Gay Friend and support?

  • Thread starter Thread starter anon98328916
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
anon98328916 said:
Supporting a homosexual relationship? How do I approach this without hurting their feelings?
Click to expand...
I treat them with the same respect as I would anyone else. If eventually there’s a time when it’s appropriate to speak on this topic (and I’m careful to not make such a time up), I merely say that I’m Catholic and I believe as the Catholic Church teaches. No one’s ever seemed interested in going any deeper into the conversation. I have a number of very close homosexual friends and even had one young lesbian ask me to be her sponsor in NA, so I guess it’s working pretty well.
 
I wouldn’t dare assume what he approves or disapproves, but I don’t go about questioning others faith either.
 
ListensToTheDead said:
God doesn’t make mistakes. Sometimes I honestly believe a bigger open gay population is his grand scheme to see how tolerant and if we truly can treat each other like brothers. Since we “all” are Gods children after all.
Click to expand...
Does this mean you consider all birth defects as God’s “decision”.
 
Rau said:
40.png
ListensToTheDead:
God doesn’t make mistakes. Sometimes I honestly believe a bigger open gay population is his grand scheme to see how tolerant and if we truly can treat each other like brothers. Since we “all” are Gods children after all.
Click to expand...
Does this mean you consider all birth defects as God’s “decision”.
Click to expand...
If God is omniscient and knows about all birth defects that will occur and could prevent them but chooses not to, then it is God’s decision that these birth defects exists.
 
Last edited:
I agree, I don’t know how or when he chooses to intervene.

Sometimes I wonder if he lets some go thru on purpose like the saying goes, desperation is the mother of innovation. Curious if Helene Keller was a gift to mankind. I can’t even imagine her strength but because of her, society and mankind was in awe of someone like her and her disabilities.

If you are around people training or working towards the Special Olympics, you are truly humbled and frankly ashamed that one could ever complain of anything in life. They are true inspirations and despite having learning disabilities or kids with missing limbs who go onto Para Olympic Games. I too wonder if they aren’t just a test of our tolerance, compassion and just a sense of seeing the true definition of grit and how they see themselves and aspire others to just seem them as normal is astounding imo.

Between you and me, I think God and the Angels & Saints set our birth and expiration date. If you are lucky they might set up a chance to meet a loved one or soul mate. We are just fortunate that we were given the gift of life.

Now if you have a messed up sense of humor like a good Catholic. We know that this passage is just temporary and this body is only temporary, so I ask you to contemplate the following.

If a person has near saint like mannerisms because say they survived a life of amputations because of cancer or the people who lose their sight and are humbled because of it. When they get a new body can they see again and therefore change their personality over time since they are “normal” again ?
 
Last edited:
anon98328916 said:
They have met someone in recent months, and now they want me to meet them, my worry is, if I support this am I committing a sin? Supporting a homosexual relationship? How do I approach this without hurting their feelings? Do I just meet their new partner and tell them I liked them etc but am I offending God?
Click to expand...
My first thoughts are why would this friend want to put you in the position of having to accept what is blatantly agains your religion and, does this friend know that you are against homosexual relationships?

I would see no reason to meet this other person and and find some way to say it to your friend as gently as possible. “My friend, I care deeply for you and want to support you in all ways that are healthy and good for you. You know how dear my faith is to me and what it teaches about same sex acts and relationships. I know that you do not see this relationship in the same way that I do but deep down I believe this to be a big mistake on your part and hope that you reconsider this relationship. I want to support you but supporting the relationship, in my mind, would only be me lying to you and hurting you and I cannot do that to you. I know this may seem hurtful but I value our friendship because it is built on respect and trust. I only want to be honest and forthright with you because we are friends. I do not know the person that you want me to meet but I only want what is best for you both and am not able to support your relationship, I can only support you in the best way that I know how. In my mind that is being honest with you up front about all of this. Should you bring this person around I will absolutely be cordial and nice but unable to pretend that it is a healthy normal relationship that I support which may, occasionally, depending on the situation, put me in a position to state my faith or excuse myself from the situation. I only want what is best for you and want honesty to be a part of our friendship.”
 
EXdrinker said:
40.png
anon98328916:
They have met someone in recent months, and now they want me to meet them, my worry is, if I support this am I committing a sin? Supporting a homosexual relationship? How do I approach this without hurting their feelings? Do I just meet their new partner and tell them I liked them etc but am I offending God?
Click to expand...
My first thoughts are why would this friend want to put you in the position of having to accept what is blatantly agains your religion and, does this friend know that you are against homosexual relationships?

I would see no reason to meet this other person…
Click to expand...
What if the OP’s friend hadn’t told the OP that they were in a sexual relationship with this other person and had merely said that’s they wanted to introduce the OP to a good friend? Or what if the friend had told the OP that they wanted to introduce them to their roommate? Based upon what the OP would then know, would meeting this new person still be problematic in your opinion? Years ago, I brought my partner to family gatherings and told my family that he was my “roommate.” I felt that I had to conceal an important part of myself, but it also felt a little dishonest to me.

Also, it seems to me that you’re reducing the relationship between the friend and this new person to nothing more than sex. But the friend no doubt loves this new person in their life for many other reasons besides sexual attraction. Perhaps they also love them because they’re kind and have a good sense of humor and share many interests in common and the friend wants to introduce them to the OP because of these qualities.
 
Last edited:
Thorolfr said:
What if the OP’s friend hadn’t told the OP that they were in a sexual relationship with this other person and had merely said that’s they wanted to introduce the OP to a good friend? Or what if the friend had told the OP that they wanted to introduce them to their roommate? Based upon what the OP would then know, would meeting this new person still be problematic in your opinion?
Click to expand...
No, why would it? The OP would then not be supporting a relationship that was damaging to a friend’s well-being.
Also, it seems to me that you’re reducing the relationship between the friend and this new person to nothing more than sex. But the friend no doubt loves this new person in their life for many other reasons besides sexual attraction. Perhaps they also love them because they’re kind and have a good sense of humor and share many interests in common and the friend wants to introduce them to the OP because of these qualities.
Click to expand...
I am very sure that this is the case. Still, supporting a relationship that is inherently detrimental to a friend’s well-being is not friendship. It is the exact opposite of friendship and unloving.
 
I am seeing some weird definitions of friendship in this thread.

OP, define for yourself what a good friend is. Then decide if you can be that. If not, don’t pretend because that is cruel. Move on. But I would hope you wouldn’t need to.
 
I take your point. I think God does not encourage sin of any sort. Homosexually is not a sin until the person acts on those feelings and desires, Cohabitating, sex before marriage etc are all sinful in God’s eyes. I don’t think God wants any of us to live in sin, we are all in fact made to be Saints and try and avoid sin, God knew how hard this would be, hense the reason Jesus created Confession.
 
Last edited:
I have been friends with this person for a long time. I don’t question my friendship at all. My worry is, my Catholic faith is important and I must always make decision that puts Jesus first, at the same time I don’t want to hurt my friend in any way. I tend to keep my beliefs very private, I think the best thing to do is meet and be friendly as respect to my friend.
 
EXdrinker said:
I am very sure that this is the case. Still, supporting a relationship that is inherently detrimental to a friend’s well-being is not friendship. It is the exact opposite of friendship and unloving.
Click to expand...
If a person agrees to meet with someone’s significant other and be polite, that doesn’t mean that they are “supporting” the relationship. When I’ve brought my same-sex partner to family gatherings in more recent years (they all know he’s my partner), what would you expect my more conservative relatives to do? And I’ve also avoided bringing up anything in conversation that might push anyone’s buttons or cause discomfort. Best to keep the family peace and not say anything unpleasant or controversial.
 
Last edited:
Thorolfr said:
If a person agrees to meet with someone’s significant other and be polite, that doesn’t mean that they are “supporting” the relationship. When I’ve brought my same-sex partner to family gatherings in more recent years (they all know he’s my partner), what would you expect my more conservative relatives to do? Best to keep the family peace and not say anything unpleasant.
Click to expand...
I expect they will all be nice and cordial. If it is at the home of someone who will not support that relationship I expect that they would politely explain why they are asking them to leave the gathering. Or, if the conversation turns to a discussion of the relationship out in the open then I expect they would also give their opinion of why that relationship is detrimental to those in it and to society at large. Barring these things it will likely be nice and cordial.
 
EXdrinker said:
If it is at the home of someone who will not support that relationship I expect that they would politely explain why they are asking them to leave the gathering.
Click to expand...
You can already see what would happen. If my partner and I were asked to leave, then my parents and other relatives who are close to me would also leave and it would split the family. It’s unlikely that we’d all be getting together again after that. Fortunately, we avoid all discussions about religion and politics and have a good time.
 
Last edited:
Thorolfr said:
You can already see what would happen. If my partner and I were asked to leave, then my parents and other relatives who are close to me would also leave and it would split the family. It’s unlikely that we’d all be getting together again after that. Fortunately, we avoid all discussions about religion and politics and have a good time.
Click to expand...
Sometimes we are called to split the family for the Truth as The Lord said would happen.
 
EXdrinker said:
40.png
Thorolfr:
You can already see what would happen. If my partner and I were asked to leave, then my parents and other relatives who are close to me would also leave and it would split the family. It’s unlikely that we’d all be getting together again after that. Fortunately, we avoid all discussions about religion and politics and have a good time.
Click to expand...
Sometimes we are called to split the family for the Truth as The Lord said would happen.
Click to expand...
Yes. I can already see not only families being split, but also whole nations. I’m reminded of what Abraham Lincoln said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
 
Thorolfr said:
“A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
Click to expand...
Amen! This division will be an undoing of the nation should it continue too long. Foisting evil on the nation through the courts splits us apart.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top