Has your pastor tried to stop hand-holding during the Our Father? If so, what happened?

[Lepanto]

Has your pastor tried to stop hand-holding during the Our Father?

How did he try to stop it?

If so, what happened?

 

[blessedtoo]

Unfortunately, no, he has not.

 

[Theodora]

Our parish is in the Los Angeles County Archdiocese. We have stopped handholding about two years ago. Another nearby parish I go to for daily Mass also has no handholding when the Our Father is being said.

 

[Lorrie]

At my parish I’ve noticed it has spread like the plague.

 

[blessedtoo]

Our parish is in the Los Angeles County Archdiocese. We have stopped handholding about two years ago. Another nearby parish I go to for daily Mass also has no handholding when the Our Father is being said.

How did they stop it?

 

[Vittorio23]

No idea how/when it was stopped, but our parish does not hold hands during the Our Father, although I have been told we used. I would imagine that our priest probably said something to the congregation about how it wasn’t in the rubrics and that it shouldn’t be done.

 

[fellowChristian]

No. Our family keeps our hands in prayer for the whole Mass. I tell my children we are praying the Mass.

But this last Sunday we went to a different church the hand holding wasn’t an issue so much as lots of people were raising their hands during the Alleluia then twirling their wrists at the same time. It was very distracting. The “band” had their opening number and then it just seemed very “entertaining” for the whole Mass. My husband thought maybe charismatic?

 

[Lovemyfaith]

I used to go to this parish occasionally for a teen Mass. There is a “group” (I guess the youth director(s) and their kids and helpers) who sat in the front row who actually leave their pew, walk down the aisles (in line formation) and force people to hold hands across the aisle during the Our Father. I used to wonder why they didn’t micro manage all areas of the Mass, like go from person to person to make sure they were singing, etc.

 

[Catholic_Dude]

Has your pastor tried to stop hand-holding during the Our Father?
How did he try to stop it?
If so, what happened?

I read one comment here how people were holding hands during the Our Father and the priest didnt like what he saw so he went down from the Altar and separated the hands of two people holding hands…

…but that was only so he could join in in between them .

 

[ncjohn]

Just as the priest has no authority to request that people hold hands, he has no authority to stop the actions of an individual doing so either, any more than he could tell them to not hold their baby or put their hands on the back of the pew. He certainly is capable of expressing an opinion that he doesn’t like it and would prefer that people not do it, but that is as far as he can go.

As a practical matter, it is probably best that he not try to “forbid” it anyway since, having no authority to do so, if people decide to ignore him he ends up losing credibility on top of not accomplishing what he had hoped for. I actually saw that happen in a parish I belonged to and it set a negative tone right from the beginning of his tenure, though of course he was loved by the handful of people who didn’t like it.

 

[Mag_Uidhir]

Here in Ireland we don’t do that handholding stuff, it was tried on me with people from the Charismatic movement (prayer meeting) I said nicely to the lady, "I don’t hold hands " so I suggest if you want to stop it, break the chain, and tell them, "no thanks I don’t do that."
Oh and it’s not a case of not offending, it’s a case of not being a hypocrite and holding hands when I** DON’T **want too, I don’t care for the sign of peace either, if they’re offended too bad, then they shouldn’t offend me by getting me to play ring around the roses.

 

[Biblioassistant]

If people want to hold hands, that’s fine. I just don’t want anyone to hold MY hand. That’s why I sit next to a pillar and keep my hands folded and my eyes closed during the Our Father.

 

[Philothea53]

Just as the priest has no authority to request that people hold hands, he has no authority to stop the actions of an individual doing so either, any more than he could tell them to not hold their baby or put their hands on the back of the pew. He certainly is capable of expressing an opinion that he doesn’t like it and would prefer that people not do it, but that is as far as he can go.

As a practical matter, it is probably best that he not try to “forbid” it anyway since, having no authority to do so, if people decide to ignore him he ends up losing credibility on top of not accomplishing what he had hoped for. I actually saw that happen in a parish I belonged to and it set a negative tone right from the beginning of his tenure, though of course he was loved by the handful of people who didn’t like it.

I respectfully disagree. The Priest has the authority and the duty to stop practices that turn the Mass into a circus. The supposed loss of the Priest’s credibility is a problem for the parishioners not for the Priest.

 

[bengal_fan]

outsider looking in a little bit here.

i totally understand not wanting the actions of a few to distract others from worship, or even the actions of many.

i also understand that the catholic, eastern, anglican, lutheran (and others) have a bit more rules (not used in a negative term here) when it comes to the proper way of worship. and the parts that are rooted in history are amazing. but i guess i just don’t see the problem with communing with each other as we commune with God together. if it was meant to just be about us praying the mass, then why do we care if anyone else is there? i am not saying that people should be forced to hold hands, but i will hold my wife’s hand (we are one flesh) and anyone else’s that i am connected with through the body of Christ. since we are one body, technically (in a spiritual way) i am holding my own hand as well as the hand of Christ.

 

[ncjohn]

I respectfully disagree. The Priest has the authority and the duty to stop practices that turn the Mass into a circus. The supposed loss of the Priest’s credibility is a problem for the parishioners not for the Priest.

Using a prayerful position that has been around for 40 years hardly qualifies as “turning the Mass into a circus.” In fact, under Canon Law, after 30 years of continual, unreprobated use, it likely would qualify as a legitimate “custom”.

Regardless, regulation of postures is delegated to the USCCB, with the approval of the Holy See. While a priest would indeed have the authority to deal with an individual who was acting in an inappropriate manner, he does not have the authority to regulate prayer positions.

As to the credibility issue, if a leader loses credibility with his or her followers, regaining that credibility in other matters is difficult at best. The perception issue may indeed be the problem of the parishoners, but it is the priest who would have to deal with it, and if he is perceived as heavy-handed and trying to make up his own rules he may quite possibly get ignored on other things also.

 

[fix]

Using a prayerful position that has been around for 40 years hardly qualifies as “turning the Mass into a circus.” In fact, under Canon Law, after 30 years of continual, unreprobated use, it likely would qualify as a legitimate “custom”.

Where is that stated?

Granted, the holding of hands during the Lord’s Prayer seems to have become almost a tradition in some parishes throughout the country. Nevertheless, we must remember that this gesture is not prescribed, it is an innovation to the Mass, and in its goal to build unity and sensitivity, it can be alienating and insensitive to individuals.

http://www.catholicculture.org/library/view.cfm?recnum=1175

Local priests say that since the Vatican has not specifically addressed it, then we are free to do as we please: either hold hands or not. What is the true Roman Catholic way in which to recite the Lord’s Prayer during Mass?

The process for introducing any new rite or gesture into the liturgy in a stable or even binding manner is already contemplated in liturgical law. This process entails a two-thirds majority vote in the bishops’ conference and the go-ahead from the Holy See before any change may take effect.

Thus, if neither the bishops’ conference nor the Holy See has seen fit to prescribe any posture for the recitation of the Our Father, it hardly behooves any lesser authority to impose a novel gesture not required by liturgical law and expect the faithful to follow their decrees.

 

[Philothea53]

Using a prayerful position that has been around for 40 years hardly qualifies as “turning the Mass into a circus.” In fact, under Canon Law, after 30 years of continual, unreprobated use, it likely would qualify as a legitimate “custom”.

I have not been aware of hand-holding in Mass being around for 40 years. I have seen it mostly in the last few years. Regardless, people moving down the pews to grab someone’s hand and in some parishes even stringing across the aisle to hold hands like we’re all going to break out in a chorus of Ring-around-the-rosie, is not my idea of a prayerful postition.

It is interesting that you say that “in fact, under Canon Law, after 30 years of continual, unreprobated use, it likely would qualify as a legitimate “custom”.” That is the same argument I, and many others, have used regarding the wearing of veils by women in Church and when in prayer. So you see veiling as a custom that should not have been discontinued?

Regardless, regulation of postures is delegated to the USCCB, with the approval of the Holy See. While a priest would indeed have the authority to deal with an individual who was acting in an inappropriate manner, he does not have the authority to regulate prayer positions…

Has the USCCB made a statement for hand-holding? I would really like to see a link to that.

 

[buffalo]

Using a prayerful position that has been around for 40 years hardly qualifies as “turning the Mass into a circus.” In fact, under Canon Law, after 30 years of continual, unreprobated use, it likely would qualify as a legitimate “custom”.

Regardless, regulation of postures is delegated to the USCCB, with the approval of the Holy See. While a priest would indeed have the authority to deal with an individual who was acting in an inappropriate manner, he does not have the authority to regulate prayer positions.

As to the credibility issue, if a leader loses credibility with his or her followers, regaining that credibility in other matters is difficult at best. The perception issue may indeed be the problem of the parishoners, but it is the priest who would have to deal with it, and if he is perceived as heavy-handed and trying to make up his own rules he may quite possibly get ignored on other things also.

Redemptionis Sacramentum uses the language “force of custom” in grave abuses. My point - simply because something has been done for forty years does not make it right.

 

[ncjohn]

Where is that stated?

Either Canon 23 or 26 I believe. I’d have to go back and check the reference.

As to your quotes, I am not advocating imposing anything on the faithful, nor expecting anyone to follow anything. The point is that individuals are allowed to assume this prayerful position of their own initiative, just as they are allowed to fold their hands or place them on the back of the pew of their own initiative.

Nobody should be imposed upon to participate, just as nobody should be told that folding their hands is the only acceptable position. And while it may in fact become a “norm” in some parishes, that should never preclude anyone from choosing not to participate or result in someone’s preference not to being questioned.

Charity in all things.

 

[Joysong]

Redemptionis Sacramentum uses the language “force of custom” in grave abuses.

However, does R.S.specifically list hand-holding as a ‘grave abuse?’ :nope:
Big difference.