Has anyone here been excluded form their Children's Mormon Temple Wedding?

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Annie_B

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Has anyone here been excluded from their children’s LDS temple wedding? I know why they do it, and I am not looking to “Mormon Bash”. I just want to know if anyone here has had this experience and how they coped with it. I do not want this to turn into a discussion purely about the LDS church; I know all I want to about it; am just looking for others with the same experience.

Thank you -
Annie
 
Husband and I have. As far as I know, that’s how it’s done–we weren’t “worthy” and it didn’t seem to us that anyone cared. Didn’t do well with the exclusion–then or now (of course I haven’t taken the Mormon experience very well to begin with.)
 
AMDGtoo said:
Husband and I have. As far as I know, that’s how it’s done–we weren’t “worthy” and it didn’t seem to us that anyone cared. Didn’t do well with the exclusion–then or now (of course I haven’t taken the Mormon experience very well to begin with.)
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Thank you for your reply. As I mentioned, I know exactly why it is done. Has it affected your relationship with your child? How did they handle it? (the wedding without you in attendance). Have you had any nefative experiences since with family members who may have been to the wedding? I am dealing with this now, so I very much appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. If you would rather not post publicly, you may PM me anytime.

Thanks!
Annie
 
I have a friend who left the Mormon Church and married a Catholic after his first wife died. He has a daughter from his first marriage. He was excluded from her temple wedding because he was no longer a Mormon. That seems to be the rule.
 
this year for the first time at this parish have RCIA participants who are Mormon or who have Mormon family members, and I learned yesterday non-Mormons (and those who are not properly observant) are barred from temple weddings, including parents, so I assume it is the standard practice. they can have a reception elsewhere and invite others but not to the wedding itself, and there is supposed to be part of the rite that involves only the couple, no other witnesses, but guess it is some kind of secret. one candidate tells me it is one reason several in his family are leaving the Mormons (who built a church in this community about 10-12 years ago and have heavily targeted Hispanic Catholics).
 
puzzleannie said:
this year for the first time at this parish have RCIA participants who are Mormon or who have Mormon family members, and I learned yesterday non-Mormons (and those who are not properly observant) are barred from temple weddings, including parents, so I assume it is the standard practice. they can have a reception elsewhere and invite others but not to the wedding itself, and there is supposed to be part of the rite that involves only the couple, no other witnesses, but guess it is some kind of secret. one candidate tells me it is one reason several in his family are leaving the Mormons (who built a church in this community about 10-12 years ago and have heavily targeted Hispanic Catholics).
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I was Mormon so I do know a bit about the ceremony and who can and cannot attend. I also know that the reception for those who could not attend the wedding is not even going to come close to the joy of seeing my only child - my best friend - get married. However, it is one moment in her life out of many that I will not be a part of, so I will try not to let it get to me. I just never really thought it would come to this…

Annie
 
Joe_Kelley said:
I have a friend who left the Mormon Church and married a Catholic after his first wife died. He has a daughter from his first marriage. He was excluded from her temple wedding because he was no longer a Mormon. That seems to be the rule.
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Sounds about right…You not only have to be Mormon, but you have to hold a “temple recommend”…I understand why they do it, but I do not agree that it is right. There are never any exceptions to the temple wedding rules; they are and always will be for those who are considered “worthy”…

Annie
 
jI think it may not be just temple weddings. I think non-Mormons are excluded from the temple at all times.
 
Joe_Kelley said:
jI think it may not be just temple weddings. I think non-Mormons are excluded from the temple at all times.
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You are correct. There are Mormons that are not allowed in the temple too. You must have a “temple recommend” to even enter the temple…Not all Mormons are “worthy”…so sad…

Annie
 
This seems to be a favorite bugbear among exmormons and non-mormons. For exmormons, it is one of their favorite grips and yet, as members they knew the temple rules and how unworthy members and non-members are not given a temple recommend.

I am not a worthy member of the lds church and so, I will not be attending my daughters’ weddings when they do occur. But I know the rules and I chose to live my life the way I do and so, I cannot complain.

The mormon temple wedding ceremony is fast and quick. It is not a long drawn out affair and relatives can attend if they are worthy. The solution to the problem is simple. At some future date, the couple can have an exchanging of the ring ceremony for those who can not attend the temple. Most likely, it can be done better than if it were done in the temple.

In my opinion, the lds church should allow two ceremonies. One in the lds chapel and the other in the temple. This would solve the problem since all can attend a church wedding in the chapel and many are held there for those couples who do not have temple recommends.
 
why_me said:
In my opinion, the lds church should allow two ceremonies. One in the lds chapel and the other in the temple. This would solve the problem since all can attend a church wedding in the chapel and many are held there for those couples who do not have temple recommends.
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Agreed. In some other countries, that is actually the norm among LDS. This is because those countries have laws requiring that all marriages be performed publicly in order to be legal. So the legal civil ceremony is done first, then soon after the temple sealing is performed.

In the U.S. if a couple has a civil ceremony first, even in the LDS chapel performed by the bishop, they must wait a full year before being sealed in the temple. This seems to be a punitive measure to discourage civil ceremonies.

Paul
 
PaulDupre said:
Agreed. In some other countries, that is actually the norm among LDS. This is because those countries have laws requiring that all marriages be performed publicly in order to be legal. So the legal civil ceremony is done first, then soon after the temple sealing is performed.

In the U.S. if a couple has a civil ceremony first, even in the LDS chapel performed by the bishop, they must wait a full year before being sealed in the temple. This seems to be a punitive measure to discourage civil ceremonies.

Paul
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I could never quite understand why there could not be two ceremonies. First, a chapel ceremony and after that, a temple ceremony. It would make sense and take some wind away from antimormon sails.
 
Annie_B said:
Has anyone here been excluded from their children’s LDS temple wedding? I know why they do it, and I am not looking to “Mormon Bash”. I just want to know if anyone here has had this experience and how they coped with it. I do not want this to turn into a discussion purely about the LDS church; I know all I want to about it; am just looking for others with the same experience.

Thank you -
Annie
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Hi,

My aunt and Uncle could not attend my cousins(He converted to marry his wife) wedding or subsequently their grandchildren’s weddings. What my cousins did is they had a party with the family afterwards. I could ask but I believe that was it.
They didnt like it but there was nothing they could do. They were hurt but just had to deal with it.😦
I guess the party was enough.🤷
 
Annie_B said:
Did it cause problems within your family? Or did it just “blow over” eventually?

Annie
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It didn’t cause any problems. I just was the designated baby-sitter for all of the siblings who couldn’t attend since they weren’t old enough to be part of the temple ceremony. Little brothers and sisters are excluded from the wedding temple as well as parents who don’t hold temple recommends. A wedding should be a time of great happiness for the entire family, but the Mormon Church knows how to ruin the celebration.
 
Perhaps we can compare the fact that non-catholics can not receive communion with their catholic families. They are also excluded from partaking of the lord’s supper together.

For catholics, the holy communion is important and so, why exclude non-catholics? All churches have their quirks.
 
why_me said:
Perhaps we can compare the fact that non-catholics can not receive communion with their catholic families. They are also excluded from partaking of the lord’s supper together.

For catholics, the holy communion is important and so, why exclude non-catholics? All churches have their quirks.
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If we kept the families from even entering the Catholic Church together your analogy might make sense. But since we allow them to enter, sit together, and even go get a blessing from the priest if they desire to do so, it doesn’t compare at all. They can march right up to the priest with arms folded and receive a blessing even if they don’t get to receive communion.
 
BartBurk said:
If we kept the families from even entering the Catholic Church together your analogy might make sense. But since we allow them to enter, sit together, and even go get a blessing from the priest if they desire to do so, it doesn’t compare at all. They can march right up to the priest with arms folded and receive a blessing even if they don’t get to receive communion.
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And if someone presents themselves for communion it’s doubtful they’d be denied. Catholics after all don’t have a “communion recommend” they have to show to receive.
 
why_me said:
Perhaps we can compare the fact that non-catholics can not receive communion with their catholic families. They are also excluded from partaking of the lord’s supper together.
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No we can’t. It’s not the same thing.

History has the family and friends as witnesses to the life-changing event as the marriage ceremony is. Besides, a wedding is supposed to be a joyful occassion–and the happiness of the couple is supposed to be shared with family and friends. It’s not a private thing. And it certainly is not meant to cause heartbreak for the parents.
 
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