What’s the deal with men (especially young men) essentially blaming women for their problems staying on the straight and narrow with respect to masturbation/”impure thoughts”.
Much is whining, some may be true as in all complaining.
All too often I read posts by young men who seem to somehow think it’s the woman’s responsibility to “dress in a way which will not tempt me”.
Partly yes. You could argue that extreme precautions put an extreme burden on people, but at the very least refraining from intentional actions is a fine request. The next step is to avoid gross negligence.
This is an almost impossible task for these poor girls. One poster a while ago even had a problem with women who showed a bit of bra strap (from behind) because it was causing him to become sexually aroused/distracted in church…!!!
Well, the gentleman in question did have a high sex drive. On the other hand, you know, scarves and such exist for a reason. Many churches require women in tank tops or similar outfits to wrap something around their shoulders. And I’m fine with that. Between the girl being less drop-dead for a while while praying and the guy possibly giving in to some bad thoughts (remember the exposure is prolonged and hard to avoid) - or even having difficulties concentrating on prayer, I believe it is much more important to preserve the guy’s peace of mind (or even mental purity) than the lady’s eye candy status. And there is nothing taliban in this.
Let’s make it clear: heat and such is one thing, it comes down to functionality. Florida in summer is obviously not the same as New England in autumn.
On the other hand, it is different when the purpose is to look pretty. That is actually a fine purpose and I have nothing against it as such; in fact, I commend it. However, it may not come at any cost. You don’t go to a male prison in a mini skirt and tank top, right? You don’t go teach 13 year olds with cleavage the size of half the blouse, right?
Certain outfits are also created spefically to cause the lookers to have impure thoughts, whether male or female. The intention to cause impure thoughts is never legitimate and it doesn’t deserve any protection, legal or otherwise. Besides, as I said, refraining from intentionally sexying it up a bit is not an undue burden. Paying a little attention and not being grossly negligent isn’t a great toll, either. Below this line, yes, making a thunderstorm in a glass of water over an accidental strop or a piece of forearm skin and forgetting the man has a brain and will of his own, that would be unfair. But above that line, it is fair.
Honestly boys, this is not Afghanistan pre-invasion. You are not the Taliban. Women are not to blame for your inability to adhere to the lofty standards you have voluntarily chosen to set yourselves.
I don’t think there are any standards to set there. You don’t intentionally tempt others. You don’t look at others to lust for them. You avoid being at least grossly negligent and giving others a hard time while trying to be pretty.
(For clarity, I must say that I personally have no problem with masturbation as I believe it is normal and healthy. But that is for another thread – so please do not post on that).
I am sorry, but this is relevant. Masturbation is impossible to achieve without impure thoughts. Therefore, if you say masturbation is normal and healthy, you must at least to that extent also say that impure thoughts are normal and healthy. Therefore it is logical that you probably accept more sexual tension in the air than most of us do. This may be part of the reason why you think, as I assume, that “sexy” clothes are fine.
To sum up: It’s men’s responsibility how they look at women and it’s women’s responsibility if they dress with the goal to tempt men.
I chose this for a reading for my wedding mass!
