Help Advice about Finding good catholic Men!

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I am curious as to why you think an education for a woman is wasteful?

You may want to be a stay at home mom - but even the best laid plans can go south.

Gosh - I have no idea what a pickle I’d be in if I had no education as the sole parent. Things happen in life that no one can anticipate. Like the death of a spouse or the sudden loss of job, illness etc.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not wish that on any one but things happen.
 
wjp984 said:
I think others have mentioned this but if you decided to go to college, you could at least receive a good education and have a back up plan in case you ever had to work.
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Exactly. For one thing, what if something happens to your husband and you find yourself widowed? You should not have to feel pressured to remarry for economic reasons. Besides, your wait for the first husband may be longer than expected (especially if you are looking for a practicing Catholic in this day and age, as I’ve found in looking for a wife). You need more skills than cooking and changing diapers to survive today (although you did say you were learning business from your mom).

Also, please realize that from a man’s perspective, it is a turn-off when a woman is looking for a guy for economic security, so that is another reason to ensure that you can support yourself. I had an experience after Mass a few weeks ago where I was giving a ride home to a lady after mass and she just kept talking about her financial problems and said “You work in __? You must make a lot of money.” I definitely would not give her my phone number after that.
 
A very good liberal arts education teaches you how to think, how to apply yourself and proves that you are capable of begining a process and seeing it through to the end.

A wife who can carry on an interesting conversation with her husband and their friends or business associates is usually a woman who has had a good, solid education.

Remember, life hands you challenges you least expect. My Italian Grandmother was left a widow at the age of thirty with two little babies in a new land where she barely spoke the language. The only thing she knew how to do was be a ladies’ maid and cook. When she met my grandfather she was doing very physical labor to support her children. She vowed that none of her girls would ever be in that position and all my aunts (as well as my mother who is now 85) were given good solid educations after high school in case they needed to support THEIR children in the case of a sudden death or illness.

Become a well rounded woman. Your children will thank you for it.
 
Kasi said:
This is very frustrating! I wrote a long reply and it deleted it all!!!

So the points. I am an activily waiting for Mr. Right! I am Second oldest at home and I do well everything {not an exageration}. I am preparing for marrige by playing mom to my young sibs. I am also praying for him daily. I will know when I meet him cause he will draw me colser to Christ which is what I want! I am planning on getting more involved in my church we just moved here {house # 22}. I am learing about Business from my mom. I dont need college. It’s a waste of time in my opinion. Not so much for men but I think for most women. But I didn’t come on here to bash colleges now did I! lol:D

I think there was more but i am already out of time. So Any thoughts?

P.S. I am very conservative and I havn’t met any man young or old that veiws the church the same way as I do!

Thanks All,

God Bless
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then why not try and go where the ‘conservative’ Catholic men your age are - oh, wait…that would be a good, traditional Catholic COLLEGE…

oh well.
 
As the wonderful posters above have mentioned, an education is very good especially considering the fact that it is an asset for getting a stable job.

Plus, if you’re thinking about kids, you should desire to financially support your little ones so that they can grow up with food in their bellies and a home in which to live (while at the same time feeding yourself and your hubby).
I’m working towards a degree right now because of course I enjoy what I’m doing but at the same time I want to support any future little ones that come into the picture.
Go to college and enjoy the education; it’s something that you will look back on and say that you wished you could do all over again. Much love,

-Alison
 
And if you decide to homeschool your children, an education can only help, not hurt…
 
Sheesh. The poor girl asked about where she can find nice guys and gets lectured about why she HAS to go to college. Give it a break! If she isn’t interested in that, then why waste the time? Afterall, you’re not likely to get much out of something you aren’t seriously committed to, anyway. If, later on, she wants to go “back to school”, then she certainly can. But it’s not for everyone and it’s not necessarily the only route to getting a sustainable job or a good boyfriend. Sounds to me like this young lady has a solid background, a good head on her shoulders, and knows what she wants out of life better than most people her age. I’ll take the chance to commend her for that and offer my show of support rather than trying to finnegel her into following whatever my own preferred path for someone else’s life might be. Here’s hoping you find a man who’s recognizes what you’re really worth.
 
Norseman82 said:
Also, please realize that from a man’s perspective, it is a turn-off when a woman is looking for a guy for economic security, so that is another reason to ensure that you can support yourself. I had an experience after Mass a few weeks ago where I was giving a ride home to a lady after mass and she just kept talking about her financial problems and said “You work in __? You must make a lot of money.” I definitely would not give her my phone number after that.
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While I agree with this statement, I must note the irony in that some are here suggesting that “all the men your age who will make enough money to support you one day are now in college”. Such a mentality only confirms that which she already believes about the worth (or worthlessness) of a university experience.
 
As others have said, college isn’t just a place to find the kind of guy you’re looking for (which may be quite a job in and of itself), it’s a place where you’ll become both more educated and (hopefully) more mature. You aren’t ready to marry yet, let alone have children. You’re 17, and you’re looking for some kind of man who really only exists in what may seem like dreams, but are really nightmares. What you’ve said indicates you’re looking not for a loving, caring husband and partner in life, but for a sugar daddy who doesn’t care what kind of mind or personality you have. Setting yourself up to be a mere trophy wife is far beneath you or anyone.

Go to college and get a proper education – in fact, aren’t you still in high school at that age? Education isn’t just a way to meet men, it’s an end unto itself. It’ll make you better-rounded and literally more a person than you would be otherwise. Don’t focus on getting yourself a rich husband; for now, look to yourself, better yourself, come out as an intelligent, educated human being, then start looking for love, because only then will you truly find it.

If you don’t consider yourself any more than a possession for some wealthy man (because that’s really what you’re talking about being), why should anyone else? Get over that, and do it fast – you only have 70some years to live, so do it right. Live your own life, and don’t let anyone – not parents, not siblings, not potential husbands, not hypothetical children who are yet far in the future – dictate it for you. It’s your responsibility, and your privilege. Use it, and use it well and wisely.
 
Y’all may not be aware of the huge financial debt that is normally incurred with college. I’ve heard it stated that statistically speaking the most effective form of birth control is college debt. If she hails from a large family and plans to have a large family college isn’t always realistic financially.
 
Mirdath said:
As others have said, college isn’t just a place to find the kind of guy you’re looking for (which may be quite a job in and of itself), it’s a place where you’ll become both more educated and (hopefully) more mature. You aren’t ready to marry yet, let alone have children. You’re 17, and you’re looking for some kind of man who really only exists in what may seem like dreams, but are really nightmares. What you’ve said indicates you’re looking not for a loving, caring husband and partner in life, but for a sugar daddy who doesn’t care what kind of mind or personality you have. Setting yourself up to be a mere trophy wife is far beneath you or anyone.

Go to college and get a proper education – in fact, aren’t you still in high school at that age? Education isn’t just a way to meet men, it’s an end unto itself. It’ll make you better-rounded and literally more a person than you would be otherwise. Don’t focus on getting yourself a rich husband; for now, look to yourself, better yourself, come out as an intelligent, educated human being, then start looking for love, because only then will you truly find it.

If you don’t consider yourself any more than a possession for some wealthy man (because that’s really what you’re talking about being), why should anyone else? Get over that, and do it fast – you only have 70some years to live, so do it right. Live your own life, and don’t let anyone – not parents, not siblings, not potential husbands, not hypothetical children who are yet far in the future – dictate it for you. It’s your responsibility, and your privilege. Use it, and use it well and wisely.
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I have a comment about the age thing. I agree that 17 is young for the type of relationships we have today. BUT our society has become more complex than our biology. we are ready for parenthood very young. indeed the virgin mary was probably only 15 when she got the incredible responsibility of bearing God!

Back then to be a non virgin before marriage was rare i am sure. however to be unmarried at seventeen was unheard of i am also sure.

God did not create us to not be married until 29 years of age. that is a recent societal development.
 
Kasi said:
Hi My name is Kassandra and I am New here!

I was wondering where are all the good Catholic men? I have a strong call to the Married life and I am trying {really I am} to be patient in waiting for God to bring me the right man. But I thought of something the other day what if the only way i was to meet someone was over the internet. To me that is not a great option but i am willing.
I am not going to go to college because i think it’s just an expensiveway to find a husband, especially when i plan on being a stay at home mother.
So the question for all of you is shouldI lower my standards? They are set very high and i don’t want to lower than at all! What can i do!?!?!

Thanks for any help!!

God Bless
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I have the same but opposite problem. There are very very few good catholic girls in the world.

However I still hold in faith to the fact that God has his timing and it doesn’t always match mine. He has a little more information that i do.

so stand firm to your beliefs and hold out. prince charming is on his way. God is forming him for you right now. Trust that God has this figured out and when the time comes you will meet him.

(God probably has him in medical school so that he can provide for the 13 children you plan on having) just kdding

blessings
 
santaro75 said:
God did not create us to not be married until 29 years of age. that is a recent societal development.
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29 is a far cry from 20-21. Kasi’s likely still in high school.

Admittedly, age is not so much the problem here as maturity (of the mental and emotional sort, not physical) is. Her body may be telling her it’s ready to go get pregnant, but she is not ready to be married, even to this nonexistent Mr. Rich Perfection.
 
the only thing i can offer is to be patient…you stated you were going to marry early, but its more important to fall in love with a good Catholic guy first…and that may take awhile, so don’t set a time limit on it…good luck!
 
Mirdath said:
29 is a far cry from 20-21. Kasi’s likely still in high school.

Admittedly, age is not so much the problem here as maturity (of the mental and emotional sort, not physical) is. Her body may be telling her it’s ready to go get pregnant, but she is not ready to be married, even to this nonexistent Mr. Rich Perfection.
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In fact, she is not even of legal age to date for men who are of marrying ability.
 
Mirdath said:
29 is a far cry from 20-21. Kasi’s likely still in high school.

Admittedly, age is not so much the problem here as maturity (of the mental and emotional sort, not physical) is. Her body may be telling her it’s ready to go get pregnant, but she is not ready to be married, even to this nonexistent Mr. Rich Perfection.
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again, what was God’s plan for marriage for women? (how old was Mary?)
 
jrabs said:
hmmm - maybe - but then again do you want your 17 yr old dating a 26 yr old?
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Well, MY 17 yr old ought to stay locked up safely in her room until she’s about 30!

But, really, it just depends upon the people involved and their maturity. There are 17, 18, 19 year old young ladies who get along just fine with men several years older than them. Maybe that’s a very good thing, in fact (and even more natural) than the delaying, delaying, delaying perpetually until you’re (never really) “ready”.
 
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