Help Finding Modest Clothes

[Debora123]

Clothing certainly isn’t one-size-fits-all. To use your first example, to remain modest, shirt size must increase proportionally as breast size increases.

YES, thank you.

I don’t get why some people don’t understand that?

 

[Debora123]

I do think it’s important to dress modestly so that we represent our Lord in the best way possible. I also don’t think it is that hard to dress modestly. Being modest can mean just throwing a sweater over a tank top or putting a long- or short sleeved tee under a shirt or sun dress… I really don’t think it’s that hard.

Again, modesty is dependent on culture. In this culture, it is not immodest to wear shorts, tank tops, or bikinis.

It really is that hard if you live in 98 degree weather with 70% humidity. But that’s beside the point.

I don’t understand how long legs would allow you to get away with more? If anything, long legs get attention.

You’re right… I guess length of legs really doesn’t make that big a difference. My apologies for that remark?

I don’t really understand why out of my huge post which contained many good points, people are obsessing so much over my comment about certain things being appropriate on some body types while not so much in others.

Difference between a black satin bra and panty set and a black bikini besides, the string that ties across your neck, is minimal.

I suppose it is minimal. That doesn’t mean people wouldn’t notice, and it still doesn’t change the fact that wearing underwear in public is not considered appropriate, and wearing a bikini to the beach, is.

 

[Spirithound]

Heck, our culture doesn’t even consider it immodest to wear a bikini to the beach, given you have the right body type for it.

Because some articles of clothing can look decent on someone while not looking all too classy on someone else. We are all of different shapes and sizes, and we usually tend to dress accordingly.

Same goes for length of skirts or shorts. I personally can get away with wearing mini skirts because I have very long, thin legs, and small “assets” if you will, and so wearing a mini skirt doesn’t expose anything that shouldn’t be exposed.

YES, thank you.

I don’t get why some people don’t understand that?

Well, it’s because you did not appear to be talking about a mere change in sizing in your previous posts. Notice in the first two posts I have quoted above, you only mention “a bikini” and “miniskirts” in a general, sweeping manner. You claim to be able to get away with wearing mini skirts because you have long legs (when, btw, you previously defined “mini skirt” as any skirt that ends above the knee), when you really mean that you can get away with wearing really short mini skirts (which you specifically claim Kathleen was not talking about).

 

[Spirithound]

I suppose it is minimal. That doesn’t mean people wouldn’t notice, and it still doesn’t change the fact that wearing underwear in public is not considered appropriate, and wearing a bikini to the beach, is.

It might imply that we, as a culture, have made an error in judgement.

 

[cviolette]

I respectfully disagree. Someone who has a bigger bootie or bigger breasts is going to need more material there to cover up those private parts. They can still wear shorts and tank tops, of course, but the length of the shorts and the coverage of the tank might need to be a little bit more ample in order to keep certain things covered.

I was not trying to say who is or is not attractive, nor was I trying to insult anyone. I was merely stating a fact.

It is much harder to dress modestly with curves. If I increase the shirt size for my breast then it is very loose on the waist and makes me look fat. I have a small waist and flat stomach, I prefer the shirt fits and is not a moo moo.

Also, I have muscular legs. So my pants tend to be tighter on the legs and butt but not tight on the waist. I was wearing my sons hand me down jeans and decided I prefer to wear women’s clothes and be less modest.

I don’t want to look like cr*p to hide that I have curves. But I am more careful about cleavage and will layer my clothing.

If I am going to wear baggy clothes to hide my body than I am going to eat whatever I want. No use dieting and exercising all the time for nothing.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I respectfully disagree. Someone who has a bigger bootie or bigger breasts is going to need more material there to cover up those private parts. They can still wear shorts and tank tops, of course, but the length of the shorts and the coverage of the tank might need to be a little bit more ample in order to keep certain things covered.

I was not trying to say who is or is not attractive, nor was I trying to insult anyone. I was merely stating a fact.

More material = larger sizes (which I mentioned). It doesn’t matter what body type a woman has, it’s either modest or it isn’t. I even allowed for design differences but you can’t say tank tops and shorts are modest, even classy, on you but apparently not modest on someone else.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Again, modesty is dependent on culture. In this culture, it is not immodest to wear shorts, tank tops, or bikinis.

It really is that hard if you live in 98 degree weather with 70% humidity. But that’s beside the point.

You’re right… I guess length of legs really doesn’t make that big a difference. My apologies for that remark?

I don’t really understand why out of my huge post which contained many good points, people are obsessing so much over my comment about certain things being appropriate on some body types while not so much in others.

I suppose it is minimal. That doesn’t mean people wouldn’t notice, and it still doesn’t change the fact that wearing underwear in public is not considered appropriate, and wearing a bikini to the beach, is.

It really isn’t about wearing underwear to the beach. It is about what it covers. I don’t find bikinis modest.

And by appropriate it sounds like you really want to say attractive.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

---

Don’t eek: — What I meant was the choice to sin is a personal choice.

As someone else put it:

Nobody sins who doesn’t want to sin.

To the contrary. It’s often the most innocent and naive who are LED into sin by others.

 

[Walking_Home]

To the contrary. It’s often the most innocent and naive who are LED into sin by others.

---

Sin is still a choice made by the person who sins.

 

[Debora123]

Well, it’s because you did not appear to be talking about a mere change in sizing in your previous posts. Notice in the first two posts I have quoted above, you only mention “a bikini” and “miniskirts” in a general, sweeping manner. You claim to be able to get away with wearing mini skirts because you have long legs (when, btw, you previously defined “mini skirt” as any skirt that ends above the knee), when you really mean that you can get away with wearing really short mini skirts (which you specifically claim Kathleen was not talking about).

What makes you think that’s what I mean? Please don’t make assumptions about me or what I meant.

I will no longer comment on posts about my remark on certain things being modest on some body types, while not so much on others bc it is a strawman and seems like ppl are picking on that bc they cannot refute what I was actually trying to convey on my long posts.

 

[Debora123]

It might imply that we, as a culture, have made an error in judgement.

You know what? I’ll even give you the benefit of the doubt and say “maybe we have.” (though I 100% disagree).

Anyway, if this in fact WERE a big error in judgement and therefore a big sin, then I find it pretty strange that the Church hasn’t put a ban on 2 piece bathing suits.

I also find it completely out of line to be hammering someone for doing something (wearing a bikini) that isn’t even against Church doctrine. I think it’s prideful and “playing God.” If YOU don’t feel comfortable in bathing suits and YOU have a problem with it, fine, don’t wear one. Don’t go to the beach. Don’t go to the pool. Close your eyes when you see someone wearing one. But please don’t hold others accountable for doing something that isn’t against the Church. It is a judgement that is very out of place.

There is a reason why the Catechism doesn’t go into specifics when it comes to what is and is not modest to wear, while being very very specific on many other issues - especially regarding sex.

 

[Debora123]

It is much harder to dress modestly with curves. If I increase the shirt size for my breast then it is very loose on the waist and makes me look fat. I have a small waist and flat stomach, I prefer the shirt fits and is not a moo moo.

Also, I have muscular legs. So my pants tend to be tighter on the legs and butt but not tight on the waist. I was wearing my sons hand me down jeans and decided I prefer to wear women’s clothes and be less modest.

I don’t want to look like cr*p to hide that I have curves. But I am more careful about cleavage and will layer my clothing.

If I am going to wear baggy clothes to hide my body than I am going to eat whatever I want. No use dieting and exercising all the time for nothing.

Do whatever feels comfortable for you. You definitely don’t have to “hide your curves,” and I’m sure you are a beautiful girl. I didn’t mean to imply that girls with bigger curves must hide them, I was only saying that body type matters when you’re looking for what looks appropriate on you. I’m sure you can wear some things that would look totally bland on me.

My favorite stores are Express and Gap, and I think they have a variety of different sizes and styles for many different body types. I’m sure you’ve heard of them before, have you ever tried them out?

express.com/home.jsp
gap.com/

 

[Debora123]

It really isn’t about wearing underwear to the beach. It is about what it covers. I don’t find bikinis modest.

Yes, it covers about the same amount, depending on the bikini and depending on the underwear. All the private parts are covered, and while going to the beach in the Western World, that’s all that’s required and normal to wear to the beach. It’s appropriate swimming attire.

And by appropriate it sounds like you really want to say attractive.

Actually, by appropriate I really want to say appropriate.

 

[cviolette]

Do whatever feels comfortable for you. You definitely don’t have to “hide your curves,” and I’m sure you are a beautiful girl. I didn’t mean to imply that girls with bigger curves must hide them, I was only saying that body type matters when you’re looking for what looks appropriate on you. I’m sure you can wear some things that would look totally bland on me.

My favorite stores are Express and Gap, and I think they have a variety of different sizes and styles for many different body types. I’m sure you’ve heard of them before, have you ever tried them out?

express.com/home.jsp
gap.com/

I do agree with you that different bodies certain clothes that would be immodest on one, are fine on the other person.

I had just wanted to clarify that the larger size for woman with larger breast and bigger behinds doesn’t always work. I was getting carried away with the modesty by wearing baggy clothes. It is just not a good look. It is much harder to look immodest with certain assets. I know curves can be a code word for overweight. I don’t mean overweight.

I like Gap, Old Navy, Bob Store and JcPenny. It is hard to find a pair of jeans that fit but I did recently find two

 

[Debora123]

I do agree with you that different bodies certain clothes that would be immodest on one, are fine on the other person.

I had just wanted to clarify that the larger size for woman with larger breast and bigger behinds doesn’t always work.

Yes, that is exactly what I meant, thank you. Which is why I stressed different styles of clothes, not just different sizes. You get it.

I was getting carried away with the modesty by wearing baggy clothes. It is just not a good look. It is much harder to look immodest with certain assets. I know curves can be a code word for overweight. I don’t mean overweight.

I like Gap, Old Navy, Bob Store and JcPenny. It is hard to find a pair of jeans that fit but I did recently find two

Good for you! And please don’t ever think you need to walk around in sweats just bc you have feminine curves! Some people might think so (though in the vast minority), but as I’ve made it quite clear, I disagree with such extreme levels of “modesty.” To me, that’s just oppression.

 

[Joan1969]

You know what? I’ll even give you the benefit of the doubt and say “maybe we have.” (though I 100% disagree).

Anyway, if this in fact WERE a big error in judgement and therefore a big sin, then I find it pretty strange that the Church hasn’t put a ban on 2 piece bathing suits.

I also find it completely out of line to be hammering someone for doing something (wearing a bikini) that isn’t even against Church doctrine. I think it’s prideful and “playing God.” If YOU don’t feel comfortable in bathing suits and YOU have a problem with it, fine, don’t wear one. Don’t go to the beach. Don’t go to the pool. Close your eyes when you see someone wearing one. But please don’t hold others accountable for doing something that isn’t against the Church. It is a judgement that is very out of place.

There is a reason why the Catechism doesn’t go into specifics when it comes to what is and is not modest to wear, while being very very specific on many other issues - especially regarding sex.

 

[ndeparis88]

Yes, that is exactly what I meant, thank you. Which is why I stressed different styles of clothes, not just different sizes. You get it.

Good for you! And please don’t ever think you need to walk around in sweats just bc you have feminine curves! Some people might think so (though in the vast minority), but as I’ve made it quite clear, I disagree with such extreme levels of “modesty.” To me, that’s just oppression.

I think that there are woman out their who wear bikinis’ to flaunt what they have. These are the same woman that if you look at them they will probably call you a pervert. I feel as though some woman just do it for the attention. That being said I’m also not saying that if you have curves you should hide them, but I mean some girls don’t even where bikini’s there more like g strings you wear to the beach. Even though I am a guy I’d rather see woman wearing vintage bikini’s like ones with polka dots that you can’t just blow off in the wind. I think even today Women where things that men take as inviting, and I’m not saying they where them on purpose . I’m just saying in general.

 

[Joan1969]

You know what? I’ll even give you the benefit of the doubt and say “maybe we have.” (though I 100% disagree).

Anyway, if this in fact WERE a big error in judgement and therefore a big sin, then I find it pretty strange that the Church hasn’t put a ban on 2 piece bathing suits.

I also find it completely out of line to be hammering someone for doing something (wearing a bikini) that isn’t even against Church doctrine. I think it’s prideful and “playing God.” If YOU don’t feel comfortable in bathing suits and YOU have a problem with it, fine, don’t wear one. Don’t go to the beach. Don’t go to the pool. Close your eyes when you see someone wearing one. But please don’t hold others accountable for doing something that isn’t against the Church. It is a judgement that is very out of place.

There is a reason why the Catechism doesn’t go into specifics when it comes to what is and is not modest to wear, while being very very specific on many other issues - especially regarding sex.

Hi Deborah,

Sorry that I mistakenly left a post with just quotations and no reply. I tried to correct it, but ran out of time.

I don’t think the Church needs to define each and every thing. In choosing clothes to wear, the main thought should be how it will affect others, men specifically. Lots of men (who want to practice purity) have struggles seeing women when they wear short skirts, immodest shirts, bikinis etc. They are not abnormal, and it’s not “their problem”. We should make it as easy on them as we can.

Modesty flows naturally the virtue of purity. Fashion is fine in its place, but it is easily trumped by modesty issues.

I saw an appeal to heat in a previous post; I forget by whom. I can only say that modest clothes do not make me less comfortable at all, even when our Maryland temps approach three digits. If anything, light cotton helps with the sun.

Regarding swim suits, modest ones can be found. I found one in a swim shop. It’s a one piece that is very nice; it just happens to cover the entire bust and the upper thigh. Good for casual swimming anyway.

I note that a great many posts on this thread is being taken personally. I’d just say in advance that I only wish to share what I think the principles are; I judge nobody personally.

God Bless,
Joan

 

[Joan1969]

Hello to all,

Citations from the CCC to support my previous points:

1. Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness…
2. …Modesty is decency. It inspires ones choice of clothing… (italics CM)
3. There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body… Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies

It is not the task of the CCC to go down a laundry list of specific body parts or fashion types, yet I think the above puts some limits on what is reasonable for a Catholic. We do, of course, each need to bring individual judgement to the table as well.

God Bless,
Joan

 

[ndeparis88]

I think modesty goes along way toward humbleness. I mean if you are one that has curves in all the right places as they say and you put a hard effort into modesty I think it goes a lot to your character and you you see yourself as being seen by others. I would like to again say I have no intentions of being oppressive or anything but I’m not like other guys when they see a woman with curves at the beach in a 2 piece I say oh how beautiful your dwelling place is oh lord, where as most other men will be thinking of something else. No one’s perfect I’m getting better and better at saying this, however I know my fellow man pretty well. We have this underlying thought process that if a girl is wearing a very exposing bikini then she is “easy” as they say, and we start objectifying instead of gaining respect, where as a girl who is less exposed and I’m still in the two piece realm we have more wonder because we can’t immediate tell how her shape is so objectifying takes a back seat. Maybe she is modest, maybe she is married, or maybe she has great curves but only a deserving man will see them. It may be even a stretch today to say that about how guys think I’m just trying to no get all psychological here.