He wont marry me

[sharmin]

A prostitute is a person who gives away sex in exchange for something else. Yes, it is usually for money, but it can be for anything. In the OP’s case, it was for what she thought was love, as it is for most of us. Yes, you can use the word “fornicator” but the reason I used the word prostitute was to make a point, to show her that she is on the level of one who sells his or her body for sex. You may not like to look at it that way, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Actually, it’s not true, unless you can find in the dictionary a definition that says giving sex away for love in prostitution.

I used the analogy earlier in my posts about a house being on fire. If someone is in a house that is on fire, you have to do whatever is necessary to get them out of that house, and that may mean breaking down doors and windows. And that is what I did in this case. The fact that she couldn’t clearly see that she needed to get out of this relationship and get out immediately showed that she did not understand or could not face up to the fact as to how wrong it is. So I yelled “Fire!” Yes, sometimes you do need to get in someone’s face in order to wake them up. Ever hear of tough love?

I never saw Jesus making up inflamatory names to shame someone into learning the truth of their sin.

I still think you are just all about feelings and using the politically correct words.

Actually, I don’t think I ever said you had to be politically correct…just accurate.

 

[Brooklyn]

Actually, it’s not true, unless you can find in the dictionary a definition that says giving sex away for love in prostitution.

I never saw Jesus making up inflamatory names to shame someone into learning the truth of their sin.

Actually, I don’t think I ever said you had to be politically correct…just accurate.

So if the definition can’t be found in the dictionary, it couldn’t possibly be correct? I don’t think so.

If you insist that only the dictionary can be right, here is what miriamwebster.com says:

1 : to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money
2 : to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes : debase <prostitute one’s talents>

The word “especially” does not mean “always.” Look it up. I think that the second definition also applies.

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prostitute

As they say, the proof is in the pudding. Gabbiedear told me that she is not offended by what I wrote, and in fact, she already knew it. It would seem that she is going to do what needs to be done.

Jesus did use “inflammatory” names - what do you call the word “hypocrite?” Why do you think he used that word? I guess he didn’t know about political correctness. What about the woman at the well, when he told her that yes, in fact, the man she lived with was not her husband. What was he implying there?

I still don’t see how I am being inaccurate.

 

[ChosenAndCalled]

Everyone is going after me, but I have to say I think this is out of line. Being caught in sin is not matter of just “growing a spine.” The only way we can be freed from the prison of sin is through the Grace of God. If freeing ourselves from sin was as easy as “growing a spine” or just “pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps”, Christ wouldn’t have had to die.

GabbieDear desperately needs the Grace of God. Counseling can certainly be of help, but she will never be free without Grace, nor will any of us.

My argument was that GabbieDear needs to be honest with herself. But once she does that, then she needs to depend on the Grace of God to help her do what is right.

I, for one, called you out not because you chose to be harsh or mean, but because you seem to post rebuke without love. Your posts seem deeply rooted in self-righteousness and self-pride.

Many other people have managed to convey the same sense of her lifestyle being unacceptable and detrimental to her life here on earth and in eternity without using words designed to inflame or incite.

Standing up and screaming “prostitute” does not make you a beacon of truth, it makes you a grandstander and someone who appears to be impressed with their own rigtheousness. I, for one, am not impressed.

 

[Brooklyn]

I, for one, called you out not because you chose to be harsh or mean, but because you seem to post rebuke without love. Your posts seem deeply rooted in self-righteousness and self-pride.

Many other people have managed to convey the same sense of her lifestyle being unacceptable and detrimental to her life here on earth and in eternity without using words designed to inflame or incite.

Standing up and screaming “prostitute” does not make you a beacon of truth, it makes you a grandstander and someone who appears to be impressed with their own rigtheousness. I, for one, am not impressed.

I was not trying to impress you or anyone else. I was trying to make GabbieDear see that there is only one answer to her situation, and it was one she didn’t want to face. And thank God, she has seemed to face it.

I guess you’ll have to ask Jesus why he “screamed” the word hypocrite to the Pharisees. I guess he was just grandstanding and trying to impress people with his own righteousness.

 

[cthulhubryan]

*You have received good advice Gabby. Another thought too…when someone says ‘‘I’m not ready to get married,’’ (after THIS long) it really means…’‘I’m not ready to marry YOU.’’ Sadly, that is how I see it.
*

I agree with the wisdom of whatevergirl. 9 years is a long time, a 3 year old child is yet another issue. Do you wish to define the roll of a woman to being one who is used but not married? I will not judge you or your actions, but I would recommend a serious “come-to-Jesus” meeting with your boyfriend.

You have my prayers.

Bryan

 

[cthulhubryan]

I think you are the one who is acting very self righteously. You are completely destroying your life and that of your daughter, and all you can think about is the fact that I call things what they are. You are acting as an unpaid prostitute. I’m sorry if that doesn’t sit right with you, but that is the truth.

I am giving you the best advice anyone could give. You are living cut off from God, your life is a mess and you are destroying your daughter’s life, and unless you repents and change your way of life, it will only get worse. It is because of situations like yours that so many kids don’t even know the difference between right and wrong. They go out and repeat what their parents did, they either bring unwanted children into the world and or they have abortions. Millions of lives have been and are being destroyed this way.

What do you think our Lord would say?

I, for one, feel our Lord would speak with kindness. Our beloved sister Gabby is in a bad spot. She knows it and the Lord has told her so. The fact that she came here looking for support shows that she knows she is doing wrong and wants to stop. As her brothers and sisters, we should be here to offer advice and prayers not condemnations.

Bryan

 

[Brooklyn]

I, for one, feel our Lord would speak with kindness. Our beloved sister Gabby is in a bad spot. She knows it and the Lord has told her so. The fact that she came here looking for support shows that she knows she is doing wrong and wants to stop. As her brothers and sisters, we should be here to offer advice and prayers not condemnations.

Bryan

It’s so interesting. You condemn me for naming a sin for what it is. Just naming something is not condemning it. If I called it something it is not, that would be wrong. Also, I admitted that I have been guilty of the same sin myself. I did not make myself better than anyone else. Because I have been guilty of that sin, I know from experience how harmful it is.

You all feel that I condemned Gabbie, but she does not feel that way. Why do you think that is?

Why do you feel it is okay to condemn me? Why don’t you reach out to me with advice and prayers if you think I am so wrong? I guess what I am saying is that you seem to have a double standard here.

I am not condemning anyone. And I don’t think that the post you quoted shows that at all.

 

[ChosenAndCalled]

Show me where anyone has condemned you for naming the sin? We’ve suggested that your fault is you fail to rebuke in love and show no compassion toward a suffering woman. Do you expect a pat on the back for chosing to use ugly words and phrases for something that can be equally spoken with care?

Continuing to cast yourself as unfairly criticized, while at the same time mistating what that criticism is, is a sign of self-martardom.

 

[whatevergirl]

*I don’t see a huge deal with what Brooklyn said, to be honest. Not everyone has the same ‘‘admonishing’’ style. lol For lack of a better phrase. St Paul didn’t candy coat…I don’t either, but my style is just different that’s all.

Let’s not lose the focus of the thread…it’s about Gabbie’s situation, not Brooklyn’s style. As an aside, people from Brooklyn are very blunt…I grew up in NJ, and they are too. I think it’s just their way. Don’t come to south Florida if you think Brooklyn’s blunt. *

 

[Brooklyn]

Show me where anyone has condemned you for naming the sin? We’ve suggested that your fault is you fail to rebuke in love and show no compassion toward a suffering woman. Do you expect a pat on the back for chosing to use ugly words and phrases for something that can be equally spoken with care?

Continuing to cast yourself as unfairly criticized, while at the same time mistating what that criticism is, is a sign of self-martardom.

Your post speaks for itself.

 

[ChosenAndCalled]

Your post speaks for itself.

So glad the message finally got through to you.

 

[joandarc2008]

Would you please stop bickering and turn your attention back to the OP. This is ridiculous. Start another thread if you want to debate the use of name-calling/tough love! Right now you are just making Catholicism look as if it is an unloving, uncaring religion. Please, lets turn our attention back to the OP and find out where her head is at and what she needs from us because it sounded as if she was coming around as this thread was continuing and I would hate to run her away from a place of love and support.

 

[ChosenAndCalled]

Would you please stop bickering and turn your attention back to the OP. This is ridiculous. Start another thread if you want to debate the use of name-calling/tough love! Right now you are just making Catholicism look as if it is an unloving, uncaring religion. Please, lets turn our attention back to the OP and find out where her head is at and what she needs from us because it sounded as if she was coming around as this thread was continuing and I would hate to run her away from a place of love and support.

Irony in action?

When an OP stops posting, as this one did a while ago apparently, then either one of two things happens: the thread dies, or the thread morphs. In this case, I chose to believe that the thread morphed because of the uncharitable words used by some posters.

 

[cthulhubryan]

It’s so interesting. You condemn me for naming a sin for what it is. Just naming something is not condemning it. If I called it something it is not, that would be wrong. Also, I admitted that I have been guilty of the same sin myself. I did not make myself better than anyone else. Because I have been guilty of that sin, I know from experience how harmful it is.

I condemned no one. I simply saw what appeared to be quite a bit of anger in many replies to Gabby.

I apologize for the fact that since I did quote you my comments could be taken as , but my comments were meant to everyone.

I will also pray for you.

 

[GabbieDear]

I came here to give a quick update.
But before I can do that I feel the need to address that this thread has gotten way out of control.
First of all, was it offensive to be called a unpaid prostitute? I will be lying if I said it didn’t sting. I am living in sin and that is a fact. Is my sin comparable to prostitution? No. Do I feel that the poster opened my eyes and gave a rude awakening? No. There is no justification for the name calling even if the intention was not to cause harm. People come here to seek advice and maybe in desperate need of help and attitudes like that will do no good even if you are trying to make a point across.
There is lots that is wrong with my situation that I would like to resolve so I will not be addressing the “prostitution” anymore.

Now, I meet with a Father yesterday morning and has set up a meeting for Saturday (tomorrow) with my BF and I. I brought the meeting up to my BF and to my surprised he agreed to the meeting. Father offered some much needed advice and was a good listening ear. He is willing to help me with any concerns and decisions I need to make. I am confident that this will end well and I know that wether I end up in matrimony or not I still have a long way to go to come home again to Catholicism.

 

[sharmin]

I still don’t see how I am being inaccurate.

That’s because you don’t want to see. That’s okay…No one ever seems to admit their wrong on these boards, and I’m not going to argue semantics anymore. It’s pointless. If you feel calling someone an “unpaid prostitute”…(meaning unpaid…not being paid money, or ANYTHING), then I guess I can’t argue with you. You won’t see it.

Do you honestly mean to tell me that you didn’t mean to ridicule or shame her?

 

[sharmin]

Standing up and screaming “prostitute” does not make you a beacon of truth, it makes you a grandstander and someone who appears to be impressed with their own rigtheousness. I, for one, am not impressed.

I agree with this.

 

[sharmin]

It’s so interesting. You condemn me for naming a sin for what it is. Just naming something is not condemning it.

You aren’t just naming a sin. You did NOT simply say “You are fornicating.” You said she was being an unpaid prostitute. Again, would you like me to use untrue, inflammatory language to call out your sins? Cheater! Lyer! Hater! I would think that no matter what you say, the reality is you would not.

You all feel that I condemned Gabbie, but she does not feel that way. Why do you think that is?

Becuase you shamed her. What else is she going to say?

 

[sharmin]

I don’t see a huge deal with what Brooklyn said, to be honest. Not everyone has the same ‘‘admonishing’’ style. lol

True, but we are called by scripture to tell the truth…in love. If that’s just her style, I think she may need to rethink her style.

 

[sharmin]

I came here to give a quick update.
But before I can do that I feel the need to address that this thread has gotten way out of control.
First of all, was it offensive to be called a unpaid prostitute? I will be lying if I said it didn’t sting. I am living in sin and that is a fact. Is my sin comparable to prostitution? No. Do I feel that the poster opened my eyes and gave a rude awakening? No. There is no justification for the name calling even if the intention was not to cause harm. .

Brooklyn, please take note of that.

GabbieDear, pray and read scripture. Daily. Many times a day. God will give you the discernment of what you need to do and the strength to do it.

In Christian love,