Hair, Jewellery and Make Up

[Anglewannabe]

What a horrible song.

Such a shallow way to treat women.

 

[EasterJoy]

What a horrible song.
Maybe God gave women the creation of cosmetics because of the excessive pressure society and men place on them to be pretty.
Some people may say men don’t use makeup so men can’t “deceive” their future wife about their looks with makeup but at the same time,men receive nowhere near as much expectation to look attractive as women too.

I’m almost glad if the man in the song lyrics finds out his wife is “unattractive” and therefore is “unfortunate”.
Maybe that is his lesson for being too shallow and placing so much emphasis/value on the looks of women?

I’ve noticed also occasionally some women who don’t wear makeup can sometimes start feeling superior than women who do and think comments (sometime subconsciously) such as “at least with me my husband won’t be surprised” " men don’t like women who wear a lot of slap" “I don’t need a cake face to be attractive” or boasting “I never have to wear makeup unlike other women and men still find me attractive/stare at me” or similar comments.

If someone doesn’t want to wear makeup I think they should feel secure in their position and not feel pressured but also not subtlety feel superior over women who do because no one knows another persons circumstances.

In the song, the bride had a glass eye and a missing leg that she had somehow neglected to tell her gold-digging attorney of a groom about, an eye she invited him to take out for her on their wedding night, not just a total lack of hair and natural facial coloring. It’s a joke song. There is a reason it isn’t a classic, but lighten up. It’s meant to be taken just about as seriously as “Put Another Log on the Fire” by Tompall Glaser.

Men and women each face their own kind of pressure to be an ideal. Ever heard of Princess Charming on a white horse? What does it tell you when the groom in every fairy tale was a one-dimensional character who could be summed up by his social position? The same thing you learn when you hear men’s fairy tales, the ones where the hero gets to marry the beautiful daughter of the grateful king. They are fairy tales: Metaphorical yarns. Non-historical, purposefully reduced to archetypal images and mythical patterns.

 

[Elena321]

In the song, the bride had a glass eye and a missing leg that she had somehow neglected to tell her gold-digging attorney of a groom about, an eye she invited him to take out for her on their wedding night, not just a total lack of hair and natural facial coloring. It’s a joke song. There is a reason it isn’t a classic, but lighten up. It’s meant to be taken just about as seriously as “Put Another Log on the Fire” by Tompall Glaser.

Men and women each face their own kind of pressure to be an ideal. Ever heard of Princess Charming on a white horse? What does it tell you when the groom in every fairy tale was a one-dimensional character who could be summed up by his social position? The same thing you learn when you hear men’s fairy tales, the ones where the hero gets to marry the beautiful daughter of the grateful king. They are fairy tales: Metaphorical yarns. Non-historical, purposefully reduced to archetypal images and mythical patterns.

I don’t know…maybe I should lighten up and while a joke song but still not very nice lyrics about her beauty and grace destroyed when wiping her makeup off and her bald head and advising men to examine their potential wives.

I agree men and women face their own type of gender pressure hence the “sugardaddy” phenomenon

 

[pianistclare]

Talk about getting out of hand.
People (of both genders) have worn makeup for centuries.
It’s a personal and cultural thing. For example, in my culture, we have the baby girls ears pierced before they come home from the hospital. It’s what we do. No big deal, but some people would find it barbaric.
Bottom line, we do what makes us feel good, make up or no, jewelry or none.
It’s all ok.
I’m married. I don’t need to attract a man. (Especially an ancient man, LOL)
Sometime I wear makeup, sometimes I don’t bother.
It’s not a hill to die on either way.
I do love that gypsy hardware though.

 

[lax16]

I am single and I must say, that is quite offensive. To imply that all single women must concern themselves with finding a man and the way to do it is to be a slave to the fashion industry.

Yes, that was offensive. I don’t see how marital status has anything to do with my OP

That’s the advice I would give my daughters.

 

[EasterJoy]

I don’t know…maybe I should lighten up and while a joke song but still not very nice lyrics about her beauty and grace destroyed when wiping her makeup off and her bald head and advising men to examine their potential wives.

Yes! It is headed to the dustbin of music history for a reason.

 

[Rosebud77]

Great fun comparing with others here… I cannot imagine dressing better FOR A MAN!!! Unless it was for a meeting with the Bishop!

For some reason I am reminded of the person who once came to my market stall wearing a bright turquoise velour … babygro… which I think you call onesies? With long black ringlets… He was male… Not sure what he was trying to say to the world,

My hair, by the way,w hat I still have, is a delicious delicate shade of pale but rich grey and very soft.

Shaving legs etc? Gee!!

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I am single and I must say, that is quite offensive. To imply that all single women must concern themselves with finding a man and the way to do it is to be a slave to the fashion industry.

Yes, that was offensive. I don’t see how marital status has anything to do with my OP

She didn’t say anything about fashion, much less slavery. She said color your hair and wear makeup.

The harsh truth is, you talk a lot on these boards ablut being single and wishing that wasn’t the case. It’s not offensive to gently remind someone in your situation that it might behoove them to put some effort into being sexually attractive.

I tend to agree with EasterJoy though that being married is no excuse either. I’m still in my 20’s and already some of my married/committed peers are letting themselves go. It’s a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

 

[Bonnie]

I think it’s a shame that several people misunderstood my post.

First off, it was in response to the idea that women should paint & primp to “catch” a man. Not something I think is necessary - neither the primping nor the man.

Second, in the song, the woman used artificial means to catch a husband, while the man pretended to love her but really wanted her money. Both got what they wanted - she a husband & he a wealthy wife - but were they happy? Not sure about her, but he wasn’t.

Lighten up a bit people! Too many have the mindset of “Life is real! Life is earnest!” Laugh a little - it does the heart good.

 

[mommy_k]

I think God created us all to be beautiful in our own way…for some of us, that means having an appearance that leads others to him, as people have the wrong assumptions about what being Catholic entails…it is not all dreariness.

For some too, it means putting aside the external and accomplishing this task in a different way.

The trick for everyone is to find the zone that makes the most impact on our own spiritual life and the lives of others we have contact with.

I know a very Holy lady who used to have an extremely polished appearance and at that time, this is what led me to her. Over the course of years, she stopped doing all these external things, not out of laziness, but because she was in a different place in her spirituality. I saw the beauty within her, and it shined even more brightly then when she had the perfect appearance…but, back then, I was a superficial person and would never have had the pleasure of knowing such a beautiful person if she had the appearance she has now.

 

[Anglewannabe]

That’s the advice I would give my daughters.

Why?

 

[EasterJoy]

Why?

That is a good question. It seems to me that a woman ought to take care of herself not necessarily just for herself–of all the people who have to look at us, after all, we look at ourselves the least often, one would hope–but nevertheless in an honest way that reflects what she intends to do whether or not she is romantically involved with anyone. The same goes for guys, too. People don’t have a right to decide who you are going to be in this world, but it is simple kindness to remember that they do have to look at you. Taking a little care to be groomed for the occasion isn’t a lot to ask.

As for people who “let themselves go” after marriage, to be fair this most often happens when married life gets nutty busy. There is always that temptation to cut corners because “we’re not going anywhere.” It is like the temptation to be less than courteous because you’re only with your own family. If you have integrity, you ought to be kind to those who can do something for you and also to those who can’t, to those who have to stick around just as much as to those who can take you or leave you behind. You ought to care whether you are pleasant to be around or not, and that includes whether you show some level of caring for those who have to look at you all day when you do your grooming. It isn’t as if anyone else can presume to do it for you!

 

[Rosebud77]

I think God created us all to be beautiful in our own way…for some of us, that means having an appearance that leads others to him, as people have the wrong assumptions about what being Catholic entails…it is not all dreariness.

For some too, it means putting aside the external and accomplishing this task in a different way.

The trick for everyone is to find the zone that makes the most impact on our own spiritual life and the lives of others we have contact with.

I know a very Holy lady who used to have an extremely polished appearance and at that time, this is what led me to her. Over the course of years, she stopped doing all these external things, not out of laziness, but because she was in a different place in her spirituality. I saw the beauty within her, and it shined even more brightly then when she had the perfect appearance…but, back then, I was a superficial person and would never have had the pleasure of knowing such a beautiful person if she had the appearance she has now.

What a beautiful post; thank you

 

[Della]

I’ve also noticed that when a woman of faith looks dowdy, others may think, especially those who already think religion: 1) spoils one’s “fun”, 2) negates caring about one’s appearance, 3) and that we are only living for “a pie in the sky”–that religion has turned that woman into a drudge.

Unless one can project the brilliant spirituality and love of a Mother Teresa, putting a little effort into appearance will help others to see that being a woman of faith doesn’t mean we have to be pretend nuns or look as frumpy as possible in order to love God and neighbor.

It’s just something to take into consideration–not saying that we need to dress and appear like movie stars all the time–an impossible goal and damaging to one’s psyche, and our relationships besides. But rather we shouldn’t just let ourselves go–using the excuse that God doesn’t care so why should I. To me, it’s like a bad cantor saying, “Well, God likes a ‘joyful noise’ so it doesn’t matter if I practice or sing on key.”

And yes, I’ve known women who didn’t do make up who radiated God’s love, and so had a beauty that comes from within, but it can’t hurt to put a little effort into one’s appearance so that others will notice one’s true personality, instead of getting the impression that women of faith have to look like a used tea bag.

Properly-applied make-up, well-fitting clothes, and well-groomed hair are pleasing to the eye. They make a good impression on others, leading them to listen to our words and see us as women who are engaged in life, and who have something they want.

 

[Rosebud77]

I’ve also noticed that when a woman of faith looks dowdy, others may think, especially those who already think religion: 1) spoils one’s “fun”, 2) negates caring about one’s appearance, 3) and that we are only living for “a pie in the sky”–that religion has turned that woman into a drudge.

Unless one can project the brilliant spirituality and love of a Mother Teresa, putting a little effort into appearance will help others to see that being a woman of faith doesn’t mean we have to be pretend nuns or look as frumpy as possible in order to love God and neighbor.

It’s just something to take into consideration–not saying that we need to dress and appear like movie stars all the time–an impossible goal and damaging to one’s psyche, and our relationships besides. But rather we shouldn’t just let ourselves go–using the excuse that God doesn’t care so why should I. To me, it’s like a bad cantor saying, “Well, God likes a ‘joyful noise’ so it doesn’t matter if I practice or sing on key.”

And yes, I’ve known women who didn’t do make up who radiated God’s love, and so had a beauty that comes from within, but it can’t hurt to put a little effort into one’s appearance so that others will notice one’s true personality, instead of getting the impression that women of faith have to look like a used tea bag.

**Properly-applied make-up, well-fitting clothes, and well-groomed hair are pleasing to the eye. They make a good impression on others, leading them to listen to our words and see us as women who are engaged in life, and who have something they want./**QUOTE]

Sad to say this but here in Ireland the dowdiest women are the sisters who have dropped the habit. They are easy to spot because of that.

re what I have bolded. That works out very very expensive money wise. Neat and clean costs little And still engaged in life. And still having what we want

 

[Bonnie]

Properly-applied make-up, well-fitting clothes, and well-groomed hair are pleasing to the eye. They make a good impression on others, leading them to listen to our words and see us as women who are engaged in life, and who have something they want.

Whose eye? I wear what I’m comfortable wearing. If anyone thinks I’m frumpy, that’s not my problem, it’s his/hers. I’ve had the same style for years & no one except my daughter has been critical. But that’s one of the duties of a daughter, right?

 

[Della]

Rosebud77:

Sad to say this but here in Ireland the dowdiest women are the sisters who have dropped the habit. They are easy to spot because of that.

Habit or no habit they still wouldn’t worry about hair and make-up, yes?

re what I have bolded. That works out very very expensive money wise. Neat and clean costs little And still engaged in life. And still having what we want

I’m on a very tight budget, but I still can buy make-up. I simply look for what is least expensive and only wear it when I go out. Maybe it’s different in Ireland, but here in the USA, make-up is cheap enough for nearly any woman to buy.

Bonnie:

Whose eye? I wear what I’m comfortable wearing. If anyone thinks I’m frumpy, that’s not my problem, it’s his/hers. I’ve had the same style for years & no one except my daughter has been critical. But that’s one of the duties of a daughter, right?

I’m not telling anyone what they should do. I’m merely pointing out a few salient facts about the impression we women of faith often leave with others. And yes, how we present ourselves does influence people–for better or worse. Maybe it shouldn’t, but people can’t help being people. We all like to look at something pleasant rather than be put-off by a bad appearance. Of course, the worst appearance is a sour face or a sad one under the guise of spirituality. Some add dowdy to it, giving others the impressions I outlined in my post. I am judging no one, but I am pointing out a few things for all our consideration.

 

[misspriss]

I’m on a very tight budget, but I still can buy make-up. I simply look for what is least expensive and only wear it when I go out. Maybe it’s different in Ireland, but here in the USA, make-up is cheap enough for nearly any woman to buy.

Cheap enough I guess, unless you stop buying it and then think about buying it again. Somehow $8-15 per item really adds up when you need a base product, mascara, and a lip product probably at minimum, if you want to add a shadow and blush, again, adds up. Want to follow trend and contour? more products. Have under eye bags that stand out or blemishes? another product. Then you need a wash that won’t irritate to remove it, eye makeup remover if you use waterproof, and probably a moisturizer because the entire routine is rough on your facial skin. It’s like scented candles and seasonal kitchen towels, not prohibitively expensive, but not necessarily necessary either.

Granted, you probably do not buy all these items at once, so it doesn’t seem expensive, but honestly, it probably is costing a lot, overall.

Some people can’t wear “the cheapest product” either, because it makes their skin irritated or doesn’t match, or makes their eyes itch and water during the day.

 

[pianistclare]

I’m not telling anyone what they should do. I’m merely pointing out a few salient facts about the impression we women of faith often leave with others. And yes, how we present ourselves does influence people–for better or worse. Maybe it shouldn’t, but people can’t help being people. We all like to look at something pleasant rather than be put-off by a bad appearance. Of course, the worst appearance is a sour face or a sad one under the guise of spirituality. Some add dowdy to it, giving others the impressions I outlined in my post. I am judging no one, but I am pointing out a few things for all our consideration.

**
Well stated**.
There are a group of women who work in the parish office with me who never fail to mention that people who wear makeup or color their hair have missed the boat in Spiritual matters. According to them, those people are shallow and not in tuned with the Gospel.
I guess that’s because there’s no pictures in the Bible eh? I’m sure not all the women therein were “dowdy”.
You cannot imagine how hurtful it is.

I wonder if those same people ever give pause to voicing such a critical opinion of others based on APPEARANCE?
The bottom line is, that such people are just not terribly nice or friendly or approachable.
It’s not a matter of hair and makeup at all,
It’s the fact that people walk the other way when they see them coming, yet they’ll hug me. And it has nothing to do with whether it’s a makeup day or a non-makeup day.
I color my hair because the grey is an ugly tired shade of blah. Not because I fancy myself some kind of cougar.
That’s just ridiculous.
But we all need to be careful of how we talk to and about others.

Thanks Della.

 

[Della]

Cheap enough I guess, unless you stop buying it and then think about buying it again. Somehow $8-15 per item really adds up when you need a base product, mascara, and a lip product probably at minimum, if you want to add a shadow and blush, again, adds up. Want to follow trend and contour? more products. Have under eye bags that stand out or blemishes? another product. Then you need a wash that won’t irritate to remove it, eye makeup remover if you use waterproof, and probably a moisturizer because the entire routine is rough on your facial skin. It’s like scented candles and seasonal kitchen towels, not prohibitively expensive, but not necessarily necessary either.

Granted, you probably do not buy all these items at once, so it doesn’t seem expensive, but honestly, it probably is costing a lot, overall.

Of course, people can get carried away. This is why learning what works for each of us helps cut down on cost–just as knowing what type of clothing works for us. Most people don’t buy clothes just to cover their bodies–they buy garments they feel enhance their appearance. Some people spend a lot on such things and others very little. It doesn’t matter. It’s the effort to appear pleasing to others, as EasterJoy pointed out, that matters.

Some people can’t wear “the cheapest product” either, because it makes their skin irritated or doesn’t match, or makes their eyes itch and water during the day.

Again, this doesn’t apply to most of us, does it? Still, there are products for people with sensitive skin. Not to plug any particular product, but Neutrogena sells such products for relatively low cost. It just depends on what is best for each person in her circumstances.

I’m talking about giving up out of a lazy attitude–how is that a good thing? It can lead to depression and hurt our relationships with others. Not saying it has to, but it does, more often than we’re probably aware. Most women want to present a nice appearance to others, not out of vanity, but so others will feel comfortable around them and they around others.