Hair, Jewellery and Make Up

[Bonnie]

I wonder if those same people ever give pause to voicing such a critical opinion of others based on APPEARANCE?
The bottom line is, that such people are just not terribly nice or friendly or approachable.
It’s not a matter of hair and makeup at all,
It’s the fact that people walk the other way when they see them coming, yet they’ll hug me. And it has nothing to do with whether it’s a makeup day or a non-makeup day.
I color my hair because the grey is an ugly tired shade of blah. Not because I fancy myself some kind of cougar.
That’s just ridiculous.
But we all need to be careful of how we talk to and about others.

My mom (a life-long Protestant) dyed her hair for the same reason. She also wore make-up & a small amount of jewelry. Back in the late '60s she was getting some flack for that - don’t know why, it was no one’s business but her own. Anyway - the pastor had a Q & A at one of the evening services, so she asked (anonymously - the questions were written & put in the collection plate) about the make-up, etc. The pastor was a wonderfully down-to-earth person & said, honey, if you need it, wear it! He also told people to mind their own business - Mom loved him for that.

Me, on the other hand, am not organized enough to dye my hair - I would always have gray roots - and I don’t know how to wear make-up any more. Can’t wear the colors I did 30 years ago - age changes things.

 

[misspriss]

Of course, people can get carried away. This is why learning what works for each of us helps cut down on cost–just as knowing what type of clothing works for us. Most people don’t buy clothes just to cover their bodies–they buy garments they feel enhance their appearance. Some people spend a lot on such things and others very little. It doesn’t matter. It’s the effort to appear pleasing to others, as EasterJoy pointed out, that matters.

Again, this doesn’t apply to most of us, does it? Still, there are products for people with sensitive skin. Not to plug any particular product, but Neutrogena sells such products for relatively low cost. It just depends on what is best for each person in her circumstances.

I’m talking about giving up out of a lazy attitude–how is that a good thing? It can lead to depression and hurt our relationships with others. Not saying it has to, but it does, more often than we’re probably aware. Most women want to present a nice appearance to others, not out of vanity, but so others will feel comfortable around them and they around others.

It’s true. I had it down to a bit of powder and mascara and eyeshadow, but I found myself buying mascara all the time because I could not find a brand that didn’t make my eyes itch, or it went over the 3-6 months you were supposed to toss it after. I couldn’t buy powder at the drugstore because even the palest shades were too dark for me, so that cost a lot more. I found most washes to be drying, including Neutrogena, and all day moisturizers had a chemical sunscreen that irritated my skin…

I didn’t quit wearing makeup out of laziness, although it was a benefit that it took less time and effort. I actually “officially” quit when I was pregnant with DS, because I couldn’t afford the pure mineral based makeup that I thought would be safe on my pregnant skin, and I didn’t want to risk it with the ingredients in conventional makeup. No one noticed, complained, asked if I was sick, asked if I was tired, no one was “uncomfortable” around me, no one cared. I have worn it, from time to time since then, but find it to be a bother for something that no one even notices or cares about.

DH honestly does not mind that I do not wear makeup, I promise. I’ve asked him if he would prefer I wear it, because I would for him. I mean for goodness sake he doesn’t even notice that I color my hair (although I keep it in the same few shades, I notice!). Who else would I wear makeup for? The drive through guy? The checker at the grocery store?

Eh I’m a bit of a hippie though anyway, I think I’m beautiful without makeup. I’m one of those cosleeping, babywearing, extended breastfeeding types. I guess not wearing makeup and not shaving just fit right in with the lifestyle. I’m pretty crunchy. I think people would probably notice me breastfeeding my 3 year old before they noticed I wasn’t wearing mascara.

 

[Bonnie]

Who else would I wear makeup for? The drive through guy? The checker at the grocery store?

Love it!

Eh I’m a bit of a hippie though anyway, I think I’m beautiful without makeup. I’m one of those cosleeping, babywearing, extended breastfeeding types. I guess not wearing makeup and not shaving just fit right in with the lifestyle. I’m pretty crunchy. I think people would probably notice me breastfeeding my 3 year old before they noticed I wasn’t wearing mascara.

Me, too, tho now I’m at the grandma age. Life can be so simple.

 

[Della]

My mom (a life-long Protestant) dyed her hair for the same reason. She also wore make-up & a small amount of jewelry. Back in the late '60s she was getting some flack for that - don’t know why, it was no one’s business but her own. Anyway - the pastor had a Q & A at one of the evening services, so she asked (anonymously - the questions were written & put in the collection plate) about the make-up, etc. The pastor was a wonderfully down-to-earth person & said, honey, if you need it, wear it! He also told people to mind their own business - Mom loved him for that.

A sensible man–good for him.

Me, on the other hand, am not organized enough to dye my hair - I would always have gray roots - and I don’t know how to wear make-up any more. Can’t wear the colors I did 30 years ago - age changes things.

Age does change things–it has for me. I don’t have the same complexion at 67 that I had when I was 20–that’s for sure. I wore no make-up as a young woman. I simply didn’t need it then. In fact, a department store make-up artist complimented me for not smothering my naturally pretty skin and eyelashes with a lot of gobbed-on make-up–something he abhorred seeing young women do.

But now, I have dark circles under my eyes that make me appear ill–or like I haven’t slept for days. And my eyelashes have thinned and the color is gone from my cheeks. So, I learned, by doing a simple search online, watching make-up artists on TV, and a bit of reading, what works for my needs. And I experiment at home–not daily, not for hours, but as I try new products I see what works and what doesn’t.

I don’t spend a lot of time or effort on hair, make-up, nails, clothes, etc. But when I do shop for those things I look for what enhances my appearance at my age and for my needs. It’s simple really, but it’s up to each of us how much we want to put into these things. When it becomes routine and second nature, it’s simple–like most things we learn to do–that’s all I’m saying.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’ve also noticed that when a woman of faith looks dowdy, others may think, especially those who already think religion: 1) spoils one’s “fun”, 2) negates caring about one’s appearance, 3) and that we are only living for “a pie in the sky”–that religion has turned that woman into a drudge.

Unless one can project the brilliant spirituality and love of a Mother Teresa, putting a little effort into appearance will help others to see that being a woman of faith doesn’t mean we have to be pretend nuns or look as frumpy as possible in order to love God and neighbor.

It’s just something to take into consideration–not saying that we need to dress and appear like movie stars all the time–an impossible goal and damaging to one’s psyche, and our relationships besides. But rather we shouldn’t just let ourselves go–using the excuse that God doesn’t care so why should I. To me, it’s like a bad cantor saying, “Well, God likes a ‘joyful noise’ so it doesn’t matter if I practice or sing on key.”

And yes, I’ve known women who didn’t do make up who radiated God’s love, and so had a beauty that comes from within, but it can’t hurt to put a little effort into one’s appearance so that others will notice one’s true personality, instead of getting the impression that women of faith have to look like a used tea bag.

Properly-applied make-up, well-fitting clothes, and well-groomed hair are pleasing to the eye. They make a good impression on others, leading them to listen to our words and see us as women who are engaged in life, and who have something they want.

The problem with the theory of “if you can’t be that good, at least look good” is that the Apostles did not teach it and it is not in the Gospels. The exception–and an important exception, I think!–is Our Lord’s caution not to let our looks go in order to give the impression that this is the way “holy” people ought to look. (I do recognize that I may have mistaken you and perhaps this is what your are really saying! Even the real sisters in convents keep themselves well-groomed, after all.)

“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” Matt. 6:16-17

If anything, though, non-Christians will get the idea that Christian women really do avoid over-indulging themselves in the area of fashion:

*Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves *1 Pet. 3:3-5a

This leaves miles and miles of leeway on the continuum, with neglecting our appearance altogether on one end and vainly over-indulging ourselves on the other. Where each of us decides to be on that continuum is really no one else’s business. We can have our own opinions when we are making our own decisions, but we are forbidden to judge those whose decisions are different than ours. There’s not really any way around that.

 

[Della]

The problem with this theory is that the Apostles did not teach it and it is not in the Gospels, excepting–and an important exception, I think!–Our Lord’s caution not to let our looks go in order to give the impression that this is the way “holy” people ought to look:

“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” Matt. 6:16-17

If anything, though, non-Christians will get the idea that Christian women really do avoid over-indulging themselves in the area of fashion:

*Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves *1 Pet. 3:3-5a

This leaves miles and miles of leeway on the continuum, with neglecting our appearance altogether on one end and vainly over-indulging ourselves on the other. Where each of us decides to be on that continuum is really no one else’s business. We can have our own opinions when we are making our own decisions, but we are forbidden to judge those whose decisions are different than ours. There’s not really any way around that.

All true. I don’t believe I wrote anything to the contrary. The Apostles were hardly fashion experts. Many men haven’t a clue what women do to appear pleasing to others. And of course, women can overdo it–just as they can in any area of life. I simply think that having a lazy attitude isn’t the same thing as holiness. A nice neat appearance–whatever it takes to have it, as long as one doesn’t obsess over it, is fine. For some that means paying attention to things like hair, make-up, clothes, nails, etc. For others, not so much. What matters is why we are making an effort and what we hope to accomplish. If it’s to make a decent appearance that doesn’t distract from our true selves, I see that as being a good thing.

 

[Rosebud77]

**Habit or no habit they still wouldn’t worry about hair and make-up, yes?
**

**I’m on a very tight budget, but I still can buy make-up. I simply look for what is least expensive and only wear it when I go out. Maybe it’s different in Ireland, but here in the USA, make-up is cheap enough for nearly any woman to buy.
**

I’m not telling anyone what they should do. I’m merely pointing out a few salient facts about the impression we women of faith often leave with others. And yes, how we present ourselves does influence people–for better or worse. Maybe it shouldn’t, but people can’t help being people. We all like to look at something pleasant rather than be put-off by a bad appearance. Of course, the worst appearance is a sour face or a sad one under the guise of spirituality. Some add dowdy to it, giving others the impressions I outlined in my post. I am judging no one, but I am pointing out a few things for all our consideration.

Actually they all go to the hairdressers every week… no idea really re cost of make up but would be beyond me anyways… and why wear it? Nothing worse than mutton dressed as lamb… As others here say, why worry what others think? Bad appearance is an odd phrase …I wear long and simple. Not rags but not fashion… Love the Bruderhof and Amish ideas…

 

[Lea101]

My mom was 50 ish and she loved playing around with makeup. She was also religious. She likes being girly and experimenting with looks, she didn’t wear them to look good. If you are strong in your faith and you used to do all those stuff to feel confident/look good, then it’s no wonder why you don’t do that now. But if you’re more of the person that just liked colors and stuff, I’d imagine your interest for it will still be there

Like someone else said, it depends on your personality. Age can be a factor, in some instances. I know someone once came up with a theory that older women are less inclined to look good because they cannot have babies anymore. It sounds kind of logical if you want to look at evolutionary psychology or something like that. But I don’t really buy it.

 

[Rosebud77]

Cheap enough I guess, unless you stop buying it and then think about buying it again. Somehow $8-15 per item really adds up when you need a base product, mascara, and a lip product probably at minimum, if you want to add a shadow and blush, again, adds up. Want to follow trend and contour? more products. Have under eye bags that stand out or blemishes? another product. Then you need a wash that won’t irritate to remove it, eye makeup remover if you use waterproof, and probably a moisturizer because the entire routine is rough on your facial skin. It’s like scented candles and seasonal kitchen towels, not prohibitively expensive, but not necessarily necessary either.

Granted, you probably do not buy all these items at once, so it doesn’t seem expensive, but honestly, it probably is costing a lot, overall.

Some people can’t wear “the cheapest product” either, because it makes their skin irritated or doesn’t match, or makes their eyes itch and water during the day.

OUCH at the cost! OUCH OUCH OUCH! I am a pensioner… before that on disability and every cent matters… and allergies galore…

 

[Rosebud77]

It’s true. I had it down to a bit of powder and mascara and eyeshadow, but I found myself buying mascara all the time because I could not find a brand that didn’t make my eyes itch, or it went over the 3-6 months you were supposed to toss it after. I couldn’t buy powder at the drugstore because even the palest shades were too dark for me, so that cost a lot more. I found most washes to be drying, including Neutrogena, and all day moisturizers had a chemical sunscreen that irritated my skin…

I didn’t quit wearing makeup out of laziness, although it was a benefit that it took less time and effort. I actually “officially” quit when I was pregnant with DS, because I couldn’t afford the pure mineral based makeup that I thought would be safe on my pregnant skin, and I didn’t want to risk it with the ingredients in conventional makeup. No one noticed, complained, asked if I was sick, asked if I was tired, no one was “uncomfortable” around me, no one cared. I have worn it, from time to time since then, but find it to be a bother for something that no one even notices or cares about.

DH honestly does not mind that I do not wear makeup, I promise. I’ve asked him if he would prefer I wear it, because I would for him. I mean for goodness sake he doesn’t even notice that I color my hair (although I keep it in the same few shades, I notice!). Who else would I wear makeup for? The drive through guy? The checker at the grocery store?

Eh I’m a bit of a hippie though anyway, I think I’m beautiful without makeup. I’m one of those cosleeping, babywearing, extended breastfeeding types. I guess not wearing makeup and not shaving just fit right in with the lifestyle. I’m pretty crunchy. I think people would probably notice me breastfeeding my 3 year old before they noticed I wasn’t wearing mascara.

Love it! The life inside you is far more than the face paint of others…

 

[Rosebud77]

Love it!

Me, too, tho now I’m at the grandma age. Life can be so simple.

Aint that the truth!

 

[Rosebud77]

The problem with the theory of “if you can’t be that good, at least look good” is that the Apostles did not teach it and it is not in the Gospels. The exception–and an important exception, I think!–is Our Lord’s caution not to let our looks go in order to give the impression that this is the way “holy” people ought to look. (I do recognize that I may have mistaken you and perhaps this is what your are really saying! Even the real sisters in convents keep themselves well-groomed, after all.)

“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” Matt. 6:16-17

If anything, though, non-Christians will get the idea that Christian women really do avoid over-indulging themselves in the area of fashion:

I thought that related to a display of sackcloth and ashes? Always wonder on Ash Wednesday too…

*Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves *1 Pet. 3:3-5a

This leaves miles and miles of leeway on the continuum, with neglecting our appearance altogether on one end and vainly over-indulging ourselves on the other. Where each of us decides to be on that continuum is really no one else’s business. We can have our own opinions when we are making our own decisions, but we are forbidden to judge those whose decisions are different than ours. There’s not really any way around that.

 

[Rosebud77]

All true. I don’t believe I wrote anything to the contrary. The Apostles were hardly fashion experts. Many men haven’t a clue what women do to appear pleasing to others. And of course, women can overdo it–just as they can in any area of life. I simply think that having a lazy attitude isn’t the same thing as holiness. A nice neat appearance–whatever it takes to have it, as long as one doesn’t obsess over it, is fine. For some that means paying attention to things like hair, make-up, clothes, nails, etc. For others, not so much. What matters is why we are making an effort and what we hope to accomplish. If it’s to make a decent appearance that doesn’t distract from our true selves, I see that as being a good thing.

It is that aspect that irks I think. And the making an effort idea…

 

[Della]

Actually they all go to the hairdressers every week… no idea really re cost of make up but would be beyond me anyways… and why wear it? Nothing worse than mutton dressed as lamb… As others here say, why worry what others think? Bad appearance is an odd phrase …I wear long and simple. Not rags but not fashion… Love the Bruderhof and Amish ideas…

A woman only looks like “mutton dressed as lamb” if she wears the wrong kind of clothes and make-up for her age and coloring, etc. It’s an art–one that can be learned. I’m 67 and I have learned what looks good on me for my age, etc. No one stares at my clothes or make-up–they just see me–because I generally do it right. Women who overdo the make-up or try to dress too young look silly, I agree. If a woman wants to do make-up and wear fashionable (not necessarily costly clothes) she should experiment a bit and learn what looks good on her–then she won’t look odd, overdone, or silly.

 

[UbiCaritas]

You know, I was recently reading a biography of Leonie Martin, one of St. Therese of Lisieux’s sisters. As you may know, all of the sisters ended up becoming nuns; Leonie was the only one who didn’t enter the Carmelites, but a different order some distance away, which meant that she would write letters to and receive letters from her sisters. Many of those letters have survived to this day.

Anyhow, I found the letter in which one of her sisters–Celine, perhaps?–explained how best to use tweezers to remove unwanted facial hair to be both touching and amusing. Celine closed by commenting (I’m paraphrasing, but closely) that “just because we’re nuns doesn’t mean we need to look hideous!” And this from a very saintly family indeed.

 

[Della]

You know, I was recently reading a biography of Leonie Martin, one of St. Therese of Lisieux’s sisters. As you may know, all of the sisters ended up becoming nuns; Leonie was the only one who didn’t enter the Carmelites, but a different order some distance away, which meant that she would write letters to and receive letters from her sisters. Many of those letters have survived to this day.

Anyhow, I found the letter in which one of her sisters–Celine, perhaps?–explained how best to use tweezers to remove unwanted facial hair to be both touching and amusing. Celine closed by commenting (I’m paraphrasing, but closely) that “just because we’re nuns doesn’t mean we need to look hideous!” And this from a very saintly family indeed.

So cute.

 

[Bonnie]

Anyhow, I found the letter in which one of her sisters–Celine, perhaps?–explained how best to use tweezers to remove unwanted facial hair to be both touching and amusing. Celine closed by commenting (I’m paraphrasing, but closely) that “just because we’re nuns doesn’t mean we need to look hideous!” And this from a very saintly family indeed.

I like that! I tweeze - I’ve always been somewhat hairy. At my age I’d have both a moustache & chin whiskers if I didn’t. And I do that for me - I don’t like the way they look.

 

[Rosebud77]

You know, I was recently reading a biography of Leonie Martin, one of St. Therese of Lisieux’s sisters. As you may know, all of the sisters ended up becoming nuns; Leonie was the only one who didn’t enter the Carmelites, but a different order some distance away, which meant that she would write letters to and receive letters from her sisters. Many of those letters have survived to this day.

Anyhow, I found the letter in which one of her sisters–Celine, perhaps?–explained how best to use tweezers to remove unwanted facial hair to be both touching and amusing. Celine closed by commenting (I’m paraphrasing, but closely) that “just because we’re nuns doesn’t mean we need to look hideous!” And this from a very saintly family indeed.

lovely; tweezers? OUCH… I use a disposable razor… my small routine as I get ready for out… check nails ( outdoor life and I hate wearing gloves), check facial hair…

Started laughing as I fell asleep last night… That is really the only time I ever use a mirror. At 73 and with illness, my face has aged amazingly… Someone took a photo in full sun and I did not recognise myself and when I was playing with the new chromebook I was given I accidentally pressed CAMERA and wondered who the old crone on the screen was.

So now I just accept the wrinkles and smile more when I am out… Put on my welcoming smile…

 

[Bonnie]

Started laughing as I fell asleep last night… That is really the only time I ever use a mirror. At 73 and with illness, my face has aged amazingly… Someone took a photo in full sun and I did not recognise myself and when I was playing with the new chromebook I was given I accidentally pressed CAMERA and wondered who the old crone on the screen was.

So now I just accept the wrinkles and smile more when I am out… Put on my welcoming smile…

I’ve found my cell phone to be a real waker-upper when I accidentally take a pic of myself. I really prefer my mirror in somewhat dim light.

 

[Heather914]

I have found that wearing a little bit of makeup and maybe some earrings gives me a boost. I go very light on the makeup (just enough to enhance my best features), and then my favorite cross and a rosary bracelet. As for my hair, it is VERY long, thick and curly, so during the summer it’s usually pulled up. During the winter, I just let it do what it wants. I get the most compliments on my hair, (but I hope this doesn’t sound vain). I just think that maybe a little enhancement can make you feel better about yourself. :curtsey: