Has anyone here been excluded form their Children's Mormon Temple Wedding?

[Annie_B]

This seems to be a favorite bugbear among exmormons and non-mormons. For exmormons, it is one of their favorite grips and yet, as members they knew the temple rules and how unworthy members and non-members are not given a temple recommend.

I am not a worthy member of the lds church and so, I will not be attending my daughters’ weddings when they do occur. But I know the rules and I chose to live my life the way I do and so, I cannot complain.

The mormon temple wedding ceremony is fast and quick. It is not a long drawn out affair and relatives can attend if they are worthy. The solution to the problem is simple. At some future date, the couple can have an exchanging of the ring ceremony for those who can not attend the temple. Most likely, it can be done better than if it were done in the temple.

The LDS CHurch says that is a simple solution. It is not. It still does not take the pain away. I thought I could handle it too; until it happened to me. For a church that pretends to be all about family, they are falling miserably short of that goal when it comes to weddings

In my opinion, the lds church should allow two ceremonies. One in the lds chapel and the other in the temple. This would solve the problem since all can attend a church wedding in the chapel and many are held there for those couples who do not have temple recommends.

The LDS church says that is a simple solution; it is not. You don’t know the pain until it happens to you. For a church that says it is all about family, they are falling miserably short when it comes to weddings. I think the couple should be required to have a chapel wedding so all family members can attend and THEN they can have the required temple wedding. Now THAT would be all about family:thumbsup:

Annie

 

[Annie_B]

No we can’t. It’s not the same thing.

History has the family and friends as witnesses to the life-changing event as the marriage ceremony is. Besides, a wedding is supposed to be a joyful occassion–and the happiness of the couple is supposed to be shared with family and friends. It’s not a private thing. And it certainly is not meant to cause heartbreak for the parents.

You are right - it is not the same thing. Anyone can attend the Catholic Mass - anyone. To receive communion they must be Catholic. I would give anything to be able to at least see my daughter get married even if I do not participate!

Annie

 

[Annie_B]

And if someone presents themselves for communion it’s doubtful they’d be denied. Catholics after all don’t have a “communion recommend” they have to show to receive.

 

[Annie_B]

It didn’t cause any problems. I just was the designated baby-sitter for all of the siblings who couldn’t attend since they weren’t old enough to be part of the temple ceremony. Little brothers and sisters are excluded from the wedding temple as well as parents who don’t hold temple recommends. A wedding should be a time of great happiness for the entire family, but the Mormon Church knows how to ruin the celebration.

AMEN

 

[AMDGtoo]

You don’t know the pain until it happens to you.

That’s the truth.

And I agree that “family friendly” is not exactly true…unless the statement is clarified by the question “what family?” I don’t even think that the LDS bishops encourage the ring ceremonies held after the temple wedding ceremony. (I think that they are afraid that it might “upstage” the temple ceremony.)

 

[Annie_B]

Well, I am off to Mass and my Mormon daughter is coming with me I hope that everyone here has a wonderful day!

Annie

 

[Robert_in_SD]

I am Catholic. So is my extended family. My brother converted to the LDS before he and his wife were “sealed” in a mormon temple. (He had to tithe for a year first, and be a good mormon to get his temple recommend.) Even though my brother wanted me to be his “best man” I had to wait outside of the temple… I was not allowed past the front entry.

In a very kind gesture, my brother’s “in-Laws” stayed outside with us. We learned later that both held temple recommends, and could have attended the ceremony inside if they wanted to, but did not want us to feel like the only ones excluded.

I was upset about the exclusion, for a long time, but I was touched by the parents’ act of kindness.

Just my two cents.

Peace,
-Robert

 

[zaffiroborant]

This seems to be a favorite **bugbear **among exmormons and non-mormons. For exmormons, it is one of their favorite grips and yet, as members they knew the temple rules and how unworthy members and non-members are not given a temple recommend.

Ya what is wrong with all these Nons behaving like little kids complaining about getting the smaller ice cream cone. For heavens sale it’s just a wedding why do they care, after all we all know it’s only LDS families that care about these things. For they are all good and righteous while the rest (particularly Catholics) well let’s just say they fall short of the sterling example set by the LDS.

Just more of your belittling of non-LDS, what a surprise

I am not a worthy member of the lds church and so, I will not be attending my daughters’ weddings when they do occur. But I know the rules and I chose to live my life the way I do and so, I cannot complain.

Oddly enough the rest of us when we had kids didn’t decided to become “worthy” so we could attend our child’s possible wedding to an LDS. Stupid us

The mormon temple wedding ceremony is fast and quick. It is not a long drawn out affair and relatives can attend if they are worthy. The solution to the problem is simple. At some future date, the couple can have an exchanging of the ring ceremony for those who can not attend the temple. Most likely, it can be done better than if it were done in the temple.

Like others I’ve read that this is frowned on by many due to the possibility of diminishing the importance of temple marriage.

I could never quite understand why there could not be two ceremonies. First, a chapel ceremony and after that, a temple ceremony. It would make sense and take some wind away from antimormon sails.

Or go a long way in not creating more. In this case I think you bring an anti attitude on yourselves.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

As one of my Jewish bosses said regarding Cafeteria Catholics - If you don’t like the rules get out and form your own club with rules you like.

 

[Annie_B]

Ya what is wrong with all these Nons behaving like little kids complaining about getting the smaller ice cream cone. For heavens sale it’s just a wedding why do they care, after all we all know it’s only LDS families that care about these things. For they are all good and righteous while the rest (particularly Catholics) well let’s just say they fall short of the sterling example set by the LDS.

Just more of your belittling of non-LDS, what a surprise

Oddly enough the rest of us when we had kids didn’t decided to become “worthy” so we could attend our child’s possible wedding to an LDS. Stupid us

Like others I’ve read that this is frowned on by many due to the possibility of diminishing the importance of temple marriage.

Or go a long way in not creating more. In this case I think you bring an anti attitude on yourselves.

Please stay on topic! I was looking for those with similar experiences and support - not for the sarcasm and negativity that is creeping in.

Annie

 

[Annie_B]

As one of my Jewish bosses said regarding Cafeteria Catholics - If you don’t like the rules get out and form your own club with rules you like.

Please stay on topic! I was looking for those with similar experiences and support - not for the sarcasm and negativity that is creeping in.

Annie

 

[Annie_B]

**Thank you all who have posted to support my situation. This is going off topic and I am not posting anymore. Only a moderator can actually close the thread. Please stay kind to one another and do not let your judgment and sarcasm get the best of you.

Annie**

 

[rmcmullan]

My wife and I were married in the temple. Her folks have not been sealed so they couldn’t go and my parents are Catholic so they couldn’t go either. Did it make a difference? Not the least. The ceremony is just a ceremony and as it’s a sacred ceremony, both sets of parents understood and did not object.

Any way, it’s not the ceremony that matters. It’s everything that happens afterwards! The relationship you make, the life you have together, the kids and all the rest.

 

[Lehl]

I’m Catholic and married an ex-LDS who later converted to Catholicism. He had several younger siblings get married in the years after us. Since we don’t have any temples in town, there was travel required for these siblings’ temple weddings.

They wanted us to come and wait outside the temples. I thought that was extremely insulting and we didn’t do it. Why would I drive all that distance to sit outside and sweat (very hot climate) so that a bunch of LDS could judge me as “unworthy”?

Even if my own child became Mormon (God forbid) and wanted to get married in a temple, I would refuse to wait outside like some unwelcome puppy.

Weddings are FAMILY events and celebrations. With Mormons wanting to add exclusivity to witness such an event is extremely divisive and totally hypocritical.

“Family…isn’t it about time?”

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m Catholic and married an ex-LDS who later converted to Catholicism. He had several younger siblings get married in the years after us. Since we don’t have any temples in town, there was travel required for these siblings’ temple weddings.

is there more than one “temple” besides Salt Lake City where such ceremonies may take place? I know members of the Mormon congregation here have told me the majority of their young people do as (sadly) so many Catholics do, marry civilly first, and then come for what we could call a convalidation, or a blessing, from their elders.

 

[PaulDupre]

Yes, here is a list.

Paul

 

[puzzleannie]

thanks the site answers my question, which was that I thought the Kirtland Temple in Ohio was the first (used to live near there, have visited the information center in conjunction with geneology society work, obviously not the temple proper), good site, thanks, there is still a significant Mormon population in the NE Ohio area, and both “branches” of LDS are represented there.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

. . .

Weddings are FAMILY events and celebrations. With Mormons wanting to add exclusivity to witness such an event is extremely divisive and totally hypocritical.

“Family…isn’t it about time?”

I think Mormons have a lot in common with Catholics in some areas, and this is one. They recognize marriage as a religious rite, rather than just a family celebration. It involves not just the couple, but the congregation and God; so requires certain formality. While their restriction to the Temple is a bit more strict, it seems along the same line that the Catholic Church requires weddings to be in the Church, not at beach side or in the family backyard.

I am reminded of a wedding I attended at a local congregation. [It was a couple I met often while praying at a local abortion center.] The minister made a great point that this ceremony was not just for the bride and groom, it was for all of us present there. We were witnessing their vows, and we were thus obliged to help them keep those vows, and call them to account if they forgot or faltered.

 

[PaulDupre]

The minister made a great point that this ceremony was not just for the bride and groom, it was for all of us present there. We were witnessing their vows, and we were thus obliged to help them keep those vows, and call them to account if they forgot or faltered.

That’s exactly the point of having the wedding in public.
Marriage affects the entire community.

 

[why_me]

If we kept the families from even entering the Catholic Church together your analogy might make sense. But since we allow them to enter, sit together, and even go get a blessing from the priest if they desire to do so, it doesn’t compare at all. They can march right up to the priest with arms folded and receive a blessing even if they don’t get to receive communion.

Let me put it this way: for worthy catholics receiving the communion is the hallmark of the Mass and it is the main reason for attending. However, if all members of the family are catholic except the father or mother and they need to sit it out in the pew, it may be just a little unsettling to the person excluded from communion. I see no difference. Exclusion is exclusion.