Head Covering During Mass

[michaudme]

I just started wearing a veil at Mass this past year. I read a book by Alice VonHildebrand called “The Privilege of being a Woman”. It really helped me to understand what a beautiful tradition this is. It is a sign of holiness, devotion and obedience. It not only honors our Lord, but it is a way of honoring one’s husband. Also, in 1 Cor. Chapter 11 St. Paul encourages women to cover their heads when they pray. Wearing a veil has really enhanced my prayer life. Several men have approached me and told me that it has also blessed them, and funny thing, only one other woman has asked me about it.

 

[beckers]

See, we do agree.

I feel that men have lost the sense of their God given role. They no longer seem to know that God has a special place for them and for women, and that it is not only women who are blessed with God’s gifts. Many women today would reject the idea that the husband is the head of the wife (not all, many).

Anyway, it will not settled any time soon.

Wooah we agree on something. This is one of my biggest pet peves wtih society in general. The blending of the sexes and their roles. We are different and instead of complain about what we don’t have or can’t do, we should embrace our difference!

 

[beckers]

I just started wearing a veil at Mass this past year. I read a book by Alice VonHildebrand called “The Privilege of being a Woman”. It really helped me to understand what a beautiful tradition this is. It is a sign of holiness, devotion and obedience. It not only honors our Lord, but it is a way of honoring one’s husband. Also, in 1 Cor. Chapter 11 St. Paul encourages women to cover their heads when they pray. Wearing a veil has really enhanced my prayer life. Several men have approached me and told me that it has also blessed them, and funny thing, only one other woman has asked me about it.

How did you feel when you first started wearing it? was it intimidating at mass to be one of the only people to wear one? did you feel like you stuck out? (i am asking because my friend just gave me one and i am thinking of wearing it this weekend but am nervous)

 

[Tom317]

Wooah we agree on something. This is one of my biggest pet peves wtih society in general. The blending of the sexes and their roles. We are different and instead of complain about what we don’t have or can’t do, we should embrace our difference!

I agree completely, which is why I am wroking to get a real answer on this head covering thing. It is just one small piece, but I feel that if it were definitively held to be an active law, then that can be a start to get back to where God intended.

Without doubt women were wrongly trreated for a long time, but now it is swinging too far the other way, and our families and our culture is suffering because of the loss of true men.

 

[Tom317]

How did you feel when you first started wearing it? was it intimidating at mass to be one of the only people to wear one? did you feel like you stuck out? (i am asking because my friend just gave me one and i am thinking of wearing it this weekend but am nervous)

If you decide to wear it, please come back here and tell us how it went.

 

[catholicrocks]

I just joined the message boards today so I could post on this topic. I am a 28 yr. old married woman who only just started wearing the veil 2 yrs. ago. I felt the Lord calling me to this for a very long time. It used to be that I would be one of the ones thinking, “Ugh, that is so weird” but I began to see the beauty in it a few years ago. I knew that it was something God was asking of me, but I just couldn’t build up the courage to do it. I didn’t want people staring at me, and I didn’t want to be considered “one of the weird ones.” But, while I was struggling with this, God put a beautiful family into my parish and into my life.

I remember watching this family with 6 children come into church each week. It was so beautiful, the children were so pious and so reverent (even the little ones!) and the mother and the girls would be wearing their veils. It brought me to tears more than once. As I was struggling with this, I began to ask our pastor questions about it. He is incredibly holy and so very faithful, and he encouraged me to talk to the mother of that very family. When I approached her with questions, she was so kind and answered them all, emailed me links to find more information, and encouraged me. She also shared her story with me, and it turns out that she, too, was touched by a family in the same way I was touched by hers. There was no pressure, just that gentle nudge that you get from people or experiences when you know that God is telling you that this is what you are supposed to do.

Finally, in 2005, on one of my visits to Mother Angelica’s Shrine in Hanceville, AL for Divine Mercy Sunday (one of my very favorite feasts), I decided that this would be the day I would finally wear one for the first time. There it was easy - a lot of women wear them, but the real challenge was going to my home parish - the one I’ve gone to my whole life - and wearing it. The first time, after Mass, our pastor came outside to catch me and tell me how beautiful and awesome my veil was. This was just further proof that I was doing the right thing.

 

[Tom317]

I just joined the message boards today so I could post on this topic. I am a 28 yr. old married woman who only just started wearing the veil 2 yrs. ago. I felt the Lord calling me to this for a very long time. It used to be that I would be one of the ones thinking, “Ugh, that is so weird” but I began to see the beauty in it a few years ago. I knew that it was something God was asking of me, but I just couldn’t build up the courage to do it. I didn’t want people staring at me, and I didn’t want to be considered “one of the weird ones.” But, while I was struggling with this, God put a beautiful family into my parish and into my life.

I remember watching this family with 6 children come into church each week. It was so beautiful, the children were so pious and so reverent (even the little ones!) and the mother and the girls would be wearing their veils. It brought me to tears more than once. As I was struggling with this, I began to ask our pastor questions about it. He is incredibly holy and so very faithful, and he encouraged me to talk to the mother of that very family. When I approached her with questions, she was so kind and answered them all, emailed me links to find more information, and encouraged me. She also shared her story with me, and it turns out that she, too, was touched by a family in the same way I was touched by hers. There was no pressure, just that gentle nudge that you get from people or experiences when you know that God is telling you that this is what you are supposed to do.

Finally, in 2005, on one of my visits to Mother Angelica’s Shrine in Hanceville, AL for Divine Mercy Sunday (one of my very favorite feasts), I decided that this would be the day I would finally wear one for the first time. There it was easy - a lot of women wear them, but the real challenge was going to my home parish - the one I’ve gone to my whole life - and wearing it. The first time, after Mass, our pastor came outside to catch me and tell me how beautiful and awesome my veil was. This was just further proof that I was doing the right thing.

Awesome–thank you for sharing that.

 

[michaudme]

It does take a touch of courage to wear the veil, but it is for our Lord. My husband really supports me while my 16 year old son said, “nice doily mom” and my 13 year old daughter won’t wear one no matter how much I encourage her.

Wearing a veil at Mass is a great blessing to me. It has helped me deepen my prayer life. I am the only one who wears one at the Mass I attend. I am also in a wheelchair so I stick out like a sore thumb, but it is not about what others think. I wear it to honor my Lord. It has blessed others though and those who don’t like it have kept that to themselves. My advice…be bold for the Lord!

 

[adrift]

If the Church required a head covering, it would be a boon to the almost dead hat industry.

I have made this comment many times.

Paul was commenting on a cultural thing. Paraphrasing he said that if it was not a shame for a women to cut her hair than it wasn’t a shame for her not to wear her veil. So you should be railing against women cutting their hair since this is also what Paul says. The veils they wore then are hardly the same that women are wearing now. The veils would be closer to what the Muslim women wear today.

To the OP Find a head covering that your wife wants to wear to bed she is that fond of it. Don’t suggest she wears it to church but encourage her to wear it often. Leave the Church alone otherwise it will become a battle of wills.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

One of the main reasons (not the only one) for women head coverings is that it symbolizes that the husband is the head of the wife (as Christ is the head of the man).

Maybe that’s one of the reasons I don’t feel called to wear a veil. As a never-married older woman, there is no (human) male head of the household here – the only male in my household is a cat. If the church said “you have to”, I would, but again, it would be a hat, not a veil.

 

[slyboots]

One thing I wish to make very clear…IMO the wearing of a headcovering does not make one holy.
And the lack of a headcovering does not imply the woman is impious.

I believe women may do well to wear headcoverings. I believe many of us are moved to do so by the Holy Spirit in order to bring us closer to being the women God intended.

If you do not feel this way I will not judge you as lacking in fervor for God. Nor when I wear one can you assume I believe I am closer to God than you.

We are sisters in Christ. Covered or not.

 

[adrift]

One thing I wish to make very clear…IMO the wearing of a headcovering does not make one holy.
And the lack of a headcovering does not imply the woman is impious.

I believe women may do well to wear headcoverings. I believe many of us are moved to do so by the Holy Spirit in order to bring us closer to being the women God intended.

If you do not feel this way I will not judge you as lacking in fervor for God. Nor when I wear one can you assume I believe I am closer to God than you.

We are sisters in Christ. Covered or not.

:clapping: Well Said

 

[catholicrocks]

Please do not think that I am implying that a woman who does not wear a veil is impious. Most of the women in my family do not, including my mother, and she is one of the absolute most pious and faithful women I have ever known. Who do you think taught me to love our faith so much?!

My post was already too long yesterday, so I wanted to wait to say more. My point is that if you are called to wear the veil, God is going to let you know about it. It is for Him that I wear it. To me, it is a reminder of my weakness; that I am nothing without Him, and it calls me to humility and submission before Him. It also serves as a reminder to honor my husband as the head of our home and our marriage. I am a willful (read: stubborn) woman in my third year of marriage. So, really learning about and trying to understand and follow God’s plan for marriage is something I have to work on every day. The veil is a little something that God has given to me to help me along the way as a Catholic woman and wife.

I don’t care at all now if people think I’m weird or “one of those” Catholics. Fine by me! I just want any woman who may be thinking about wearing the veil to be encouraged to do so. That is what I needed in finally taking the step to do it. But, I certainly don’t want to force it on someone who has no desire to wear one. They aren’t any less Catholic for not wearing one, and I think wearing it in vain makes it moot. (Sorry this is totally long again!)

 

[beckers]

Please do not think that I am implying that a woman who does not wear a veil is impious. Most of the women in my family do not, including my mother, and she is one of the absolute most pious and faithful women I have ever known. Who do you think taught me to love our faith so much?!

My post was already too long yesterday, so I wanted to wait to say more. My point is that if you are called to wear the veil, God is going to let you know about it. It is for Him that I wear it. To me, it is a reminder of my weakness; that I am nothing without Him, and it calls me to humility and submission before Him. It also serves as a reminder to honor my husband as the head of our home and our marriage. I am a willful (read: stubborn) woman in my third year of marriage. So, really learning about and trying to understand and follow God’s plan for marriage is something I have to work on every day. The veil is a little something that God has given to me to help me along the way as a Catholic woman and wife.

I don’t care at all now if people think I’m weird or “one of those” Catholics. Fine by me! I just want any woman who may be thinking about wearing the veil to be encouraged to do so. That is what I needed in finally taking the step to do it. But, I certainly don’t want to force it on someone who has no desire to wear one. They aren’t any less Catholic for not wearing one, and I think wearing it in vain makes it moot. (Sorry this is totally long again!)

Don’t be afraid to post. your post are easy to read and not nearly as long as some others. Welcome to the Forums

 

[Writer]

This has been a really thought-provoking thread, and I appreciate the honesty and devotion expressed in the shared personal stories. I guess the reason I never paid a great deal of attention to Paul’s writings on the head coverings is that I was taught in my New Testament class at college that this instruction dealt more with the pagan culture of the times, and that it was to separate the Christian women from the pagan “priestesses” and whatever else they were up to. But perhaps this interpretation is incorrect?

I have seen people wear the veil who strike me in other ways as not sincere and doing it more for show, but it’s important that we keep these feelings in check and avoid judging those around us. I suppose it all comes down to heart and sincerity. If the person is wearing the veil to stick out or be noticed, than the veil would not be right for that person. If the person, on the other hand, is able to wear the veil and focus on God and not care what others think, then it is probably a blessing to that person and the Church to express the devotion to Christ in such a sincere way. So, that said, I don’t think the veil would necessarily even be appropriate for every woman in the religious culture in which we live. Just my thoughts…

 

[Convert_in_99]

Just my :twocents:. Very NON-feminist woman speaking here. I know I am taking the plunge by entering this debate in the first place but here I goooooo…

The head covering is fine for those who like it. I won’t discourage anyone from wearing it. But it is by no means manditory. Women are precious in God’s eyes too. In Jewish times, when the headress rule for women was imposed, women were second-class citizens at best, and treated like cattle at worst. With all the downgrading realities of women today (abortion, contraception, etc.) why add another symbol to confuse it all?

From a practical perspective, I know that it can be very distracting to others, as they focus more on the woman’s veil than on the Mass. In bringing the woman seemingly closer to Jesus, she may be distracting others away from Him. Also, it is a form of EXTREME piety in today’s church, I hope they realy practice what they are preaching under there. A veil dosen’t cover a multitude of sins. Otherwise, EVERYONE would be wearing one, men included.

 

[catholicrocks]

How did you feel when you first started wearing it? was it intimidating at mass to be one of the only people to wear one? did you feel like you stuck out? (i am asking because my friend just gave me one and i am thinking of wearing it this weekend but am nervous)

I wanted to respond to this post too. Please wear it, and tell us what happens! I am not going to lie and say that I was not nervous or extremely self-conscious because I totally was! It also took forever for me to try out a bunch of different ways, and finally find the best one to keep it from slipping! Seriously, it does take some time to get past the feeling of sticking out, but the only way to get over it is to wear it. You eventually won’t even think about it anymore. My biggest concern was that if someone asked me about it that I wouldn’t have an answer that sounded like I knew what I was talking about and why I was wearing it. “The Lord asked me to” was good enough for me, but it doesn’t really explain it to inquiring minds, right? I had to really work to focus on His asking me to do it, and letting go of worrying about if I stuck out or not.

Like I said, now I don’t care if people look at me or not. There is also a little part of me who loves being a rebel, and if wearing the veil, and all it stands for, is considered rebellious (regarding society’s point of view), then that’s cool…

 

[beckers]

I wanted to respond to this post too. Please wear it, and tell us what happens! I am not going to lie and say that I was not nervous or extremely self-conscious because I totally was! It also took forever for me to try out a bunch of different ways, and finally find the best one to keep it from slipping! Seriously, it does take some time to get past the feeling of sticking out, but the only way to get over it is to wear it. You eventually won’t even think about it anymore. My biggest concern was that if someone asked me about it that I wouldn’t have an answer that sounded like I knew what I was talking about and why I was wearing it. “The Lord asked me to” was good enough for me, but it doesn’t really explain it to inquiring minds, right? I had to really work to focus on His asking me to do it, and letting go of worrying about if I stuck out or not.

Like I said, now I don’t care if people look at me or not. There is also a little part of me who loves being a rebel, and if wearing the veil, and all it stands for, is considered rebellious (regarding society’s point of view), then that’s cool…

I was talking to two of my guys friends last night and they both mentioned how beautiful they thought the veils was and that i should wear it. One said he would go to mass with me so that i wouldn’t feel werid. Got to love guy friends like that!

Actually my reason for feeling the calling to wear one is very simple. I sometime call myself the pondering handmaiden. I want to strive to be like our mother and just say yes and let the lord use me as his handmaiden. I was at church one day and saw a girl dressed for her first communion. It reminded me of a bride. Then i got to pondering: Little girls at first communion wear veils as they receieve Jesus for the first time and a bride wears a veil when she is entering in a marriage so why stop at just these two celebrations? Isn’t every mass a wedding feast? Aren’t I accepting Jesus into my body and soul when receiving communion so shouldn’t i also be veiled?

This is my thought process right or wrong. I have gone through a lot of spiritual changes the last few months and these thought keep poppping in my head so i am going to try it out. I think even if i don’t go to mass with my friend that i will wear it by myself after all i go to mass ever weekend by myself so it wouldn’t be any different if people looked at me werid for being a single women.

I like your idea about being a rebel to society. I am trying to find ways to share my faith with others so maybe wearing a veil will get people to ask me about my faith .

i will let you know how it goes.

 

[beckers]

Just my :twocents:. Very NON-feminist woman speaking here. I know I am taking the plunge by entering this debate in the first place but here I goooooo…

The head covering is fine for those who like it. I won’t discourage anyone from wearing it. But it is by no means manditory. Women are precious in God’s eyes too. In Jewish times, when the headress rule for women was imposed, women were second-class citizens at best, and treated like cattle at worst. With all the downgrading realities of women today (abortion, contraception, etc.) why add another symbol to confuse it all?

From a practical perspective, I know that it can be very distracting to others, as they focus more on the woman’s veil than on the Mass. In bringing the woman seemingly closer to Jesus, she may be distracting others away from Him. Also, it is a form of EXTREME piety in today’s church, I hope they realy practice what they are preaching under there. A veil dosen’t cover a multitude of sins. Otherwise, EVERYONE would be wearing one, men included.

I honestly hadn’t thought about it as a form of piety. i thought of it more as a respect for the lord. If you see my earlier post to tom i talked about how you can’t just judge a women based upon the fact that she is wearing a veil. She could be using birth control or having an affair or being using it as a way to gain attention. Who knows. I will give a fellow women the benefit of the doubt. I do hope that everyong is practicing what they are preaching when the receieve communion but once again you can’t judge someone’s heart and intentions. You have to trust in God’s mercy.

Thanks for joining the discussion. I am so amazed at the level of maturity in people discussing the veil instead of arguring which normal leads to the thread being closed. I wonder if this is a record for the longest open thread on headcovering?

 

[Convert_in_99]

Thanks for joining the discussion. I am so amazed at the level of maturity in people discussing the veil instead of arguring which normal leads to the thread being closed. I wonder if this is a record for the longest open thread on headcovering?

I very much liked your post! We have similar thinking.

I tried to be civil about it. It really dosen’t bother me one way or the other. I just don’t want any women out there to think its a rule. It’s optional piety, just as is the scapular, a devotion to a certain saint, or anything of that nature. It’s neither good nor bad, and it can be both. BUT, it is OPTIONAL!