it wasn’t called for and dressed in weird clothes). She’d sit right by the altar and because of the seating of the parish, there is no place where you could sit where she wouldn’t be in your view. I couldn’t just get up and move to block her out.

That, my friend, is maddening, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t just block her out of my mind. She isn’t being disruptive exactly (not like she’s chatting it up with someone else) so it’s not like anyone can shush her. How does one deal with cases like this? You can post up a sign that says “No talking” but you can’t exactly make a sign to remedy that.

 

[YoungCatholic86]

It is the same way with me. I get really annoyed too by people talking in mass but I try to ignore it as best as I can.

 

[The_Curt_Jester]

There are lots of frustrating things people do at Mass. Talking, gum-chewing, walking around, running (kids with parents who don’t care), playing games (on phone or mini game stations), texting, talking on phone (I’ve seen this!), wearing hats in church (I speak of men, I know it’s okay for women!), correcting the priest during Mass, dressing like they just got out of the pool, and so on. It really speaks to the state of many Catholics these days and why our clergy have to start instructing them!

 

[ljsedivy]

There are lots of frustrating things people do at Mass. Talking, gum-chewing, walking around, running (kids with parents who don’t care), playing games (on phone or mini game stations), texting, talking on phone (I’ve seen this!), wearing hats in church (I speak of men, I know it’s okay for women!), correcting the priest during Mass, dressing like they just got out of the pool, and so on. It really speaks to the state of many Catholics these days and why our clergy have to start instructing them!

Couldn’t agree more.

 

[InspiritCarol]

I hear you. I used to use it as an opportunity to enhance my concentration abilities, just being able to tune them out. I read John Paul II was the same way when there would be a noisy kid visiting the Papal Chapel.

Sometimes I just have to move to another seat. I hate doing that because it signals irritation to the other person and could make them feel bad, but on the other hand they shouldn’t be talking anyway and my worship experience matters more.

I can do you one worse though. In my parish, we have monastic seating, so the two sides are facing each other. There used to be a lady who used to go to Mass and did weird things (raised her hands exaggeratedly, kneeled when it wasn’t called for and dressed in weird clothes). She’d sit right by the altar and because of the seating of the parish, there is no place where you could sit where she wouldn’t be in your view. I couldn’t just get up and move to block her out.

That, my friend, is maddening, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t just block her out of my mind. She isn’t being disruptive exactly (not like she’s chatting it up with someone else) so it’s not like anyone can shush her. How does one deal with cases like this? You can post up a sign that says “No talking” but you can’t exactly make a sign to remedy that.

We had to deal with a woman exactly like this. Did she try to “pray for” everyone, too?
The one at our church became progressively more aggressive. It was a true nightmare.

You should have the priest talk with her.

 

[maryjk]

Luke 18:10-14

10 'Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax collector.

11 The Pharisee stood there and said this prayer to himself, "I thank you, God, that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous like everyone else, and particularly that I am not like this tax collector here.

12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes on all I get."

13 The tax collector stood some distance away, not daring even to raise his eyes to heaven; but he beat his breast and said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

14 This man, I tell you, went home again justified; the other did not. For everyone who raises himself up will be humbled, but anyone who humbles himself will be raised up.’

 

[ADiosgracias]

What if they are trying to explain to the kids what is going on? Sometimes is happened to me that i had to explain words, gestures, or the situation during mass.

 

[MissRose73]

I’d rather a parent be trying to explain in a very quiet voice what is going to a child or better yet, wait until Mass is done if possible. Kids do belong at Mass, and parents need to teach them how to behave themselves without the help of toys/snacks as much as possible & what is going on.

I also am frustrated with a lot of talking before and after Mass in the worship space. A few word exchanges between people in a very low volume doesn’t bother me but talking in normal volumes of voice can be annoying to those who wish to spend time in silent prayer and/or reflection before/after Mass. I’d much rather that I hear the recitation of the Rosary and/Devotions before Mass compared to constant talking. I remember going to a parish one time and it was very loud in the worship space before Mass started, and I have not been back there since then.

Certainly other things frustrate me at Mass besides the unneeded talking like the lack of modest and decent dress by many - both genders, people not genuflecting before entering their seats before Mass starts towards the Blessed Sacrament, kids & teens playing with electronics/toys at Mass, people not remembering to silence their devices before Mass, etc. Its up to the priests to address the issues from the pulpit at weekend Masses on Saturday evenings and Sundays plus discuss them in the bulletin.

 

[StRoch]

Luke 18:10-14

I’m not sure what you’re getting at with this passage. I don’t feel I’m passing judgment on people that are talking during Mass. Am I wrong to get frustrated when it happens?

 

[Cathryn]

The last time this topic came up someone gave some great advice about getting a missal and following closely the Mass. I do this now and am too absorbed in what the priest is doing and saying, and giving the proper responses for anything to bother me. I have all the prayers the priest is praying, much more than is just in the missalette. I literally have the noises and people tuned out. Sitting up front help enormously also. It is usually empty in the best and quietest spots in the Church.

 

[maryjk]

To me there is nothing more frustrating than sitting in front of a family that is chatty during Mass.

I can think of 1000 things more frustrating. I think right now, it was dealing with all of the doctors when my father was dying. It might be dealing with trying to settle the estate.

I understand that young children can get squirmy and bored at Mass, I didn’t really like going to church either as a kid, but when you get the adult continuing to talk to the child during the Mass, and carry on conversations instead of letting them know not to talk during Mass, it just drives me crazy!!! Sometimes I feel like turning around and saying “Why are you here if you’re going to talk!!!” Sometimes I’ll turn my head a little and sorta look behind me trying to give them a hint, but that usually doesn’t do anything. I try to block it out and have said prayers trying to give me more patience to help ignore it, but sometimes it just really bugs me. It’s disturbing to the people around you and not to mention rude towards either the priest or the lecture who is speaking. Is it really that difficult to be quiet for one hour once a week!!! ugh! Is there anyone else out there feeling the same way? Or am I being too sensitive. Thanks for reading, needed to vent.

Maybe it is for them.

I’m not sure what you’re getting at with this passage. I don’t feel I’m passing judgment on people that are talking during Mass. Am I wrong to get frustrated when it happens?

Wrong to be frustrated? Of course not.

Wrong that nothing makes you more frustrated? I would say yes.

It is easy to pick out others sins. Not so much our own.

 

[yogicat]

Wow as a kid, if my siblings and I ever talked during Mass, we wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week!!!

There’s nothing wrong with being frustrated, I feel the same way at Mass when people are chatting. I listened to two teenagers flirting last Sunday…ugh. I suppose this is why I shouldn’t sit near the back, but I’ve always enjoyed taking in the whole view.

 

[Cathryn]

Wow as a kid, if my siblings and I ever talked during Mass, we wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week!!!

There’s nothing wrong with being frustrated, I feel the same way at Mass when people are chatting. I listened to two teenagers flirting last Sunday…ugh. I suppose this is why I shouldn’t sit near the back, but I’ve always enjoyed taking in the whole view.

The whole view isn’t always a pretty picture! I would rather be as close as possible.

 

[StRoch]

I can think of 1000 things more frustrating. I think right now, it was dealing with all of the doctors when my father was dying. It might be dealing with trying to settle the estate.
Maybe it is for them.

Wrong to be frustrated? Of course not.
**
Wrong that nothing makes you more frustrated? I would say yes.**

It is easy to pick out others sins. Not so much our own.

Yes of course there are a lot of other things that are very frustrating too going on in my life. By making that comment I am not saying my life is so simple that this is the worst thing that is going on in my life now. What is frustrating is, with all the other stuff that I, and everyone else has to deal with in their everyday lives, you would think that the one place you can find peace and solace in, is Mass. But it’s becoming more times than not, that it isn’t. And yes, I probably should be able to find peace and solace there at any time, no matter what. That is something I wish to do and hopefully can some day.

 

[Jegudiel]

hello, I just feel the need to vent a little about my frustration with talking during Mass at my parish. Is it just me or does there seem to be more and more talking during Mass these days? To me there is nothing more frustrating than sitting in front of a family that is chatty during Mass. I understand that young children can get squirmy and bored at Mass, I didn’t really like going to church either as a kid, but when you get the adult continuing to talk to the child during the Mass, and carry on conversations instead of letting them know not to talk during Mass, it just drives me crazy!!! Sometimes I feel like turning around and saying “Why are you here if you’re going to talk!!!” Sometimes I’ll turn my head a little and sorta look behind me trying to give them a hint, but that usually doesn’t do anything. I try to block it out and have said prayers trying to give me more patience to help ignore it, but sometimes it just really bugs me. It’s disturbing to the people around you and not to mention rude towards either the priest or the lecture who is speaking. Is it really that difficult to be quiet for one hour once a week!!! ugh! Is there anyone else out there feeling the same way? Or am I being too sensitive. Thanks for reading, needed to vent.

People talk because pastors allow it. The worst group around here seems to be “the greatest generation” who seem to have lost the meaning of “common courtesy” which my parents hammered into my head growing it. People will continue to talk until some priests live up to their vocations as pastors and direct them not to.

There are people who attend Mass when I do that grunt-out ejaculatory prayers during Mass, loudly emasculate the responses, etc. It’s all about being rude, trying to bring attention to onself and pastors not living up to their vocations.

 

[StRoch]

I’d rather a parent be trying to explain in a very quiet voice what is going to a child or better yet, wait until Mass is done if possible. Kids do belong at Mass, and parents need to teach them how to behave themselves without the help of toys/snacks as much as possible & what is going on.
.

 

[Cathryn]

People talk because pastors allow it. The worst group around here seems to be “the greatest generation” who seem to have lost the meaning of “common courtesy” which my parents hammered into my head growing it. People will continue to talk until some priests live up to their vocations as pastors and direct them not to.

There are people who attend Mass when I do that grunt-out ejaculatory prayers during Mass, loudly emasculate the responses, etc. It’s all about being rude, trying to bring attention to onself and pastors not living up to their vocations.

We have an aging population in my parish the loudest are the elderly because they are hard of hearing, especially during the quiet daily Masses we have. There is one couple that belt out the old responses instead of the new. At the quiet time after Communion, the husband always has something to say to his wife in a loud voice. He thinks he is wispering. It all comes with the territory. The members of the Body of Christ are not perfect, and the Masses we come together and celebrate will not be perfect either. Hopefully patience and long suffering and just about all the other fruits of the Holy Spirit come into play and are developed at Mass as well as out in the world.

 

[PazzoGrande]

We had to deal with a woman exactly like this. Did she try to “pray for” everyone, too?
The one at our church became progressively more aggressive. It was a true nightmare.

You should have the priest talk with her.

How did she “pray for” everyone?

I wonder how a priest would address this. It’s not easy or pleasant. The person could be worshipping in earnest and maybe is a bit overenthusiastic, I wouldn’t even know how to ask them to tone it down if I were in the unfortunate priest’s shoes.

At another parish I go to, there is this lady that prays everything loudly, she’s louder than the whole weekday congregation combined. She says it in a loud, motonous voice (I think perhaps she isn’t mentally all there). She moves onto the next prayers quickly (like she’ll be the first to start saying “Lamb of God” while the Sign of Peace is still ongoing) and because of her volume, everyone would follow. It makes it hard to concentrate too but fortunately this didn’t bother me as much as the lady that I mentioned in my previous post where I couldn’t just block her out of my mind because of where she sat and how she acted.

 

[PazzoGrande]

We have an aging population in my parish the loudest are the elderly because they are hard of hearing, especially during the quiet daily Masses we have. There is one couple that belt out the old responses instead of the new. At the quiet time after Communion, the husband always has something to say to his wife in a loud voice. He thinks he is wispering. It all comes with the territory. The members of the Body of Christ are not perfect, and the Masses we come together and celebrate will not be perfect either. Hopefully patience and long suffering and just about all the other fruits of the Holy Spirit come into play and are developed at Mass as well as out in the world.

Once during the Good Friday Liturgy, an older lady sat behind me and kept talking. Because it was Good Friday, the seating was full and I couldn’t move. She kept on complaining about random things in the Liturgy and when the donation basket came around, she had to ask “Is this for the donations?” (Obviously, why else would they be passing it around?)

I think in her case, she’s probably retired and is lonely so she doesn’t have anything else going on, so she needs attention. That’s unfortunate too.

There are times God sends us these people so we can exercise our spiritual muscle as we’d have to work harder to concentrate. But unfortunately with too many cases, you can’t ignore them and they aren’t acting out for any excuseable reason but perhaps out of boredom or whatever. I can understand and be patient with that lonely older woman but who can understand and be patient with those who just have no respect for the solemn quiet?