Help! Husband has been toying with the cult called SSPX and son came out as gay to me

[jp2thegr8t]

Dear Forum,

Please pardon my questions, but I am at my whits end. My husband has been refusing to attend MASS with me because he has been reading material from a group called the SSPX. This groups sounds like the Taliban and a dangerous cult. My husband is a good man and provider, but I am afraid f this group. My son in college recently came out to me and said he was gay. He is a good boy and a loving son. I don’t know what to do and am afraid that my husband will kick him out of the house if he comes out to him. The SSPX damns all gays to hell and their is no tolerance or love. I want to keep my marriage, but I will not join this insane Taliban like Cult group and I will not have my son kicked out of the house. What should I do? I am praying the rosary every day and ask for prayers. Please help!

 

[Ad_Orientem]

Dear Madam,

These matters deserve no less than the expert advice of a priest, and possibly of a Catholic counseling professional. I strongly recommend that you bring these concerns before your pastor, or if you prefer, before the priest of a neighboring parish or monastery, and follow his advice. You may also wish to contact your local Catholic Community Services for counseling for your son and maybe yourself. God grant you strength.

AO

 

[kozlosap]

Im praying for you and your family! Love your son with all of your heart and make sure that he knows your love. The SSPX are not a cult, but neither are they faithful to our Holy Father, Francis. They refuse to believe or to state that VII was a valid council. This “fit” of theirs has been going on for almost forty years.

 

[jp2thegr8t]

I have tried to have my husband come talk to our parish priest. He will not and refers to him as a a “heretic.” I am so embarrassed.

 

[Trishie]

You certainly need to see the priest for your son’s sake and your own. It is your husband who is making division and potential division. You can’t control that, therefore your actions and decisions now concern your son and yourself.
May God guide you.
Our prayers for your family,
kindly, Trishie

 

[Butaperson]

Hello. I was actually raised in an SSPX church and have a bit of an idea of what goes on in there. I don’t believe they are a cult, they are certainly nothing like the Taliban, and are not dangerous. Basically, they practice Traditional Catholicism, and they do so exactly like any traditionalist group EXCEPT for the fact that they reject the “modern” (post Vatican-II) Church (which is obviously what separates them from the mainstream church).

The group is illicit because they ordained priests and bishops without formal permission and your husband certainly should not be getting involved there, but I wouldn’t freak out like you seem to be doing.

I too spent a certain amount of time reading and believing SSPX theology, mostly courtesy of my extensive SSPV (similar to the SSPX but more so) family. I did reject the Novus Ordo mass. It was for a short time and I eventually realized my mistake and sought to be fully received into the full and licit Catholic church.

Some of the most common things I have heard are A) that Vatican II changed things which could not be licitly changed, therefore making it heretical. This is of course false, and I’m sure that by doing some real research on Vatican II and what can be changed in the Church, your husband can come to see this. B) The creation of the Novus Ordo mass involved the (name removed by moderator)ut of Protestants and is therefore invalid. This is a surprising rumor; there were Protestants present for observation, but they certainly were not involved with any of the formal decisions. Also, I do believe that doing some research on what the mass must do and must contain will relieve any suspicions that the Novus Ordo mass is invalid, since surely it still contains everything necessary. C) The wording of the mass was changed, and therefore it is invalid. It is true that some words were lost in translation, which was not supposed to happen, however this is not the first time that the wording of the mass has been changed, it did not change any specific formulas such as the words of the consecration ( ), and in addition the Church is working to put a better and more direct translation out into the English speaking world. D) There is so much liturgical abuse stemming from Vatican II that attending any Novus Ordo mass is a risk. This is obviously a gross exaggeration, first of all. Second of all, there has been liturgical abuse since the earliest days of the Church. Third of all, if your husband is really convinced of this, he is welcome to attend a VALID Traditional Catholic mass, such as one of the FSSP.

I only hope I can help. As to your son…well, I am quite afraid I have no idea what to say to that.

Oh and just to address this one phrase: “The SSPX damns all gays to hell and their is no tolerance or love”. That is not the truth. In fact, that sounds a lot like what an atheist would say about Catholics in general. Like I said, they practice traditional Catholicism, and there is nothing that they teach differently, except for the rejection of Vatican II. If your husband tries to kick your son out of the house, remind him to practice Christian charity even if he does insist on following an illicit faction.

 

[tawny]

Dear Forum,

Please pardon my questions, but I am at my whits end. My husband has been refusing to attend MASS with me because he has been reading material from a group called the SSPX. This groups sounds like the Taliban and a dangerous cult. My husband is a good man and provider, but I am afraid f this group. My son in college recently came out to me and said he was gay. He is a good boy and a loving son. I don’t know what to do and am afraid that my husband will kick him out of the house if he comes out to him. The SSPX damns all gays to hell and their is no tolerance or love. I want to keep my marriage, but I will not join this insane Taliban like Cult group and I will not have my son kicked out of the house. What should I do? I am praying the rosary every day and ask for prayers. Please help!

Praying for the intentions of you & your family.

 

[ProVobis]

…, if your husband is really convinced of this, he is welcome to attend a VALID Traditional Catholic mass, such as one of the FSSP.

That’s what I’d advise too. But, even if he switches, I wouldn’t expect his attitude toward your son will change that much, though one never knows.

 

[Psalitte]

Third of all, if your husband is really convinced of this, he is welcome to attend a VALID Traditional Catholic mass, such as one of the FSSP.

I agree with everything you wrote and with your recommendation here, but I’d be careful saying “Valid” in this context. The SSPX also has a Valid Mass, meaning that the Priest is a true Priest and he truly confects the Eucharist at Mass, what they are not is licit( having permission under Canon Law to celebrate Mass). The SSPX has a Valid, but Illicit Mass. On the other hand the FSSP has a Valid AND Licit Mass.

 

[acadiANNA]

You are rightly concerned. There is a ministry devoted to St. Monica which prays for fallen away Catholics. Also pray to St. Michael. I will pray for your husband to return to Mass with you; also, that his love and support for your son will always be unconditional. May you persevere in hope and prayer through these serious challenges

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Contact the Courage Apostolate about your son. It is very important, for his sake, that he stay chaste and disease free. I have little sympathy for the SSPX, but the trouble with your husband pales in comparison.

couragerc.net/

 

[mwncheesehead]

Dear Forum,

Please pardon my questions, but I am at my whits end. My husband has been refusing to attend MASS with me because he has been reading material from a group called the SSPX. This groups sounds like the Taliban and a dangerous cult. My husband is a good man and provider, but I am afraid f this group. My son in college recently came out to me and said he was gay. He is a good boy and a loving son. I don’t know what to do and am afraid that my husband will kick him out of the house if he comes out to him. The SSPX damns all gays to hell and their is no tolerance or love. I want to keep my marriage, but I will not join this insane Taliban like Cult group and I will not have my son kicked out of the house. What should I do? I am praying the rosary every day and ask for prayers. Please help!

With all due respect, you need to get educated on the Society of St. Pius X (SSPX) before you start likening them to the Taliban, and accusing them of being a “dangerous cult.” The SSPX does not damn all gays to hell…where do you come up with this borderline calumny? This is an unjust rant, and I ask you to recant what you’ve said about them. They are in many ways more Catholic than some mainstream lax Catholics. The SSPX carries on the Traditional Mass and sacraments as they’ve been prayed throughout the history of the Church. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of venom thrown at the SSPX by many members of CAF, which is unfortunate.

The SSPX is in an irregular position. Pope Benedict XVI lifted any excommunication leveled against them. There is no question as to the validity of the sacraments performed by SSPX bishops and priests.

 

[mwncheesehead]

The SSPX are not a cult, but neither are they faithful to our Holy Father, Francis. They refuse to believe or to state that VII was a valid council. This “fit” of theirs has been going on for almost forty years.

Like the OP, Kozlosap, you are ill informed about the SSPX. They are as faithful to the Holy Father as any Catholic can be. They just don’t blindly accept every liturgical novelty of Vatican II that happens to pop up. The society priests mention/pray for Pope Francis in every Mass they celebrate.

The SSPX most certainly accepts VII as a council of the Church. Do they criticize many statements that came out of that council? You bet they do!

 

[Butaperson]

I agree with everything you wrote and with your recommendation here, but I’d be careful saying “Valid” in this context. The SSPX also has a Valid Mass, meaning that the Priest is a true Priest and he truly confects the Eucharist at Mass, what they are not is licit( having permission under Canon Law to celebrate Mass). The SSPX has a Valid, but Illicit Mass. On the other hand the FSSP has a Valid AND Licit Mass.

You are right, I must having been typing too fast. I apologize.

 

[Butaperson]

Hello. I was actually raised in an SSPX church and have a bit of an idea of what goes on in there. I don’t believe they are a cult, they are certainly nothing like the Taliban, and are not dangerous. Basically, they practice Traditional Catholicism, and they do so exactly like any traditionalist group EXCEPT for the fact that they reject the “modern” (post Vatican-II) Church (which is obviously what separates them from the mainstream church).

The group is illicit because they ordained priests and bishops without formal permission and your husband certainly should not be getting involved there, but I wouldn’t freak out like you seem to be doing.

I too spent a certain amount of time reading and believing SSPX theology, mostly courtesy of my extensive SSPV (similar to the SSPX but more so) family. I did reject the Novus Ordo mass. It was for a short time and I eventually realized my mistake and sought to be fully received into the full and licit Catholic church.

Some of the most common things I have heard are A) that Vatican II changed things which could not be licitly changed, therefore making it heretical. This is of course false, and I’m sure that by doing some real research on Vatican II and what can be changed in the Church, your husband can come to see this. B) The creation of the Novus Ordo mass involved the (name removed by moderator)ut of Protestants and is therefore invalid. This is a surprising rumor; there were Protestants present for observation, but they certainly were not involved with any of the formal decisions. Also, I do believe that doing some research on what the mass must do and must contain will relieve any suspicions that the Novus Ordo mass is invalid, since surely it still contains everything necessary. C) The wording of the mass was changed, and therefore it is invalid. It is true that some words were lost in translation, which was not supposed to happen, however this is not the first time that the wording of the mass has been changed, it did not change any specific formulas such as the words of the consecration ( ), and in addition the Church is working to put a better and more direct translation out into the English speaking world. D) There is so much liturgical abuse stemming from Vatican II that attending any Novus Ordo mass is a risk. This is obviously a gross exaggeration, first of all. Second of all, there has been liturgical abuse since the earliest days of the Church. Third of all, if your husband is really convinced of this, he is welcome to attend a LICIT Traditional Catholic mass, such as one of the FSSP.

I only hope I can help. As to your son…well, I am quite afraid I have no idea what to say to that.

Oh and just to address this one phrase: “The SSPX damns all gays to hell and their is no tolerance or love”. That is not the truth. In fact, that sounds a lot like what an atheist would say about Catholics in general. Like I said, they practice traditional Catholicism, and there is nothing that they teach differently, except for the rejection of Vatican II. If your husband tries to kick your son out of the house, remind him to practice Christian charity even if he does insist on following an illicit faction.

 

[aTraditionalist]

mwncheesehead:

Quote:

Originally Posted by kozlosap

The SSPX are not a cult, but neither are they faithful to our Holy Father, Francis. They refuse to believe or to state that VII was a valid council. This “fit” of theirs has been going on for almost forty years.

Like the OP, Kozlosap, you are ill informed about the SSPX. They are as faithful to the Holy Father as any Catholic can be. They just don’t blindly accept every liturgical novelty of Vatican II that happens to pop up. The society priests mention/pray for Pope Francis in every Mass they celebrate.

The SSPX most certainly accepts VII as a council of the Church. Do they criticize many statements that came out of that council? You bet they do!

Let’s also not forget that the council was not dogmatic. The documents were ambiguous at times and the lack of clarification left people to interpret. Thus the “spirit of VII” IMHO.

Did you counsel your son on the options of a chaste single life? Your husband is justifiably upset. The Church has always taught that active homosexuals will go to hell. I wish you the best for your family during this period of turmoil.

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[SMGS127]

The Church has always taught that active homosexuals will go to hell.

No, the Church has never taught this. Ever. The Church has taught that actively gay people commit grave matter; this neither means Hell nor even mortal sin. Full knowledge and full intent MUST be present, and even if a mortal sin is committed, an actively gay person can repent, cease same-sex physicality (thus no longer being actively gay), and be forgiven. It is not at all (and never has been) the teaching of the Church that actively gay people will go to Hell.

 

[PaulinVA]

The SSPX is in an irregular position. Pope Benedict XVI lifted any excommunication leveled against them. There is no question as to the validity of the sacraments performed by SSPX bishops and priests.

This statement is disingenuous. While it’s true that the SSPX has an unquestioning position on this, and the Vatican has a position without question on this, they do not hold the same position.

 

[SyroMalankara]

This statement is disingenuous. While it’s true that the SSPX has an unquestioning position on this, and the Vatican has a position without question on this, they do not hold the same position.

Actually, the Vatican has affirmed the validity of the Sacraments conferred by SSPX priests, except for those which require faculties from the local bishop or the Holy See - Confession and Marriage; for the other Sacraments, they are validly conferred but illicit (meaning against Church law). My personal opinion is steer clear, stay with the Church that is both valid and licit at all times - this also means steering clear of funny Novus Ordo (the Ordinary Form of the Roman Rite) Masses as well.

 

[PaulinVA]

Actually, the Vatican has affirmed the validity of the Sacraments conferred by SSPX priests, except for those which require faculties from the local bishop or the Holy See - Confession and Marriage; for the other Sacraments, they are validly conferred but illicit (meaning against Church law). .

This is correct. Jurisdiction is the problem.