Gay to Straight?

[ladybri77]

Maybe, just maybe, God is greater than you can imagine. Just something to consider.

Gertie

And He can heal any hurting psyche. Let’s not put Him in a box. As He healed the leper, He can heal homosexuals and the underlying confusion/causation of a person’s gender identity if He so well desires. This has been documented time and time again.

All praise and honor and glory to Jesus through Whom “All things are possible.” - He is The Great Physician. “Come to Me…”

 

[mkingdomlvr]

And He can heal any hurting psyche. Let’s not put Him in a box. As He healed the leper, He can heal homosexuals and the underlying confusion/causation of a person’s gender identity if He so well desires. This has been documented time and time again.

All praise and honor and glory to Jesus through Whom “All things are possible.” - He is The Great Physician. “Come to Me…”

but again, what do we say to the gay person that wasn’t “healed”?

We’ve come a long way since the days when we believed disease was caused by the person’s sin or the sin of their family. Why are we still using that language in respect to our homosexual brothers and sisters?

Being gay isn’t a disease.

 

[ladybri77]

but again, what do we say to the gay person that wasn’t “healed”?

We’ve come a long way since the days when we believed disease was caused by the person’s sin or the sin of their family. Why are we still using that language in respect to our homosexual brothers and sisters?

Being gay isn’t a disease.

Like I wrote in a previous post, He doesn’t heal everyone. For the most part it is a cross to bear for all who feel this way. I also wrote it’s just like Peter’s thorn, there to keep us humbled and dependent on Him.

What needs to be healed is the person’s emotions and mind in this case. “…but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2.

Jesus heals whomever He wants for whatever reasons, but if we learn to submit to His grace and Mercy and work on resolving our issues, then anything is possible, maybe if at all, the Grace just to bear our Cross.

 

[Gertabelle]

I believe I wrote that I do not doubt anyone’s feelings. ** I’m glad you’ve come to peace in your life-however your SINGLE experience does not mean that what worked for you will work for every other LGBT human being on the planet. **

I said in my original post that my journey is not reproducible, because it is personal. But my case proves that it is possible. Ten years ago I could have been one of your friends who “just couldn’t change,” who were “born that way.” That’s what I believed myself to be. You can only show compassion as an outsider. I can understand from having been on the inside of this world that there is the possibility of change.

What do you say to the person who has tried all that you have-and it hasn’t worked for them? That God doesn’t love them as much as He loves you because He didn’t “fix” them?

I have a personal compassion and tenderness for those who are still dealing with SSA born from having been there. I also suffered through the suicide of my dearest friend who was also dealing with SSA. I know the struggles, the dangers, the traps. I also know the merciful, infinite love of God that sustained me and eventually brought me Home.

When I talk with my gay and lesbian friends, it is always always always about God’s love. And if I give them any advice, it is always to seek God, to unite their hearts with God, and to place God above all else in their lives.

Please stop trying to make me into some sort of monster who goes around trying to destroy other people. I exercise more caution than you can imagine, because I’ve been there personally and experienced the extraordinary pain and confusion and the sorrow of suicide.

Gertie

 

[ladybri77]

For those who are gay and are curious about changing, or even longing for change, I can only recommend united your heart with God, regardless of your circumstances or choices. Place your relationship with God above all things, and trust in His absolute love for you.

For those of you who are straight, devout Catholics, I beg of you to love God’s children with compassion, with a willingness to both acknowledge your ignorance and the power of God’s grace in your own life.

Gertie

Yes, place your relationship with God above all things!

Congratulations, Gertie! You are one of those that received complete healing. My desires have diminished, but I still struggle from time to time, especially with emotional dependence. I have not made strong same-sex friendships yet, and that may be the reason for the small amount of SSA I still have. But I know God heals slowly, in His own time.

I have never been married but have been open to it all my life. Obviously, God wants me to put Him first and not be dependent on any human before I can be ready to get married. I have always been straight with a predisposition to trying to fill an emotional need for mother love of which I have unsuccessfully turned to other women for. Only God can meet this need, I know. I think I still need to open my heart completely to Him. Lord, help me.

 

[Musician]

Yes, place your relationship with God above all things!

Congratulations, Gertie! You are one of those that received complete healing. My desires have diminished, but I still struggle from time to time, especially with emotional dependence. I have not made strong same-sex friendships yet, and that may be the reason for the small amount of SSA I still have. But I know God heals slowly, in His own time.

I have never been married but have been open to it all my life. Obviously, God wants me to put Him first and not be dependent on any human before I can be ready to get married. I have always been straight with a predisposition to trying to fill an emotional need for mother love of which I have unsuccessfully turned to other women for. Only God can meet this need, I know. I think I still need to open my heart completely to Him. Lord, help me.

I understand completely. I too struggle with SSA but thank God for the Sacraments. I have slipped and fallen but my loving Jesus is always there to pick me up through the Sacrament of Penance. It is definitely possible to live “straight” and even get married - I should know, I have had a very happy marriage for over 20 years. I truly hope and pray that God blesses you with a lifetime companion…Try praying for the intercession of St. Anne. Just a suggestion. God bless you!

 

[fatherwannabe]

There is alot of negativity here - and I hope I can bring a bit of light.

For many people, homosexual tendencies are rooted in issues of abandonment of father, mother or others. They can also be rooted in issues of dependency, There are typically three types of homosexuality - compulsive, symptomatic and episodic.

Compulsive - these tendencies are rooted in youth as a result of disturbed mother-child relations. It results in a psychosexual separation from the mother and can result in disturbances in core gender identities. Here the main motivation is not sexual gratification but use of sex as a way of dealing with the anxieties arising from dee-seated threats of isolation and helplessness.

Symptomatic - this is homosexuality as a symptom of a more deep-rooted personality problem. Here one resolves conflicts which have been sexualized. Here there can be a fear of heterosexuality, unresolved dominance or power needs, or needs of dependency.

Episodic - this is the catch-all category - situational, variational. Includes those who engage in activity occasionally or regularly but whose basic orientation is considered heterosexual. This occurs frequently during adolescence, or when “straight” relationships aren’t possible.

My friend, there are people, I believe, who are wired “gay”. But there are many people who are “gay” because they just can’t figure themselves out. I won’t deign to know where you fall, but I have advice for you.

First, find a priest whom you trust to be your spiritual director. Approach him and tell him you want to talk to him. If you don’t know any priests, call your chancery and ask for help in locating a spiritual director. You might not be comfortable talking about this issue right away, but after a short time you will trust him. Confide EVERYTHING in him - your struggles, your pain, your experiences. Believe me, he’s heard worse. Tell him exactly what you wrote here. He can help you work through your thoughts, feelings and desires and understand where your orientation is grounded.

Secondly, you must commit yourself to a radical conversion. You must be prepared for Christ to work in your life. If you ask him sincerely and passionately to help you in this, he will. BIG TIME! He loves you more than you know. Unconditionally. And he wants you to know how much he loves you and how much you are worth to him. You must believe this or you’re going to be hitting your head against a wall.

Once you have opened your heart to Him, he will transform you in ways you can’t imagine. I’ve seen it in many people. It’s WONDERFUL.

I will pray for you! If you need further guidance, please let me know.

 

[CarlaOLS]

Woot Jack! LOOK at the abundance of encouragement and advice you are receiveing from those who know.

GOD IS SO GOOD! PRAISE and Glory to you Jesus! Thank you for LadyB, Gertabelle, Musician, Fatherwannabe and so many others who’ve been there where Jack is and who can lead him to the truth through their experience of God’s love and mercy!!

Praise God! It is not the easy path or the wide one but the narrow one that leads to heaven and all these have found it. May we never stray.

 

[ladybri77]

I understand completely. I too struggle with SSA but thank God for the Sacraments. I have slipped and fallen but my loving Jesus is always there to pick me up through the Sacrament of Penance. It is definitely possible to live “straight” and even get married - I should know, I have had a very happy marriage for over 20 years. I truly hope and pray that God blesses you with a lifetime companion…Try praying for the intercession of St. Anne. Just a suggestion. God bless you!

Thank you, Musician, and thank you Fatherwannabe for your insight. I’m sure Jack will benefit much from this information.

 

[jessie_24]

Jack, I agree with Mr. Edward Leblanc. God made you, you for a reason that only he knows. I am a straight, 23 year old female with a cousin who is gay and I still love him to death. Being gay or straight is not a choice, so you can’t “turn straight”. I don’t believe that God hates gay people, why would he hate someone so wonderful that he made, you. So, keep your head up and remember: God loves you no matter what.

 

[ladybri77]

Jack, I agree with Mr. Edward Leblanc. God made you, you for a reason that only he knows. I am a straight, 23 year old female with a cousin who is gay and I still love him to death. Being gay or straight is not a choice, so you can’t “turn straight”. I don’t believe that God hates gay people, why would he hate someone so wonderful that he made, you. So, keep your head up and remember: God loves you no matter what.

Even if one has a gay attraction, they can “choose” to act on it or not based on their religious beliefs or if they just don’t choose that lifestyle. The behavior is a choice, the attraction is not. However, one can turn it over to God and ask Him for His Grace and Mercy not to act out. One can also ask the Lord to show him the root cause, and ask Him to heal it, whatever it is. But it’s all in God’s timing and sometimes takes a lifetime to heal from certain emotional wounds from which gay attractions stem from.

It’s a cross to bear but can be used in a powerful way for God’s purposes and can lead one closer to God because they have to depend on Him for strength. So the main purpose is not so much asking God to take the feelings away as it is becoming closer to the Lord and allowing Him to heal deep wounds from the past. There have been many people who have been healed or had the feelings lessened by not acting out or remaining celibate and turning their lives and hurts over to the Lord. T

There are two ministries as well as others that help people stay celibate and receive God’s healing, Courage, the Catholic ministry and Exodus.

God doesn’t hate gays, He loves everyone who struggle.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

I don’t believe God hates gays at all, in fact that’s why I struggle so mightily with the Conservative Christian responses regarding gay people.

 

[ladybri77]

I don’t believe God hates gays at all, in fact that’s why I struggle so mightily with the Conservative Christian responses regarding gay people.

Conservative Christians don’t “hate” gays. Some fanatical people might, but not most Christians. We are called to love the sinner and hate the sin. When we speak the Truth, we are speaking out of love so that no one should perish eternally and so that they may be protected from a destructive lifestyle, if we indeed speak the truth with love and compassion.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

Conservative Christians don’t “hate” gays. Some fanatical people might, but not most Christians. We are called to love the sinner and hate the sin. When we speak the Truth, we are speaking out of love so that no one should perish eternally and so that they may be protected from a destructive lifestyle, if we indeed speak the truth with love and compassion.

I don’t find a whole lot of love in being compared to a pedophile or being told that I should “change” my orientation-which was the way God created me. I don’t find a whole lot of love in the word “disordered”-and I’ve heard all the justifications for that word, but the bottom line is that it sends the message that we are created “wrong”. I don’t find a whole lot of love in being told that my family must have done something wrong in raising me to “cause” me to become gay-when I know that all they ever did was model God’s unconditional love to me since the day I was born. I don’t find a lot of love in being told that because of my orientation, I’m suffering some sort of mental illness or disease, and am more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol-something I’ve NEVER done in nearly 50 years on this earth. I don’t find a lot of love in watching my friends become victims of violence. I don’t find a lot of love in a Church that would force an employee to resign because of unsubstantiated rumors that they were gay.

Would you?

 

[ladybri77]

I don’t find a whole lot of love in being compared to a pedophile or being told that I should “change” my orientation-which was the way God created me. I don’t find a whole lot of love in the word “disordered”-and I’ve heard all the justifications for that word, but the bottom line is that it sends the message that we are created “wrong”. I don’t find a whole lot of love in being told that my family must have done something wrong in raising me to “cause” me to become gay-when I know that all they ever did was model God’s unconditional love to me since the day I was born. I don’t find a lot of love in being told that because of my orientation, I’m suffering some sort of mental illness or disease, and am more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol-something I’ve NEVER done in nearly 50 years on this earth. I don’t find a lot of love in watching my friends become victims of violence. I don’t find a lot of love in a Church that would force an employee to resign because of unsubstantiated rumors that they were gay.

Would you?

No, I wouldn’t, but there are a few out there.

It’s not always the parents that are the problem, it could be a number of different factors. Are you saying that God created you that way because you’ve felt that way all your life?

I think that sometimes, in certain situations, people who are steeped in the gay lifestyle, acting out with multiple partners, etc. fall into the category of those who likely abuse drugs and alcohol, but certainly not everyone who feels that way.

I think if you read an earlier post by Gertie, she addresses some of what you’re talking about and you might find it helpful.

God certainly states in His Word in several different places that acting out homosexually is a sin since He originally created us heterosexual, that the man and wife might “become one flesh” and reproduce or be “fruitful and multiply”.

When evil and sin came into the world, everything went awry including birth anomalies, hormone imbalances in the womb, alcoholism, dysfunctional families and everything that causes people pain and suffering and causes people to medicate their pain and suffering in different ways.

The groups of Courage and Exodus are a group of loving Christian people with same sex attraction that help one another who wish to remain celibate and become closer to God and find healing and wholeness through Him. Why don’t you look into it if you desire celibacy which we are all called as single Christians to attain.

Praying for you.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

No, I wouldn’t.

It’s not always the parents that are the problem, it could be a number of different factors. Are you saying that God created you that way because you’ve felt that way all your life?

I think that sometimes, in certain situations, people who are steeped in the gay lifestyle, acting out with multiple partners, etc. fall into the category of those who likely abuse drugs and alcohol, but certainly not everyone who feels that way.

I think if you read an earlier post by Gertie, she addresses some of what you’re talking about and you might find it helpful.

God certainly states in His Word in several different places that acting out homosexually is a sin since He originally created us heterosexual, that the man and wife might “become one flesh” and reproduce or be “fruitful and multiply”.

When evil and sin came into the world, everything went awry including birth anomalies, hormone imbalances in the womb, alcoholism, dysfunctional families and everything that causes people pain and suffering and causes people to medicate their pain and suffering in different ways.

The groups of Courage and Exodus are a group of loving Christian people with same sex attraction that help one another who wish to remain celibate and become closer to God and find healing and wholeness through Him. Why don’t you look into it if you desire celibacy which we are all called as single Christians to attain.

Praying for you.

I have always been gay-even before I knew what the word meant.

Exodus is a reparative therapy group and I have seen what happens to people who go to those. One of my friends from college was sent to one of those places by her family and it very nearly drove her to suicide. God made me this way for a reason, and I see no more reason to change my orientation than I would to change my gender.

I’ve looked into Courage, and I understand what they are trying to do. I joined their internet group because there was no group anywhere near where I lived. It’s a mostly male group, and I couldn’t really relate to a lot of the issues being discussed.

 

[ladybri77]

I have always been gay-even before I knew what the word meant.

Exodus is a reparative therapy group and I have seen what happens to people who go to those. One of my friends from college was sent to one of those places by her family and it very nearly drove her to suicide. God made me this way for a reason, and I see no more reason to change my orientation than I would to change my gender.

I’ve looked into Courage, and I understand what they are trying to do. I joined their internet group because there was no group anywhere near where I lived. It’s a mostly male group, and I couldn’t really relate to a lot of the issues being discussed.

If you see no reason to change your orientation or get help with it, then why did you look into Courage?

I understand that Exodus has a reparative therapy group, but the Exodus support group I used to attend was not at all “reparative therapy”, it was a group helping people in their struggle to stay celibate and get closer to God through bible and book study. Reparative therapy to my understanding is counseling that tries to change mannerisms of the people involved, it’s not like the support group that I was familiar with.

In any case, I can understand then why you wouldn’t be able to relate to a lot of the issues in Courage since you say you have had no negative relationships or bad influences in your life. Good for you, however, there are sometimes subconscious influences that one might not be aware that went on in the developmental process.

In any case, if God made you that way, then why did He give you organs made for the opposite sex? I think He allows things to happen for reasons we don’t understand and for His purposes. Sometimes maybe to demonstrate His power and grace, that people can find true healing and change if they really want to. Are you happy in the lifestyle?

Our struggles can bring us closer to God if we allow them to and He can use them for His glory as a demonstration of His grace and to help others who are struggling.

God Bless

 

[mkingdomlvr]

If you see no reason to change your orientation or get help with it, then why did you look into Courage?

I understand that Exodus has a reparative therapy group, but the Exodus support group I used to attend was not at all “reparative therapy”, it was a group helping people in their struggle to stay celibate and get closer to God through bible and book study. Reparative therapy to my understanding is counseling that tries to change mannerisms of the people involved, it’s not like the support group that I was familiar with.

In any case, I can understand then why you wouldn’t be able to relate to a lot of the issues in Courage since you say you have had no negative relationships or bad influences in your life. Good for you, however, there are sometimes subconscious influences that one might not be aware that went on in the developmental process.

In any case, if God made you that way, then why did He give you organs made for the opposite sex? I think He allows things to happen for reasons we don’t understand and for His purposes. Sometimes maybe to demonstrate His power and grace, that people can find true healing and change if they really want to. Are you happy in the lifestyle?

Our struggles can bring us closer to God if we allow them to and He can use them for His glory as a demonstration of His grace and to help others who are struggling.

God Bless

I only became happy when I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t. Now, the only thing that I have any sorrow about is losing my innocence about the Church I grew up in. My relationship with God is just fine, it’s my relationship with the Catholic Church and her followers where I have sadness.

As to why I was created this way-I have no clue. If I am graced enough to one day meet God in person, that’s the first question I intend to ask.

 

[ladybri77]

I only became happy when I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t. Now, the only thing that I have any sorrow about is losing my innocence about the Church I grew up in. My relationship with God is just fine, it’s my relationship with the Catholic Church and her followers where I have sadness.

As to why I was created this way-I have no clue. If I am graced enough to one day meet God in person, that’s the first question I intend to ask.

It would be a fair question to ask Him why He allowed this to happen. I don’t believe God creates anyone to be that way, He just allows things to happen like other anomalies that happen in the world for reasons unknown. There is a reason He made them male and female. If homosexuality was okay, it would be mentioned in the bible as one of his “creations”. Instead, it bluntly says the act is a sin time and time again. Have you read the verses? Romans 1, Leviticus, Galations, and of course, Genesis for proof of how He really made us.

Are you active in the lifestyle?

 

[CarlaOLS]

Good article.

De-Sexualizing the Deeper Need
Alan Medinger

Twenty years ago, God set me free from homosexuality. The nature of my healing – an instant release from sexual fantasies and compulsion – was certainly a miracle. Usually, I don’t share this with people who come to us for the first time for the simple reason that this is the type of healing that everyone would like to receive, but few do. To encourage people to look for this kind of miracle, when in fact, for them the road out of homosexuality may be long and difficult, would be to set them up for discouragement.

At the time of my healing, I assumed that I had been “totally healed” of my homosexuality. After all, I no longer wanted to have sex with men, I desired my wife physically, and I simple did not struggle with lustful thoughts. Over the years, however, I have seen that I needed much more healing and change than I had experienced in that one evening in 1974. Homosexuality is more than sex, and there were other very significant parts of me that needed to be healed and changed.

Over the years, I have asked myself and the Lord, “What exactly did God do when he set me free from a lifetime of homosexuality?” This is an important question because most often a miracle is an instantaneous occurrence of something that could have happened more naturally over a much longer period of time. For example, the body does occasionally, through something called “a spontaneous remission,” rid itself of cancer – over time. People prayed for my mother-in-law after bone cancer had spread over more than half of her body. In a matter of weeks all vestiges of the cancer were gone, never to return. My wife and I and a friend prayed for my father’s debilitating depression, a state he had been in for almost 40 years, and he was instantly healed. Over time, this might have happened anyway, but through prayer and deliverance, God worked this healing in a moment.

What I believe God did in me in an instant in 1974 was to break the link between my deep unmet needs and sex. The needs did not go away, as I was to discover in coming years, but they were no longer sexualized. What God did in me very suddenly can, and I believe will, be a part of the gradual healing of most men and women who struggle with homosexuality (and with other sexual disorders).

After the healing I still had a powerful longing for some man to take care of me. I still felt like a little boy looking for a father. My sense of my own manhood was so undeveloped that I longed for some strong, together type of man with whom I could connect, and from whom I could draw strength. But, it wasn’t sexual; the thought of sex with a man had become sometimes disgusting, sometimes stupid.

As the years have passed those extraordinary needs have gone away to the extent that I don’t believe my needs for male relationships could be any more normal than they are today. In fact, today I see this long, slower moving change as being as extraordinary as the sudden miracle of 1974.

However, in 1974, my needs were still there, and they were extraordinary, but they were no longer sexualized. What happened in my life in an instant can, I believe, happen to you over time. Furthermore, I believe that breaking the sexual link to our needs is an essential part of the healing of most men and women overcoming homosexuality.

Let’s look at this link and at how it may be broken.

Sex as intensifier
First of all, why do we sexualize our needs – or the solution to them? I believe we do this because sex is one of the most intense experiences most people have, and whatever sex touches becomes more alive. Just as salt enhances the flavor of food, sex intensifies the power of any experience. Feeling lonely and tired? Whatever release you find will seem much more immediately satisfying if it has a sexual element.

Sex empowers feelings. It is interesting that we use the word “ecstasy” to describe both sexual and religious experiences.

We use sex because our needs are fundamentally relational, and sex is a relational experience. Some people use food or drugs as a means of dulling the pains that arise out of unmet needs, but the numbing quality they offer is much less satisfying than the vicarious relationships that sex or sexual fantasy offer to those whose needs are primarily relational.

Sex has a power because of its symbolic qualities revolving around touch, control and nurturing. There is a tremendous symbolic power in coming together with another person, when they enter my body, or I theirs. Being enfolded in the arms of another offers feelings of security, nurturing, desirability. Sex can give me a sense of worth, even if I am only being used by another person.

For a man or woman who deals with homosexuality, some of the most intense needs can be met temporarily through sex.

Lonely? Sex makes contact with another person. Bored? Sex is exciting. Feeling worthless? In a sexual encounter (real or imagined) someone wants me. Lacking a sense of gender identity? I can make contact with the masculinity or femininity that I crave. Someone wants me as a man or woman.

The links are powerful and over time, through years of sexual contacts or masturbatory fantasies, they become stronger and stronger. Our needs and a sexual expression of their fulfillment become bonded as by a super-glue or a solder.