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Lamentation
Guest
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This is up there with the thread with the guy who wanted to be Christian but didn’t believe in Jesus. :compcoff:
Help! Husband has been toying with the cult called SSPX and son came out as gay to me
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This is up there with the thread with the guy who wanted to be Christian but didn’t believe in Jesus. :compcoff:
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severus68
Guest
I had only two things to say. You were being rude in making personal comments. Who is attacking you? Secondly, God decides.
Now you are making personal comments to me???
Yes, the OP needs support, also from her husband who appears to have gone course. Her best support would be from her priest.
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aTraditionalist
Guest
What personal comments? If you actually read what I wrote you would see that I agree with you. Let’s cover the main points:
- Homosexuality is a disordered state of being.
- Homosexual sex is a mortal sin.
- Rejection of the Church, Our Lord, and embracing sin equals damnation.
- Judgement is God’s alone.
Posted from Catholic.com App for Android
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severus68
Guest
Yes!
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severus68
Guest
If below was not directed at me personally, then my apologies:
"If you call yourself a Christian and believe you are united to the one, holy catholic church and believe that sodomy is acceptable, "
I am fine with not continuing any discussion with you.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
I completely disagree.
A friend of mine grew up in a relatively squalid European city, and from when he was around 12, just about all his friends were gay. He didn’t know Christ; he just knew that gay sex felt good, and he wanted to feel good. You cannot possibly tell me that he had full knowledge and full consent of the will.
Now that he has converted, he does. But then? No way!
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sttcatherinefan
Guest
I think that you are right to be concerned about your husband. From what I’ve gathered about the SSPX, they seem to be bad news. patheos.com/blogs/feastofeden/2013/04/traditionalists-expert-on-pope-francis-is-holocaust-denier/
pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2013/01/13/the-society-of-st-pius-x-and-antisemitism/
I think that the best thing to do is to leave your husband temporarily. Can you go to the house of a relative or friend nearby? Hopefully, it is just a middle life crisis thing and your husband will develop a healthier obsession after you put your foot down.
pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2013/01/13/the-society-of-st-pius-x-and-antisemitism/
I think that the best thing to do is to leave your husband temporarily. Can you go to the house of a relative or friend nearby? Hopefully, it is just a middle life crisis thing and your husband will develop a healthier obsession after you put your foot down.
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Stylteralmaldo
Guest
Oh good. For a moment there I thought you stated that the Church always taught that active homosexuals always went to hell and therefore were teaching something that isn’t in Scripture because nowhere in Scripture does it say that active homosexuals are always going to hell. Thanks for clarifying that only The Lord judges and that we don’t pass judgement on others, including active homosexuals who may or may not go to hell due to their actions because it is The Lord who passes judgement on such matters.
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epan
Guest
Was that a self portrait? Thanks for sharing.
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Matt_Collins
Guest
Actually, there is question about the validity of the sacrament of Confession. Since the priests of the SSPX do not have any canonical status in the Church (even though they are no longer excommunicated), they do not have faculties to hear confessions. That is one of the requirements for validity of Confession: that the priest hearing the confession has the faculty to hear it.
Of course, in danger of death, any priest (even a laicized priest) may validly hear any Catholic’s confession.
As for the other sacraments: Certainly the Masses said by priests of the SSPX are valid. However, again, because they do not have any canonical status, as lay people I believe (but am not certain) that we are not allowed to use the SSPX Masses to fulfill our Sunday obligation, to get married, to be confirmed, have our children baptized, or be ordained by SSPX’s priests, deacons, or bishops.
The Sacrament of the Sick, however, if administered to someone in danger of death, would presumably fall under the same rules as confession.
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Matt_Collins
Guest
Seriously!!! Please say that you were just being sarcastic or facetious!
Separating from your spouse is a mortal sin unless done for only the gravest of reasons, which as described by the OP, is not the case here.
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sttcatherinefan
Guest
Wait so giving your husband who is involved with a fundamentalist religious group and is so fanatical about it that he is calling their pastor a “heretic” and who you are afraid will disown your son for being gay a few weeks “time out” to think about his actions is an occasion for grave sin. What next? Is a wife taking a weekend spa trip with the girls also an occasion for grave sin? I’m not suggesting that the OP divorce her husband yet. I think that this is a mid-life crisis and a few weeks of eating TV dinners and doing his own laundry will cure him of any love for the SSPX. However, I do think that if he persists with this, that the OP should think about a more permanent solution.
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aTraditionalist
Guest
Why would you call them fundamentalist? That’s borderline slander IMO. I think leaving is an extreme measure and a last resort. Married couples don’t resolve family issues through separation. Even if it’s temporary.
Posted from Catholic.com App for Android
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on_the_hill
Guest
After reading the OP’s two posts, I think this is trolling.
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Ella_K
Guest
Well put .
Also, as a Catholic I have been taught to hate the sin ; but, to LOVE the sinner !
Anyone else remember begin taught this ?
And, honestly, who are we to ever , even try to tell GOD how HE MUST judge anyone ?
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Ella_K
Guest
Praying for your intentions for you and your family !
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jp2thegr8t
Guest
Thank you for all the prayers and replies. It has been a storm for me. I am very angry at my son now. He admitted to me that he was having sex with his boyfriend. I told him the Church teaching and even the pope said if he was to do such a thing he should wear a codom. I am now afraid he will get an std or even worse. Please keep praying. I feel like my family is falling apart.
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severus68
Guest
So true.Well put .
Also, as a Catholic I have been taught to hate the sin ; but, to LOVE the sinner !
Anyone else remember begin taught this ?
And, honestly, who are we to ever , even try to tell GOD how HE MUST judge anyone ?
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manualman
Guest
Put the caffeine down, all of you! 
Come back after breathing a while.
It’s patently unfair and untrue to describe the SSPX as a cult or “Taliban.” On the other hand, it’s about as fair as painting all ordinary form (OF) masses as liturgically abusive freak shows, clown masses or barefoot prancing maiden shows. One hears assertions like that from SSPX not infrequently, so perhaps they can just swallow this one as a dose of their own medicine!
Like all stereotypes, there is often a smidgen of truth mixed in with the caricature and exaggeration. Let’s admit it: modernists prefer OF parishes to SSPX communities. Perhaps it’s not uncharitable to admit that anti-Semitic and/or actually homophobic catholics prefer SSPX communities. They each have differing wing nut fringes.
It’s possible that the OP’s husband has fallen in with a group of WAY out there SSPXers. Is that any harder to believe than an OF catholic falling in with a pack of enneagram-reading, drum beating New Agers? Not to me! So let’s assume she’s reacting to the particular group that her husband has fallen in with rather than critiquing her for overly generalizing about the SSPX. If he’s already predisposed to extremism, harshness, over-reaction and dismissiveness of others, the SSPX isn’t a healthy place for him. He really needs to be connected with some effective critiques of the SSPX and defenses of the actual catholic church in communion with Rome. CA has resources for that.
As for the son, perhaps there is a link here? Was the father always harsh and emotionally distant? Gay men are as diverse as any other group and I’m not a subscriber to theories that attempt to creating sweeping explanations for all same sex attractions, but it IS a pretty old stereotype of the gay man that they didn’t have a healthy relationship with their father. Often the other stereotype that goes with that one is a dominating and manipulative mother. Stereotypes (as I mentioned above) are unfair and harmful when they are assumed to apply to everybody. But sometimes they do have some basis in some people. If the above describe you and your husband, at least take every step in your power to be loving, supportive, firm but NOT manipulative or dominating in this trial.
Let the boy know you love him no matter what. Let him know that this revelation worries you NOT because it means he’s a “worse” person than the rest of us, but because the homosexual lifestyle is so frequently associated with depression, drug abuse, promiscuity, disease, suicide and domestic violence. Make sure he knows that you love him and will always love him no matter what, but that you can’t support those specific actions and behaviors because you KNOW that they are destructive to him. You won’t convince him and you can even assure him that you won’t badger him about it if he doesn’t throw it in your face all the time. Assure him that he’s your SON and that his sexual temptations don’t define who he IS to you. Nothing has to change in your relationship if you both agree to respect each other’s differences of opinion. That means you hold your tongue sometimes and he behaves himself around you. Compromise is the basis of civilized coexistence, no? Resist the temptation to lecture him all the time. Your compromise deal (with enforcement when he tries to push the boundaries) will be all the reminder he needs of your convictions. Some day, God willing, he’ll hit rock bottom in that lifestyle and will need a lifeline. Keep the relationship intact so that you can BE that lifeline. When he’s ready and asks for help you can explain the beauty of chastity, Grace and forgiveness. But he needs to want it first. You can’t control that. God bless.
Come back after breathing a while.It’s patently unfair and untrue to describe the SSPX as a cult or “Taliban.” On the other hand, it’s about as fair as painting all ordinary form (OF) masses as liturgically abusive freak shows, clown masses or barefoot prancing maiden shows. One hears assertions like that from SSPX not infrequently, so perhaps they can just swallow this one as a dose of their own medicine!
Like all stereotypes, there is often a smidgen of truth mixed in with the caricature and exaggeration. Let’s admit it: modernists prefer OF parishes to SSPX communities. Perhaps it’s not uncharitable to admit that anti-Semitic and/or actually homophobic catholics prefer SSPX communities. They each have differing wing nut fringes.
It’s possible that the OP’s husband has fallen in with a group of WAY out there SSPXers. Is that any harder to believe than an OF catholic falling in with a pack of enneagram-reading, drum beating New Agers? Not to me! So let’s assume she’s reacting to the particular group that her husband has fallen in with rather than critiquing her for overly generalizing about the SSPX. If he’s already predisposed to extremism, harshness, over-reaction and dismissiveness of others, the SSPX isn’t a healthy place for him. He really needs to be connected with some effective critiques of the SSPX and defenses of the actual catholic church in communion with Rome. CA has resources for that.
As for the son, perhaps there is a link here? Was the father always harsh and emotionally distant? Gay men are as diverse as any other group and I’m not a subscriber to theories that attempt to creating sweeping explanations for all same sex attractions, but it IS a pretty old stereotype of the gay man that they didn’t have a healthy relationship with their father. Often the other stereotype that goes with that one is a dominating and manipulative mother. Stereotypes (as I mentioned above) are unfair and harmful when they are assumed to apply to everybody. But sometimes they do have some basis in some people. If the above describe you and your husband, at least take every step in your power to be loving, supportive, firm but NOT manipulative or dominating in this trial.
Let the boy know you love him no matter what. Let him know that this revelation worries you NOT because it means he’s a “worse” person than the rest of us, but because the homosexual lifestyle is so frequently associated with depression, drug abuse, promiscuity, disease, suicide and domestic violence. Make sure he knows that you love him and will always love him no matter what, but that you can’t support those specific actions and behaviors because you KNOW that they are destructive to him. You won’t convince him and you can even assure him that you won’t badger him about it if he doesn’t throw it in your face all the time. Assure him that he’s your SON and that his sexual temptations don’t define who he IS to you. Nothing has to change in your relationship if you both agree to respect each other’s differences of opinion. That means you hold your tongue sometimes and he behaves himself around you. Compromise is the basis of civilized coexistence, no? Resist the temptation to lecture him all the time. Your compromise deal (with enforcement when he tries to push the boundaries) will be all the reminder he needs of your convictions. Some day, God willing, he’ll hit rock bottom in that lifestyle and will need a lifeline. Keep the relationship intact so that you can BE that lifeline. When he’s ready and asks for help you can explain the beauty of chastity, Grace and forgiveness. But he needs to want it first. You can’t control that. God bless.
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manualman
Guest
Now you sound like you’re trolling. Everybody knows no pope said anything of the sort.
He described it as a “first step towards morality” not the accomplishment of it. It’s a recognition of the harms of promiscuity and a (feeble) attempt to mitigate that harm (even if it is only a recognition of the lesser harm of a physically fatal disease).
It’s roughly analogous to a man who discovers his girlfriend in the act of cheating on him who becomes enraged, picks up a bat with the intent to bash her skull open and changes his mind at the last second and breaks her shoulder instead. He repented in time of the desire to kill, but didn’t go so far as to let go of his desire for physical vengeance altogether. But nobody in his right mind lauds him for it. He made a first step towards turning away from his vengeance and rage, but still committed a serious sin (and crime!).
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