Have you ever felt someone in your life was trying to "murder" you emotionally/ psychologically?

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paxvobiscum said:
but laughs in my face because he knows he can “keep” me for the rest of my life. I’m the one who left and filed for the divorce because I WAS going crazy and I had to get away from the oppression. It just hurts me so because I’ve never wanted to go to another church, and what’s the point if you don’t have the Eucharist.
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i definitely feel your pain… i have been in similar situations… but it seems to me that you could get an annulmnet, particularly if you were deceived by this person in some serious way and it sounds to me like that wouldn’t be hard to prove… You say he alwyas wins… but if he isn’t Catholic, well… i can’t see why he would win at a Catholic tribunal… (assuming the tribunal is less than objective about the situation??). I don’t know… I don’t know much about the actual annulment process… except that if one party deceived the other, led the other to believe it would be a “Catholic” marriage… and then never followed through… it could be an invalid marriage. Have you investigated the possibility??

Also… I have wanted someone special for a long time… haven’t found him yet… (thought i did, but :eek: :whacky: :banghead: …). I finally began to realize that it may not be God’s will for me to be married… even though i thought for a long time that it was… Doing God’s will is not easy… but now i have come to realize that being alone is not so bad… once you get used to it and all… I don’t know… all i am saying is that it is best to keep praying and keep submitting oneself to God’s will… Sometimes we think we want something (marriage or whatever) when deep inside… something else is going on… sounds like, for one tihng, you need time to heal… and i know all about that… :eek: & every time i thought i was healed enough (to be in a good relationship)… i found out i was wrong… but anyway, God loves me (and you) so we can trust Him… to bring us the right person when the time is right. I think that God brings us someone when we are healed… (more/less)… He doesn’t want bad marriages…

Wow… this is getting kinda deep… complicated subject… I kinda don’t know what all to say…

I guess i better just pray for you…

God bless… 🙂
 
i don’t understand this…
Lukelion said:
My nemesis is my mil, who “prays a rosary for me every day”, but also mocks us, and didn’t let us know about family pictures for their 50th until the day before.
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what is mil… who mocks who?
.
Luke 6 27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Trying to become a saint certainly isn’t easy.
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this is probably the hardest part of being Christian… forgivng some of the terrible things people do… and even forgivness is not always so hard… but praying for someone you dislike is hard… However, once you do it, it becomes 2nd nature… I just pray the rosary and when i think of those people who vex me… well, i feel that when thinking of them while praying the rosary, they are being prayed for…
 
KingAlfred said:
She’s a controller. When I first arrived, she tried to pull me under her wing. When I decided not to go there, our relationship steadily deteriorated. She ‘lands’ on all new people, for the same reason – to enlist them in her click.
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yeah, it is interesting how peple can like you one day and then, well, just because, as you say, you didn’t want to “go there” (wherever that may be), they start making trouble for you… So much for friendship… or even “love”… which is why it is SO importnat to really get to know someone before we get intimate in any way with him/her… I’ve learned that one the hard way… I always think a person is better than he really is… (so it seems…)… and then when i find out, it is often “too late” because i am emotionally attached… but with God’s help, i can “detach” a lot better than i used to…
god bless.
 
Pacbox said:
Some of what she said make it difficult for me to trust or believe in a God that loves. I can understand the concept intellectually but actually believing that God or any could actually love me is isn’t really possible for me. I can’t fathom why anyone would want to love me let alone God. I keep hoping its true but then I also expect for God to “Gotcha! Can’t love you!” and have everything come crashing down.
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I could have written this myself… What helps me the most is sitting with Jesus at the Blessed Sacrament. Havey you tried that? He definitely sorts things out for me… The other day, i was There and i was feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances… and relationships. I told Jesus that i know i should do thus and so with this one situation… but for some reason, felt I could NOT do thus and so… (Long story)… It was so weird because i just felt that there was nothing that could be done about the situation, that even Jesus wouldn’t /couldn’t do anything… (Jesus can do everything but He won’t do things such as interfere w/ a person’s free will…). anyway… in just a few minutes, i felt the problem that was vexing me was resolved… completely… :extrahappy: (at least in my mind, which is where it counts…)… It was, to me a "small " miracle…
Sometimes a person has to stay wiht Jesus quite awhile before anything “tangible” happens… because the world, the flesh and the devil SO cloud our minds… and all those cobwebs need to be knocked out before Jesus can “get in there”.
God bless… 🙂
 
Thanks for the replies! I apologize if I took the thread off topic - for myself the “marriage” lead to the emotional/psychological “murder” and when I read the topic of the post I had to comment. I am looking for information and consolation all at once and am grateful for the replies. Please keep me in your prayers.
 
distracted said:
i don’t understand this… what is mil… who mocks who?
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mil-mother in law. She is the one making fun of me. I find it a contradiction that she prays for me, but will also make fun of me.
distracted said:
this is probably the hardest part of being Christian… forgivng some of the terrible things people do… and even forgivness is not always so hard… but praying for someone you dislike is hard… However, once you do it, it becomes 2nd nature… I just pray the rosary and when i think of those people who vex me… well, i feel that when thinking of them while praying the rosary, they are being prayed for…
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It is very humbling to pray for those who hurt us.
 
distracted said:
I have a couple people in my life (mostly past life) who fit this description… and if it weren’t for Jesus…

I am SO thankful i found Him… No, that He found (and rescued) ME. If not for that, I wouldn’t be doing too well… :hypno: :ouch: For many years, i was NOT doing well… got lost in all kinds of false beliefs about God (if only subconsciously… but that’s where it counts…). One relationship was from childhood, so hard to overcome such long-term effects…

I just wanted to hear some testimonies about how others have dealt with this problem…
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This is called intimidation, and it is used to control a person. They really want you to knock their block off and then they can scream abuse. If they get you intimidating them back then they are happy. It is very hard to fight against and the person is really ill. It is best to quit the job if you can. And pray for the person as they probably were treated this way and explains it is their only way they know how to cope. The person is probably very jealous of you and if you can sit down with the person and get him/her to tell you the real problem you can ask if the person will pray with you. If No then watch out because you may be seeing a demon. It is hard to change that person if he /she doesn’t get a softener heart. This is a good thread as I didn’t know so many shared equal problems, me too.
 
distracted said:
Wow… your story almost brought tears to my eyes… I always thought those kinds of sick marriages were doomed to failure every time… would never or very rarely work out… because sickos are always sickos… (I am so cynical, i know… :rolleyes: )… i also always believed that people only overcame this kind of thing by finding Jesus in a big way… sounds like you started fixing things before you found HIm (??)…
God bless… 🙂
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Actually I believe He found us first! It just took us some time to figure it out!🙂
 
paxvobiscum said:
Yes…my husband. so glad to hear the story of the marriage that made it through. My marriage ended after the emotional/psychological abuse lead me to the psych ward on suicide watch several times. Although he did not succeed in “murdering” me I have been struggling with my desire and longing for the Church I believe in but feel I can never rejoin because I am divorced. This is a very intense topic, thanks for raising it.
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Don’t let divorce stand in your way! Come Home!!! I’m assuming your are talking about the Catholic Church. If so, please, please, please go see your local priest. He can help you.

I will pray for you! God Bless You!
 
ljahns said:
Don’t let divorce stand in your way! Come Home!!! I’m assuming your are talking about the Catholic Church. If so, please, please, please go see your local priest. He can help you.

I will pray for you! God Bless You!
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…👍 …I wholeheartedly agree! Your situation is an issue of Canon Law which can be quite involved and probably only a priest can sort it all out for you and it seems to me that you may well be able to receive the Sacraments …
 
paxvobiscum said:
Thanks for the replies! I apologize if I took the thread off topic - for myself the “marriage” lead to the emotional/psychological “murder” and when I read the topic of the post I had to comment. I am looking for information and consolation all at once and am grateful for the replies. Please keep me in your prayers.
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Will do and I agree with BarbaraTherese and ljahns.
 
Great question, and a lot of great responses have been posted.

The closest I’ve come was a long-term relationship with someone who was an emotional blackhole. I don’t think he meant to try to kill me emotionally/psychologically; he just couldn’t help it. Although, now that I think about it, if you expand the question to “spiritually,” he definitely tried to get me to ditch my Catholic faith, the way he had ditched his (which, incidentally, was a factor in his clinical depression). That one, I handled by walking away… and thank God for the good priest who helped me make that decision, too.

Family relationships are a lot harder to walk away from; I’ve had some sibling challenges. I’ve done my share of avoiding/minimizing contact/setting boundaries. That helps me to keep my head on straight when I do interact with them. So that when I think they’re out to get me, I remember they’re probably having a rotten day, too, and don’t intend to “murder” me or my mental/emotional health. But the difference between premeditated murder and manslaughter doesn’t make a heckuva lot of difference to the victim, who’s still dead, regardless of the perpetrator’s motives, or how much time he serves. So I’m still careful and try to be part of the solution, rather than the problem. Any success I’ve had in that, I credit to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.

One thing hit me as I was reading through the thread… I think maybe the television set qualifies for trying to murder us all emotionally/psychologically, and spiritually, too, and it sits in our homes, right there along with our family. I’m not a no-TV purist, but I watch a lot less than most folks I know. I’d rather read, or write.

God bless,

Ann
 
BarbaraTherese said:
…👍 …I wholeheartedly agree! Your situation is an issue of Canon Law which can be quite involved and probably only a priest can sort it all out for you and it seems to me that you may well be able to receive the Sacraments …
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A divorced person MAY receive the Eucharist without even petitioning for an annulment (if he/she has confessed all mortal sins in the sacrament of Reconciliation).

A divorced person MAY NOT receive the Eucharist"
  1. if he/she has remarried without the Church declaring the previous marriage invalid,
  2. if he/she remarries someone else who has previously been married (who is still married in the eyes of the Church), or
  3. if he/she has not yet confessed all mortal sins or is still committing them.
 
quiet52 said:
A divorced person MAY receive the Eucharist without even petitioning for an annulment (if he/she has confessed all mortal sins in the sacrament of Reconciliation).

A divorced person MAY NOT receive the Eucharist"
  1. if he/she has remarried without the Church declaring the previous marriage invalid,
  2. if he/she remarries someone else who has previously been married (who is still married in the eyes of the Church), or
  3. if he/she has not yet confessed all mortal sins or is still committing them.
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Thank you:thumbsup: …sounds spot on to me:) …
 
paxvobiscum said:
Thanks for the replies! I apologize if I took the thread off topic - for myself the “marriage” lead to the emotional/psychological “murder” and when I read the topic of the post I had to comment. I am looking for information and consolation all at once and am grateful for the replies. Please keep me in your prayers.
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Hi again PX…Check out this post here - by Quiet52 - it sounds completely in line with Church teaching, hence Canon Law, to me…although if you still are not consoled fully recognizing that you can indeed go to Holy Communion after a good confession if necessary (as Quiet52 points out in the post) have a talk with your parish priest. The one wile Satan most often will use is to drive to discouragement even despair if it can and have us think that we are justly discouraged even despairing when it is all a lie.

God Bless and keep you and may He bring you every consolation with great Peace …and I will be keeping you in prayer too…Barb:)
 
Yes, sometimes intentionally and with “malice aforethought” and sometimes unintentionally without knowing what they are doing or with what they think are the best of intentions.

An example of the former was in a previous job where someone further up the chain finally admitted that as they didn’t like some of my characteristics (eg asked too many questions, did not socialise outside work, was too helpful to colleagues, couldn’t guess what they wanted) they were going to do all they could to change me. In some ways it was a relief to have them come out with this as other people could no longer say that I was imagining it.

Sometimes I think we can be our own emotional or psychological “murderer”. For example, when we continually put ourselves down and do not recognise our achievements or what we do well. When we consider that if we are not perfect we are a disaster. When I get into this, I try and say now what would I say to a friend in the same situation and nearly always find I am much more balanced.
 
i think you are confusing me with someone else who has problems w/ co-workers… I have had this problem with family members/“friends”… but anyway,
dessert said:
. The person is probably very jealous of you
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i never would have dreamed anyone was jealoous of ME but in my later years, i have come to see that this is probably the case… and may be the case in most of these kinds of abusive situations…
If No then watch out because you may be seeing a demon.
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NO KIDDING!!!
This is a good thread as I didn’t know so many shared equal problems, me too.
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Yeah, that’s why i asked the question… because i was kinda tired of feeling… all alone… because of all i’ve been through, (& cause i love being alone with God:) ) i tend to isolate…

thanks. God bless… 🙂
 
paxvobiscum said:
Thanks for the replies! I apologize if I took the thread off topic - for myself the “marriage” lead to the emotional/psychological “murder” and when I read the topic of the post I had to comment. I am looking for information and consolation all at once and am grateful for the replies. Please keep me in your prayers.
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I was wondering if you could keep us posted on the situation??
 
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