xyneshia, you are correct that Steph is taking things a bit personally. But it’s pretty understandable, really: she is one of four, maybe five, transgendered/transsexual or intersexed Catholic posters on this board, currently one of the most active, and under pretty heavy fire for daring to be both a faithful Catholic and a sufferer of gender dysphoria, in this and other threads. Taking a breather might be advisable, were it not that the people punking on her would probably take it as capitulation, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I, on the other hand – I have every right to take this thread personally. I’ve been following it since it first popped up and I was still lurking unregistered, and have been reading it closely since it returned from the grave. It is quite specifically about me, and about a dear friend with whom I was romantically involved at the time. The Angelus happens to be my sister, and another member of my family also posted in this thread during its first run.
The details in the story have been changed somewhat from the actual facts. Both I and the other person mentioned in the OP are transgendered. This thread was made when I was making some first, tentative steps toward being honest with my family – given that you read the OP I’m sure you can guess how that turned out. In the intervening years, not much has changed except that they’ve realized I do not jump anymore when they say ‘boo’.
As for the attitudes of tg/ts and is people toward psychiatric care, I think you will find you are mistaken. Yes, there are those who do not seek medical help, for a variety of reasons from fear (which kept me from doing so for a long time) to poverty (which hasn’t helped either). But the medical establishment is
heavily involved in all steps of the way, from therapy and counseling to hormone replacement to actual surgical procedures. To get one’s identification relabeled – where it’s even possible – requires a psychiatrist’s approval. Sure, visual and social identification with one’s actual gender is incredibly important to a lot of people; after growing up being treated as the wrong one (or living longer in the same way), I don’t see how that’d be at all unexpected.
Nor is society nearly as accepting as you seem to think. The primary cause of death for transpeople is still murder last I looked; we have a much harder time finding and keeping jobs (I’ve joked with therapists that the best bet is in the three Ps – porn, prostitution, and programming – it is not a very funny joke, even though I’m fortunate enough to be in the third field
); our families often refuse to accept us for who we are; society in general looks at those of us who can’t pass perfectly as freaks; our very existence is seen entirely too often as an invitation to physical and sexual assault. Despair drives us to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, suicide attempts – I’ve been there, done all that, and have the t-shirt. You say we’re accepted out of compassion – what strange kind of acceptance and compassion is this? I appreciate your charity, but I deeply regret your naivete.
Given the current tone of much of this thread I expect this to be so many wasted words, for the most part; but if it inspires just one person toward greater compassion and understanding I will consider it a worthwhile effort. Besides – the OP needed closure, and out of all people I’m the only one left to provide it
), but it’s nowhere near as accepting and safe as I’m told the left coast and northeast are.
