Help- Im catholic but i'v fell for a muslim

[Faith101]

A devout Muslimah, who prayes tahajud, *dating * a Christian man (or *any * man)

 

[inJESUS]

Faith101:

A devout Muslimah, who prayes tahajud, *dating * a Christian man (or *any * man)

she used to do tahajud before converting.

 

[Faith101]

inJESUS:

she used to do tahajud before converting.

She was also dating him before converting.

i find it hard to beleive, that a Muslimah who wakes up in the middle of the night to pray to Allah, would allow herself to disobey Allah like that by dating any man

 

[inJESUS]

one of my friends married to a moslem woman, who converted to Christianity because when she did tahajud prayer (at midnight), she saw a cross in front of her sajadah. So you may also ask her to pray to God that He will show her the way.

He did not specify “when” they were dating; but if you mean that he married her by seeing her photo, then of course it is absurd; you need to know the person before getting married coz marriage is not a joke or a contract that you can annul whenever you feel like it.

 

[Faith101]

inJESUS:

He did not specify “when” they were dating; but if you mean that he married her by seeing her photo, then of course it is absurd; you need to know the person before getting married coz marriage is not a joke or a contract that you can annul whenever you feel like it.

re read the post. She was dating him prior to converting.

As for your next comment, it doesnt make any sense…American society is a society where people date, even live together sometimes, prior to marriage…but look at the divorce rate. The fact that you knew them for a loooong time prior to getting married, doesnt mean that your relationship will be succesfull.

You can very well get to know somebody prior to getting married to them, but you can’t disobey Allah to do it. That means, never allowing yourself to be alone with that person, unchaperoned.

 

[inJESUS]

re read the post. She was dating him prior to converting.

ok ok, what does dating mean to you?

As for your next comment, it doesnt make any sense…American society is a society where people date, even live together sometimes, prior to marriage…but look at the divorce rate. The fact that you knew them for a loooong time prior to getting married, doesnt mean that your relationship will be succesfull.

correct, neither you version of it . It depends on “what” is marriage to people.

You can very well get to know somebody prior to getting married to them, but you can’t disobey Allah to do it. That means, never allowing yourself to be alone with that person, unchaperoned

i’m not talking about pre-marital relation; to know the person does not mean to have premarital relation…so why will you disobeing allah? is it haram to get to know a man?

 

[exoflare]

inJESUS:

i’m not talking about pre-marital relation; to know the person does not mean to have premarital relation…so why will you disobeing allah? is it haram to get to know a man?

Yes, dating is supposed to be against Islamic teaching.

 

[inJESUS]

exoflare:

inJESUS:

Yes, dating is supposed to be against Islamic teaching.

and how do you know your future husband? once you get into the same house??? doesnt a woman have the choice of who she will marry?? if yes, then how cant she date ? if no, then what on earth is marriage to muslims?

 

[exoflare]

inJESUS:

exoflare:

and how do you know your future husband? once you get into the same house??? doesnt a woman have the choice of who she will marry?? if yes, then how cant she date ? if no, then what on earth is marriage to muslims?

The guy I know here says that the parents of both the guy and the girl meet each other and arrange the whole thing. The meeting between the guy and the girl also takes place in the company of the parents, and not by themselves… Then again I’m not sure whether what he told me is a Muslim thing, or an Indian cultural thing.

 

[Faith101]

ok ok, what does dating mean to you?

being alone with the opposite sex.

i’m not talking about pre-marital relation; to know the person does not mean to have premarital relation…so why will you disobeing allah? is it haram to get to know a man?

unchaperoned, yes.

The messenger of Allah said that when a man and a woman are alone, the third is the devil.

In His wisdom, Allah has made forbidden those things that lead to great sins. If i make it a point never to be alone with a man, then how on earth will i ever commit fornication?

Look at what has happened to society…how did this all start? Even if you watch the old American movies, they are so rated G…he loves her, he marries her. Now, he loves her, he sleeps with her…he considers marrying her.

 

[inJESUS]

Faith101:

being alone with the opposite sex.

unchaperoned, yes.

The messenger of Allah said that when a man and a woman are alone, the third is the devil.

In His wisdom, Allah has made forbidden those things that lead to great sins. If i make it a point never to be alone with a man, then how on earth will i ever commit fornication?

Look at what has happened to society…how did this all start? Even if you watch the old American movies, they are so rated G…he loves her, he marries her. Now, he loves her, he sleeps with her…he considers marrying her.

yes but what about couples who are alone yet do nothing out of conviction and faith? devil will affect people if they allow him; but when faith and conviction are stronger, then no fear; you dont have to stay alone in a house, but at least you can have lunch or dinner or go to the movies!

so how do you get married? how do you make sure it is the one for you and based on what?

 

[inJESUS]

exoflare:

inJESUS:

The guy I know here says that the parents of both the guy and the girl meet each other and arrange the whole thing. The meeting between the guy and the girl also takes place in the company of the parents, and not by themselves… Then again I’m not sure whether what he told me is a Muslim thing, or an Indian cultural thing.

lol yea i know but i thought they got a bit more evolved; it seems not.

 

[Faith101]

exoflare:

inJESUS:

The guy I know here says that the parents of both the guy and the girl meet each other and arrange the whole thing. The meeting between the guy and the girl also takes place in the company of the parents, and not by themselves… Then again I’m not sure whether what he told me is a Muslim thing, or an Indian cultural thing.

That is correct.

It is also important to note that **nothing ** can take place without the girl’s approval (there are many ahadith to support that).

From personal experience, it actually works out pretty well. Instead of being in the middle of a meat market, you know, from the begining, the intention of the person—marriage. You are able to ask questions that you really cant ask on a normal date (without the other person thinking that you are “moving too fast”). And you can meet them, in the comfort of your own home, enough times so that you can make a decision…and in the end of it all, you depend on Allah and pray that this person will be one who will help you become a more devout believer.

From hearing about what some of my friends go through in their dating experience…i am relieved that this is the way we do things.

 

[exoflare]

Faith101:

exoflare:

That is correct.

It is also important to note that **nothing **

can take place without the girl’s approval (there are many ahadith to support that).

So the guy has to ask permission from the girl before making any sort of decision while he’s “dating” (I guess not dating) her? I’m not sure I understand what you mean by this.

 

[inJESUS]

Faith101:

exoflare:

That is correct.

It is also important to note that **nothing **

can take place without the girl’s approval (there are many ahadith to support that).

From personal experience, it actually works out pretty well. Instead of being in the middle of a meat market, you know, from the begining, the intention of the person—marriage. You are able to ask questions that you really cant ask on a normal date (without the other person thinking that you are “moving too fast”). And you can meet them, in the comfort of your own home, enough times so that you can make a decision…and in the end of it all, you depend on Allah and pray that this person will be one who will help you become a more devout believer.

From hearing about what some of my friends go through in their dating experience…i am relieved that this is the way we do things.
so the intention is marriage before even knowing the person; you see the woman in her house with all the family , and you decide that she suits you; but what is wrong if you go out together for a lunch? will allah be angry?
if you are with your brother alone, then devil is between you? what will change if he were not your brother? the devil will appeare? isnt your faith stronger than the devil?

anyway, i find this backward, full of fear and no trust in the human being or intention…you feel “safe” like this fine…but marriage to me, to Christians, is much different.

 

[exoflare]

inJESUS:

if you are with your brother alone, then devil is between you? what will change if he were not your brother?

In all fairness, I think you can logically exclude brothers from that statement. This is probably thought to be implied.

 

[Faith101]

yes but what about couples who are alone yet do nothing out of conviction and faith?

As beautiful as that sounds…conviction and faith sometimes stand no chance against passion and desire…why put yourself in a situation that you *may not * be able to control?

devil will affect people if they allow him; but when faith and conviction are stronger, then no fear; you dont have to stay alone in a house, but at least you can have lunch or dinner or go to the movies!

It is exactly lunch and dinner and the movies, that allows you to becomoe comfortable with a person…and then coems the holding hands…then the hugging…then the kissing…then…

Again, its like a man going to a strip club and thinking " i will not look"…its better for him to stay at home and avoid the situation that may cause him to sin.

so how do you get married? how do you make sure it is the one for you and based on what

First, you trust in God…and you pray to Him. There is a specific supplication for situations like these.

Second, take the oppurtunity to ask questions…know his opinions on matters that are important to you.

Third, ask about him (his family, friends, the imam of the masjid he goes to, etc.)

In the end, again, trust God. You never really know a person until you live with them. But you can cover the basics prior to that

 

[Faith101]

exoflare:

Faith101:

So the guy has to ask permission from the girl before making any sort of decision while he’s “dating” (I guess not dating) her? I’m not sure I understand what you mean by this.

i’ll try to re-explain a little more clearly

They get to know each other, under supervision. When both parties feel comfortable taking the next step…they do. The man has to fully agree…and so does the girl. IF she says “no, i dont want to marry him” then she can not be forced to marry him…likewise if he says “no i dont want to marry her” then he cant be forced to marry her.

 

[inJESUS]

yes Faith i got your point; i see it in arabic movies anyway; it makes you feel safe like this;
stay at home Faith coz allah might be angry
do not go to movies coz it might lead to handholding
do not go to lunch coz it may lead to…donno what
you know what, to keep it 100% safe, do not get out of your home; allah will be appeased like this.

How great when Jesus said : know the truth , it shall set you FREE.

 

[Faith101]

so the intention is marriage before even knowing the person; you see the woman in her house with all the family , and you decide that she suits you; but what is wrong if you go out together for a lunch? will allah be angry?

Yes, the intention is marriage.

anyway, i find this backward, full of fear and no trust in the human being or intention…you feel “safe” like this fine…but marriage to me, to Christians, is much different.

lol. backward? What do you call a society where females are left pregnant on the street? What do you call a society where fornication is wide spread…where virginity is something to be embarrassed of? Is THIS what Jesus would like?

I thought Christians would agree on this…but i guess not all of them do.