I don’t know how to talk to guys. I amend that: cute guys. Whenever I’m around them, my stomach flutters and my spine turns to liquid. I end up talking to the not so cute ones and avoiding the one I’m really interested in. However, I’d like to change that and I’d like your help, gentlemen. How do I break the ice? Is there a patron saint for courage? What are guys interested in anyways? Thank you for your help in this trivial matter of mine.
The matter is not trivial and thank you for asking us, guys, rather than making guesses or avoiding those of us you like in favour of those you don’t.
As for the patron saint of courage, there’s none better than St Joan of Arc, I suppose, especially if you go for lady saints. However, she was a battle saint, a young girl who used the courage to approach hostile armed forces, not young men. Since St Joseph is the guardian of maidens, I suppose it’s a good idea to pray to him to help you find a good man. Or St Raphael for happy meetings. Can’t forged Blessed Virgin Mary… what is it that you can’t pray to her for intercession in?
But you were asking about courage…
And, to answer your question, what Other Eric so charmingly suggested is that it’s good to have something to talk about rather than rely on physical attraction or, well, just attraction. After all, no matter how attractive a guy, if you don’t have much to talk about, follow different systems of values, don’t have a similar vision of marriage, aren’t good and kind to each other, well, then it won’t work.
This said, you don’t need to avoid talking to guys unless you’d be talking to them even if they were forbidding trolls. You can simply approach them and talk about something relevant, trying to establish a link and find some common interests. Be polite, natural, try to show yourself from a good side, respect yourself and respect the guy. If you want to say, “wow, that’s impressive,” say it, but if you don’t, don’t force yourself. That’s about all there is to it.
Once you’ve made some contact, what DailyBread says is important: respond to the guy. But what I said before is also important: be natural and respect yourself. If you have to choose between being yourself and respecting yourself, and responding in a particular way, then choose the former. Don’t fake anything, just express what you really think or feel. Colouring your reactions too much could give the guy the impression that your interest is stronger than it is. That wouldn’t be good. But don’t hold back if you really feel that kind of response - his jokes are funny, his stories are interesting, he played the game well, showed some skill, knowledge, manners, whatever. Just so long as it honestly impressed you and you respect yourself while expressing it.
Now, as for the guy you were talking about, maybe you could ask if you could have a moment of your time and if he says yes, ask him to tell you a bit about his interests. If he says why, you can tell him you’d like to find out if you have some common ones. Then if he asks why, you could say something like, “because it would be nice if we did,” or similar. If he keeps why-ing you further, denying answers, getting secretive or otherwise complicating it, then he’s probably not your guy.
Then, pay attention and listen when he talks. If things are going right, he should ask about yours, so then it’s his turn to be attentive - and he’d better be. Don’t make it too long at the first time and don’t push things. “Perhaps we’ll talk later,” or “thank you, it was nice talking to you,” are fine. If he tells you a compliment, take it graciously, thank him, some you can reciprocate - if he tells you you look pretty, you can tell him he looks good as well, generally, some positive things you can always return with a simple “likewise”. Well, this is just a couple of ideas. Be spontaneous and improvise. Don’t think he’s doing you a favour by returning your kindness, although it’s surely nice of him to engage in the conversation and keep it going.
I am talking to a beautiful woman.
