Gentlemen: Top 10 Qualities When Choosing a Wife

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I wonder how many men say “my wife is submissive, she loves me and does what I want, and she loves my big muscles”…

…then come home from work one day and find their “submissive” wife has left them for some non-weight-lifting type who, maybe, treats them better?

Just wondering.
 
PolarGuy said:
I wonder how many men say “my wife is submissive, she loves me and does what I want, and she loves my big muscles”…

…then come home from work one day and find their “submissive” wife has left them for some non-weight-lifting type who, maybe, treats them better?

Just wondering.
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There is that.

The other possibility that I have often entertained is that it is relatively easy to look submissive when you tell your husband only a fraction of what’s going on. That’s how old school wives often did it (“don’t tell your father about this”). There’s also the option of being very careful to control the business that’s on the table. Dealing with toddlers provides lots of practice in presenting a balky and immature individual with the face-saving appearance of freedom and autonomy while actually being in control of the situation. (“Do you want to wear the blue or the green pjs! Oh, what a big boy!”)

Obviously, there are wives that are genuinely way into submission (and they all seem to have blogs…), but there have always been women that are skilled at dealing with ogres without seeming to do so.
 
PolarGuy said:
I wonder how many men say “my wife is submissive, she loves me and does what I want, and she loves my big muscles”…

…then come home from work one day and find their “submissive” wife has left them for some non-weight-lifting type who, maybe, treats them better?

Just wondering.
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Funny guy here. I have been married to my wife for over a decade. I am good to her and she is good to me. She is my everything. I am a high level competitive lifter, in fact state champion in my weight class, but I didn’t even lift when her and I met. She could care less about whether I lift or not.

My wife and I are best friends. She is somewhat quiet with others and a bit antisocial. She doesn’t handle finances well so I do all of it. Our system works well. She maintains the house and I make the money amd handle the finances. She knows I will get her everything I can and I love her and treat her to nice things and take her out whenever I can. We have a fun life and are happy. I am educated and have a good job. Just because I lift and am strong doesn’t mean I am a big dumb ogre.
 
I really REALLY like Xantippe’s last post: insightful yet…sinister? Very thought provoking, and surely true IMHO.
 
Why do so many people get this wrong?
bigblu said:
She could care less about whether I lift or not.
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Should be:

She could **not **care less about whether I lift or not.

Sorry - just a pet peeve of mine - please return now to being your awesome self, along with your wild, naughty, kind, submissive, good Christain mother, sexy arm-candy unicorn of a wife.
 
underacloud said:
Why do so many people get this wrong?

Should be:

She could **not **care less about whether I lift or not.

Sorry - just a pet peeve of mine - please return now to being your awesome self, along with your wild, naughty, kind, submissive, good Christain mother, sexy arm-candy unicorn of a wife.
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At least you got the description of her right.
 
Xantippe said:
Obviously, there are wives that are genuinely way into submission (and they all seem to have blogs…)
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:rotfl:

👍
bigblu said:
Funny guy here. I have been married to my wife for over a decade. I am good to her and she is good to me. She is my everything. I am a high level competitive lifter, in fact state champion in my weight class, but I didn’t even lift when her and I met. She could care less about whether I lift or not.

My wife and I are best friends. She is somewhat quiet with others and a bit antisocial. She doesn’t handle finances well so I do all of it. Our system works well. She maintains the house and I make the money amd handle the finances. She knows I will get her everything I can and I love her and treat her to nice things and take her out whenever I can. We have a fun life and are happy. I am educated and have a good job. Just because I lift and am strong doesn’t mean I am a big dumb ogre.
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Yeah, it’s really hard to get a complete picture of a human being and human relationships in a few paragraphs with total strangers on the internet. I’m glad you and your wife are happy.

Just never know where these threads will lead once they’re put out there 😃

God bless y’all.

Gertie
 
underacloud said:
Why do so many people get this wrong?

Should be:

She could **not **care less about whether I lift or not.

Sorry - just a pet peeve of mine - please return now to being your awesome self, along with your wild, naughty, kind, submissive, good Christain mother, sexy arm-candy unicorn of a wife.
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Funny!
 
PolarGuy said:
I really REALLY like Xantippe’s last post: insightful yet…sinister? Very thought provoking, and surely true IMHO.
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Thanks!

Here’s a non-sinister example:

My grandma is very old school and happily married for 69 years. A few years back, I was telling her that I’d heard that my great-uncle (her sister’s husband–a big pain in the neck for many years) was refusing to take his medicine for dementia. Grandma said (without evening stopping to think about it), “Why don’t they put it in his food?”

Given how fast she said it, I’m pretty sure it didn’t even cross her mind to think, “What’s the submissive thing to do?”
 
As someone who’s married to very smart lady (who also happens to make more $ than I do!) I can’t help but be really unimpressed by men who want a submissive wife…it’s like they have some insecurity or defect that makes them seek out someone who won’t challenge them. I’m sure all cases are unique but I’m convinced a lot of men use the Bible as a convenient excuse to look for someone “submissive” when what they really are is just insecure. Me? I’d rather have a partner. If I wanted someone submissive I’d hire a maid (and I could just pay her to fawn over my muscles).
 
PolarGuy said:
As someone who’s married to very smart lady (who also happens to make more $ than I do!) I can’t help but be really unimpressed by men who want a submissive wife…it’s like they have some insecurity or defect that makes them seek out someone who won’t challenge them. I’m sure all cases are unique but I’m convinced a lot of men use the Bible as a convenient excuse to look for someone “submissive” when what they really are is just insecure. Me? I’d rather have a partner. If I wanted someone submissive I’d hire a maid (and I could just pay her to fawn over my muscles).
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Submissive doesn’t mean they don’t ever challange you. We are equal partners. It meana that when somethimg real important comes up the husbsnd as the head of the household has the last say. The wife trusts her husband to do what is right for his family. in return the husband loves his wife as jesus loves the church willing to give his life for her.
 
bigblu said:
Submissive doesn’t mean they don’t ever challange you. We are equal partners. It meana that when somethimg real important comes up the husbsnd as the head of the household has the last say. The wife trusts her husband to do what is right for his family. in return the husband loves his wife as jesus loves the church willing to give his life for her.
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So, what about when he’s got dementia or mental illness or brain damage or an addiction or is in a lot of pain?

Does that still apply?

A smart person once said, “The Constitution is not a suicide pact.”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Constitution_is_not_a_suicide_pact

I would paraphrase that to, “Marriage is not a suicide pact.”
 
Xantippe said:
So, what about when he’s got dementia or mental illness or brain damage or an addiction or is in a lot of pain?

Does that still apply?

A smart person once said, “The Constitution is not a suicide pact.”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Constitution_is_not_a_suicide_pact

I would paraphrase that to, “Marriage is not a suicide pact.”
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Of course not. Wouldnt a lovinh wife then do what she needs to do to take care of her husband and vice versa
 
I’m sorry, IMHO it’s never an equal partnership when the husband always has the final say and the wife is supposed to just trust hubby’s judgment. I’m sure it works sometimes; heck, I’m sure it works in a lot of marriages. But the fact that it works doesn’t make it an equal partnership, far from it.
 
PolarGuy said:
I’m sorry, IMHO it’s never an equal partnership when the husband always has the final say and the wife is supposed to just trust hubby’s judgment. I’m sure it works sometimes; heck, I’m sure it works in a lot of marriages. But the fact that it works doesn’t make it an equal partnership, far from it.
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Live how you like. I am happy in my situation.

When it comes to relationships there is no such thing as true 50/50. Some aspects may be 20/80 others may be 90/10 Some give more in some aspects but get more in other aspects. there really is no right or wrong answers for 10 qualities in a partner as it just shows everyone has different tastes and there is someone for most everyone in this world.
 
Actually for both spouses it should always be 100/100, with an understanding that what constitutes that 100 changes based on circumstances and seasons of life.
 
Xantippe said:
How about we just start that way?

It’s a good rule.
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there is still nothing wrong with the wife submiting to her husbands leadership if that is how a couple chooses to live. My wife is happy not having to worry about big things amd having time to stay home and do her art amd crafrs during the day.

My wife told me she is thankful for my take charge attitude in getting things done and improving our life together.
 
Bigblu, although, as I have acknowledged, the sort of marriage you describe certainly can work, perhaps I could offer a different perspective.

What we want, and what God wants from us, are often 2 different things. Same for what we want vs what’s best for us. I think there comes a point where “letting my husband do the thinking while I do arts and crafts”'crosses over into “I’m wasting my life and the abilities and opportunities God gave me.” I’m not saying you’re there. I’m saying many women are - I know, having seen of first hand." Worse, the scenario you describe causes enormous problems when either the husband dies, or he decides he wants someone else and the wife suddenly must fend for herself. It happens.
 
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