Have past sexual experiences been tough for you in future relationship?

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Tis_Bearself said:
If that were the case, few people would flag, because anyone who flags and identifies themself as the flagger runs a large risk of being harassed by the recipient of the flag. It has happened over and over on here.
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How could it have happened, since the flagging is anonymous? Just curious, no need to answer. 😉 But you are right. This topic needs to be transferred to the proper forum. (Just a short remark: “If the criticism is valid and proper - just like your is! - I have no problem with accepting it and follow the friendly advise - just like yours!)”
 
Economist said:
How could it have happened, since the flagging is anonymous? Just curious, no need to answer. 😉
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Because some people including myself have flagged and stated “I flagged this because ______” in the past. In some cases it was a way of trying to provide guidance to a poster who didn’t seem to understand how they were violating the TOS. Posters often seem completely mystified as to how what they posted could possibly be objectionable. Like I said, when one identifies themself as the flagger, one tends to get harassed, bullied, reported to the moderator etc.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Because some people including myself have flagged and stated “I flagged this because ______” in the past. In some cases it was a way of trying to provide guidance to a poster who didn’t seem to understand how they were violating the TOS. Posters often seem completely mystified as to how what they posted could possibly be objectionable. Like I said, when one identifies themself as the flagger, one tends to get harassed, bullied, reported to the moderator etc.
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I see. I never though of that, since I am not vindictive by nature, and I would I accept any constructive criticism any time. But you are right, and I will open another thread at the proper forum to pursue this line of thought.
 
I read one of his flagged posts by showing the hidden content. Nothing seemed disrespectful. Others seem to have disappeared, so maybe they were. But I suspect the Economist did nothing wrong and its one more instance of people on this forum being too dang sensistive. It seems to go in streaks, for a while I was getting posts flagged and/or for no reason at all besides I suspected the person(S) I was arguing with did not like my point. Then its been better. But the last week or so, perhaps it is happening again. I will say it again “too many flags folks”, flag the obvious transgressors and leave the rest alone.
 
That’s kind of laughable, since a lot of Catholics aren’t respectful of their own faith on here, IMO. But you are probably right.

I don’t agree with everything he posts, but see reason why the Economist was flagged. Come on people. Disagreement is not disrespect.
 
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I think flaggers who flag a post that clearly does not violate any rules should lose their flagging privileges for a month and wear a “control freak” badge of shame.
 
Once things are confessed, they are gone. Gone into the sea of forgetfulness.

Unless these things were abuse, brought a pregnancy or an STD, there is no need to discuss them.
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Has anyone found that past sexual experiences, especially if they were multiple times (I mean consensual experiences) have made it tougher for you in future relationships?

Do you feel guilty or sad or regretful or feel that you should apologize to the person you are currently in a relationship with?

For those who are married, has it been painful knowing your spouse has had other sexual experiences, whether sex or different sexual acts?
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I’m not sure what specific situation you are in, but it is commendable that some people think of the “big picture” regarding how our sins can impact others.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Once things are confessed, they are gone. Gone into the sea of forgetfulness.
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That is not 100% accurate. Whereas we are restored to a state of grace, Catholic teaching is that there are still temporal consequences. Confession does not unbreak the window, make someone “unpregnant”, reassemble an aborted baby, or cure an STD. Just the same, it does not cause the swim team to reverse and get back on the diving block, so to speak.
 
As I stated above, unless there was abuse that needs to be healed, STD or pregnancy, there is no need to discuss any of your past sins with the people you date or marry. It only brings up heartache. Spare your beloved your gritty sinny details
 
It is heartache but isn’t it better to know about the past than to wonder? Knowing my anxiety the wondering would destroy me. I’d rather know and deal with the pain
 
Exactly. When we get out of our heads and live in the now, the peace is addictive 🙂
 
That’s so hard to do, my mind constantly thinks of the past and hopes for the future but if you don’t be in the moment you miss the present. And you can’t have a future without a present.

It’s hard because something I don’t think I’m worth being happy
 
Read Matthew, chapter 10. You are worth more than many sparrows.
 
My confessor told me when I’m feeling depressed and anxious I should say Jesus, I trust in You.. Whatever happens I know my future is a good one and if I’m called to marriage as I believe I am, I know my future wife is out there and she will be very friendly and wonderful. Just gotta be patient
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
isn’t it better to know about the past than to wonder? Knowing my anxiety the wondering would destroy me. I’d rather know and deal with the pain
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If the person you are dating or considering marriage with is a faithful practicing Catholic, they have been to confession with a contrite heart and God has forgiven them. That should be enough for you. If the person isn’t quite there yet, these sorts of discussions occur to understand their view of sexuality.
 
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