I don’t think anything whatsoever about women who spend a small amount of time outside the home. Thinking that those who practice EBF and therefore have very few separations from baby should be acknowledged, rather than the idea that separation from babies is the only way to have a healthy marriage, does not mean I am judging you.
In my case, things are complicated by the fact that I have twins and a husband who rarely gets to be home. We go out (when his schedule allows) and take the babies with us.
I also cannot see why you would leave the babies home to go for a walk. Pushing babies uphill can build strong muscles!
But, alas, I do not have a moral judgment if you prefer to walk without babies, as your post implies. But that is not even related to the conversation!
ExGratia, there are many women–and I am one of them–who love being alone.
I have always enjoyed being alone. When I was a child, I loved going to bed so that I could be alone in my bed and read or listen to my little transistor radio (with a earphone, under the covers, of course!). I loved sitting in my bedroom alone listening to one of my few albums (the old vinyls) on my “record player” (which had been in the family since my parents were young–I think it was one of the first portable record players ever marketed!).
I loved sitting for hours in a chair and reading. I loved going hiking around the block or riding my bike through our neighborhood ALONE.
As a teenager, my favorite activity was to ride my bike for an hour or so up and down our country road (we had moved to a farm by then).
In college, I tried to have a roommate and hated it to the point where I wanted to quit college. My dad asked me if I would rather have a single room, and willingly agreed to pay for it. I’m certain that even though he didn’t say so, he understand, because HE liked to be alone. Yes, he was very sociable, but on his OWN terms, and that’s the way I am.
My mother spent many years ALONE in the farmhouse after she became invalid from arthritis. She honestly didn’t mind. I would call her, and she would joyfully tell me about all the books she had read and the baseball games she had watched (major Chicago Cubs fan!) and the radio programs she listened to.
And even before she was invalid, she would stay alone often, and if the phone rang, often she wouldn’t answer it (this was back before answering services were available for home phones). She told my brother and me, “I don’t to talk to anyone right now.”
She had lots of friends, but on HER terms.
I have two daughters, and my younger daughter hates being alone. But my older daughter inherited the love of being alone. She tried for three years in college to have a roommate, but finally gave up, and has lived alone ever since. She has had several boyfriends over the last ten years, but I suspect that one reasons things never work out is that she really likes being able to be alone when she can. She enjoys solitary sports–running and figure skating. She loves to read, and often sits in coffee shops for hours reading. She loves to listen to music. She journals extensively (has trunks full of journals that she has kept since CHILDHOOD).
Yes, she has a ton of friends, but on HER terms.
I think that there are other women like us, perhaps not quite as “fierce” about their aloneness as my mother, I, and my daughter are/were. But I think a lot of women enjoy solitary time away from babies, children, husband, parents, and friends. It’s restorative, and for people like me (and my mother and daughter), it’s necessary and vital. We shrivel if we have no “alone time.”
I am very fortunate that my husband and I fit well together. He also enjoys being alone (a computer geek). We are great companions, but we are not afraid of being apart.
A walk by myself sounds like heaven to me, and I do it regularly. When my daughters were babies, I would get up very early in the morning to be able to take a solitary walk alone before my husband left for work.
Hope this explains it to you.
You seem to think that moms who like to spend a small amount of time outside of the home must not prioritize baby’s needs. That’s just not the case. Leaving the home for two hours once a week does not mean baby gets damaged or goes hungry.
) If you live near Portland, OR, though, by all means check the club out, because the resale events are wonderful!!
