Having doubts about converting to Catholic

[momfromwi]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities? How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public? This is the kind of crime where rarely does the criminal recover and he or she goes on to molest again. Why would God want this information to be kept secret when it could be hurting otherrs? A priest keeping this information from the police, in my opinion, would be a sin. Is this Law of the Seal of Confession something that is talked about in the Bible, or a made up Catholic rule?

There are many beautiful things about the Catholic faith, and I think Confession is a good thing, but I just see myself ever agreeing with priests keeping illegal information private. Can I still become a Catholic and disagree with this? I couldn’t possibly be the only one with these doubts.

One reason I decided to leave the Lutheran Church was because of the church now allowing gays in committed relationship to serve as pastors. I think being gay is sinful, and staying that way with the church’s permission goes against what the Bible teaches. But when I compare that with priests obstructing justice, being gay seems to be very minor. Being gay may be immoral, but hurting a child is both immoral and illegal and keeping that information to oneself is just sad and unthinkable to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions, and words of encouragement. I fear this is going to hold me back from wanting to continue with the RCIA process.

 

[edward_george]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities? How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public? This is the kind of crime where rarely does the criminal recover and he or she goes on to molest again. Why would God want this information to be kept secret when it could be hurting otherrs? A priest keeping this information from the police, in my opinion, would be a sin. Is this Law of the Seal of Confession something that is talked about in the Bible, or a made up Catholic rule?

There are many beautiful things about the Catholic faith, and I think Confession is a good thing, but I just see myself ever agreeing with priests keeping illegal information private. Can I still become a Catholic and disagree with this? I couldn’t possibly be the only one with these doubts.

One reason I decided to leave the Lutheran Church was because of the church now allowing gays in committed relationship to serve as pastors. I think being gay is sinful, and staying that way with the church’s permission goes against what the Bible teaches. But when I compare that with priests obstructing justice, being gay seems to be very minor. Being gay may be immoral, but hurting a child is both immoral and illegal and keeping that information to oneself is just sad and unthinkable to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions, and words of encouragement. I fear this is going to hold me back from wanting to continue with the RCIA process.

Don’t let this trouble you one bit. If the seal of confession was not in place, then what would stop the priest from telling the world whatever you had done? Our best hope in these situations is to pray that if such horrendous crimes are confessed that the grace of the sacrament will impel the one confessing to reveal his crimes to the appropriate authorities. One of the most beautiful things about Catholicism is that we are expected to comport ourselves as adults–and that means we are to be accountable for our actions. Which is better, the Church forcing us to do what is good, or us choosing what is good out of love for Christ? And so it is with confession. The confessional is there for us to unburden ourselves of our sins and to attain forgiveness before God, no matter what we have done. The graces confession supplies should move our hearts to true repentance–which implies making right what we have done, no matter what form that should take. And if someone confesses such a terrible crime, and yet remains unrepentant by refusing to turn himself in to civil authorities, then may God have mercy on him at the last.

-ACEGC

 

[Todd520]

Hi Mom
I wonder if you should post in another forum - non-Catholics can easly be seen as Proselytizing in reply to this thread.

I don’t think it’s fair to blame a priest for the sins of a confessor and I think the sancity of the confessional is essential to the process. If somenone is truely sorry and seeks redemption, they need a path to God and forgiveness. All confessors need full trust in the priest or they will not confess with full candor and honesty.

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities? How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public? This is the kind of crime where rarely does the criminal recover and he or she goes on to molest again. Why would God want this information to be kept secret when it could be hurting otherrs? A priest keeping this information from the police, in my opinion, would be a sin. Is this Law of the Seal of Confession something that is talked about in the Bible, or a made up Catholic rule?

There are many beautiful things about the Catholic faith, and I think Confession is a good thing, but I just see myself ever agreeing with priests keeping illegal information private. Can I still become a Catholic and disagree with this? I couldn’t possibly be the only one with these doubts.

One reason I decided to leave the Lutheran Church was because of the church now allowing gays in committed relationship to serve as pastors. I think being gay is sinful, and staying that way with the church’s permission goes against what the Bible teaches. But when I compare that with priests obstructing justice, being gay seems to be very minor. Being gay may be immoral, but hurting a child is both immoral and illegal and keeping that information to oneself is just sad and unthinkable to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions, and words of encouragement. I fear this is going to hold me back from wanting to continue with the RCIA process.

 

[momfromwi]

Sorry, where would be a better place to post this?

 

[wisdomseeker]

My dear friend.
i understand your fears but what you are doing is trying to understand everything. we cant. you came to the Church because you came to accept the Church is the One sent by God to teach all Truth to all man and in doing so, you are being obedient to Christ. i know that devil will put obstacle on the way but do not let these things trouble or discourage you. you just dont know what goes on between the priest and whoever confesses his sins. i would assume that the priest talk to the person into do the right thing. dont worry so much in finding perfection as to what God wants from you.
now that you know the Truth you must endure the suffers that comes with it. God keep you and encourage you to follow Him in Truth.

 

[CHESTERTONRULES]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities? How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public? This is the kind of crime where rarely does the criminal recover and he or she goes on to molest again. Why would God want this information to be kept secret when it could be hurting otherrs? A priest keeping this information from the police, in my opinion, would be a sin. Is this Law of the Seal of Confession something that is talked about in the Bible, or a made up Catholic rule?

There are many beautiful things about the Catholic faith, and I think Confession is a good thing, but I just see myself ever agreeing with priests keeping illegal information private. Can I still become a Catholic and disagree with this? I couldn’t possibly be the only one with these doubts.

One reason I decided to leave the Lutheran Church was because of the church now allowing gays in committed relationship to serve as pastors. I think being gay is sinful, and staying that way with the church’s permission goes against what the Bible teaches. But when I compare that with priests obstructing justice, being gay seems to be very minor. Being gay may be immoral, but hurting a child is both immoral and illegal and keeping that information to oneself is just sad and unthinkable to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions, and words of encouragement. I fear this is going to hold me back from wanting to continue with the RCIA process.

Some points to consider:

1. Society does not benefit if the molestor confesses to no one.
2. Without sealed confession the perpetrator may not ever come forward.
3. A criminal of any kind who acknowledges his sins at confession is more likely to turn himself in and seek help than a criminal without this option.
4. A priest can continue to counsel, moniter and instruct a person in this situation.
5. Ultimately, even a child molestor is loved by God and it is a Christian duty to help this individual find forgiveness and grace.

 

[CHESTERTONRULES]

Sorry, where would be a better place to post this?

This is the perfect place. Don’t worry about Todd the Mormon.

 

[Totterman]

Bless You,my reader,
this issue has come up during a few years time,and I wont discuss it moore then I need,what I say about it is that those priest will be brought to ansver for their sins,if not in a earthly court,then in a heavenly,and as a catholic I say that I am deeply sorry and feel much towards those inocent people have gone truh,and I believ that all catholics join me when I say that it is a serius matter,and we all are sorry and that the Catholic Church will deal whit this sad matter as soon as possible. Personaly,as a catholic whit the call to become a priest,even if it now longer is possible due to my age (50) I ask You to forgive,because were ther is forgivness,ther is love,and where ther is love,thats were Jesus is.
I urge You to convert if Your heart are whit You. As a priest I know,once said,“it is hard to be a catholic but so revarding” and it is. The sacrament of confession is one of the most importen,the priest cant ever tell what he hear,but confession is not a “sorry-I-wont-do-this-ever-anymoore-so-forgive-me” machine. A confession made whit no thoughts of do a change in life is useless,and even if the priest as he act “in Christi persona” (the priest don’t forgive,he do it as Jesus “stand in”) but the confesser have no plans of change his life,the sin is not forgiven in heaven.
The fact that confession are what it is,is for everyones benefit,we need to tell someone,and we need to be forgiven if our heart so tells,so don’t let this sorry matter in no way stop You and Your family from convert,do it,the fact that You already want to do so,is a sign that that is what God wants. (All what I have wrote is my own,and only my one,opinion,and has nothing to do whit what the Curch will do.) So I welcome You into the big family of catholic Christians and give my blessings to Your family and You,as a private person,hoping You one day soon will belong to us. Best wishes and my blessings,Totterman.

 

[Todd520]

Sorry, where would be a better place to post this?

This is the right forum if you are looking for non-catholic answers, but as indicated we may then be open to a charge of trying to convert you away

Wouldn’t these sub-forums be more appropriate:
Liturgy and Sacraments

Apologetics

 

[Eric_Hilbert]

It is up to the moderator, not users, as to where threads should be.
Stay on topic.

 

[lutherlic]

CHESTERTONRULES, your reply to the OP was good too.

To the OP, I left the ELCA immediately after they swung so far in the “progressive” direction in August 2009 (which they were heading in for some time, but I just would not acknowledge to myself). Don’t be discouraged by what you do not yet understand! Study and learn. You will be amazed how things begin to “click” and learn why converts say they are “home”. We are not the only Lutherans to convert!

As a practical matter, your children are far safer in the Catholic Church (at least in the US) then they are anywhere else. All other churches, organizations, sports teams, youth programs, etc. have a lot to learn from us. I am a CCD catechist this year and had to learn a lot of policies and procedures plus sign 8 forms permitting full background checks. The steps we take to protect children are extraordinary. FWIW - I wrote more on the sex scandal here.

Confession is an important sacrament of healing. If the seal were not absolute, it simply could not exist. Catholics do not have to consider if what they are confessing crosses some boundary where it could be disclosed. We all know that there is no boundary and the seal is absolute. Priests have been martyred protecting this.

Your friend may be surprised to learn the Lutheran thinking on this topic. See this article.

Feel free to contact me privately if you wish.

 

[Soler]

Some points to consider:

1. Society does not benefit if the molestor confesses to no one.
2. Without sealed confession the perpetrator may not ever come forward.
3. A criminal of any kind who acknowledges his sins at confession is more likely to turn himself in and seek help than a criminal without this option.
4. A priest can continue to counsel, moniter and instruct a person in this situation.
5. Ultimately, even a child molestor is loved by God and it is a Christian duty to help this individual find forgiveness and grace.

This. ESPECIALLY POINT 2).

I could be hideously wrong, but as far as I know this is Church law, not Church teaching. With regard to morality, the distinction is, I think, more or less is follows

Church law: The Church wants you to X (e.g. fast on Good Friday every year) until further notice, and God wants you to obey the Church, so do it if you know what’s good for you…

Church teaching: God wants you to do X (e.g. refrain from fornication) and there ain’t nothin’ the Pope nor anyone else can do about it, so do X if you know what’s good for you.

As far as I am aware, the Pope could abolish the seal of the confessional tomorrow if he wanted. He won’t, because that would be a very bad idea.

 

[SonCatcher]

Sorry, where would be a better place to post this?

The “Liturgy and Sacraments” section of Catholic Answers, probably (since your question is about the Sacrament of Reconciliation). Non-Catholic Religions (where we now are) would be better organized for comparing/contrasting Lutheran beliefs (in reference to your background). Don’t worry, stuff gets mixed up all the time. Some of the more skilled members tend to stick to their favorite sections, however.

As for your original question. The priest’s job in the Confessional is to act in the person of Christ to forgive sins. He is not in the position of men at that time so everything that is said in that room is as though it were not even said on this earth.

Most Protestants believe they confess their sins privately, silently to God without the assistance of a priest. Why and how would God report him in that case? God’s justice is not our justice.

 

[po18guy]

Nearly every convert has a similar story to tell. Your friend, bless their heart, simply wants you to remain Lutheran. There are an infinite number of hypothetical reasons not to have faith at all. We simply must put them in perspective. The only reason for converting to Catholicism is that Christ lives in the Tabernacle in His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Period. Nothing else matters. Focus strictly on Christ. I suggest spending time with our Lord in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Ask Him. He will answer you.

May Christ’s peace be with you.

 

[vsedriver]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities?

I do hope you continue on your journey to the Catholic faith.

One thing not often discussed is that the priest is not obligated to absolve someone’s sins just because they go to confession. If a molester confessed to a priest then it would have to be because he feared for his immortal soul. The priest could say that his absolution can only follow if the person confesses their crime to the authorities. If they turn themselves in, then they can be absolved. If not then they face eternal damnation.

Second, the priest doesn’t always know who is confessing. Catholics have a choice of face to face or through a screen. Unless the priest jumps up and rips open the door and grabs the guy he might have no idea who the person is. At that point the priest would be guilty of assault. And legally, the priest couldn’t say anything in a court of law that he heard in a confession. That is privileged.

The Catholic Church has put in very stringent guidelines and has been scrutinizing seminarians very carefully to weed out child predators.

Ultimately, the safety of our children falls on parents. You must be vigilant. Sadly most molestations take place among family members. They are far more likely to molest your kids than the parish priest.

 

[stormy99]

I taught VBS in our parish this summer…only after I went through the training required for anyone who interacts with children…

The Seal of the Confessional is binding on all priests…I would voice my concerns at RCIA class and see what the priest says…

It’s a tough consideration but I feel you will find as I did in the classes that all of sudden, you are Home. I don’t know how many times I have heard that from people…I knew I was home…

Certainly there are concerns humans are involved but the safeguards in place now are different…

There is nothing worse than a child molester…and you are right in being concerned for you children…talk to other Catholic Moms about it and see what they say.

stormy

 

[Marie5890]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities? How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public? This is the kind of crime where rarely does the criminal recover and he or she goes on to molest again. Why would God want this information to be kept secret when it could be hurting otherrs? A priest keeping this information from the police, in my opinion, would be a sin. Is this Law of the Seal of Confession something that is talked about in the Bible, or a made up Catholic rule?

There are many beautiful things about the Catholic faith, and I think Confession is a good thing, but I just see myself ever agreeing with priests keeping illegal information private. Can I still become a Catholic and disagree with this? I couldn’t possibly be the only one with these doubts.

One reason I decided to leave the Lutheran Church was because of the church now allowing gays in committed relationship to serve as pastors. I think being gay is sinful, and staying that way with the church’s permission goes against what the Bible teaches. But when I compare that with priests obstructing justice, being gay seems to be very minor. Being gay may be immoral, but hurting a child is both immoral and illegal and keeping that information to oneself is just sad and unthinkable to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions, and words of encouragement. I fear this is going to hold me back from wanting to continue with the RCIA process.

MomfromWi,

I hear you very real concerns and questions over this. Can I offer you a suggestion (I too went thru the RCIA process)

Post your concerns and questions in the “Liturgy and Sacraments” forum. There are some wonderful priests there who can explain it to you and why the seal of the confessional is absolute.

This question have been asked several times there and its very important people are clear as to why the seal is so important.

This is something I think you need to very clear as to where the Church stands and why it does.

It will help you decide if becoming Catholic is what the Lord is calling you to do

There is a priest over there (FrDavid69) who is very good at being very clear as to why this is so.

God bless.

 

[jmcrae]

For the past several months, I have been contemplating converting to Catholic. Last week I had my first RCIA class and my kids started CCD. I was happy and verything was going well. Then one of my Lutheran friends brought up the topic of The Law of the Seal of Confession.

Both of us have children and do not understand if a child molester confessed his sins to a priest, why on earth the priest would keep this information from authorities?

Let me ask you this: do you think you would make a full and complete Confession of your sins, if you knew that the priest was an agent of the government, and authorized to turn you in for anything you did that was illegal at the time that you did it (such as driving your car faster than the speed limit, taking something from work that did not belong to you, raising your voice to your child, etc.)

How is this helping the families of the child molesters victims, and how is this keeping the rest of the community safe by allowing a child molester to remain in public?

That’s not the priest’s job. The priest’s job is to provide God’s forgiveness of sins for you. It is more important to the priest that you be forgiven of your sins, than that you be caught, tried, and punished for them. The priest is not “obstructing justice,” since if it were his role to catch and punish people for their sins, no one would ever confess them.

After all, we never see people lined up to confess their sins to a policeman, do we?

 

[momfromwi]

Thank you for all your (name removed by moderator)ut! Your answers made sense to me, and like a previous poster said, a lot of my doubts come from not understanding everything yet. I am going to attend to my RCIA class tonight and plan to keep going on this journey, even though I’ll hit some bumps along the way. Thanks again.

 

[Catechist54]

Confession would be even less used than it is today if the seal were to be abandoned, and the Church therefore would be failing in its duty to the faithful. Christ came to save sinners, and left His Church with that commission when He returned to the Father. In other words, to view the seal of the confessional in any context other than saving souls would be inconsistent with the purpose of the sacrament. While Christ calls us to obey secular laws and rulers, and the Church always has taught that breaking valid secular laws is itself a sin, requiring priests to disclose what is confessed to them while they stand “in persona Christi” would prevent truly penitent criminals from being able to receive absolution. This could lead to loss of their eternal souls. It would be an unconscionable interference with the mission of the Church. I am not saying this is an easy teaching, but it is necessary.

As at least one other person has noted here, keep in mind that in order for absolution to be effective, the person must come to the sacrament with true contrition, which includes a firm purpose of amendment–a genuine intention to overcome the sin and its causes. If the priest is true to what the Church expects of him, he will counsel the penitent to go to the authorities and confess his crimes just as he has confessed his sins to Christ, or else he has the option to withhold absolution. If he does grant absolution, he may do so on the condition that, as penance, the person turn himself in.

May God bless and guide you on your journey. All of us here will pray for you to come home to the Catholic Church.