R
Rence
Guest
Better, without a doubt. For all the reasons I’ve mentioned in my previous posts
- Status
R
Rence
Guest
Much better, because they can choose their jobs instead of being forced into a job that they can only do because they have no other skills and/or education, or because of outside pressures that tell them they can’t do something because they are merely female. Committing to an education, and being able to choose the career, sets an example for your children to follow. This has improved our culture.
R
Rence
Guest
The situation would be no different than when a woman decides with her husband if they can afford her to be at home to run the fort, or if she needs to help him by working. If the woman who works isn’t able to afford to make enough money to maintain the household, he would have to get a job and work until she is able to do so. Neither party today decides independently that they want to live a lesser lifestyle and stay home. So if men went full circle and wanted to stay home in large numbers, they would still have to decide together if they could afford to do that.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind one bit. Then women would be the doctors, lawers, teachers, senators, and house representatives, and men could stay home and run the fort. In my home situtation, I would much rather go to work and leave the household chores like laundry, vacuuming, etc. to someone else. Then when I come home, I get to spend time with kids, animals, and pick up loose ends. So if I got married, and my hubby wanted to run the household, he can have that job
And yes, it would be a good thing for our families and children and even our culture: because then there would be no stigma attached to men whose gifts are better utilized at home running the fort, while his wife’s gifts are better utilized by working as a nurse, doctor, lawyer, etc. outside the home. Then there would be no limits to a child’s dreams to become whatever they’re called to do in life.
S
Serap
Guest
A very wise response. You are more educated about human nature than you think
S
Serap
Guest
Great post, but I bolded one part that I slightly disagree with. I too can go to all of my kids’ games. I too can be home when they are done with school. I too don’t have to worry about snow days, teacher workshops or school delays.
Don’t assume that b/c a mother is working, she cannot do all of these things also. I work in a very flexible environment and have 22 days off each year, so I can book days off to be fully involved with my kids.
Cviolete, for what it is worth, you are highly educated and I think you could start working on a certificate at one of the universities in your area, to upgrade your skills (as an engineer). I’ve seen it done and it’s very doable. In Canada, we have a designation called P. Eng. You need to be working to get it, so after your certificate, you could see if there is a designation like that in your area.
S
Serap
Guest
I do believe that Warrenton is a man, a sexist and has no children of his own. I could be wrong, but the attitudes of this person are very sexist against women specifically.
I
irishpatrick
Guest
What I find sad is that so many women are taught to feel like they cannot feel happiness being a stay-at-home mom. From my limited “male” point of view, I just cannot think of any blessing humans receive that is greater than childbirth and being a mother. Yet, today motherhood simply is not held to a high esteem at all…it is just another “choice” among many. I find it all very sad.
You know, men are blessed with the Priesthood (albeit in very tiny percentages) and through the Priesthood the Grace and Salvation of Christ comes into the world, yet that would do little good if there were no mothers, because without sound mothers there would be no-one to receive the gifts the Priests bring to us through Christ!
The greatest human that ever lived (other than Jesus of course) was Mary our Lord’s Mother!
May the good Lord Bless all Mothers (and Fathers), and may the Lord show them just how blessed they really are to be Mothers. Amen!
**
]**
S
Serap
Guest
What I find sad is that so many women are taught to feel like they cannot feel happiness being a stay-at-home mom. From my limited “male” point of view, I just cannot think of any blessing humans receive that is greater than childbirth and being a mother. Yet, today motherhood simply is not held to a high esteem at all…it is just another “choice” among many. I find it all very sad.
You know, men are blessed with the Priesthood (albeit in very tiny percentages) and through the Priesthood the Grace and Salvation of Christ comes into the world, yet that would do little good if there were no mothers, because without sound mothers there would be no-one to receive the gifts the Priests bring to us through Christ!
The greatest human that ever lived (other than Jesus of course) was Mary our Lord’s Mother!
May the good Lord Bless all Mothers (and Fathers), and may the Lord show them just how blessed they really are to be Mothers. Amen!
**
I agree with you to a point, but a very high percentage of mothers in the 1950s were prescribed valium to deal with their unhappiness as a SAHM with an absent husband and father to her children.
I don’t think that many women were truly happy being a SAHM simply b/c they felt trapped and pigeon holed into this role by society.
Backtrack to the 1800s, women had many more responsibilities and did work fulltime for a living. This work may have been centred around the home (farm work, dressmaking, etc.), but they had a focus.
SAHM women in the 1950s didn’t have the same responsibilities…they simply became bored and unhappy with all of their automated appliances.
I
irishpatrick
Guest
Without evidence, I find it to be scandoulsy unfair to claim “very high percentages” of 19050s moms used drugs to get by. Please provide proof if there is any.
Beyond that, nothing I posted is wrong. Please, name on blessing that humans have that goes beyond motherhood???
E
Em_in_FL
Guest
I think your perspective is just a little limited.What I find sad is that so many women are taught to feel like they cannot feel happiness being a stay-at-home mom. From my limited “male” point of view, I just cannot think of any blessing humans receive that is greater than childbirth and being a mother. Yet, today motherhood simply is not held to a high esteem at all…it is just another “choice” among many. I find it all very sad.
I know many mothers - both Catholic and otherwise - MANY of whom regard staying-at-home in the highest esteem!.. including both those who work and those who don’t!
Where are you getting your impression?
N
Nec5
Guest
Probably from most of the people he knows. I have the same impression, and the current morality or lack of it are pretty strong evidence.Where are you getting your impression?
And I don’t blame women any more than I blame men. No matter how you cut it, it’s a 50/50 issue.
K
Katie966
Guest
I think it’s great that you esteem the work of a stay-at-home mom, and I wish that more people appreciated it as a vocation. Women who do this are often seen as not doing something “of value”- but then again, women who go to work outside the home are sometimes seen as “neglectful”.
It does seem, though, that you expect that women should all just embrace it as their only calling in life. I don’t know if you really feel this way or if it’s just coming across that way, but that is how it seems. I think you also might be a little ignorant about what stay-at-home parenting and mothering in general entails. It is not all roses and sunshine.
You mentioned that women don’t “feel happiness” at being a stay-at-home mom…but please consider that women who do this are sacrificing a lot- a paycheck, “me”-time, and also the sense of accomplishment that can come from a job, along with adult conversation. When a mother does this, her kids aren’t thanking her all the time. Her husband might not be either. The expectation that women should be overjoyed all the time to stay at home and be moms is ignorant.
C
cviolette
Guest
Those were the issues I had when I worked. Because I live in a small town, my commute was an hour each way. I wasted 2 hours in just travel time. I was working 10 hours days so that I only went to work two days a week. It was tough. I was changing days based on snow, teacher work shops, sick kids and my husband’s travel schedule. Which could be difficult for my co-workers and boss. I worked on classified projects so I could not take work home. The middle school and high school games can be as early as 3PM. It would tough to make them if they fell on work days. Plus, all the camps my kids go to in the summer. Arranging car pools would be a nightmare. Having 4 kids, all heavily involved in sports just makes for crazy schedules. And my kids do not go to school in the town we live in.
My degree is electrical engineering but most of my career was as a software engineer. I am not sure that I want to go back to engineering. Lately, I have felt the need to help people and have been thinking about social work. I guess I still need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up
S
Serap
Guest
Here you go.Without evidence, I find it to be scandoulsy unfair to claim “very high percentages” of 19050s moms used drugs to get by. Please provide proof if there is any.
Beyond that, nothing I posted is wrong. Please, name on blessing that humans have that goes beyond motherhood???
benzo.org.uk/aus1.htm
richardbrenneman.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/stunning-news-about-%E2%80%98mother%E2%80%99s-little-helpers%E2%80%99/
I have never said anything about whether or not motherhood is a huge blessing. I do believe that motherhood is a HUGE blessing and so is fatherhood.
S
SeaShoreGirl
Guest
I know I’m jumping into this a little late, but I have to say the “mothers working outside the home” is a bit narrow. Becuase, until 200 years ago FATHERS also didn’t work outside the home.
And I’m not saying that being a mother isn’t tough, but a home maker of 100 years ago had ALOT more duties and there was alot more work.
And I’m not saying that being a mother isn’t tough, but a home maker of 100 years ago had ALOT more duties and there was alot more work.
T
themeginthemoon
Guest
I can toss in my opinion and experiences here. Sorry to stomp into this thread so late in the game
My mom worked, and both of my grandmothers worked.
They were happy, involved moms and also held down the fort at home.
With my parents relationship, they definitely split more household duties than my grandparents did, and it helped ease a bit of the frustration that comes when women are expected to work AND do everything in the home.
My husband and I split things more evenly when it comes to housework and child rearing than anyone else I know. I have no idea how we got to our current state, it just happened. When one of us gets more or less busy, the other picks up/ neglects housework. If we both get bogged down with work and giving our daughter love and attention, the house gets wrecked. however, the first spare moment I get, I am more likely to clean up because I am really self conscious about having a messy home. I swear, the ‘nesting’ phase of my pregnancy never left.
We have a pretty happy dichotomy, though. I love being a mom, but ‘homemaker’ is not an appropriate title for me. I sew, cook, and clean, and my husband helps where he can (although I don’t expect him to sew outfits for our daughter, he and I just don’t have the same aesthetics). I garden, and do minor house repairs such as painting, nailing, drilling. If the electrical works go on the fritz, he steps in because he knows more about that than me.
Is this helping? It is not so cut and dry as women working=bad or women in the home = good. It all depends on the family and what works for them.
If I were at home all day long, doing nothing but chasing my daughter around and cleaning, I would lose my mind. Not to brag, but I am ‘gifted’ academically and tend to get bored if not stimulated intellectually. My job gives me a lot of flexibility, and so does my husbands! We both step in if baby girl gets sick, needs a mental health day from daycare, etc.
I pray that if our balance shifted, we would have the grace and ability to restore a working order here. When the routine changes, we try to adjust as quickly as possible and pray that the rest falls into place.
My mom worked, and both of my grandmothers worked.
They were happy, involved moms and also held down the fort at home.
With my parents relationship, they definitely split more household duties than my grandparents did, and it helped ease a bit of the frustration that comes when women are expected to work AND do everything in the home.
My husband and I split things more evenly when it comes to housework and child rearing than anyone else I know. I have no idea how we got to our current state, it just happened. When one of us gets more or less busy, the other picks up/ neglects housework. If we both get bogged down with work and giving our daughter love and attention, the house gets wrecked. however, the first spare moment I get, I am more likely to clean up because I am really self conscious about having a messy home. I swear, the ‘nesting’ phase of my pregnancy never left.
We have a pretty happy dichotomy, though. I love being a mom, but ‘homemaker’ is not an appropriate title for me. I sew, cook, and clean, and my husband helps where he can (although I don’t expect him to sew outfits for our daughter, he and I just don’t have the same aesthetics). I garden, and do minor house repairs such as painting, nailing, drilling. If the electrical works go on the fritz, he steps in because he knows more about that than me.
Is this helping? It is not so cut and dry as women working=bad or women in the home = good. It all depends on the family and what works for them.
If I were at home all day long, doing nothing but chasing my daughter around and cleaning, I would lose my mind. Not to brag, but I am ‘gifted’ academically and tend to get bored if not stimulated intellectually. My job gives me a lot of flexibility, and so does my husbands! We both step in if baby girl gets sick, needs a mental health day from daycare, etc.
I pray that if our balance shifted, we would have the grace and ability to restore a working order here. When the routine changes, we try to adjust as quickly as possible and pray that the rest falls into place.
W
Warrenton
Guest
I
irishpatrick
Guest
The first link does not point to any evidence that valium was used specifically for mothers, it just points to its use, and its use was mainly in the 60s and 70s, not in the 50s as you stated earlier. Drugs were heavily used in many forms in the 60s and 70s (legal and illegal), so no surprise there.
The second link does attempt to make those claims, but I would not call a blog reliable proof of such questionable claims. I would need true scientific traceable proof that the majority of mothers in the 50s used valium BECAUSE THEY WERE AT HOME, before I will concede your pont.
This reminds very much of the myth of the coat hanger abortions. While it is certainly true some women did use coat hangers, and some women did get some very dangerous (and sometimes lethal) abortions done, the numbers were not high and I suspect the same explosion of a myth is going on with valium as well.
IMO, we have a real problem with people not respecting the true blessings behind motherhood and fatherhood. We have a crisis with men and fathers, and likewise we have a crisis of women not wanting to be mothers, and when they are they seem to constantly want to escape that vocation…as if being a dedicated fulltime stay-at-home mother and caring for many children is somehow beneath them, as if being a mom is just not enough (yet it is the single largest blessing any human ever receives in this life imo). Yes, most of this also applies to men and fathers as well.
Oh well, being a man I easily concede that my pov is limited–so no point in continuing to rehash this stuff. The truth is women quite often (not all and not always) like being in jobs more than they like being moms. One can always tell a person’s priority. It is like when we see a car with a bumper sticker proclaiming their child is an honor student at “so and so” high school…that is a declaration of a huge priority by the parents of that child–the parents care more about their child’s academics, then they do about whether or not the child is an authentically good person. Personally, I care not much about whether a child is an honor student as much as I care whether or not they are an authentically good people (and no recyling plastic does not make a person good–it makes them politically correct).
When we pass this life I seriously doubt God will ask us if we enjoyed our careers and jobs. I do believe He will ask us what sort of person and parent we were–because THAT is what matters…how much were we really willing to give.
All of this is just my opinion and nothing more and yes much of it is generalizations so it does not apply to every person or every situation.
Thanks for all the great posts. May God bless you fully.
W
Warrenton
Guest
S
sharmin
Guest
What I find sad is that so many women are taught to feel like they cannot feel happiness being a stay-at-home mom. From my limited “male” point of view, I just cannot think of any blessing humans receive that is greater than childbirth and being a mother. Yet, today motherhood simply is not held to a high esteem at all…it is just another “choice” among many. I find it all very sad.
QUOTE]
Do you also feel that way about fatherhood? Because I believe that it is sad that so many men are taught to feel like they can’t find happiness being a stay-at-home dad…moreso than for a mom where it’s still more common.
- Status