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yjenkins
Guest
I feel that the only way my husband and I can move forward is if I take his word for everything. Seriously? I am on edge about all of this. This is not the first time he has betrayed me.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Then it sounds as though you will not move forward. From all of your previous posts, he doesn’t much sound like a trustworthy person. Is he still contacting other women? From what it sounds like, he wants to eat his cake and have it - he’s got you on the hook AND he gets his former single life.I feel that the only way my husband and I can move forward is if I take his word for everything. Seriously? I am on edge about all of this. This is not the first time he has betrayed me.
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yjenkins
Guest
He told me before telling me he wanted to work things out he deleted all e-mails sent and received and text messages as well. He also told me he is no longer in contact with any of the women. He told me, as we interact more and more I will come to see there is no 3rd party involved. I cannot take his word for it. I have done what he has asked of me during this process and he cannot do I am asking of him.
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HolyRosaryChild
Guest
YJ - Your husband has chosen to leave therefore my strong suggestion is for both yourself and your children (for stability in their lives) is to stay in the home. When their father has settled into a place, grant him access to both of your children with no revenge.
Whatever is in us as children growing up, generally expels, in various ways, once we marry and have children ie do not ever take personally or responsibility for your husband’s disposition, needs and wants. Many of these traits and desires are a product of our upbringing.
Next, thank him for being a wonderful father to date and inform him that the home (primary dwelling and stability for both of your children) will be gone if lawyers get hold of the separation and divorce if he attempts claiming half of the home. A great deal of money will be lost and regrets experienced by all family members.
Appoint a Lawyer of course to protect the family home in the meantime.
Remind the childrens father that when your children turn 18 or 21 yrs of age they will want their father present and look back to how the separation was handled by both parents and I have witnessed so many relationships at 21st birthdays where a parent was profoundly sad and their grown up son or daughter’s faces etched in sadness that they were estranged from their own role models that God Jesus and Our Lady Mary had appointed in their lives.
I reminded my brother-in-law of this fact upon his separation from my sister well over ten years ago, which changed my brother-in-law’s outlook and life in relation to his son growing up.
God came through in His love, wisdom and guidance!
The most important thing is to pray The Holy Rosary to Our Lady Mary for Her Divine love, wisdom and guidance through the separation. Ask Jesus to heal your husband’s soul heart mind and body and realise the love and goodness he has had within the family unit.
The only way you will get through these next few initial months/test YJ is through regular daily prayer to God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus and Our Lady Mary, leave the rest up to Our Holy Divine Father xxxxx
Whatever is in us as children growing up, generally expels, in various ways, once we marry and have children ie do not ever take personally or responsibility for your husband’s disposition, needs and wants. Many of these traits and desires are a product of our upbringing.
Next, thank him for being a wonderful father to date and inform him that the home (primary dwelling and stability for both of your children) will be gone if lawyers get hold of the separation and divorce if he attempts claiming half of the home. A great deal of money will be lost and regrets experienced by all family members.
Appoint a Lawyer of course to protect the family home in the meantime.
Remind the childrens father that when your children turn 18 or 21 yrs of age they will want their father present and look back to how the separation was handled by both parents and I have witnessed so many relationships at 21st birthdays where a parent was profoundly sad and their grown up son or daughter’s faces etched in sadness that they were estranged from their own role models that God Jesus and Our Lady Mary had appointed in their lives.
I reminded my brother-in-law of this fact upon his separation from my sister well over ten years ago, which changed my brother-in-law’s outlook and life in relation to his son growing up.
God came through in His love, wisdom and guidance!
The most important thing is to pray The Holy Rosary to Our Lady Mary for Her Divine love, wisdom and guidance through the separation. Ask Jesus to heal your husband’s soul heart mind and body and realise the love and goodness he has had within the family unit.
The only way you will get through these next few initial months/test YJ is through regular daily prayer to God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus and Our Lady Mary, leave the rest up to Our Holy Divine Father xxxxx
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yjenkins
Guest
I have another update. Last night he sent me a text stating “This blows” insinuating that this blows because we are not together as a family. At midnight he sent me at text stating “Happy new Year. Maybe this will be our year.” Seriously? If you really really want to make things right, why don’t you meet me there. Meet my needs?
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Those are positive messages. Meet him where HE is, that last message sounds really nice. Tell him “Yes, we can make it our year, if we BOTH work on it.” He could have said, “Happy New Year and I filed the divorce papers.”I have another update. Last night he sent me a text stating “This blows” insinuating that this blows because we are not together as a family. At midnight he sent me at text stating “Happy new Year. Maybe this will be our year.” Seriously? If you really really want to make things right, why don’t you meet me there. Meet my needs?
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aicirt
Guest
I haven’t read all the posts except the recent ones from Christmas. What better time to be with you and the kids than at Christmas? Was he? Apparently, only on the 25th and you did not hear from him after. Even if you were just going with him and he was trying to woo you this would be unacceptable.
No, he’s not meeting your needs even at the most festive time of the year. How disheartening for the kids too. He should want to be with his family now but it doesn’t look like it is of major importance.
New Year’s? He didn’t want to take you out? Didn’t plan on being with you and the kids?
This is harsh but stop expecting him to meet your needs. Start treating yourself like you wish to be treated. Care enough about yourself to not care about him.
No, he’s not meeting your needs even at the most festive time of the year. How disheartening for the kids too. He should want to be with his family now but it doesn’t look like it is of major importance.
New Year’s? He didn’t want to take you out? Didn’t plan on being with you and the kids?
This is harsh but stop expecting him to meet your needs. Start treating yourself like you wish to be treated. Care enough about yourself to not care about him.
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yjenkins
Guest
I did not respond to his text messages. I’m not sure if I should or how to. He has lied to me and betrayed me. He has talked to other women during this process. I am hurt and in pain. I do not trust him at all. His refusal to be open with me about anything raises red flags. All in all, I am hurt. I will only move forward if he is willing to be open with me and meet my needs.Those are positive messages. Meet him where HE is, that last message sounds really nice. Tell him “Yes, we can make it our year, if we BOTH work on it.” He could have said, “Happy New Year and I filed the divorce papers.”
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yjenkins
Guest
I do not expect him to meet my needs. He makes all these claims about wanting to work things out and yadda yadda. Okay, you make all these claims. SHOW ME. As far as treating myself the way I wish to be treated, believe me, I do.I haven’t read all the posts except the recent ones from Christmas. What better time to be with you and the kids than at Christmas? Was he? Apparently, only on the 25th and you did not hear from him after. Even if you were just going with him and he was trying to woo you this would be unacceptable.
No, he’s not meeting your needs even at the most festive time of the year. How disheartening for the kids too. He should want to be with his family now but it doesn’t look like it is of major importance.
New Year’s? He didn’t want to take you out? Didn’t plan on being with you and the kids?
This is harsh but stop expecting him to meet your needs. Start treating yourself like you wish to be treated. Care enough about yourself to not care about him.
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kaylynn7800
Guest
Hon, practically everything applies to me. Looking at your posts was like deja vu. I know
your pain, and I so raise you up to Almighty God. I want to tell you there is a quick fix for
us, but there is not. We have to do what we do to get through. Know that the Holy Family is looking over our shoulders. I am sorry for the children, but be strong and you will serve as their shining example. You are at the top of my prayer list.
kaylynn7800
your pain, and I so raise you up to Almighty God. I want to tell you there is a quick fix for
us, but there is not. We have to do what we do to get through. Know that the Holy Family is looking over our shoulders. I am sorry for the children, but be strong and you will serve as their shining example. You are at the top of my prayer list.
kaylynn7800
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yjenkins
Guest
It is painful however throughout this process I have learned a lot about myself and overall learned a lot. I am not going to lower my standards. I am going to stick to my guns. The ball is on his side of the court. In the mean time, I wil continue to be a mother and serve God. Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to pray for me.
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kaylynn7800
Guest
Hon, do not let your expectations of him get too high. When we do that, we have far to
fall, and it hurts a lot. After five mos. I think my phone will ring or I will get an email. My
priest told me to tell myself: reality says no miracles are expected to happen. Comfort
yourself with prayer and friends all around. You are doing the right thing being on the Forums for support.
I have had prayers said for me at the Vatican, at the grotto at Lourdes, etc. that God’s
will be done, and I accept it. I, too, wanted to believe in the trustworthiness of my husband’s words. I am asking my special saint, Faustina, to beg the Lord’s mercy on
you. Be comforted by your guardian angel. I send you thoughts and prayers…
kaylynn7800
fall, and it hurts a lot. After five mos. I think my phone will ring or I will get an email. My
priest told me to tell myself: reality says no miracles are expected to happen. Comfort
yourself with prayer and friends all around. You are doing the right thing being on the Forums for support.
I have had prayers said for me at the Vatican, at the grotto at Lourdes, etc. that God’s
will be done, and I accept it. I, too, wanted to believe in the trustworthiness of my husband’s words. I am asking my special saint, Faustina, to beg the Lord’s mercy on
you. Be comforted by your guardian angel. I send you thoughts and prayers…
kaylynn7800
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yjenkins
Guest
My expectations are not too high. I’m asking for the bare minimum and he can’t even do that for me. If he cannot be transparent, I cannot move forward with him.
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yjenkins
Guest
Is it worth taking a risk and believe in his words?
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yjenkins
Guest
After meeting with my counselor who happens to be Catholic, he told me that if I want to save my marriage I should take the risk and move forward with my husband. To let my husband know that I do not trust him at all and that this will take time. In other words, he wants me to take his word. Seriously? After everything he has done to me? I’m too hurt. Honestly, I am not ready to move forward. I’m not in a position emotionally to move forward. I cannot get the image of him talking to other women out of my head.
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yjenkins
Guest
Well…he called. He told me that if he allows himself to be transparent, it will be like handing over control to me and me controlling him. He also said that he is being stubborn about this whole situation. I guess the positive side about this is that he is willing to go to Retrovive. I have to say this, when we do talk, via phone or text, and the Convo does not go too well, it puts me on edge and I am an emotional roller coasted. In Away I feel that he is some sort of Debbie downer. He ruins my mood and my day.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
When is the next Retrouvaille in your area? I hope it works for you, I know it has for many couples.Well…he called. He told me that if he allows himself to be transparent, it will be like handing over control to me and me controlling him. He also said that he is being stubborn about this whole situation. I guess the positive side about this is that he is willing to go to Retrovive. I have to say this, when we do talk, via phone or text, and the Convo does not go too well, it puts me on edge and I am an emotional roller coasted. In Away I feel that he is some sort of Debbie downer. He ruins my mood and my day.
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yjenkins
Guest
The next one is February 1. I’m going to get more information and discuss it with him. I just feel…he throws me off in a real bad way. He gives off this real bad vibe. It’s hard to explain. All I can say is that I do not trust him at all. He has hurt me too much.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
I understand. It can’t be easy for you.The next one is February 1. I’m going to get more information and discuss it with him. I just feel…he throws me off in a real bad way. He gives off this real bad vibe. It’s hard to explain. All I can say is that I do not trust him at all. He has hurt me too much.
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yjenkins
Guest
This is very hard for me. Because there are trust issues, I’m find it very hard to move forward…Because he refuses to be transparent and wants me to take his word for everything, makes it even harder.
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